Disturbing things you did as a child?

woodturner

I branded my brother with a hot poker from the fire

CrinkElite

Playing Doctors and nursers with the cousin.

But sure we've all done that right?

right?....

Adamantium

My best friend and I, lit the most expensive rocket one new year's eve in his house out back (rural area) and left it in a flower pot, of course just before the rocket took flight it slipped from a 90 degree to angle to a 60 degree one.

Taking flight, we both both stood dumb founded as the rocket took what seemed like the longest arcing shot in history downhill to our very affulent, and snooty teacher's house. It landed very close, and we held our breath. We weren't quite sure where it landed, and then the loudest greenest bang lit up the woods behind her house.

To think they were probably in their nightgowns having a nice cup of tea when they saw this outside their conservatory window (arc is accurate, explosion, only slightly less) 1:20. We were just glad it didn't blow the slates of the roof

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxKzT7AzK1c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORO341g0YJQ

Mongfinder General

I saw something which makes me laugh now but kind of freaked me out last week. I was cycling up Constitutional Hill and there were two young lads, maybe 8 or 9 years old. One had a lighter in his hand and was waving it around goading the other kid while singing 'this boy is on fire' to the tune of 'this girl is on fire' by Alicia Keys. Poor kid probably ended up with scorched clothes. I told the Missus and she thought it was hilarious.

yes there

Haha, that is hilarious, I can picture them at it. One day as I was quietly reading a book, I overheard two young boys talking outside about their friend and saying they didnt want to go into his house because his parents were probably having sex. I was laughing uncontrollably at that and kind of choked. Completely unexpected from them being so young.

Mongfinder General wrote: »

I saw something which makes me laugh now but kind of freaked me out last week. I was cycling up Constitutional Hill and there were two young lads, maybe 8 or 9 years old. One had a lighter in his hand and was waving it around goading the other kid while singing 'this boy is on fire' to the tune of 'this girl is on fire' by Alicia Keys. Poor kid probably ended up with scorched clothes. I told the Missus and she thought it was hilarious.

Voodoomelon

ElChe32 wrote: »

Me and my best mate would set fire to everything. Pyromaniacs the pair of us. We played fire tennis during the summer..and come Halloween we made home made bazookas out of plastic tubes and clogging up one end with muck and fired fireworks at each other. How we didn't die I don't know. Still get a good laugh about recalling those days when we meet up. Simpler times lads..simpler times

Sounds like we would have got on really well! Me and my mate were the same, fire fire fire. If it could be burnt, a match was put to it. Constantly messing with turpentine, white spirits, petrol, lighters, matches, flints, fireworks.

I still have vivid memories of the same fire tennis, and the whooooosh noise the flaming ball would make as it soared through the air. I also remember the neighbours ball landed in our garden. A few days later we covered it in kitchen roll, wrapped up in knitting wool, lit it on fire and kicked it back over the wall! Who the hell does things like that!?

We used to light arrows on fire and shoot them across the garden, light a line of petrol in the grass and cycle over ramps right through the flames, set legomen on fire etc etc.

All of the above was done in the summer, father at work and mother busy in the house. The most potentially lethal thing I remember was messing with petrol behind the heating oil tank (a nice little hidden spot) and flames suddenly rising out of control right up the side of the tank, melting the surface, with my mate in hysterics as I ran for the hose.

Sam Kade

Red Nissan wrote: »

Not possible, what's the real story. A big brooding hen would have eaten the pair o ye.

The hen was in her old age clung under a hedge not able or willing to fight back

dubscottie

One of the worst was when I was about 7/8 years old I cracked the skull open of a older girl up the road with my skateboard.

They though it would be funny to strip me naked and let me run home in my birthday suit.

Went home to put clothes on then went up to her house to get my others back. They tried to do the same again so ran home, grabbed my skateboard then as she was sitting in the drive of her house I walked up and cool as anything, battered the skateboard off her head wheels first.

She spent 3 weeks in hospital and the police, social work got involved..

Nothing came of it with the police etc (this was in the mid 80's).

Her mum worked my school as a lunch lady which made every dinner time awkward till I went to high school..

Just looked her up on Facebook.. Still has the scars.

Not one of my proudest moments..

gctest50

CrinkElite wrote: »

Playing Doctors and nursers with the cousin.

