Believing weight problems are "fine"

Snake

Oh my god last time I'm going to say this


If you're fat and grand with that and don't moan about it that's grand

If you aren't happy with it aren't trying and moan about it and people pussyfoot with you, THATS the problem.

Snake

baby and crumble wrote: »

Fair enough but maybe we need to think about a way to say "you're gorgeous but if you want or need to lose weight for your health then I'll support you" Conflating looks and health issues doesnt help anyone.

I didn't say that, don't say no you ugly yoke go to a gym. If someone asks are they fat why is it wrong to tell them the truth?

verywell

GrayFox208 wrote: »

Oh my god last time I'm going to say this


If you're fat and grand with that and don't moan about it that's grand

If you aren't happy with it aren't trying and moan about it and people pussyfoot with you, THATS the problem.

But whose problem is this exactly? Sounds like you're the one with the problem with it.

No matter how many ppl/friends tell you you're grand, you yourself know whether you are grand for you. Not for someone else's level of grandness.

Alf Veedersane

GrayFox208 wrote: »

I didn't say that, don't say no you ugly yoke go to a gym. If someone asks are they fat why is it wrong to tell them the truth?

The impression you've given is that your brand of truth would come with a big dollop of harsh.

Nothing wrong with the truth but know how to dispense it.

Snake

verywell wrote: »

But whose problem is this exactly? Sounds like you're the one with the problem with it.

No matter how many ppl/friends tell you you're grand, you yourself know whether you are grand for you. Not for someone else's level of grandness.

Ah you're right, health crippling obesity is defiantly a level of grand you should settle with. Especially when you get sick and you're body can't fight the infections. Aye

Davei141

OP talking some amount of rubbish. The worst way to tackle obesity is to abuse people. Lets face it you couldn't care less about obesity or trying to tackle it. I am sick of reading this faux-concern on boards for obesity levels when it is just an excuse to deride, abuse and belittle people.

El_Dangeroso

It's a really complex issue, but one thing is for sure. Abusing someone is a great way to ensure that they never change..

However, I do think we have an issue in society with the 'bucket of crabs' effect. People who eat healthy pretty much all the time have their food commented on, or else if they refuse junk food or some cake someone baked people get offended and take it personally.

When I was losing weight there were loads of people telling me 'Oh don't get too skinny', 'You're fine as you are', 'Can't you have a treat just this once?' and it does not help at all, it just makes you feel like more of a freak for not joining in with what 'normal' people eat (btw the average i.e. 'normal' person in this country is overweight - so if that's normal no thanks).

We should cheer on anyone's healthy choice, but some people do take it as a personal judgement on their own diet when you choose something healthier than them.

Egass13

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

It's a really complex issue, but one thing is for sure. Abusing someone is a great way to ensure that they never change..

However, I do think we have an issue in society with the 'bucket of crabs' effect. People who eat healthy pretty much all the time have their food commented on, or else if they refuse junk food or some cake someone baked people get offended and take it personally.

When I was losing weight there were loads of people telling me 'Oh don't get too skinny', 'You're fine as you are', 'Can't you have a treat just this once?' and it does not help at all, it just makes you feel like more of a freak for not joining in with what 'normal' people eat (btw the average i.e. 'normal' person in this country is overweight - so if that's normal no thanks).

We should cheer on anyone's healthy choice, but some people do take it as a personal judgement on their own diet when you choose something healthier than them.

I agree with that completely, the looks I get off workmates when they're tucking into breakfast rolls and I'm sitting there with my chicken and veg etc. Dsnt bother me anymore, but it would turn somebody off that's only starting down that road

Snake

Not repeating myself. I never said abuse anyone I said don't lie to them, read back a few pages and you'll see that.

Alf Veedersane

GrayFox208 wrote: »

Not repeating myself. I never said abuse anyone I said don't lie to them, read back a few pages and you'll see that.

How you tell them the truth is important.

Telling someone they don't have a problem when they do does no one and good.

But if you make someone feel bad about themselves, it will be just as useful in many cases.

