Annoyed my kids aren't invited to my nephew's wedding.

Ocean Blue

Christian 121071 wrote: »

No, I dont think so, the rift began when my chikdren weren't invited. M two other sisters dont understand it & I havnt heard from the grooms mom. Thats not a good sign, but no more than me she can do as she pleases.

No, a decision was made by the bride and groom when the kids weren't invited. Nothing more than that. You are the one who decided to take offence without good reason and turn it into a rift.

projectgtr

Its not your day, get over it, thread closed.

I hate this crap tbh. Its a day for the bride and groom nothing else really matters they have a million and two other things to be thinking and stressing about than you, end of.

Doris300

Irish culture is shifting. Everyone and their dog used to get invites to weddings, now people want a more private affair there is mass confusion and anger from people who feel entitled to go to other people's events.

Christian 121071

Toots* wrote: »

Anyone who suspects the OP is a troll should use the report post button and let a moderator take a look, please don't drag the thread off topic.

Perhaps you can guve me an idea what a troll is. When I was a kid it was a toy with mad hair. I am getting the feeling in my case it refers to something other than my hair?

Sam Kade

Doris300 wrote: »

Irish culture is shifting. Everyone and their dog used to get invites to weddings, now people want a more private affair there is mass confusion and anger from people who feel entitled to go to other people's events.

I thought that shifted years ago, can't believe it's still going on.

Wellyd

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Perhaps you can guve me an idea what a troll is. When I was a kid it was a toy with mad hair. I am getting the feeling in my case it refers to something other than my hair?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Internet+Troll

Typer Monkey

Not one poster has agreed with your stance OP but I get the impression that's not going to give you any pause for thought. You seem determined to play the victim here no matter how ridiculous that is.

Doris300

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Perhaps you can guve me an idea what a troll is. When I was a kid it was a toy with mad hair. I am getting the feeling in my case it refers to something other than my hair?

A troll is someone who posts controversial things on the internet that are mostly untrue to cause arguments etc.

username123

This thread is just amazing. I cannot believe there are such entitled deluded selfish people in the world.

When two people get married it's THEIR day. Not yours. If you want to hold a big shindig and invite your kids to it, go ahead. When you are an invited guest at someone else's wedding you don't get a say in who goes.

It wouldn't surprise me at all if the bride deliberately did not invite your kids so that you wouldn't go yourself. You sound like someone that no one would want at their wedding.

I can't decide if it's childishness, selfishness, lack of intelligence of just complete social autism that would lead you to throw such an unreasonable strop.

In this case the bride will be better off if you two are "finished", no one needs a selfish dictator as a friend.

I think you need to grow up. Think about what this episode is teaching your children, do you want them to grow up as entitled selfish brats?

nc19

Google it....

michellie

The only children coming to my wedding is my daughter and nephew, if I invite one cousin I have to invite them all. You need to know where to draw the line.

OP you are being very unreasonable

Christian 121071

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Tbh on re-reading the OP, I don't even get the impression that your nephew's kids and your kids are really all that close. Giving your nephew dresses and your kids getting invited to kids birthday parties doesn't make them bonded deeply for life or anything!

The fact that you think four kids would only cost about a hundred quid to sit at a wedding is absolutely preposterous.

The fact that you seem to think (and love to keep mentioning) that because you apparently almost died, your kids are entitled to go to this wedding is also laughable.

Other kids are going, but your kids are the only cousins? Then, obviously, the other kids going are more closely related to the bride and groom than yours are. Their manners or their importance to you matters not.

My gawd, if anyone even dared RSVP to my wedding next year like that because I didn't invite their kids, I'd completely cut them out of my life! Talk about shameful, bitter and despicable behaviour from a grown adult!

Well I fully intend on cutting her out now. I would consider that the children are close. I love my sister and her boys so much. After bro and sisters there is only cousins. Did u nit grow up hanging out with your cousins. Im glad you think the second text to btb was dispicable. After a lifetime of smiling and taking nonsense from others, I can reassure you I have never been called despicable b4. Why do I feel so good about it. I must be truely evil!

Christian 121071

michellie wrote: »

The only children coming to my wedding is my daughter and nephew, if I invite one cousin I have to invite them all. You need to know where to draw the line.

