Help.

LegacyUser

5 weeks ago I lost my dad. He had fought long and hard against cancer. Since then things have been getting so hard.

I was always a happy, energetic person who enjoys life. I still do enjoy life, I love my partner, I love my family, I love college, I love my job, I love my past times. but I’m starting to suffer from “my nerves” as they say.

I am 23 and dad was 72.

Week 1 after his passing was “ok”, I wasn’t too bad, sad and unhappy but fine as they say.

Week 2 was similar. our home was also burgled and ransacked that week.
But say, a month or so before his passing when things began to get “ugly”, I started getting the occasional panic attack.

Now week 3 I’d started to frequently have panic attacks and I started seeing the cancer society’s counsellor. He is nice and it was good to talk and get an outside opinion on things. Got some tips on how to deal with the attacks etc. felt really good going into week 4, like things were coming right and good.

Week 4 and I’d been feeling unwell at times. Feeling very tired/ lazy groggy all the time. Heavy headed, dizzy and a little bit nervy. Now there’s good days and bad days and good hours and bad hours… it’s up and down.

Week 5 and earlier in the week I had a terrible panic attack, I vomited, really thought I was going to faint, got pins and needles down my arms which was really frightening, had to stop my car and ask for help and a nice man gave me a lift home but it was awful. Then today in work (a large tesco supermarket) I was feeling “iffy” all day, just tired, a little dis orientated and weak all day… I took some time out and sat in the canteen but continued to feel weak, then I got sick again. Said I’d come home. And here I am writing this thread.

I am sure it’s panic related and not a real sickness. I know panic attacks are in my head and I know dads death has made me very self-conscious about my own mortality but why am I getting physical symptoms of sickness? And when I can acknowledge and be at terms with all that in my head, why wont it go away?

I generally get panic attacks on my own, whilst driving usually in stopped traffic or on large empty roads. I find if I am working at a task or even reading the internet/ shopping/ watching tv etc I am fine, it’s only when my brain has idle time that I get these bad feelings. they would also come upon me in those hot, busy crowded public situations, the stereotypical type thing.

I talk to mam and my sister about it but I don’t really want to be mentioning it every time as they obviously have their own grief and stuff to be dealing with. My partner, although she always listens sort of sometimes gives the response of “sure you only work 2 days a week, how could you be tired?” only to try and buck me up and it’s a very valid point, I shouldn’t feel tired. But I do, I feel exhausted, I feel wrecked in work, I just feel like dropping down with tiredness, like I’m dragging myself around.

I’ve seen a doctor and he says physically I’m tip top, my body is in good shape and I’ve no illness to fear. The only thing I can think of is I’m not sleeping great, anywhere between 6 and 9 hours but very awake – asleep – awake – asleep, never deep sleep and when I do deep sleep, a lot of dreams about dad, a good few of which are very emotional, they leave me the same feeling as nightmares even though they are not.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I don’t want to become a recluse and I don’t want to lose my marbles but I feel unwell here. I just want my life back, I have things to do, I have such a wanting to live my life but this seems stuck in my way.
Has anyone any tips or advice please?

kerry4sam

h3lp wrote: »

5 weeks ago I lost my dad. He had fought long and hard against cancer. Since then things have been getting so hard.

I was always a happy, energetic person who enjoys life. I still do enjoy life, I love my partner, I love my family, I love college, I love my job, I love my past times. but I’m starting to suffer from “my nerves” as they say.

I am 23 and dad was 72.

Week 1 after his passing was “ok”, I wasn’t too bad, sad and unhappy but fine as they say.

Week 2 was similar. our home was also burgled and ransacked that week.
But say, a month or so before his passing when things began to get “ugly”, I started getting the occasional panic attack.

Now week 3 I’d started to frequently have panic attacks and I started seeing the cancer society’s counsellor. He is nice and it was good to talk and get an outside opinion on things. Got some tips on how to deal with the attacks etc. felt really good going into week 4, like things were coming right and good.

Week 4 and I’d been feeling unwell at times. Feeling very tired/ lazy groggy all the time. Heavy headed, dizzy and a little bit nervy. Now there’s good days and bad days and good hours and bad hours… it’s up and down.

Week 5 and earlier in the week I had a terrible panic attack, I vomited, really thought I was going to faint, got pins and needles down my arms which was really frightening, had to stop my car and ask for help and a nice man gave me a lift home but it was awful. Then today in work (a large tesco supermarket) I was feeling “iffy” all day, just tired, a little dis orientated and weak all day… I took some time out and sat in the canteen but continued to feel weak, then I got sick again. Said I’d come home. And here I am writing this thread.