Tact is the order of the day. That's all.

verywell

GrayFox208 wrote: »

Ah you're right, health crippling obesity is defiantly a level of grand you should settle with. Especially when you get sick and you're body can't fight the infections. Aye

You totally misread my post :rolleyes:

Bacchus

I've only read the OP and skimmed through some posts but here's my 2c.

Yes, abuse is not constructive and just adds to the person's problems - downward spiral, not feeling good about themselves.

However, I agree with the OP that there's too much pandering to over weight people's feelings and creating an environment around them where people think it's perfectly fine to be overweight.

It's a tricky tightrope to walk because obviously it's not a friend's place (depending on the relationship) to intervene and tell someone they need to improve their health. Equally it would be socially... odd to never compliment a person, say on a night out, by telling them they look great. Ultimately, it is down to the person themselves to decide if they need to make changes in their life. Unfortunately, in modern society being overweight is normal and pointing out a persons weight to someone is rude, so where does the change come from.

Funnily enough the other way around is fine. My lunch is sometimes commented on and maybe a small harmless joke made about it while I sit and watch my colleagues eat the same bland rolls from Spar/Centra/wherever every day. It's totally backwards.

Davei141

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

It's a really complex issue, but one thing is for sure. Abusing someone is a great way to ensure that they never change..

However, I do think we have an issue in society with the 'bucket of crabs' effect. People who eat healthy pretty much all the time have their food commented on, or else if they refuse junk food or some cake someone baked people get offended and take it personally.

When I was losing weight there were loads of people telling me 'Oh don't get too skinny', 'You're fine as you are', 'Can't you have a treat just this once?' and it does not help at all, it just makes you feel like more of a freak for not joining in with what 'normal' people eat (btw the average i.e. 'normal' person in this country is overweight - so if that's normal no thanks).

We should cheer on anyone's healthy choice, but some people do take it as a personal judgement on their own diet when you choose something healthier than them.

I think everyone has dealt with the "don't get too skinny" comments but i don't think people meant any harm. The whole sabotage thing though of getting people to eat junk though to make people feel better about their own choices really does my head in though. It is important to know that if you DO have that bit of junk it isn't a big deal, some people get way too obsessive.

Women are the absolute worst for the whole "Ah just have one" thing. It was funny when i was in college in a mature student class all the girls in my class practically made it their mission to get others to eat the sweets they brought in, it was gas to sit back and watch it unfold. Person A be trying to eat clean but person B brings in a boatload of chocolate and keeps telling them one bit won't kill ya. The cycle just repeats every week!

GrayFox208 wrote: »

Not repeating myself. I never said abuse anyone I said don't lie to them, read back a few pages and you'll see that.

From your whole tone it is pretty damn obvious what you meant by "Don't lie to them". Alf was dead right about tact. I find the best way to tackle it is to talk about all the benefits of healthy eating/exercise and most certainly do not start yapping away about all the negative parts of being overweight, because trust me...they know.

Davei141

Bacchus wrote: »

I've only read the OP and skimmed through some posts but here's my 2c.

Yes, abuse is not constructive and just adds to the person's problems - downward spiral, not feeling good about themselves.

However, I agree with the OP that there's too much pandering to over weight people's feelings and creating an environment around them where people think it's perfectly fine to be overweight.

It's a tricky tightrope to walk because obviously it's not a friend's place (depending on the relationship) to intervene and tell someone they need to improve their health. Equally it would be socially... odd to never compliment a person, say on a night out, by telling them they look great. Ultimately, it is down to the person themselves to decide if they need to make changes in their life. Unfortunately, in modern society being overweight is normal and pointing out a persons weight to someone is rude, so where does the change come from.

Funnily enough the other way around is fine. My lunch is sometimes commented on and maybe a small harmless joke made about it while I sit and watch my colleagues eat the same bland rolls from Spar/Centra/wherever every day. It's totally backwards.

People comment on it because if it is seen as "weird" then that must mean their chicken fillet roll is normal. It is a defence mechanism. Tell you what though they perk up and take notice of your food in a positive way when they see your results.

