Surprises for Bride / Groom during wedding by their other half

whiskeyman

We're all too familiar with a bride or groom doing a surprise dance routine or a surprise video with some z-list celebs wishing the bride / groom well.
What is your thought on these?
Have you done or plan on doing one yourself?
What's the best / worst one you've seen at a wedding?

Personally, I find them very tacky and just a 'show off' by either party.
Would you be impressed if your bride / groom to be did something like this?

A work friend married a girl working in PR, and she put together a video of sports people saying good luck to him. It really stank of 'hey, I work in PR!! Look who I can talk to!!'.

lazygal

I was at a wedding where the bride gave the groom a signed picture and letter from some football team wishing them good luck. I didn't get the point myself. I also find personalised vows really cringey.

bee06

I think the dance routines are especially cringeworthy. There was one doing the rounds with the groom and his friends last month and it was terrible. Whatever about doing it at the wedding having them end up on the internet then just compounds the embarrassment.

Electric Sheep

I very much doubt that the other half or even most of the guests are "surprised". It usually looks like it is meant for you tube. Tacky.

Toots

I remember someone posting a link on this forum a couple of years ago, it was a YouTube video of a couple from cork doing the "surprise" dance. It was one of the worst things I've ever seen. It was fairly obvious that the bride was the driving force behind it, she was lapping it up and the groom just looked like he wanted to die.

I especially hate that bit when the "proper" first dance song stops abruptly and they're (badly) acting all surprised. It's a cross between face palm and an urge to smack them upside the head!

ABajaninCork

lazygal wrote: »

I was at a wedding where the bride gave the groom a signed picture and letter from some football team wishing them good luck. I didn't get the point myself. I also find personalised vows really cringey.

I did this for my husband when we married. He's a Man City supporter and helps to run the club here in Cork. Clearly, you're not a footie fan, so you won't get the point. All that mattered was HE got the point. And he loved it! At the time, it was an original idea, but I've seen it at lots of weddings since.

lazygal

ABajaninCork wrote: »

I did this for my husband when we married. He's a Man City supporter and helps to run the club here in Cork. Clearly, you're not a footie fan, so you won't get the point. All that mattered was HE got the point. And he loved it! At the time, it was an original idea, but I've seen it at lots of weddings since.

We got each other gifts before the wedding, but we didn't do a big presentation and show them off during the speeches like the bride with the football yoke. I didn't understand the point of it being a public presentation and I don't think not being into football makes a difference. My husband is mad about rubgy but I wouldn't feel the need to make a presentation of rugby memorabilia during our wedding day.

ABajaninCork

lazygal wrote: »

We got each other gifts before the wedding, but we didn't do a big presentation and show them off during the speeches like the bride with the football yoke. I didn't understand the point of it being a public presentation and I don't think not being into football makes a difference. My husband is mad about rubgy but I wouldn't feel the need to make a presentation of rugby memorabilia during our wedding day.

Different strokes. I gave my husband the card during the speeches. So what? No biggie. As far as I was concerned, the point was for my husband. Nobody else. Most people thought it was nice and at least it wasn't a made-up dance. That's not my cup of tea, nor are the personalised vows, TBH. But I don't understand the inverse snobbery towards them either. If you want them -fine. If you don't? That's also fine by me. I don't care either way.

My friend announced to her groom at the speeches that she was pregnant! She wanted to wait and surprise him at the wedding....everyone felt very uncomfortable, it was very weird

Lisha

[Deleted User] wrote: »

My friend announced to her groom at the speeches that she was pregnant! She wanted to wait and surprise him at the wedding....everyone felt very uncomfortable, it was very weird

Would have been brilliant though if he shouted 'but .....but you told me you were on the pill'!!!!!'


On a serious note that is a bit daft !

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

My friend announced to her groom at the speeches that she was pregnant! She wanted to wait and surprise him at the wedding....everyone felt very uncomfortable, it was very weird

Haha. I'd say the first thing he did was look around the room and realised how much further all that money they spent on the wedding could have gone :P

The Dagda

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Different strokes. I gave my husband the card during the speeches. So what? No biggie. As far as I was concerned, the point was for my husband. Nobody else. Most people thought it was nice and at least it wasn't a made-up dance. That's not my cup of tea, nor are the personalised vows, TBH. But I don't understand the inverse snobbery towards them either. If you want them -fine. If you don't? That's also fine by me. I don't care either way.

But if it was "for your husband and nobody else" why did you present it to him in front of everyone else?

ABajaninCork

The Dagda wrote: »

But if it was "for your husband and nobody else" why did you present it to him in front of everyone else?

Why don't you read what I post? The card was for him. It was from the football club. What I said was HE understood...

Toots

Lisha wrote: »

Would have been brilliant though if he shouted 'but .....but you told me you were on the pill'!!!!!'


On a serious note that is a bit daft !

I agree, 'twas a fairly risky move. With all the stress, excitement and emotion of the day to drop that bombshell at the dinner was really unfair on the poor guy. Especially if it was unexpected. What if the first thing he'd said was "oh fcuk, I thought we were going to wait a few years!!" and the bride gets all upset, he ends up looking like a wanker, and basically the whole wedding atmosphere is ruined.

ABajaninCork

Toots* wrote: »

I agree, 'twas a fairly risky move. With all the stress, excitement and emotion of the day to drop that bombshell at the dinner was really unfair on the poor guy. Especially if it was unexpected. What if the first thing he'd said was "oh fcuk, I thought we were going to wait a few years!!" and the bride gets all upset, he ends up looking like a wanker, and basically the whole wedding atmosphere is ruined.

Could've been worse - the poor guy might've choked on his beef! Personally, I would've waited until alone, but hey!

The Dagda

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Why don't you read what I post? The card was for him. It was from the football club. What I said was HE understood...