OP you are being very unreasonable

If she included my guys that would be all the cousins going, all 5 of them. I dont think im being unreasonable. My feelings are hurt, worse, my kids feelings are hurt. Dont like that.

Wellyd

Can the mods please close this thread because irregardless of what's being said to the op they are just continuing to make themselves out to be the martyr in the situation.

Christian 121071

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Well I fully intend on cutting her out now. I would consider that the children are close. I love my sister and her boys so much. After bro and sisters there is only cousins. Did u nit grow up hanging out with your cousins. Im glad you think the second text to btb was dispicable. After a lifetime of smiling and taking nonsense from others, I can reassure you I have never been called despicable b4. Why do I feel so good about it. I must be truely evil!

Add to this, apparently, really. Great use if words.

Ocean Blue

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Well I fully intend on cutting her out now. I would consider that the children are close. I love my sister and her boys so much. After bro and sisters there is only cousins. Did u nit grow up hanging out with your cousins. Im glad you think the second text to btb was dispicable. After a lifetime of smiling and taking nonsense from others, I can reassure you I have never been called despicable b4. Why do I feel so good about it. I must be truely evil!

This is actually comical. Who gives a hoot if you hung out with cousins while growing up? It has nothing to do with wedding invites. The rest of your family have had a lucky escape from you, it's actually good that they know your true colours now. A nasty person who doesn't care about anyone else.

michellie

Christian 121071 wrote: »

If she included my guys that would be all the cousins going, all 5 of them. I dont think im being unreasonable. My feelings are hurt, worse, my kids feelings are hurt. Dont like that.

Oh stop it.

FairytaleGirl

Alright, but you 'cutting her out' because your nose is out of joint is stopping your children from having that relationship with their cousins - that's pretty despicable. Depriving your kids because you are huffing. How dare you?

Secondly, I was very close to two of my cousins growing up - seen each other every day until I went to uni at 19. I'm 26 now and guess what, I havn't seen either of them in well over a year, I certainly wouldnt expect a wedding invite! Doesnt mean I dont speak fondly of them or keep up with their lives on Facebook, but reality is, cousins are not usually lifelong friends.

eviltwin

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Well I fully intend on cutting her out now. I would consider that the children are close. I love my sister and her boys so much. After bro and sisters there is only cousins. Did u nit grow up hanging out with your cousins. Im glad you think the second text to btb was dispicable. After a lifetime of smiling and taking nonsense from others, I can reassure you I have never been called despicable b4. Why do I feel so good about it. I must be truely evil!

OP just calm down for a sec, you are being completely ridiculous. Are you really going to cut ties with her over this? What is the point of that? Its just a wedding, a year from now no one will even remember.

Afroshack

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Mo, there are no more cousins, we are it, apart from my other sisters 16 year old. Your near death exp phrase makes me a little uncomfortable. My making it back to my kids after the accident changed everything in our lives. We are grateful to have each other, tgey dont care about the material things we thought were important b4. Myself & my sisters became closer after years of being a little indifferent to each other. Also, I no longer have time for pussyfooting around how I feel, my survival cannot be minimised in any way.

It sounds like you are seriously overestimating your own importance in everyone's lives. Take it down a notch and apologise to your family. If I was related to you I'd want nothing to do with you after this childish behaviour.

Christian 121071

Ocean Blue wrote: »

This is actually comical. Who gives a hoot if you hung out with cousins while growing up? It has nothing to do with wedding invites. The rest of your family have had a lucky escape from you, it's actually good that they know your true colours now. A nasty person who doesn't care about anyone else.

You must have missed the bit where I said I love my sister & neohew so much. I might have mentioned that my four kids are my everything. Im afraud my family havnt gotten away from me. My other two sisters are upset for my kids too. The example about cousins was a question to you. I dont think you understand that in lots of families cousins are reared like brothers & sisters, and tgey feel like that about each other. My sister would def have had trouble rearing these 3 boys without mine & my mothers help. My kids are as clise to btbs kuds as any other kid going.

mystic86

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Hi ladies

men don't have an opinion? Or you just don't care about men's opinions?

username123

eviltwin wrote: »

OP just calm down for a sec, you are being completely ridiculous. Are you really going to cut ties with her over this? What is the point of that? Its just a wedding, a year from now no one will even remember.

You see for the OP, family is the most important thing. So much so, that she is happy to cut someone out, deprive her kids of knowing their cousins etc.... Over a party invite. Yes, family is clearly the most important thing.