I am sure it’s panic related and not a real sickness. I know panic attacks are in my head and I know dads death has made me very self-conscious about my own mortality but why am I getting physical symptoms of sickness? And when I can acknowledge and be at terms with all that in my head, why wont it go away?

I generally get panic attacks on my own, whilst driving usually in stopped traffic or on large empty roads. I find if I am working at a task or even reading the internet/ shopping/ watching tv etc I am fine, it’s only when my brain has idle time that I get these bad feelings. they would also come upon me in those hot, busy crowded public situations, the stereotypical type thing.

I talk to mam and my sister about it but I don’t really want to be mentioning it every time as they obviously have their own grief and stuff to be dealing with. My partner, although she always listens sort of sometimes gives the response of “sure you only work 2 days a week, how could you be tired?” only to try and buck me up and it’s a very valid point, I shouldn’t feel tired. But I do, I feel exhausted, I feel wrecked in work, I just feel like dropping down with tiredness, like I’m dragging myself around.

I’ve seen a doctor and he says physically I’m tip top, my body is in good shape and I’ve no illness to fear. The only thing I can think of is I’m not sleeping great, anywhere between 6 and 9 hours but very awake – asleep – awake – asleep, never deep sleep and when I do deep sleep, a lot of dreams about dad, a good few of which are very emotional, they leave me the same feeling as nightmares even though they are not.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I don’t want to become a recluse and I don’t want to lose my marbles but I feel unwell here. I just want my life back, I have things to do, I have such a wanting to live my life but this seems stuck in my way.
Has anyone any tips or advice please?

** ~~~ **

Oh wow man I am sorry to read your post here. It's been a few days since you have posted it, I wonder/Hope you have had at least ONE good nights' sleep!

* One thing you say that stood out to me is that you don't want to be a recluse:
~ When someone begins to panic hormones tend to elevate. Have you an Exercise Regime that could help. Regular exercise uses up naturally produced adrenaline and so can help lessen panic attacks.
^^ Just one suggestion

~ Have you tried meditation or other relaxation techniques? What do you do to relax aside from taking deep breaths and re-gaining composure?
^^^ I tend to cycle when I get tensed up as it helps me de-stress & un-wind for example

Speaking with a counsellor could assist you no end though. They would be able through time and talk, help you understand better the reasoning and causes and find alternative ways to assist.

* You also said you don't want to keep mentioning it to your family, but you should try. Being able to speak openly will help you and could also be helping them knowing someone else is going through a very difficult period in their lives and can understand.

* When your brain has this idle time, distract it by thinking positive. Think of the varying positive aspects of your life; all the good times you & your Dad shared; all the wonderful times that lie ahead of you; think of the Very Happy & Positive ways you could be/find Happiness.

The above suggestions by me should be done in conjunction with speaking with someone when it is prolonged (imo).

My own Loving Dad passed away almost 7-months ago now and sleep for me for the main part is okay. Some nights I don't sleep at all (also due to a back injury) and go into work with no sleep. Other days I get a few hours, broken sleep. For the main part though it has got un-believably easier to sleep and I worry & get anxious less & less as time progresses.
For me at this stage:
~ I have changed so much that it's even obvious to me!
~ I am getting in more exercise and strengthening up both physically & emotionally!
~ I am getting more adventurous again with my outings and activities

My Late Loving Dad could NOT have done any more for me throughout our time together. I just feel blessed & real lucky to have had such a Wonderful Role-Model in my Life for so long & that helps me also

I am putting the above down to time.
It was on the 5-month marker that I commenced my #100happydays journey (see here) on facebook and I am using that to challenge myself to reach new limits; to visit new areas; to try new activities and to just Be Happy .
It just felt right at that point for me. Not easy some days, but I do find at least one thing throughout each day that makes me happy & that gives me a lickle boost.

Hope you are doing okay & you will post back in here,
Thinking of You,
kerry4sam

KKkitty

6 years ago I lost my dad and 5 years ago I lost my mam. Think of your body as an engine for a minute. With less fuel i.e sleep its functions don't work as well as it should. Emotionally you're all over the place so with your anxiety everything builds up til you feel nauseous to the point of getting sick both inside and out. If you don't want to talk with other loved ones go to your gp and get counselling. Please take care of yourself and get the help you sorely need.