Difficulty in finding Mr.Right -back dating!

charliebrown77

I have recently come out of 6 year relationship someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with but unfortunately this was not the case. This took sometime to get over with and " get back on the horse". I am now ready to meet someone and spend my time with. Most of my friends are married and have commitments to children etc. So I have do not have many " wingmen" I am putting effort into my personal life so I am trying online dating to see how this goes. I have been on one or two dates but no one has caught my eye.

I have recently turned 37 and have panicked that I may miss the opportunity to meet that someone special and have a family Something I yearn for in my life..

It is so very daunting trying to meet someone " normal " and not with a different agenda. I often wonder is all the good one's taken at my age...

The pub scene is so difficult to try and chat and get to meet someone..

Is there other avenues I should try? .. am I panicking over nothing..

S

Merkin

How long ago did you come put of your long term relationship?

CaraMay

I think you have to forget about your age as putting yourself under pressure about meeting Mr Right as soon as possible may lead you to making bad decisions.

The best thing to do is keep an open mind and be 'out there' but don't make it your mission to meet someone. It may or it may not happen and you need to accept both scenarios and be in the (unlikely) place where if you don't meet someone you will still be happy with the life you have built for yourself.

Accept all invites - even to coffee and on the nights you want to sit on the sofa as you never know where or when you will meet someone. By all accounts do continue with the internet dating but don't take it too seriously or over invest in it.

I think its about being open to a new (healthy) relationship while making a good life for yourself just in case 'he' doesn't show up.

charliebrown77

Merkin wrote: »

How long ago did you come put of your long term relationship?

Our relationship ended some months back.. Keep going eh?

charliebrown77

Thanks for the advise.. Your right! Keep an open mind. I should really put my age to the back of my mind. It was just that age was never something I had paid much attention to.. only until my relationship broke down and you have to start again..

Then it's the pressure of others asking " any children? , married yet? I sometimes want to run away from these q's ? ...

Tilikum

charliebrown77 wrote: »

Thanks for the advise.. Your right! Keep an open mind. I should really put my age to the back of my mind. It was just that age was never something I had paid much attention to.. only until my relationship broke down and you have to start again..

Then it's the pressure of others asking " any children? , married yet? I sometimes want to run away from these q's ? ...

9 months ago I met the sweetest, most amazing girl I've ever met.

I'm 37.

You'll met someone too.

CaraMay

charliebrown77 wrote: »

Thanks for the advise.. Your right! Keep an open mind. I should really put my age to the back of my mind. It was just that age was never something I had paid much attention to.. only until my relationship broke down and you have to start again..

Then it's the pressure of others asking " any children? , married yet? I sometimes want to run away from these q's ? ...

You can't avoid those questions. Look at the threads in the bereavement forum where widows and widowers are asked how their spouses died. Ignorant people ask stupid questions all the time. That's life.

I would rather answer those questions than rush and be with the wrong person.

charliebrown77

That is life I know... I understand that there is people out there been asked uneasy q's ! Being stronger in those situations is something I will work on... I feel that it becomes a nosey question..or statement people.. Stating ..You should be snapped up by now?! Why?
I could not settle for someone for the sake of being in a relationship .. And I nearly did as I could not face the hurt and anguish that comes with it. A weak side of me..
Keep peddling on eh!

dellas1979

Dont be putting so much pressure on yourself charlie!

You should be out there enjoying yourself and not worrying what other people think/say. Youll drive yourself demented otherwise.

You sound like a nice guy - Im sure when the time is right, youll meet someone (for the right reasons-not just cause you feel you should be in a relationship). Till then, enjoy yourself!!

mrty

charliebrown77 wrote: »

I have recently come out of 6 year relationship someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with but unfortunately this was not the case. This took sometime to get over with and " get back on the horse". I am now ready to meet someone and spend my time with. Most of my friends are married and have commitments to children etc. So I have do not have many " wingmen" I am putting effort into my personal life so I am trying online dating to see how this goes. I have been on one or two dates but no one has caught my eye.

