Primary school memories...

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Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

Knocking one out to miss.doherty at lunch time.

I hope to god that was in secondary school.... :pac:

Duggy747

I used to wear glasses and one time a classmate wanted to see my glasses case.

I handed it to him and he fiddled about with it for a few seconds before, as if he had planned it, projectiled vomited all over the place and filled the case up with his breakfast.

I thought it was hilarious at the time as everyone in the class was screaming and he was crying trying to hand me back my vomit-flooded glasses case in between bouts of more vomiting.

---

Another time a friend had a toy formula one car, one that you'd reverse and let go. Anyways, he was flying it through the air and drove it over another friend's head where it got caught in his hair and he couldn't get it out.

He thought rewinding the wheels would help but that just chewed the friend's hair up even more to which he was screaming crying and started running away with a formula one car stuck to the side of his head.

It was pretty much like this scene

The teacher ended up cutting it out which left him with a bald spot :pac:

_Whimsical_

1st class memory, I was around 6.
Coming into school one morning after a windy night to find loads of tiny dead birds lying on the path beneath the trees outside our class . Going into class to report the awful news and then a stampede as everyone rushed out to get their very own dead bird. I'm not sure if we thought we were rescuing them or what but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Little girls wrapping then is toilet paper, putting them in their pockets, their lunch boxes as if they were cute
teddy bears.
Then later the wild and hysterical reaction of our teacher on finding a class of six year olds all clutching dead birds.
She made us all get rid of them outside and washed our hands with a domestos soaked rag.
Some sneaky people had managed to keep theirs undetected in lunch boxes etc and we're very smug at break time.

Right Turn Clyde

My worst memory of primary school was when I got into a bit of a slagging match with an older kid. We were throwing harmless crap at each other, but then he said "why don't you go home and give your mother some more?" That really heated things up and I didn't know how to handle it. My reply? The exact same sentence, word for word. "Why don't you go home and give your mother some more?" It was humiliating. Everyone felt embarrassed. A schoolyard full of kids face-palming, before they even knew what face-palming was.

Ruu

Left over wallpaper to cover the schoolbooks (wood chip was the style at the time), Mr.Brick the inspector who used to come along every once in a while, the banger of a schoolbus we had. It eventually died one winter morning, exhaust fell off about half a mile from school. Not far off this yellow CIE bus.

HugsiePie

Moving from abroad and being expected by teachers to ask to go to the toilet in Irish.......like geez louise my first week in the school and I was with 1 teacher for 10 minutes trying to get me to say a phrase I had never heard before in my life.....I just wanted a wee :P :rolleyes:

Wompa1

Lots of beating. In my first school in Mayo, my high infants teacher hit us. Moved to a school in Galway for 1st and 2nd class. Two of the nuns beat us. Some with a bamboo stick. Moved into an all boys school after 2nd class up until secondary school. Teacher beat us there too.

One positive, we all grouped together and everybody was friends. We all had a common enemy

Lia_lia

HugsiePie wrote: »

Moving from abroad and being expected by teachers to ask to go to the toilet in Irish.......like geez louise my first week in the school and I was with 1 teacher for 10 minutes trying to get me to say a phrase I had never heard before in my life.....I just wanted a wee :P :rolleyes:

Haha stop! I came from France and hadn't a word of Irish. Actually got really good at it by the end if primary school. Then it went to sh*t in secondary school.

I remember when I first came over from France I was kissing all the kids. Because that's what French kids do. Of course they were all disgusted by it and I had to have a "talk" with the teacher and my Mother.

OneArt

Worker's strikes turning into riots in the local capital. School was closed into a state of emergency, some of the older kids started telling us that they would storm the gates and cut off our heads, cue all the younger kids freaking out. On the flipside, my class had been incubating chicken eggs and they hatched. Came home with a little black chicken that followed me around, was delighted after all that.

First time in an Irish primary school, the teacher tells me we usually do prayers in the morning. I thought it'd be just a quick Hail Mary. Turned out to be a significant decade of the rosary including prayers of thanks and this whole "weeping and wailing in the Valley of Tears" nonsense. Creeped the hell out of me.

I had a weird childhood.

Badly Drunk Boy

There was one teacher in my school who I had for 2 years, and everyone in other classes hated having to bring a message to her class because she always made them say it in Irish. It was great because she didn't really force the people in her class that much about speaking Irish, but we'd get to see others squirm as they tried to get the cúpla focal out.

cloud493

I'm fairly sure I was one of the weird kids in primary school, it makes me cringe now

I remember, we went to london for a school trip, we had a new priest who was very into 'cool' stuff, and we were supposed to stay half way there, and eat, the school was providing packed lunches, you know the ones with a disgusting sandwich, biscuit, crisps, carton of juice. Some lads supposedly, so they said, took the lunches out before we left, so we stopped at the service station, everyone got out, no lunches :pac: they ended up organising us (about 60 kids) into KFC to get a kids meal.