But sure we've all done that right?

right?....

They got proper pissed off cos i took her appendix out though

Lou.m

Vito Corleone wrote: »

What strange or disturbing things did you do as a child? God forbid, you committed a terrible crime, what moments of your childhood would professionals look back on and say "Yup, all the signs were there".

For me, one of them would be when I was about eleven. It was the whole sexual awakening stage of my life. I was very horny and decided to push my penis up against the window of my house. The cold feeling of the window must have given my eleven year old penis a great deal of pleasure. What was I thinking? Hopefully nobody saw.

Another disturbing event was when I was about 15 or 16. We had a lot of magpies around our house, which caused a great deal of irritation. They forced a lot of other birds from our garden out, and used to steal our cat and dog's food.

One day, behind our shed there was a confused magpie, maybe he had hit a window and was injured. I don't know, but I grabbed a rake. He was squawking and squawking. Before I knew it I was hitting him over and over again with the rake. I just wanted him to be quiet. I killed that magpie.

Anyway, what disturbing things did you do as a child?

Glad I don't know you in real life.

therambler

The 11 year old alpha-male wannabes in us used to hold onto electric fences and see who could last the longest

Lou.m

therambler wrote: »

The 11 year old alpha-male wannabes in us used to hold onto electric fences and see who could last the longest

You like this game huh ??? You like it ...you reeeeeeeaaaaalllly like it

Mwamwamwahahahhahahahaaaaaaaa

flas

Guy up the road from my house in my estate that grew up in had loads of oil and stuff in big barrels in his sheds,so me and one of the lads I used to hang out with were messing up the lane beside the sheds,set a fire with a few pallets and petrol and it got out of hand and burned the sheds to the ground,took two fire trucks to bring it under control and stop it spreading to the houses,we ran like feck that night. All of us in our estate used to light fires,if a ball burst it was quickly made into the shape of a bowl,doused in petrol,set alight and kicked into traffic. We were stupid little ****s,always messing on the train tracks and breaking into the rail freight yards at night for a chase!when we couldn't get a chase we would ring the guards on ourselves for a chase!

Had a fish once as well in my fish tank that was killing all the other fish so me and my best mate decided he had to go,and the only way to do it was to gas him,or as we did,take him out of the tank,put him in my brothers empty aftershave box and spray as much aftershave as we could in on top of him!still feel bad about that one,and the brother gave me a hidin for wastin his aftershave! Besides that never hurt animals,and gave my friend a box for throwing a kitten over a wall when we were about 10,he wanted to see if it would land ok,it didn't!didn't talk to him for a good while after that!

Also remember a pigeon made our gutter his house and would proceed to **** all over my sisters window under said gutter,this went on for weeks until my brother got a fishing net,caught the pigeon and "took care of it"...

Vito Corleone

Lou.m wrote: »

Glad I don't know you in real life.

Why is that?

dutopia

• Me and a friend dressed in black and wore balaclavas and snuck around town because we thought it was cool. Scared the bejaysis out of people
• Made a mini rocket launcher
• Blew up cans of gas in the woods
• Walk on train tracks at night and hopped onto freight trains
• Tested traps from the 'SAS Survival Guide' on my pet rabbit. Lucky I wasn't that great at making them
• Make weird drinks out of random kitchen ingredients and give them to friends for fun
• Hid under my parents bed and jumped out in the night to scare them... that happened once, never made them more angry
• Use a friend for target practise when firing my bow
• Trap wasps in jars and torture them
• Put sister's dolls heads into exercise bike when my brother pedalled and we'd cut the heads off them

Bloody hell I was a messed up kid.

smellmepower

At Halloween (and Christmas) one year in the mid 90's the local hardmen rang in phony burned out car calls to 999 and then pelted whatever emergency services arrived first with slates from the roof of the local shops.Our job as easily led 9/10 year olds was to innocently point the Garda van or fire brigade in the direction the senior scumbags told us to when they arrived.

Growing up in Clondalkin was lovely.

AlanS181824

I ate sausages raw.

I drank Baileys when I was 4.

What else?

Oh in school my friends and I used to go around and find all the Pookie Snails and but the poor guys on a rock and then get a big rock and slam it down.

It was "fun" then but I feel absolutely horrible now.