You said it was for him and nobody else yet you gave it to him in front of a room full of guests. Giving it to him in private would've been a nicer touch, but then i guess you wouldn't have gotten your applause...

ABajaninCork

The Dagda wrote: »

You said it was for him and nobody else yet you gave it to him in front of a room full of guests. Giving it to him in private would've been a nicer touch, but then you wouldn't have gotten your applause...

You seem very wound up about some card. Why does it bother you so much? I do what I do to suit ME. Not some randomer on a forum. Frankly I don't care what you think. Like I say - live and let live.

eviltwin

Its a bit show offish I think to make a big gesture in front of a room full of people. It reeks of "try and top this" to your guests. I'm a bit on the fence re the vows, I hate the "I vow to give you a footrub every week" ones but sometimes you'll hear something very personal that tells a bit about the couple and their journey to marriage which is touching.

The Dagda

ABajaninCork wrote: »

You seem very wound up about some card. Why does it bother you so much? I do what I do to suit ME. Not some randomer on a forum. Frankly I don't care what you think. Like I say - live and let live.

It's strikingly obvious that you do what you do to suit YOU. Your husband is a lucky man.

ABajaninCork

The Dagda wrote: »

It's strikingly obvious that you do what you do to suit YOU. Your husband is a lucky man.

He is! You weren't at my wedding, and you don't know me. So yeah - I don't give a flying one what some keyboard warrior with a bee in their bonnet thinks...

Peace.

December2012

Well I only go to weddings of people I like, so if they do a surprise then I'm supportive of it.

But then I don't get negative or judgy about other peoples weddings....

angeldelight

We have a few in jokes - one of which revolves around Sesame Street so I got the string quartet to play the theme tune to Sesame St while they were playing music before I arrived - I'm not sure anyone else would even have noticed. Also my husband had always wanted to sing with a live band so I arranged for the lead singer to invite him up for a few songs and told him what songs he liked singing

Toots

December2012 wrote: »

Well I only go to weddings of people I like, so if they do a surprise then I'm supportive of it.

But then I don't get negative or judgy about other peoples weddings....

Honestly I wouldn't get judgy about pretty much anything, it's their wedding so it's what they want. However, those 'surprise' dances really get on my wick. They were original 6 years or so ago, now they're just tired. If someone wants to do a 'non traditional' wedding dance, more power to them, or even combine the two, start one way and then merge into another. It's that stupid bit in the middle where they've got a record scratching sound effect and the b&g are shrugging in badly feigned confusion before launching into some hip-hop number.

Gatica

I don't see the point of surprises at a wedding. It's supposed to be about marriage and sharing the day with family and friends. I find things of surprise dance, surprise public gift, surprise band standing up in the church (like in Love Actually) is gimmicky and a bit tacky and pointless. If couples wish to do it, then fine - it's their day, but I would cringe a bit. We certainly didn't choose to do that ourselves.
I think surprising each other privately is probably more romantic and there's more scope on what's possible
We had given each other card and gift the morning of the wedding. It was private and no one knew, but then it wasn't for anyone else anyway. He got me jewellery, I got him signed framed jersey of his favourite rugby team. It never even crossed my mind that one could give that after the ceremony in front of everyone. It seemed like a private gift, that didn't involve anyone else. It also seems like one's expecting a pat on the back for it, and I'd have felt awkward doing that. I wouldn't try to get everyone watching when giving a birthday present, so why would the wedding be different...?
We did our own vows, because we didn't like the boring "to have and to hold, til death do us part" set vows. I imagine it may have been cringy for the guests, but unfortunately one can't make those vows private if people attend the ceremony.

eviltwin

December2012 wrote: »

Well I only go to weddings of people I like, so if they do a surprise then I'm supportive of it.

But then I don't get negative or judgy about other peoples weddings....

Well the op asked for opinions, its not judging someone to give an opinion.

kkcatlou

eviltwin wrote: »

Well the op asked for opinions, its not judging someone to give an opinion.

The comments did get a bit judgmental and just plain mean though!!

We were planning to do a fun dance routine for our first dance, but now you are making me rethink!! We saw one at a wedding a few years ago, and thought it was hilarious, and still is one of the highlights of any wedding we've been to. only cos the couple got totally into and got their bridal parties involved (who hated it, which added to the enjoyment).

We really can't dance, so we were thinking of taking the piss by doing an overly exaggerated bad dance to a corny song! For the laugh though, not for people to say how deadly, funny, cool we are?! We'd enjoy the cringing!! Do you really think people would hate it??

Toots

kkcatlou wrote: »

We really can't dance, so we were thinking of taking the piss by doing an overly exaggerated bad dance to a corny song! For the laugh though, not for people to say how deadly, funny, cool we are?! We'd enjoy the cringing!! Do you really think people would hate it??

That would be funny, especially if you'd be dreading doing a regular dance, it'd be something to look forward to instead of worrying about it during the dinner. It'd make a nice change from standing in the middle of the floor shuffling from one foot to the other and praying for it to end. Just for the love of all that's holy don't do the "oh no, the song's been cut off, what's happening?" bit.

FreshKnickers

kkcatlou wrote: »

Do you really think people would hate it??

Yes.

Some people will hate it, some people won't. If yourself and himself want to do it then by all means go for it. It's your wedding, it's your party. Some people will probably find it cute and others will think "Oh, now they have an audience they're going to do a big 'look at meeee!' thing" and roll their eyes.

pwurple

Ahh, i've never seen one of these dances! That's it... Everyone must do them from now on. I've only two weddings left this year, must be a dance thing at one of them, otherwise I will have missed this whole 'thing' and only have entertained mustache photobooths and random jars of sweets on a table.

The pregnancy story is hilarious.