On that same trip, we were staying in a hostel, and this other kid had 'smuggled' 5 bottles of ginger beer with him, and said it was really alcoholic and we'd get really drunk off it. Ended up with the priest saying he was gonna have to sleep in our room with us to keep us out of trouble, amazing how I didn't see anything dodgy in that but there you go.

One time, in year 5 I think, the teacher had this box on her desk, not a cool box, but it had like, £7 in pounds coins in it, which is a lot in that time, and this bloke nicked it off the desk, took the money out, and left the tin on the desk. Teacher comes in, sees the tin, takes it, and asks him where the money is. He says 'what money' she makes him turn his pockets, and he swears blind the £7 is his, and not from the tin :pac:



As for my own weird contributions

- cried when I couldn't join the chess club
- Used to randomly smash my head on the desk
- Smashed my head open and broke my arm on the way to the library
- Used to deliberately fart so we'd have to be allowed to go outside.
- Said 'sod off' to the priest after hearing it on the foyle family, christ was my arse red afterwards :mad:




Turned out that priest (the one I said sod off, not the other one) was guilty of child molestation charges, as he'd been taking kids from my school and other schools up to yorkshire for the weekend for years, and doing.... stuff up there. And I used to beg to go

holystungun9

Don't really no why but I refused to wear underwear up until the age of 10 or 11.

The day a new girl(from Scotland) came to the school coincided with the day I split my pants.

Our teacher was at the top of the class introducing her and as I was in the front desk she caught sight of my bits.

Looking back it's funny cause I can remember her shocked face and her covering her mouth( don't go there boardsies) but she just went on with the intro and we all got back to our art work

Maphisto

I left primary school in 1969 and have never felt any desire to return. I remember being scared witless most of the time.

There's a couple of smells that take me back there in a flash. That sweaty kid / stale food / milky smell that all schools seem to have. The other is pine sawdust. The caretaker would go around with a big bucket of pine sawdust and use it to cover up the results of any kids puking up.

I hated school dinners. There was no choice. Everyone had them. They were awful. The dinner ladies would make you finish your meal. I remember one kid made a dart for the swill bin and triumphantly emptied his plate. The dinner ladies made him finish his dinner from the swill bin, in floods of tears. Probably where all the puke came from.

Times were not as child protection focused as now. I remember one teacher a Miss G. She always wore short mini skirts and always seemed to be reaching up for something high up giving the class a view of her knickers. At the time we all giggled but looking back she must have known. If only from the cool draft

Miss G used to take the boys swimming to the local pool and would be walking around the changing rooms - checking us out I suppose.

Girls and boys used to do PE together in their underwear. There was no equipment it was just a weird sort of dancing around interpretation thing. Got my first glimpse of a fanny when Jackie M had a wardrobe malfunction

Funny times

cloud493

holystungun9 wrote: »

Don't really no why but I refused to wear underwear up until the age of 10 or 11.

The day a new girl(from Scotland) came to the school coincided with the day I split my pants.

Our teacher was at the top of the class introducing her and as I was in the front desk she caught sight of my bits.

Looking back it's funny cause I can remember her shocked face and her covering her mouth( don't go there boardsies) but she just went on with the intro and we all got back to our art work

You must have reeked something fierce :pac:

takamichinoku

Someone stealing the kitkat from my lunchbox on my first day of school and being too afraid to tell anyone.

Found a half to almost full can of beer (or some other yellow liquid) at the back wall of the school. My parents were teetotallers so I thought this was some incredibly unusual thing to stumble across. Kept it hidden and told all my friends that I was after finding a full can of beer but they weren't allowed see it. After a few days of being asked to show it, I let one kid see it during break and he almost immediately told everyone so at lunch time this one guy with ADHD ran out to it and poured the whole thing over his face.

Had an eraser that was mint scented for whatever reason at the start of fifth class. Was showing my friends to see if they could figure out why and one of them ate it.

Being completely bemused as all of my friends in sixth class spent every lunch time running rings around the school making revving noises pretending to be 206's and whatnot.

Thinking I was poorer than everyone else.

Old mental priests visiting and taking up half the day to rant about what a shower of pricks we all were.

Being called gayboy quite a lot from 1st class onwards.