Also used to overuse the fly killer spray, seeing the little fly's go mad before they drop saddens me so much now.

...What am I doing up at this hour!

Chattastrophe!

My mum used to give us cod liver oil, I was addicted to it, I'd climb up from a chair onto the worktop to get it from the press, and would swig it from the bottle.

Yep ... that's pretty tame compared to most of the posts on this thread! :eek:

suicide_circus

Children really are nasty little psychopaths

Shane-KornSpace

Here goes:

I used to live in a block of flats on the top 3rd floor.
Behind the toilet was a little door which gave you access to some pipes. These pipes ran from the ground floor to the 3rd floor.
One day, when I was about 6, I decided to not flush the crap-covered toilet paper, but instead throw it down the chute behind the toilet.
About a year later, a woman from the 1st floor called up and started asking my mother about crappy toilet paper she'd been finding behind her toilet.
I denied it and never did it again!

Then when I was about 8 or 9, I was experimenting with fire by lighting pieces of paper and throwing them off the back balcony. One day the flame burnt my finger a little bit and I dropped it on the kitchen floor and then in a panic, I picked it up and put it in to the rubbish bin. Queue the bin catching fire. I put out the small fire with a pint of water.
The bin was badly burnt on one side. So to prevent my parents from noticing, I rotated the bin 180°.

When I was about 5, my parents went on holidays and left me in my grannies. I was always the first to wake up and I started robbing a cigarette from her pack when I got up and started smoking them.
I didn't inhale :P

Wasn't too familiar with female genitalia, so I didn't think hitting a girl in the vag would hurt her.... Playing Bulldogs Charge, I kneed her square in the vag. Can still remember the scream of pain she let out

The Pheasant2

When I was about ten, my deeply held hatred of flies manifested itself in what was the most effective fly killing machine the world has ever seen.

It was basically a fireball launcher made from 2 Pringles cans, a barbecue lighter, super glue, duct tape and lynx.

You pulled the trigger (BBQ lighter) which ignited the cloud of lynx in the tube and sent a huge fireball wherever you aimed it.

It would engulf the flies in flame and vaporize their wings instantaneously - they would crash to the earth on fire like a downed aircraft.

Actually come to think about it Im happy enough with that one :P

House of Blaze

The Pheasant2 wrote: »

When I was about ten, my deeply held hatred of flies manifested itself in what was the most effective fly killing machine the world has ever seen.

It was basically a fireball launcher made from 2 Pringles cans, a barbecue lighter, super glue, duct tape and lynx.

You pulled the trigger (BBQ lighter) which ignited the cloud of lynx in the tube and sent a huge fireball wherever you aimed it.

It would engulf the flies in flame and vaporize their wings instantaneously - they would crash to the earth on fire like a downed aircraft.

Actually come to think about it Im happy enough with that one :P

Ever read the wasp factory by Iain Banks?

Probably the most disturbing things I did as a child were after I was (foolishly) allowed to buy a .22 air rifle over in Scotland and bring it home on the ferry.

There was only so long we were gonna be shooting tin cans after all..

The best was where I would lay in wait on the top of the garage, for sometimes quite a long time, waiting for my brothers to get home, and then sniping them out of nowhere.

The grim pleasure I took from lining them up in the crosshairs and tracking them as they walked in waiting for the perfect moment to fire..

Yeah.. bit weird looking back alright!

Chancer3001

I can remember when I was about 4 I had a day where I decided to question everything I knew.

First off I was like, shoes? Fvck them. I don't need shoes. Went for a stroll in the field next door. Feet covered in cow sh1t after about a minute.

Then I needed to pee. I'd seen friends etc pee against the wall. I was like, why the hell would I bother walking all the way to the wall.

So, pee pee out, peeing as I walked around the field.

A neighbour walked by and told me to stop and then told my mother.

C0ck out, feet covered in cow sh1t I must have been some sight!!!

SouthTippBass

I carved my sisters initials into the new table to try and get her in trouble. It didn't work.

westernfrenzy

When I was 7 I wiped my shít on a bathroom wall in school.

Renegade Mechanic

SouthTippBass wrote: »

I carved my sisters initials into the new table to try and get her in trouble. It didn't work.