Christian 121071

michellie wrote: »

Oh stop it.

You dont agree with me?

Wellyd

Christian 121071 wrote: »

You must have missed the bit where I said I love my sister & neohew so much

I love my brothers dogs but that doesn't mean I'd bring them to my wedding.

Also you saying your sisters feel sorry for your children. What's the chance that they are saying what you want to hear, trying to humour an overly dramatic deluded person to keep them happy?

munster87

This is laughable. Mods need to close the thread. Either a troll or absolutely deluded.

Christian 121071

mystic86 wrote: »

men don't have an opinion? Or you just don't care about men's opinions?

I doubt my nephew was involved in ANY decision for the wedding. But my husband didnt care either. Usually the way. The men that pretend to care about flowers and beef ir salmon are just trying to impress. Dont worry it'll pass.

Thin dam tablet is so small. Sorry for the misspellings, I cant b bothereď to go back and correct them.

FairytaleGirl

You are picking and choosing what to reply to here op, I've made several valid points, all of which you have ignored.

I imagine you must be like that in life too, no excuse/explanations will pacify you.

I feel confused reading your replies.I cannot understand your mindset. You are very unreasonable

Ocean Blue

Christian 121071 wrote: »

You dont agree with me?

Not a single person yet has agreed with you.

king_of_inismac

You've asked a broad spectrum of people here and they've all disagreed with you. If you chose to ignore that fact that's fine, but then don't ask for impartial advice.

We don't know the people involved but objectively it seems you are being unreasonable.

You are seeing thing solely through the lens of your near death experience and your relationship to your kids.

You sound like a very loyal and loving mother but that doesn't make your actions correct here. They weren't excluding your kids to hurt them or you. They were simply planning their wedding day in the way they want to.

Christian 121071

username123 wrote: »

You see for the OP, family is the most important thing. So much so, that she is happy to cut someone out, deprive her kids of knowing their cousins etc.... Over a party invite. Yes, family is clearly the most important thing.

Yes, im not going to bother with her any more. If she thinks being a precious snowflake fir a few hours is more important than causing problems for her mother in laws family. Ill let her off. She too will grow up and see that budgets and seating plans wernt worth it.

ShaShaBear

Wellyd wrote: »

I love my brothers dogs but that doesn't mean I'd bring them to my wedding.

Also you saying your sisters feel sorry for your children. What's the chance that they are saying what you want to hear, trying to humour an overly dramatic deluded person to keep them happy?

I dont think they said anything tbh. She let her daughter believe she was going to be a flower girl at this wedding despite knowing for a fact she would never get asked. She seems to think that all cousins are close but since her nephew is 33 and her eldest child is half that, and her youngest a quarter of that, O seriously doubt he 'hung around' with them. So, the only reason now to invite them is because his children sometimes have their second cousins over for parties and sleepovers, which makes them best buddies, and a sister and mother helping out with raising this nephew and grandson automatically entitles royalty rights to invite their own family to all and any events.

And the best part is that the bride, who isnt related to any of them, is expected to go along with all of this.

ElleEm

Christian 121071 wrote: »

I doubt my nephew was involved in ANY decision for the wedding. But my husband didnt care either. Usually the way. The men that pretend to care about flowers and beef ir salmon are just trying to impress. Dont worry it'll pass.

Thin dam tablet is so small. Sorry for the misspellings, I cant b bothereď to go back and correct them.

You don't know for sure that this wasn't your nephew's decision too. You seem to be set on his fiance being the wicked witch. You also need to realise that a 33 year old man is in charge of his own life. His mammy is unlikely to be controlling the wedding list!

I can see that you are hurt, but you are coming across as very selfish. You are willing for this small thing to cause a huge family rift, despite harping on about how important family is. You obviously have your own impression on how deep your relationship runs with your nephew, but this does not mean you can stamp your feet and get your own way.

maggiepip

To be honest OP you're not setting a good example for your kids in the way you've dealt with this. You've personalized something that should not be personalized and interpreted it as an attack and an insult against you're kids. Most people rise above disappointments over wedding invites which is usually a "numbers" reason, see the bigger picture and do not take it as a personal insult. You're management of this is training your kids to have no understanding of others and as soon as things dont go your way to cut people out of your life.

eviltwin

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Yes, im not going to bother with her any more. If she thinks being a precious snowflake fir a few hours is more important than causing problems for her mother in laws family. Ill let her off. She too will grow up and see that budgets and seating plans wernt worth it.