(Apologies for the double post)

Snake

Davei141 wrote: »

From your whole tone it is pretty damn obvious what you meant by "Don't lie to them". Alf was dead right about tact. I find the best way to tackle it is to talk about all the benefits of healthy eating/exercise and most certainly do not start yapping away about all the negative parts of being overweight, because trust me...they know.

If you can hear my voice over the internet you have super powers mate.

Davei141

GrayFox208 wrote: »

If you can hear my voice over the internet you have super powers mate.

Tone doesn't just mean listening to your voice, but i am sure you know that. Maybe I have completely got you wrong and you are actually a caring individual who really does want to help people lose weight, instead of just wanting to feel superior..

Tarzana

generic2012 wrote: »

It's not just about the parents and the children, it's about the tax payers too.

Ah shtop, people hide behind this, when really people being overweight just offends their eyes.

Tarzana

verywell wrote: »

How do you know if I'm working on it or not?

This is a very good point. How do you know someone isn't trying? It's a very difficult thing to do, involving a complete lifestyle overhaul, something many people, overweight or not, would find difficult to do.

Davei141

Tarzana wrote: »

Ah shtop, people hide behind this, when really people being overweight just offends their eyes.

Absolutely, anyone that uses "I am a concerned taxpayer" in relation to obesity is talking out of their hoop. At least be honest and upfront about why you care about obesity, you dislike the sight of obese people/hate being sat beside them etc. which accounts for 99% of dislike.

I dislike obesity because of the health issues, higher rates of depression and confidence issues etc. I love giving people advice to turn their lives around, not many people take it on board but when they do, watching the change people make it is one of the most satisfying things personally. Nobody with the OPs attitude has ever thought like that i bet.

Blacktie.

Davei141 wrote: »

Absolutely, anyone that uses "I am a concerned taxpayer" in relation to obesity is talking out of their hoop. At least be honest and upfront about why you care about obesity, you dislike the sight of obese people/hate being sat beside them etc. which accounts for 99% of dislike.

I dislike obesity because of the health issues, higher rates of depression and confidence issues etc. I love giving people advice to turn their lives around, not many people take it on board but when they do, watching the change people make it is one of the most satisfying things personally. Nobody with the OPs attitude has ever thought like that i bet.

Wow. So you're saying people who say they care about taxes are lying and all they really care about is their disgust by seeing obese people and then go on to say the reason you dislike it is because of health concerns for these people. Well aren't you just a little saint compared to all of us shallow people.

Davei141

Blacktie. wrote: »

Wow. So you're saying people who say they care about taxes are lying and all they really care about is their disgust by seeing obese people and then go on to say the reason you dislike it is because of health concerns for these people. Well aren't you just a little saint compared to all of us shallow people.

We see it all the time on boards. People thinking they have a right to be derisive of peoples lives because they pay tax. How do you know they aren't paying tax? Junk food has a 23% tax. People who are obese die earlier so that means less pension (or none at all), less bus passes and basically a delay of X amount of years before they will need to be taken care of from the wear and tear of life.

So don't pretend you care about tackling obesity when your reasons are purely about how much of your income goes to treat people who are sick. You say it like if obesity doesn't exist the government are going to personally post you back a few euro.

I am far from a saint, but you know a bit of empathy goes a long way and that is the key to helping people turn their lives around. Do you think people whose main concern is their tax money (lets take it at face value) are going to be giving out advice that is likely to be taken on board? Or will they give a nice spiel about how the person is just a burden to that tax payer?

Blacktie.

Davei141 wrote: »

We see it all the time on boards. People thinking they have a right to be derisive of peoples lives because they pay tax. How do you know they aren't paying tax? Junk food has a 23% tax. People who are obese die earlier so that means less pension (or none at all), less bus passes and basically a delay of X amount of years before they will need to be taken care of from the wear and tear of life.