Well if she was six months old it bloody well wouldn't, would it?:D

SouthTippBass

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Well if she was six months old it bloody well wouldn't, would it?:D

Ah, I was about 8 I think, her maybe 6.

RustDaz

i used to swallow tadpoles for dares. the smell of my farts after were horrific.

larrlin24

When my friends and I (male and female) were about 6 or 7, we used to pee into random things with everyone watching. Buckets, sinks etc. We did this all the time until we were caught and given out to. Not sure what the hell was going on in our minds tbh :eek:

Hellrazer

This thread is brilliant.Heres some of mine.Right little bastards we were.

We used to smear dog sh1t everywhere. Door handles of cars,door handles of shops,shopping trolleys etc.

Used to lift man hole covers and put shotgun cartridges on the lip and then slam the cover down.Much better than any firework you can buy.

Another time we all pretended to be monkeys up in these huge trees outside a bingo hall.So theres about 6 of us in these trees making monkey noises and we kept it going for weeks every bingo night.Ramped it up a bit and started throwing banana skins,peanut shells down from the trees(you couldn't see us from the ground they were that tall)
Any way this is going on for weeks and we were the talk of the place--monkes escaped and all that until one of the lads took it too far and started pissing on the old women from the tree.Had to put a stop to it after the garda started searching for the escaped monkeys.

Another time one of the lads wanted an upside down cross branded on his arm--Slayer and all that crap so we gathered up about 50 boxes of matches and scraped all the sulphur off them. Mixed the powdered sulphur with petrol so it was like paste. We then painted it on to this lads arm in the shape of the aforementioned upside down cross and lit it.It went up like a napalm bomb on his arm and the smell of burning flesh lives with me to this day--mind you he still got his upside down cross!!!

Another time we diverted the traffic from a really busy main road into a cul de sac by making a slalom with all these cones that were out for road works.It took 3-4 hours for that one to be sorted.There must have been 50 cars in this tiny little cul de sac.

Oh yeah when the first pound coins came out we hilti nailed a few of them outside a shopping centre and filmed people trying to pick them up with our new camcorders. That was funny watching people trying everything to get them off the ground.

Pumpkinseeds

When I was about 9 or 10 I hit my little brother so hard on the arse with a horse whip that it broke the whip. Can't remember why but I'll never forget his scream:(

DEFTLEFTHAND

I think we've all savagely beaten our siblings at one point, my brother and I had many a bloody brawl. Being older I'd usually get the better of him and looking back probably went overboard at times. I'm a quiet person and tend to bottle a lot in, so when I explode it's red mist stuff

My sister was a right tough nut in her day also, very easy to rise but by god would she make you pay for it.

Birneybau

RustDaz wrote: »

i used to swallow tadpoles for dares. the smell of my farts after were horrific.

Hahahahaha!

HerrScheisse

A creative bunch we were, fashioning Y-shaped catapults out of metal coat hangers, the handle wrapped up with brown packing tape for sturdiness. The A-Team had nothing on us.

There was a bunch of kids playing football quite far away, and we decided it would be a great test to see if we could hit one of them. There was no malice, it was purely a challenge of accuracy as far as I can remember.

As they were so far away, the trajectory did not work, the stones always falling to earth before reaching them. I had the bright idea of firing upwards, such that we could catch them on the downward stroke. We were quite busy, as it is hard to judge range and catch a continually moving target.

It kept us busy for over an hour, each miss firing us up and motivating us further. But suddenly my stone struck true, and we were all aghast as we saw one kid fall dreadfully to his knees clutching the top of his bloodied head, and a fraction of a second later hearing the faraway thwacking sound of a well aimed pebble finding home.

That was a paddling, I can assure you.

thelad95

On my friends farm we used to make bullocks chase us until we reached an electric fence which we would roll under. The stupid bullocks would then get electrocuted. Surprised we didn't get killed

Also, we were about to set up a tightrope over a slurry pit but his Dad caught us and made me go home. I wasn't allowed back there for weeks. When I think back to what could have happened, we were so stupid.

A little more tame but we used to order pizza's on the phone and say we'd collect them in fifteen minutes but obviously we would never turn up. :cool:

beks101

katemarch wrote: »

Funniest thread I've ever seen on these forums, ah the memories!!
Chortling over every second story!

Chortle is such a glorious word.
Chortle chortle chortle.
Love it.

