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Mothers bringing boys into the ladies toilets

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    #32
    Lisha
    Registered Users Posts: 8,693 ✭✭✭Lisha


    FactCheck wrote: »
    The potential concerns with a public toilet aren't limited to random sex attacks - for example, some public toilets might have issues with junkies shooting up inside.

    Does everything have to get made into a gender thing? A previous poster has already said that fathers worry about sending their small daughters in alone too.


    IMHO this applies to both parents when they are with the opposite gender child.

    I know one guy with 3 daughters, he takes them swimming often. It bugs him that there is no family room available.

    Likewise one woman I know with sons would prefer a family room when swimming do she could ensure her boys are fully dry before they dress.

    IMHO these facilities need a family type option where either gender parents can be with their children.
    Putting the nappy changing facilities in the disabled use toilets is unfair IMHO if it possibly prevents a disabled person from using it when they need to.


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    #33
    twowheelsonly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭twowheelsonly


    whupdedo wrote: »
    And what happens if someone with a disability is inside in the toilet before you, who do you blame then, do you write to management to complain about the lack of facilities,

    It's a disabled equipped toilet, not a toilet specifically for the for the disabled

    If there's another disabled person using the toilets then that's just bad luck and it does happen occasionally I'm sure.

    Chances are that if there's a disabled toilet then there's regular toilets in close proximity so why don't you just use them ?
    Is it laziness, selfishness, or some form of self importance on your behalf ?


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    #34
    ct5amr2ig1nfhp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,019 ✭✭✭ct5amr2ig1nfhp


    +1! And it really p*sses me off that a lot of the time the baby changing facilities are in the ladies toilets. :mad:
    Lisha wrote: »
    In that case Most disabled toilet should not have nappy changing facilities In them so.
    It always bugs me that nappy changing facilities are in disabled toilets for the reasons you outlined above.


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    #35
    evolving_doors
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭evolving_doors


    whupdedo wrote: »
    And what happens if someone with a disability is inside in the toilet before you, who do you blame then, do you write to management to complain about the lack of facilities,

    It's a disabled equipped toilet, not a toilet specifically for the for the disabled

    Ah here, if that was the logic, you could also say it's a disability equipped parking space, not a parking space specifically for the disabled. The implication of the signs is that you leave it free for the person designated on the sign. Its not as if the sign is saying "we recommend the occupant should ideally be disabled/man/woman whatever". You go where you are supposed to go .. except in the case with kids as genders can be mixed (dad with daughter etc).
    I dunno, once I see an adult with a kid and acting normally (as long as they are not looking like teenagers!) then it doesnt nother me what the hell they do.
    Its similar to a woman breastfeeding a five year old! a bit out of the 'norm' but hey, still nothing to do with me.


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    #36
    folbotcar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 472 ✭✭folbotcar


    I once saw a Father bring his young daughter into the gents. That is far more problematic than the other way round. But sometimes you have no choice. Either that or use the disabled toilet.

    As for the original question. The Mother is ridiculously over protective. She is doing him no favours either. He should be well able go by himself now. My five year old tries to send me away when he needs to go. But obviously he's a bit too independent and it's just too soon
    .
    Some people need a dose of common sense.

    On the other hand doesn't this perfectly illustrate our ridiculous prudishness on the whole topic? Other countries have a far more relaxed attitude to what after all natural function.


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    #37
    Barely There
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭Barely There


    folbotcar wrote: »
    I once saw a Father bring his young daughter into the gents.

    My God - really?


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    #38
    evolving_doors
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭evolving_doors


    folbotcar wrote: »
    I once saw a Father bring his young daughter into the gents. That is far more problematic than the other way round. But sometimes you have no choice. Either that or use the disabled toilet.


    Why?

    I mean everything takes place in cubicles in the ladies anyway. i was that very father recently. Daughter used to going with mammy so when I took her she insisted on going to the ladies (as she is a lady!!!). Went to the cubicle, came out, washed hands.. apologies to anyone I discomforted for being male..

    Anyway, Why the insinuation that because I'm a man I'm automatically a perv (not to mention I'm actually too busy with my kid to be peeping under cubicles!)... Of course nobody would bat an eyelid if a woman brought her son into the mens!

    The last point ...On the other hand doesn't this perfectly illustrate our ridiculous prudishness on the whole topic? Other countries have a far more relaxed attitude to what after all natural function....contradicts your point above.


    folbotcar wrote: »
    As for the original question. The Mother is ridiculously over protective. She is doing him no favours either. He should be well able go by himself now. My five year old tries to send me away when he needs to go. But obviously he's a bit too independent and it's just too soon
    .
    Some people need a dose of common sense.