So don't pretend you care about tackling obesity when your reasons are purely about how much of your income goes to treat people who are sick. You say it like if obesity doesn't exist the government are going to personally post you back a few euro.

I am far from a saint, but you know a bit of empathy goes a long way and that is the key to helping people turn their lives around. Do you think people whose main concern is their tax money (lets take it at face value) are going to be giving out advice that is likely to be taken on board? Or will they give a nice spiel about how the person is just a burden to that tax payer?

I don't think you can generalise to the extent that you did. Everyone has a different opinion and saying one of the opinions is just a cover for another is a huge leap of faith (this could be the wrong wording?).

Interesting take on the tax line btw. I never really thought of that but I also don't share the view that obesity is costing tax payers money. Maybe it is but that's not the biggest concern of it.

Davei141

Blacktie. wrote: »

I don't think you can generalise to the extent that you did. Everyone has a different opinion and saying one of the opinions is just a cover for another is a huge leap of faith (this could be the wrong wording?).

Interesting take on the tax line btw. I never really thought of that but I also don't share the view that obesity is costing tax payers money. Maybe it is but that's not the biggest concern of it.

Ah you are probably right about generalising, but i guess i mean if that if somebodies main concern is tax payers I just don't see too much empathy. I think you need better motivations for somebody to use their time to help someone else without judging.

I guess my main issue is you see it all over boards peoples concerns for tax payers that is not very sincere and usually involves abusing a subset of people hence my generalising.

Tarzana

Blacktie. wrote: »

Wow. So you're saying people who say they care about taxes are lying and all they really care about is their disgust by seeing obese people and then go on to say the reason you dislike it is because of health concerns for these people.

Pretty much what I was saying. It's such a flimsy cover, allowing the utterer to take the moral high ground, or at least *think* they are. As said, many items that contribute to weight gain are taxed at the highest VAT rate. They do contribute to the state's take. The more junk you eat, the more tax you pay.

generic2012

Tarzana wrote: »

Ah shtop, people hide behind this, when really people being overweight just offends their eyes.

Tarzana wrote: »

Pretty much what I was saying. It's such a flimsy cover, allowing the utterer to take the moral high ground, or at least *think* they are. As said, many items that contribute to weight gain are taxed at the highest VAT rate. They do contribute to the state's take. The more junk you eat, the more tax you pay.

Don't think anyone said it was the main reason. Someone said that it's no elses business if other people choose to be overweight. I was just making a point to refute that claim, I think you're taking it out of context by insinuating that I said the only reason I care about people choosing to be fat is for tax reasons, or my own financial gain.

Tarzana

generic2012 wrote: »

Don't think anyone said it was the main reason. Someone said that it's no elses business if other people choose to be overweight. I was just making a point to refute that claim, I think you're taking it out of context by insinuating that I said the only reason I care about people choosing to be fat is for tax reasons, or my own financial gain.

Actually, I was saying that people who being up the burden to the taxpayer often don't really care about taxpayer's money, that it's just a front.

And I still believe it's nobodies business but the individual's and maybe their loved ones. As illustrated before, it's a bit of a fallacy to claim that obese individual cost more for the state than your average punter. So it's not even accurate. So nobody has the right to claim it's their business based on this argument. But like I said, I don't even believe that what people's problem is. For the most part, they just don't like how it looks so they whinge about taxpayer's money being wasted.

El_Dangeroso

Presumably the people who use the taxpayer point are doing absolutely everything to ensure they don't make a burden of themselves on the health system. As in they NEVER drink more than they should.. and also publicly chastise those they see smoking or drinking to excess, they do yeah..

OldNotWIse

I dont mind fat people. They're useful for standing beside to make oneself appear smaller.

generic2012

Tarzana wrote: »

Actually, I was saying that people who being up the burden to the taxpayer often don't really care about taxpayer's money, that it's just a front.

And I still believe it's nobodies business but the individual's and maybe their loved ones. As illustrated before, it's a bit of a fallacy to claim that obese individual cost more for the state than your average punter. So it's not even accurate. So nobody has the right to claim it's their business based on this argument. But like I said, I don't even believe that what people's problem is. For the most part, they just don't like how it looks so they whinge about taxpayer's money being wasted.