She is better off without you if you act this selfishly. Not one reply agrees with you. Everyone is trying to help but you're clearly only looking for people to agree with you and that's not going to happen. I've read some really self absorbed posts on boards over the years but well done OP you're takes the biscuit.

Christian 121071

FairytaleGirl wrote: »

You are picking and choosing what to reply to here op, I've made several valid points, all of which you have ignored.

I imagine you must be like that in life too, no excuse/explanations will pacify you.

I feel confused reading your replies.I cannot understand your mindset. You are very unreasonable

Apologies, I am reading all the posts but im not really seeing who I am replying to. I thought id commented on nearly every post. Ill go back over them. Look, this is how I feel. Last night I read other forums & lots if people agreed with my sentiment.

Addle

I think it's really sad when someone recovers from serious turmoil, or a life and death situation, without a positive perspective on the really important things in life.
You cutting yourself off from your sibling is your loss, not hers.
Your attitude is atrocious.

username123

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Yes, im not going to bother with her any more. If she thinks being a precious snowflake fir a few hours is more important than causing problems for her mother in laws family. Ill let her off. She too will grow up and see that budgets and seating plans wernt worth it.

Dear lord the irony is lost on you.

Let me spell it out for you. It's not the bride who is causing problems, it's you.

You speak very dismissively of the wedding, if it's so unimportant, then why are you throwing such an unholy strop?

I genuinely think you need medical assistance for mental health issues.

Afroshack

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Apologies, I am reading all the posts but im not really seeing who I am replying to. I thought id commented on nearly every post. Ill go back over them. Look, this is how I feel. Last night I read other forums & lots if people agreed with my sentiment.

There's no way that's true. Is it the weddingsonline forum? Yeah nobody agreed with you there either.

Christian 121071

FairytaleGirl wrote: »

Alright, but you 'cutting her out' because your nose is out of joint is stopping your children from having that relationship with their cousins - that's pretty despicable. Depriving your kids because you are huffing. How dare you?

Secondly, I was very close to two of my cousins growing up - seen each other every day until I went to uni at 19. I'm 26 now and guess what, I havn't seen either of them in well over a year, I certainly wouldnt expect a wedding invite! Doesnt mean I dont speak fondly of them or keep up with their lives on Facebook, but reality is, cousins are not usually lifelong friends.

Ok.

Afroshack

OP, are you going to apologise to your family? I think that's pretty much the only way you can salvage any of this. Because, I think we can all concur that if we were the bride/groom, we simply wouldn't want you there with this attitude.

You need to accept that your kids are not going to be everyone else's priority, especially at someone's wedding that they have spent a lot of money on and have planned for weeks. The only thing stopping you from going and enjoying yourself is your attitude.

So are you going to apologise to them?

Christian 121071

Afroshack wrote: »

There's no way that's true. Is it the weddingsonline forum? Yeah nobody agreed with you there either.

I didnt go to the other forum yet. Im too busy here. I speak the truth. Others thought not inviting kids to save money, get drunk freely or whatever lame reason they came up with, was, mean minded, cheap, spiteful and shortsighted. I should know. I didnt sleep at all. I read alot, it was comforting to know others got it. They weren't all parents themselves either. Good job I have nothing on today.

eviltwin

Christian 121071 wrote: »

I didnt go to the other forum yet. Im too busy here. I speak the truth. Others thought not inviting kids to save money, get drunk freely or whatever lame reason they came up with, was, mean minded, cheap, spiteful and shortsighted. I should know. I didnt sleep at all. I read alot, it was comforting to know others got it. They weren't all parents themselves either. Good job I have nothing on today.

So what if others agree, its not their wedding, its not their decision. The bride and groom have made up their mind so you either suck it up and go or decline respectfully or you don't go and be the laughing stock of the entire day.