Having to clean the school up for 1-2 hours at the end of each day.


...I was laughing a bit at these when I started posting them, but I just realised primary school f*cking sucked!

magicmushroom

Drawing a line down the side of the paper the width of the ruler before writing out stuff. Once it was done and certified as 'neat enough' we were allowed to decorate it by drawing little pictures in the ruled off area.
Then the best ones would get mounted on red cardboard and go up on the wall in the corridor.

The PRIDE in getting something up there - you were like a celebrity for the week.

I remember once when I was about 5 or 6 a girl asked me if I liked our teacher Mrs Graceson - I confessed I didn't - the little bitch said OMG I'm telling! I'm telling!
I nearly pee'd myself with fear.
Then tried to backtrack by saying 'I was playing a game where Yes means No and No means Yes!' She bought it, thank God...

magicmushroom

takamichinoku wrote: »

Found half an almost full can of beer

Lol

swimming in a sea

when i was in baby infants I took a piss outside, as i was the far end of the football pitches so I did not fancy the big walk(little legs), a guy in senior infants grassed me up to the headmaster and off I went for my first trip to the headmaster(do they still say headmaster?).. I was told off for doing it, I should have got a medal for not pissing myself like half the class was doing..

Ya so biggest other memory is the amount of kids that smelled of piss, they must have pissed the bed but mothers just dried them up and sent them off to school, with the water charges now it could get worse, mothers won't be able to afford washing their serial bed wetters.

magicmushroom

Kumbaya my Lord, Kumbaya

Being changed to Cucumber whilst we sniggered into our hymn books thinking how rebelious and creative we were

takamichinoku

magicmushroom wrote: »

Lol

Sorted!

Lia_lia

In primary school in France we had a "sieste" in the afternoon. We took out beds and mattresses and went for a nap. I was after coming from play-school in England (I went to lots of schools) and thought going for a nap in school was bizarre so I was allowed go out in the garden and play on my own for an hour

Our lunch was pretty cool there. We got about an hour, probably more, for lunch. We had a 3 course cooked meal in a big dining hall, was mad!

snaphook

Getting a half day when Cork won an All Ireland.

The Lord Mayor coming to visit.

Beano

Spring Onion wrote: »

Small half pint cartons of milk...often gone off.

cartons? you're only a youngfella. They had the tiny little glass bottles in my day. They had a layer of cream on top of the milk. delish. If you were the person in charge of giving out the milk to the class you were in a position of great power. If there was somebody you didnt like you gave them their milk last so it had a chance to go warm.

snaphook

One I always remember was the school sports days in June.

I was in 6th class and the day involved a sort of decathlon where a variety of events were completed and points were given for where you placed. A trophy was given to the overall winner.

I was well ahead coming into the final race. A mile run, 4 laps around the school.
It was the first time I used a race strategy, where I stayed on the heels of the pace maker for all but the last 200m. I was expected to win but instead of taking off like a hare, the strategy worked beautifully. Coming into the final 200m I sprinted away to glorious victory.

It was probably in hindsight the last day of primary school, but I'll always remember that moment.

Beano

cloud493 wrote: »

...
- Used to deliberately fart so we'd have to be allowed to go outside.
...

what sort of obnoxious fumes were you producing that required the whole room to be cleared?

Aglomerado

I spent a couple of years in a 150 year old school building which my father, grandfather and great-grandfather also went to. We were upstairs - the downstairs bit was the Parish Hall. We used to throw each other's school bags over the banisters. You were fúcked if there was a banana in yours. I had a history book that had mangled banana sticking the pages together.

The newer school I went to had boys' and girls' toilets beside each other. The doors used to open back against the dividing wall and it must have been a stud wall because over time the door handles knocked through the wall at the same point, leaving a hole which we could peep through at the boys... It used to get plastered over every now and again but the door handles would keep knocking through.

Being left behind when the principal (a wagon) took most of the class to the next village to practice singing for the confirmation (which was done together with the next parishes schools). Just me and a group of boys she didn't like, including her own nephew. We had a great day, unsupervised, going through her desk for test answers etc.

A group of boys in sixth class taking turns to go to the toilet, like a relay team. I found out after school that there was a lit cigarette in the toilet and they were all going out for a puff.

Sometimes the boiler would break down in the school and if it was cold enough we would be sent home. At other times an elderly teacher would make us run laps of the school to warm ourselves up, while she sat at her desk with a cup of tea and her knitting.