    And here-in lies the problem... we are making judgements on other peoples families and their habits. Let's face it, all families do things differently and we could nit-pick on anyones rearing habits till the cows come home.. but be in no doubt, our own are just as nit-pickable.


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    #39
    evolving_doors
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭evolving_doors


    Barely There wrote: »
    My God - really?

    NEWS HEADLINES: Father Brings Girl to Girl's Toilet.


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    #40
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    My dad used to bring me into the men's... Don't see the problem tbh...


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    #41
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    We're talking about rooms filled with bowls that you put your excrement in. I've never understood why the flavour of genetalia your're packing matters for this. I think a mother escorting a ten year old to the toilet is pretty odd though.


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    #42
    Zulu
    Registered Users Posts: 10,965 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    This thread saddens me.


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    #43
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,764 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    FactCheck wrote: »
    The potential concerns with a public toilet aren't limited to random sex attacks - for example, some public toilets might have issues with junkies shooting up inside.

    Does everything have to get made into a gender thing? A previous poster has already said that fathers worry about sending their small daughters in alone too.
    +1 to this. It should be pointed out and kept in mind that not all public toilets are equal, there is a huge difference between an attended public toilet in a nice shopping center like Jervis or Cleerys compared to the toilets in Bus Aras or Easons on O'Connell Street.


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    #44
    farmchoice
    Registered Users Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭farmchoice


    riffmongous wrote: »
    +1 to this. It should be pointed out and kept in mind that not all public toilets are equal, there is a huge difference between an attended public toilet in a nice shopping center like Jervis or Cleerys compared to the toilets in Bus Aras or Easons on O'Connell Street.

    Ah here, i wouldn't let my mother go into the toilets in bus Aras on her own let alone my child. I don't like going into them myself and i'm 38 years old man and 6 foot 2.


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    #45
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    The only issue I would have with my son who is 4 is that he might lock himself in and not be able to get back out again. My daughter did that once when she was younger and I wouldn't want to go through that again. For that reason I take him into the women's loo with me but when he is old enough to lock and unlock the doors himself he can go on his own. The thought of a man abusing him would never even enter my head, I know it happens but you can't live your life in fear either and that is not something I want to pass onto my kids.


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    #46
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,764 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    farmchoice wrote: »
    Ah here, i wouldn't let my mother go into the toilets in bus Aras on her own let alone my child. I don't like going into them myself and i'm 38 years old man and 6 foot 2.
    Exactly and there are plenty more places like that too. In fairness to Easons I dont think it's so bad anymore, but years ago I saw cubicles covered in blood on a few occasions.


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    #47
    Das Kitty
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 17,231 Mod ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    Until my youngfella can reach the taps to wash his hands by himself, I'll be bringing him to the ladies'. And putting my poor back out.

    If I had a daughter, I'd expect my husband would bring her to the gents' for the same reason.


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    #48
    evolving_doors
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭evolving_doors


    Das Kitty wrote: »
    Until my youngfella can reach the taps to wash his hands by himself, I'll be bringing him to the ladies'. And putting my poor back out.

    If I had a daughter, I'd expect my husband would bring her to the gents' for the same reason.

    Couldn't he equally bring her to the Ladies if she asked...after all she is a girl?

    I think it's arbitrary if you go where the child wants to go, or, you go where you usually go.


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    #49
    Das Kitty
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 17,231 Mod ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    Armelodie wrote: »
    Couldn't he equally bring her to the Ladies if she asked...after all she is a girl?

    I think it's arbitrary if you go where the child wants to go, or, you go where you usually go.

    He's more comfortable going to the gents himself. In my experience a four year old doesn't give a fig which one.


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    #50
    Chattastrophe!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,284 ✭✭✭Chattastrophe!


    Armelodie wrote: »
    Couldn't he equally bring her to the Ladies if she asked...after all she is a girl?

    Well, no!

    I'd feel odd if there was a lad in the ladies toilets. Girls are generally quite relaxed and comfortable in ladies toilets, putting on deodorant and makeup etc in the open areas .. OK around other ladies and kids of either sex ... but a guy standing there, it would just be weird!

    Equally I imagine men wouldn't mind kids of either sex running around, but wouldn't be that comfortable with a woman standing there while they're peeing!


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    #51
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    Chattastrophe! wrote: »
    Well, no!

    I'd feel odd if there was a lad in the ladies toilets. Girls are generally quite relaxed and comfortable in ladies toilets, putting on deodorant and makeup etc in the open areas .. OK around other ladies and kids of either sex ... but a guy standing there, it would just be weird!

    Equally I imagine men wouldn't mind kids of either sex running around, but wouldn't be that comfortable with a woman standing there while they're peeing!