I don't care about taxpayers money, I care about my money. You can think what you want, it doesn't make it true. Again, no one was 'whinging' about it, it was given as one reason as to why it is society's right to care about it and how it is people's problems. And it's not a fallacy to think fat people cost the state more. here's a study from 2 years ago by UCC which found that obesity costs Ireland €1bn a year.

http://www.rte.ie/news/2012/1128/355539-obese-cost-study/

Fat people cost everyone money. Again, you can believe what you want, but it won't make it true.

geeksauce

It's the tablets

Tarzana

generic2012 wrote: »

I don't care about taxpayers money, I care about my money. You can think what you want, it doesn't make it true. Again, no one was 'whinging' about it, it was given as one reason as to why it is society's right to care about it and how it is people's problems. And it's not a fallacy to think fat people cost the state more. here's a study from 2 years ago by UCC which found that obesity costs Ireland €1bn a year.

http://www.rte.ie/news/2012/1128/355539-obese-cost-study/

Fat people cost everyone money. Again, you can believe what you want, but it won't make it true.

To round out this study, you would need to look at whether people with obesity live as long as those who are not. My guess is long term, obese individuals end up costing the state less. And anyway, that's how tax works. You might not necessarily get any specific back for the tax you pay. Sucks, but there you go.

Also, ew, safefood. They still advocate the food pyramid, FFS. Lollers. Really not the people to be pontificating to anyone about weight gain.

And as mentioned above, unless you do everything in your power to never cost taxpayers money, you are in no position to pontificate to anyone. It's simply not your business. Accept that.

generic2012

Tarzana wrote: »

To round out this study, you would need to look at whether people with obesity live as long as those who are not. My guess is long term, obese individuals end up costing the state less. And anyway, that's how tax works. You might not necessarily get any specific back for the tax you pay. Sucks, but there you go.

Also, ew, safefood. They still advocate the food pyramid, FFS. Lollers. Really not the people to be pontificating to anyone about weight gain.

And as mentioned above, unless you do everything in your power to never cost taxpayers money, you are in no position to pontificate to anyone. It's simply not your business. Accept that.

If you actually believe they didn't factor life expectancy into the study you really are very desperate to rationalise your view. Believe what you need to make you content but remember that just because you want something to be true doesn't make it true.

Tarzana

generic2012 wrote: »

If you actually believe they didn't factor life expectancy into the study you really are very desperate to rationalise your view. Believe what you need to make you content but remember that just because you want something to be true doesn't make it true.

:pac:

Did YOU read the study?

generic2012

Tarzana wrote: »

:pac:

Did YOU read the study?

No but I'm a published author and I know what has to be done to get one published. Again, believe what you want.

El_Dangeroso

generic2012 wrote: »

No but I'm a published author and I know what has to be done to get one published. Again, believe what you want.

Eh, the study wasn't peer reviewed, it was published as a report by safefood, the link is in the article.

They counted 'premature mortality' as a 'cost' of 420m, not sure how people dying early costs us that much, I think they are relating it to 'lost productivity' which is a weird metric to cost early death on.

Tarzana

generic2012 wrote: »

No but I'm a published author and I know what has to be done to get one published. Again, believe what you want.

Well, as a published author (scientific, I presume?), you will know that being published in and of itself doesn't confer authority. Some really questionable papers get published, some of them even get through peer review. They still need to critiqued once published. And some of them are very flawed and very limited in their scope. And as said, the safefood one isn't even peer-reviewed so has been subject to even less rigor. The link you posted is far from a smoking gun.

Ken Shamrock

dor843088

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Eh, the study wasn't peer reviewed, it was published as a report by safefood, the link is in the article.

They counted 'premature mortality' as a 'cost' of 420m, not sure how people dying early costs us that much, I think they are relating it to 'lost productivity' which is a weird metric to cost early death on.