Doris300

I think the OP is completely unaware that it's someone else's wedding

BabysCoffee

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Hi ladies, change of subject. My favourite sister's 33yo son is getting married this month. I was v involved with him as a child and now my children and his children are fairly good buddies, go to sleepovers & parties. I keep all my really nice dresses for his middle child. Great excitement in my house about big day out. My 7 yo thought she might even have a chance of being a flowergirl. (In fairness that was never going to happen as they have 2 girls 11 & 5 themselves). Along comes 2 invites to my house. Grandad who lives with me all delighted rsvp & all that. Mine, not so good. Me, just my lonley name, no plus 1, no and fried, but worst of all, not 1 of my chikdren 13,11,9 & 7. My heart fell through the floor. My eldest had told all her friends & discussed what she might wear. Two boys not too interested but assumed they were going. Like I said my 7 yo had high expectations. I sent btb a txt asking what about my children. Basically it was a no. She only wanted her 3, thank jesus for that. Her 11 year olds friend or friendz, ill have to check that, my other sisters 16 yo and a few other teenagers. My kids are hurt hurt hurt, they want to know why, what did they do, they were always nice to their children. It hurt me to see them hurt, this turned to, well that tiger that rises in you when you see someone hurt your chikdren. Needles to say I couldnt leave it at my initial rsvp, which was a no obviously. Something like as follows, It never occured to me that my children would not be welcome at your wedding, especially as 16 yo (the only other cousin that exists on grooms side) would be talking to my 13yo (these 2 girls would be fairly close, but older girl can lord it over my girl a bit). But hey, Its your day so I have to respect your decision. Have a great day. On reading it back to one of my sisters I am so disappointed with my lack of viciousness. It does nit come close to how I feel. Myself & my 4 children live a different type of life, they nearly lost me in an accident 3 years ago. I would never wißh to go to a function without them as someone suggest I do. Considering how clise I cam to losing my life, why am I letting this affect me so much.

Your attitude stinks OP. There is no reason why your children should have been invited.

You had two options.

Arrange a babysitter and attend on your own

or

RSVP that you would not be attending.

End of.

Christian 121071

username123 wrote: »

Dear lord the irony is lost on you.

Let me spell it out for you. It's not the bride who is causing problems, it's you.

You speak very dismissively of the wedding, if it's so unimportant, then why are you throwing such an unholy strop?

I genuinely think you need medical assistance for mental health issues.

No I dont agree, the wedding is important because it is my sisters boy getting married & my children expected to be going. As did my 2 sisters, havnt told grandad yet. Cant wait for his input.

Actually the irony might be wasted on you my dear.

Im glad you are able to make a mental health assessment on a wedding chat page. Hilarious.

FairytaleGirl

Christian 121071 wrote: »

Yes, im not going to bother with her any more. If she thinks being a precious snowflake fir a few hours is more important than causing problems for her mother in laws family. Ill let her off. She too will grow up and see that budgets and seating plans wernt worth it.

Clearly you havnt grown up enough to see that seating plans and budgets aren't worth it.

Also, the comment about the precious snowflake - how dare you?? IT IS HER WEDDING DAY. She is the most important person that day. Something you obviously cannot grasp.

Furthermore - 'I'm upset my CHILDREN wernt Invited to their 33yr old cousins wedding.'

Please tell me you hear how petty, bitter and childish that sounds.

Afroshack

Mods, this is going around in circles. Can we close the thread?

Lambofdave

Christian 121071 wrote: »

No I dont agree, the wedding is important because it is my sisters boy getting married & my children expected to be going. As did my 2 sisters, havnt told grandad yet. Cant wait for his input.

Actually the irony might be wasted on you my dear.

You really are intent on ruining your nephews day aren't you, if his future wife is as bad as you make out it really must take one to know one. You are going to make your nephews life miserable and he may never forgive you for that.

Christian 121071

maggiepip wrote: »

To be honest OP you're not setting a good example for your kids in the way you've dealt with this. You've personalized something that should not be personalized and interpreted it as an attack and an insult against you're kids. Most people rise above disappointments over wedding invites which is usually a "numbers" reason, see the bigger picture and do not take it as a personal insult. You're management of this is training your kids to have no understanding of others and as soon as things dont go your way to cut people out of your life.

My management of this so far is a rsvp and a text. Thats it. My kids and I arent discussing except the original. What do mean we are not going. What about my dress, why, what did we do wrong, that sort of stuff that little ones ask. Im not sharing my thoughts with them. My son said it perfectly "Ah #### 'em, dont worry about it".

They b fine, dont worry I'll get over it too, but it will be after the wedding I expect.