Hellrazer

Vito Corleone wrote: »

My friend and I would wait for the sound of traffic and then kick our ball out on the road and run away and hide. Sometimes people would stop and have to get out of their vehicle, we'd find it hilarious! When I look back I am thankful that nobody was hurt, what a stupid thing to do.

Another one comes to mind that was really really dangerous.

I never did it but one friend of mine used to get a brick and put it in a paper bag-like a chipper bag and leave it exactly in the line of traffic.

Most drivers just thought it was a paper bag and drove over it only to find themselves having driven over a brick.Surprised no one was hurt by that one.

Cerveja69

I used to put tissue into plug holes in hotels or pubs, turn the taps on and walk away. What an idiot!

Me and my sister used to sniff washing powder. It made us giggle and sneeze.

I used to get a tub of flora and eat it with a spoon.

I also used to eat raw sausages, never got sick!

Me and my sister used to push each off garages and purposely try to land in an awkward way so we'd break our legs and wouldn't have to go to school.

My poor parents

Divergent

Parents asleep. Sneak out at night.

HerrScheisse

Hellrazer wrote: »

Another one comes to mind that was really really dangerous.

I never did it but one friend of mine used to get a brick and put it in a paper bag-like a chipper bag and leave it exactly in the line of traffic.

Most drivers just thought it was a paper bag and drove over it only to find themselves having driven over a brick.Surprised no one was hurt by that one.

Lucky he was not creative enough to leave it in the cycle lane :pac:

Hellrazer

To be completely honest its not just cos your a child that you do these stupid things.You can do just as stupid things as a grown adult!!

Im in the motor trade and some of the things that went on up to just a few years back were funny.

The mechanics used to run a length of cable from a spark plug to someones tool box (all metal) and as soon as they touched the tool box they got a really nasty shock.
They used to put clingfilm or even super glue around the rim of the toilet seat-more than one person was stuck to a toilet for a while.

Used to send the apprentices on a long stand--one lad stood in a place for 5 hours.Sent another lad for air for the air compressors.They gave him two empty 25 litre drums.He came back with them full of water after carrying them a good 2 or 3 miles.

The best one I was gotten with was when it was around 28 centigrade one summer.My car was in the workshop for work.

Gave me back the car with the heating turned up full,all the knobs for adjusting it left loose so that they couldn't turn the heating down.The fuses for the windows and sunroof removed.I never spotted it until I had driven about 2 miles and was on the m50.No way of turning back so I just kept going.I was literally dripping with sweat when I got home.It was like being in an oven.
Rang when I got home and the lad that wound me up talked me through fixing everything.
Funny as anything really.

HerrScheisse

Hellrazer wrote: »

To be completely honest its not just cos your a child that you do these stupid things.You can do just as stupid things as a grown adult!!

True! But you do become more refined with more skill!

As your post proves :pac:

Renegade Mechanic

Toolbox happened to me alright, serious jolt:D. And I was caught out for the long stand during my time on a building site. But your man that stood for 5 hours needs a slap!:D

Lou.m

Vito Corleone wrote: »

Why is that?

LOL

Shakespeare's Sister

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

Do you know what you are?

Remorseful?

HerrScheisse

Like Judas, forever trying to wash innocent blood from their hands.

adam88

Red Nissan wrote: »

You've a jump start on me. I was 14 am approached by a bum who asked about the white stuff ~ WHAT ~ pushed him away and got my bus home from school.

However, the seed was planted, I experimented and actually thought I had literally pulled my little man of and he was detached. I lay frozen for ages and the 'white stuff' was seeping into the bed.

Much later that same bum accosted me as I left a bar, I'd have been maybe 19 now, so I recognized him and led him on and gave him a beating, he was never seen around bus stops after that.

I'm having a moment. I didn't understand what that story was about. Why did you best him. Sorry for being blonde

MRnotlob606

This did not happen to me but I guy I know tried to steal is mothers car to go for a spin, he crashed the car into a wall, and instead of telling her , he ripped out a load of wires and told her the car was hotwired

HerrScheisse

adam88 wrote: »

I'm having a moment. I didn't understand what that story was about. Why did you best him. Sorry for being blonde

Wait a moment, maybe that moment will pass.

Vito Corleone

Lou.m wrote: »

LOL

?