Cost of a hospital bed is over 330,000 a year apparently. The earlier people start attending hospital obviously the more its going to cost.

El_Dangeroso

dor843088 wrote: »

Cost of a hospital bed is over 330,000 a year apparently. The earlier people start attending hospital obviously the more its going to cost.

Yes but do you know that 85% of ALL hospital expenditure is spent in the last year of a patient's life?

dor843088

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Yes but do you know that 85% of ALL hospital expenditure is spent in the last year of a patient's life?

Makes sense I suppose.

Snake

You can say whatever you want.. If you want to be fat, and this is the 4th time I'm saying this - go ahead. But if you're going to moan about it and then moan that someone agrees with you - that's not fine. If people tell you that you're unhealthy and need to lose weight and you complain - that's not fine. If people are concerned about their weight and you tell them their okay when they're not - that is NOT fine.

gctest50

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Yes but do you know that 85% of ALL hospital expenditure is spent in the last year of a patient's life?

and this

* Yeovil District Hospital NHS Trust spent £15,130.80 on a bariatric body cooling system, frequently used when the bodies of obese patients do not fit in standard size mortuary fridges.

*Sherwood Forest Hospitals spent the most on bariatric equipment in the last three years – spending £728,027.

* Buckinghamshire Healthcare Trust rents beds, capable of taking a maximum weight of 71 stone, at a rate of £44.75 a day

*Royal Devon and Exeter NHS Foundation Trust spent the most on obese patients in the last financial year up to April 2014 – with obese patients costing the trust £200,619.56.

* Widening corridors cost Doncaster and Bassetlaw NHS Trust £80,000
* Chelsea and Westminster Hospital paid £48,832.50 for an operating table, specifically built to take the weight of obese patients. It also spent £5,000 on a bariatric toilet.
* East Sussex Healthcare Trust paid £35,000 to increase the width of doors and corridors in 2012/13.
* Beds specifically designed for obese patients cost Lancashire Teaching Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust £73,105 of a total £91,504.11 cost over three years
* Royal Devon and Exeter NHS Foundation Trust spent £54,000 on a wide patient operating table as part of a £254,000 spend over three years
* Removing and installing mortuary doors at Tameside Hospital NHS Foundation Trust cost £2,270.
* Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Kings Lynn £30,000 was spent on a bariatric - for obese patients - body store fridge
* Mid Cheshire Hospital installed a bariatric bathroom, with specially widened doors for bariatric patients, but did not specify the cost

queensinead

generic2012 wrote: »

I think a big part is that it can't be openly talked about, is a lot of it too though. To use the analogy of the smoker again, if you talk to a smoker most of them will talk to you about it, they won't say it's not unhealthy or say they don't smoke enough for it to be unhealthy etc. where this won't always be the case with a fat person. I can barely type that, that's not right. A person who has to much fat on their body is called fat, simple factual statement but it's become so loaded that it's nearly allowed to be said anymore, as if it's offensive when it's just a statement of fact. A fat person getting offended when they are called fat is like a smoker getting offended for being called a smoker.

If any 'smokers' are offended by any of that, it's only a statement of fact.

Why should it be "openly talked about" by anyone except the overweight person and their family doctor? Believe me, if they're fat, they know it already.

Where do good manners come into this? Just because something is a "fact" does not mean we should blurt it out to others if we suspect that it might hurt or upset them

It's as if the finger-waggers can't wait to start tut-tutting. And now that political correctness has put so many other groups beyond criticism, the only safe targets the self-righteous have left are fat people

If you are under the delusion that "a fat person being offended at being called fat is like a smoker getting offended for being called a smoker" then you know little about your fellow citizens, or are pretending to know little about them

Weight, especially for women, has deep psychological implications. It is tied up with issues of self-esteem, how we judge ourselves or are judged by others, our sense of self-worth, our sense of control over our lives, our fears. depression, childhood trauma, our need for comfort or love.

Issues around food can lead to bulimia, anorexia, self-harm, self-disgust, feelings of not being good enough, not fitting into the required mould. Over-eating can have complex causes and can be a crippling addiction.