I have recently turned 37 and have panicked that I may miss the opportunity to meet that someone special and have a family Something I yearn for in my life..

It is so very daunting trying to meet someone " normal " and not with a different agenda. I often wonder is all the good one's taken at my age...

The pub scene is so difficult to try and chat and get to meet someone..

Is there other avenues I should try? .. am I panicking over nothing..

S

I wish you luck Charlie, I'm 38 relationship ended a few months back. Its fairly daunting I know but as someone else said don't focus on your age. I'm giving advice here and truth be told I'm panicking myself a bit. But hey there's plenty of single thirty something's out there so keep the faith as they say.

charliebrown77

Thank you dellas1979,

Isn't that hard not to worry what people think to say.. Your are right I should not worry. I sometimes do drive myself demented..over thinking situations.. Unfortunately this society we all live in has us feeling a little pressurised sometimes.. Guess it's not healthy..

Whats for you should not pass you ..and all that..

An Bhanríon

Do not panic!

I was 35 when I met my fiancé. He was 45. Before then I often wondered if I would ever meet somebody I would like to marry. My fiancé had pretty much decided he had had enough of relationships when he met me.

People turn up in your life sometimes that you never expect. I always thought because of my age I would have to compromise and stay with someone who was just 'okay'. My fiancé thought there was no point in getting his heart broken again by getting into a relationship. And, hey presto, our paths crossed. The rest is history. Every day I delight at this amazing man who came into my life. Better late than never!

charliebrown77

mrty wrote: »

I wish you luck Charlie, I'm 38 relationship ended a few months back. Its fairly daunting I know but as someone else said don't focus on your age. I'm giving advice here and truth be told I'm panicking myself a bit. But hey there's plenty of single thirty something's out there so keep the faith as they say.

Hi Mrty,

Thank you for the advise.. I wish you luck too.


I will keep the faith... You never know..

charliebrown77

An Bhanríon wrote: »

Do not panic!

I was 35 when I met my fiancé. He was 45. Before then I often wondered if I would ever meet somebody I would like to marry. My fiancé had pretty much decided he had had enough of relationships when he met me.

People turn up in your life sometimes that you never expect. I always thought because of my age I would have to compromise and stay with someone who was just 'okay'. My fiancé thought there was no point in getting his heart broken again by getting into a relationship. And, hey presto, our paths crossed. The rest is history. Every day I delight at this amazing man who came into my life. Better late than never!

Wow.. what a really nice story An Bhanrion
Thank you for your reply. things do happen for a reason and as you said " People turn up in your life sometimes that you never expect " I shall think of your words of wisdom when this happens....

I should be happy to wait and meet someone I fall in love with rather than settling for someone who is just "okay" .

Thanks and I wish you the very best for the future..

I will see how this path works out..

Babooshka

charliebrown77 wrote: »

Thanks for the advise.. Your right! Keep an open mind. I should really put my age to the back of my mind. It was just that age was never something I had paid much attention to.. only until my relationship broke down and you have to start again..

Then it's the pressure of others asking " any children? , married yet? I sometimes want to run away from these q's ? ...

Seriously, it's only a-holes who care about the answers to those questions...why do you care? I didn't meet mister right myself until 35 and am now over 40 and we're newlyweds...will I have a child? your guess is as good as mine, I don't know. But I'm not gonna stress about it because a child will be a bonus and if we don't have one, more money for holidays and being good to ourselves. There's more to life, if you focus on getting yourself into a happy enough place, you'll find someone to share your life with.

logic

I think you are panicking over nothing. I'm 37 and not long out of a 10 year relationship. I'm thinking that if I meet someone, they will have to be really special as there is no way I would want to be in a relationship just for the sake of it. I would rather be on my own.

I wouldn't put too much effort trying to meet some one, like they say it always happens when your not expecting it. Like buses, when you don't need one, four pass by

Try and put your frame of mind in to "If I am never going to meet anyone, what do I want to do with my life instead?" You don't need a partner to make you happy.