    Couldn't care less if there were men or women around. If anything having kids running around the place would be more likely to make me feel uncomfortable when I'm stood there with my lad in my hand. :eek:


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    #52
    Barely There
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭Barely There


    Armelodie wrote: »
    Couldn't he equally bring her to the Ladies if she asked...after all she is a girl?

    I think it's arbitrary if you go where the child wants to go, or, you go where you usually go.

    Bringing a 4 year old girl into the mens toilets if you're a man is completly different from the same man bringing the kid into the womens toilets.


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    #53
    dub_skav
    Registered Users Posts: 2,530 ✭✭✭dub_skav


    Barely There wrote: »
    Bringing a 4 year old girl into the mens toilets if you're a man is completly different from the same man bringing the kid into the womens toilets.

    Do elaborate, what would be the problem?


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    #54
    CIARAN_BOYLE
    Registered Users Posts: 14,599 ✭✭✭✭CIARAN_BOYLE


    dub_skav wrote: »
    Do elaborate, what would be the problem?

    The men use urinals wheras women do their business in cubicles.


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    #55
    Barely There
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭Barely There


    dub_skav wrote: »
    Do elaborate, what would be the problem?


    I'd imagine that some women wouldn't be happy with a random guy walking into the ladies' toilets (accompanied by a kid or not) - what do you think?


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    #56
    Wile E. Coyote
    Registered Users Posts: 1,560 ✭✭✭Wile E. Coyote


    dub_skav wrote: »
    Do elaborate, what would be the problem?

    It's a totally different scenario. The ladies toilets are private with seperate cubicles, the most you're likely to see is a woman washing her hands.


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    #57
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    I suppose we have been conditioned to see a room with the male/female icon on the door as a sacred space. I don't see the issue, personally I have seen men use the ladies because the men's was closed or just plain filthy. I don't have a problem with that. If I was stuck I'd love to do the same but its totally different when its a male loo for obvious reasons.


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    #58
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    eviltwin wrote: »
    I suppose we have been conditioned to see a room with the male/female icon on the door as a sacred space. I don't see the issue, personally I have seen men use the ladies because the men's was closed or just plain filthy. I don't have a problem with that. If I was stuck I'd love to do the same but its totally different when its a male loo for obvious reasons.

    That reminds me of one fine evening in Bison Bar, where betwixt my brisket and my second whiskey sour I discovered that I had a need to relieve myself.

    On descending the stairs I noticed that the gents' was closed and there was a paper printout with an arrow pointing to the ladies' which read "UNISEX TOILET". So off I went to the cubicle and released my previous whiskey sour, before heading back out to wash my hands where a young lady had appeared and, looking aghast exclaimed "You know this is the ladies!?"

    She wasn't angry, or particularly unpleasant about it, but it was as though it were the strangest thing she had ever witnessed to see a gentleman in the same bathroom as her.

    We're just two people washing our hands beside eachother love, it'll be okay.


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    #59
    farmchoice
    Registered Users Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭farmchoice


    Barely There wrote: »
    Bringing a 4 year old girl into the mens toilets if you're a man is completly different from the same man bringing the kid into the womens toilets.

    i agree why would a man go into the woman's toilets I should think the female patrons would get a bit of a shock to come out of a cubicle and find a grown man standing there.

    But are people here saying it's wrong for a man to bring his young daughter into the men's toilets so as to go into cubicle and use the facilities. WHY?

    What the hell do people think goes on in Men's toilets. I have been in thousands of them I should think and I seriously have never seen anything untoward. When you are using a urinal you are standing facing the wall. The person behind you can't see anything.


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    #60
    whupdedo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,513 ✭✭✭whupdedo


    twowheelsonly wrote: »
    If there's another disabled person using the toilets then that's just bad luck and it does happen occasionally I'm sure.

    Chances are that if there's a disabled toilet then there's regular toilets in close proximity so why don't you just use them ?
    Is it laziness, selfishness, or some form of self importance on your behalf ?

    I seldom use them, but in motorway service stations the toilets can be rank enough, so if I get the opportunity ill use them, i don't think I'm more important that anyone else, but is a disabled person more important than me?, iff the toilet is available ill use it, I've never been met outside the door of 1 with a disapproving look from somebody in a wheelchair either


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    #61
    byhookorbycrook
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 12,498 Mod ✭✭✭✭byhookorbycrook


    whupdedo wrote: »
    And what happens if someone with a disability is inside in the toilet before you, who do you blame then, do you write to management to complain about the lack of facilities,

    It's a disabled equipped toilet, not a toilet specifically for the for the disabled
    Says who?


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