Making "simple factual statements" to these people could be the equivalent of a bull blundering through a china shop.

So no, if I were you I wouldn't go round telling people they're fat,. Nor would I insist that telling them that is the same as telling smokers that they smoke

El_Dangeroso

It's amazing when people need to be told simple etiquette as the above.

It's not rocket science, just don't be a dick about it. Basic stuff really.

generic2012

Jeany Mc....

Snake

queensinead wrote: »

Why should it be "openly talked about" by anyone except the overweight person and their family doctor? Believe me, if they're fat, they know it already.

Where do good manners come into this? Just because something is a "fact" does not mean we should blurt it out to others if we suspect that it might hurt or upset them

It's as if the finger-waggers can't wait to start tut-tutting. And now that political correctness has put so many other groups beyond criticism, the only safe targets the self-righteous have left are fat people

If you are under the delusion that "a fat person being offended at being called fat is like a smoker getting offended for being called a smoker" then you know little about your fellow citizens, or are pretending to know little about them

Weight, especially for women, has deep psychological implications. It is tied up with issues of self-esteem, how we judge ourselves or are judged by others, our sense of self-worth, our sense of control over our lives, our fears. depression, childhood trauma, our need for comfort or love.

Issues around food can lead to bulimia, anorexia, self-harm, self-disgust, feelings of not being good enough, not fitting into the required mould. Over-eating can have complex causes and can be a crippling addiction.

Making "simple factual statements" to these people could be the equivalent of a bull blundering through a china shop.

So no, if I were you I wouldn't go round telling people they're fat,. Nor would I insist that telling them that is the same as telling smokers that they smoke

Because you don't need a P.hD in medicine to know someone's overweight.

generic2012

GrayFox208 wrote: »

Because you don't need a P.hD in medicine to know someone's overweight.

Notice all the things issues over food can lead to? Do you see becoming obese or overweight mentioned. No denial here, all rational conversation....

Alf Veedersane

If you've never had your weight commented on, you will never understand how it can cut into you. Not always but for a lot of people, whether they're underweight or overweight.

If someone asks if they have a weight problem, then the answer should be delivered truthfully but with tact.

If someone doesn't ask, it's no one's place to comment unless it impinges upon them.

It's an emotive subject for a lot of people and if you've never had to deal with it or been close to someone that's had to deal with it, you won't get it.

ford2600

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

If you've never had your weight commented on, you will never understand how it can cut into you. Not always but for a lot of people, whether they're underweight or overweight.

If someone asks if they have a weight problem, then the answer should be delivered truthfully but with tact.

If someone doesn't ask, it's no one's place to comment unless it impinges upon them.

It's an emotive subject for a lot of people and if you've never had to deal with it or been close to someone that's had to deal with it, you won't get it.

Your post goes to the heart of it.

I've got to 39 without ever being anything other than lean, despite having people very close to me deal with varying levels of excess weight, do I really have any clue what it feels like?

No matter what I eat in terms of macro breakdown or activity level, I don't gain weight. Do I have any meanigful advice for someone who has always struggled with eating and their weight? It seems to me a lot of the advice dished out comes from people like me.

Unless asked keep your mouth shut. When asked proceed with tact.

I will admit there is a flip side. I've got very lean in last 12 months( still have a BMI of 24-not that I put much faith in that) yet have regularly been told, your too skinny, do you eat at all etc etc. While not hurtful at all it does tell it's own tale on perceptions of body size etc

Alf Veedersane

ford2600 wrote: »

I will admit there is a flip side. I've got very lean in last 12 months( still have a BMI of 24-not that I put much faith in that) yet have regularly been told, your too skinny, do you eat at all etc etc. While not hurtful at all it does tell it's own tale on perceptions of body size etc

It might not be hurtful to you but a lot of people's self confidence is linked to their perception of their body and other people's comments affects that.

The whole concept of commenting on someone's weight should be done tactfully, if oen has been asked, regardless of whether someone is overweight or underweight.