fed up in relationship.

pctech24

Hey guys I am just looking for some advice. I'm in a relationship the best part of 2.5/3 years on/off but more on than off and at the moment I'm just fed up with it. Its not that I don't find her attractive and don't love her it's just I am fed up with how the relationship is going. The only time I seem to see herself is when I am collecting her from or bringing her to work. There is no sex, passion, romance or communication. I seem to be blamed on everything when it is me who does nothing but try make her happy. There is an age gap , I'm 26 she's 20 but lately it's just not for me,all I hear is stories from work like I want a girlfriend not someone I pick up from work or bring to work and the duration of the car ride is work related stories. Has anyone else experienced a relationship go like this, any advice, thanks in advance

rcarroll

sounds more like a taxi service

bee06

Have you talked to her about this problem? Have you tried to make plans to go on dates, take a weekend away etc? After so long together it's very easy to get into a routine and unless someone breaks the cycle it will just continue.

pctech24

bee06 wrote: »

Have you talked to her about this problem? Have you tried to make plans to go on dates, take a weekend away etc? After so long together it's very easy to get into a routine and unless someone breaks the cycle it will just continue.

It always ends in a row in which I am invariable to blame :-/ Like I am supposed to be this romantic guy when I get nothing in return, It's hard to be romantic to someone you have a dreadful relationship with

bee06

pctech24 wrote: »

It always ends in a row in which I am invariable to blame :-/ Like I am supposed to be this romantic guy when I get nothing in return, It's hard to be romantic to someone you have a dreadful relationship with

You should break up with her so. You shouldn't have to take all the romantic responsibility on yourself, a relationship is 50/50. To be honest, it doesn't sound much like a relationship anymore if you describe it as dreadful and she is treating you like a taxi service.

woodchuck

pctech24 wrote: »

Hey guys I am just looking for some advice. I'm in a relationship the best part of 2.5/3 years on/off but more on than off and at the moment I'm just fed up with it. Its not that I don't find her attractive and don't love her it's just I am fed up with how the relationship is going. The only time I seem to see herself is when I am collecting her from or bringing her to work. There is no sex, passion, romance or communication. I seem to be blamed on everything when it is me who does nothing but try make her happy. There is an age gap , I'm 26 she's 20 but lately it's just not for me,all I hear is stories from work like I want a girlfriend not someone I pick up from work or bring to work and the duration of the car ride is work related stories. Has anyone else experienced a relationship go like this, any advice, thanks in advance

So how exactly is this a relationship!?

If you're not happy, either try to work things out with her or break it off...

mrty

Sounds like you know exactly what you need to do. You did mention lack of communication though so I would have a good long talk with her, sooner rather than later. Good luck man.

pctech24

pctech24 wrote: »

It always ends in a row in which I am invariable to blame :-/ Like I am supposed to be this romantic guy when I get nothing in return, It's hard to be romantic to someone you have a dreadful relationship with

Maybe change the tact on these coversations. Do not go in talking about the problems in the relationship and how to fix them or who is to blame for them or where anything is going wrong.

Instead sit down and write out - I know it might feel silly but do it, actually write it out - what you want from this relationship and see if she will do the same.

Then come together in a POSITIVE way rather than a NEGATIVE way and ask each other "These are the things I want from this relationship - do you think we can realize them and if so how?"

Too many conversations in relationships go awry because they start off negative - "I am not happy because....." - while so many would benefit from coming at it the other way of "This would be so much better if we could............."

LegacyUser

Yep. Very very similar. Similar ages and age gap. Similar feelings and I couldn't seem to do anything right.

Let it go on way longer than I should. Bottled it up and didn't reach out to people for help/opinions. New inside it needed to end though. Even wanted it to end but still loved her.

Ended up getting dumped for another guy. That bit hurt. A lot at the time. Wouldn't recommend leaving a relationship like this go on. Needs to be dealt with head on.

Merkin

mrty wrote: »

Sounds like you know exactly what you need to do. You did mention lack of communication though so I would have a good long talk with her, sooner rather than later. Good luck man.

I wouldn't bother with a long talk. Tell her she's dumped and she'll have to find her own way to work in future. There's no talking to some people so I wouldn't bother with a heart to heart.

Paddycrumlinman

All withdrawals and no deposits are what break banks. You don't need this crap my friend.

Thomas D

No sex = no relationship

Stavro Mueller

I'm doing the math here (as the Americans would say) so you're together since she was 17 or 18? People often change a lot in those years so she might not be the person she was when you got together. It looks like she's staying with you out of convenience and habit rather than anything else.

MugMugs

pctech24 wrote: »

Hey guys I am just looking for some advice. I'm in a relationship the best part of 2.5/3 years on/off but more on than off and at the moment I'm just fed up with it. Its not that I don't find her attractive and don't love her it's just I am fed up with how the relationship is going. The only time I seem to see herself is when I am collecting her from or bringing her to work. There is no sex, passion, romance or communication. I seem to be blamed on everything when it is me who does nothing but try make her happy. There is an age gap , I'm 26 she's 20 but lately it's just not for me,all I hear is stories from work like I want a girlfriend not someone I pick up from work or bring to work and the duration of the car ride is work related stories. Has anyone else experienced a relationship go like this, any advice, thanks in advance

I once went out with a stunning girl. Absolutely beautiful and sound out to add to it however all she talked about was sandwiches. She made them in her job and quite frankly and as shallow as I was,, I did the best thing for us both I ditched her (in a very cowardly way which I regret) and we're great friends since.

She's a young girl op. I think you might be hitting different parts of your lives op.