KungPao

In about 5th class, two lads were found *ahem* doing stuff in the jacks together. Never knew exactly, but it was obvious from the teacher's reaction is was something a bit shocking. It was awkward talking to the lads after that, trying not to comment on it.

alroley

Just remembered this one.... When I was in senior infants I didn't want to practice handwriting so I hid my copy in the toy oven and then acted all surprised when someone found it.

Fat Christy

I hated primary school with a fiery passion. The only perk was rolling down the hill repeatedly at lunch time.

fathead82

I went to a small country primary school with about 40 students, we had to wear slippers in the classroom,we werent allowed wear our shoes in there at all. Is that normal? did anyone else have to do that?

Have lots of fond memories of being made stand with my nose in the corner at the back of the classroom or when we all got in trouble for sticking wet balls of toilet roll to the ceiling in the toilets,you'd swear we were after murdering someone the way she screamed at us.

Aglomerado

fathead82 wrote: »

I went to a small country primary school with about 40 students, we had to wear slippers in the classroom,we werent allowed wear our shoes in there at all. Is that normal? did anyone else have to do that?

Yes; my primary school was exactly the same.

I don't think the teacher wore slippers though. They probably would have clashed with her sleeveless Aran cardigan and pleated plaid skirt...

hairybelly

The "special" kid was always assigned the various jobs.

Answering the school phone.
Ringing the bell
Delivering the milk


...I was that special kid.

holystungun9

cloud493 wrote: »

You must have reeked something fierce :pac:

I'm sure I was fresh as a daisy* at all times.





*the daisies we kept with all the other dead flowers and leaves left on the nature table


Jeez, that bloody table was a mess when it was frog spawn season.

_Whimsical_

Having a misunderstanding with a girl I sat beside and then being shocked and wounded to my core when her parting blow in the argument was " you are a ninny goat!!". I swallowed back tears all day until I got home and then bawled my eyes out all evening. I remember my mum telling me she probably didn't mean it and wailing back "she did!! I AM A NINNY GOAT!!".

Then going back to friends as usual with her next day and forgetting ninnygoat-gate.

Being a sensitive child was a bloody curse.

cloud493

Beano wrote: »

what sort of obnoxious fumes were you producing that required the whole room to be cleared?

I don't know, I just know when I farted we all got to go to the playground for 10 minutes to air the room.

Beano

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Having a misunderstanding with a girl I sat beside and then being shocked and wounded to my core when her parting blow in the argument was " you are a ninny goat!!". I swallowed back tears all day until I got home and then bawled my eyes out all evening. I remember my mum telling me she probably didn't mean it and wailing back "she did!! I AM A NINNY GOAT!!".

Then going back to friends as usual with her next day and forgetting ninnygoat-gate.

Being a sensitive child was a bloody curse.

NINNY GOAT! I havent heard that phrase in yeeeeeears.

Aglomerado

Beano wrote: »

NINNY GOAT! I havent heard that phrase in yeeeeeears.

We had "Ninnyhammer".

Hazys

The time a dog came into class.

s8n

Daniel o Sullivan thinking he was a car and running around blowing raspberries (engine sound) with a ice cream stick as a speedometer

Beano

Hazys wrote: »

The time a dog came into class.

we must have been in the same class.

hairybelly

Hazys wrote: »

The time a dog came into class.

the time the cows came into our playing field

Acciaccatura

Writing plays in 3rd class and roping in my classmates to perform them. Our teacher, who was the principal, practically cancelled all lessons after big lunch just so we could perform these silly nonsensical plays.

nullzero

Fights in the playground accompanied by chants of; "A-G, A-G-R, A-G-R-O; AGRO!".

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

In 2nd class I had this female teacher, around mid thirties, who was stunning. She kept on telling me she had a crush on me and when one of my parents was down one day collecting me she was chatting to them and when I came along, she ruffled my hair and said: 'Ah here's my little crush' and my mother said: 'Oh, I think the feeling is mutual'. The 80s sure were innocent times. How I wish they weren't. Would love for her to have sped off with me to the ferry one morning saying we had to be together. I hear she's still at the school. Maybe it's not too late. She's mid sixties now though. The idea may have lost it's shine.

cloud493

Wont know till you try.

foxy farmer

Being taught by the infamous kiddie fiddler Leo Hickey. He was mad into the irish dancing and tin whistle. Would rather spend time on that than teaching religion. The principal who we nicknamed Crowbar could disable you by shaking your hand, patting you on the back or by giving you a whack on the arse.
The smell of the jax- wuugghh.
Some parents calling to the class to tackle the teachers over picking on their son. Prefabs and vermin, table tennis and pool in 6th class. The projector used for irish. Watching a video on sugar beet processing with the principal one evening because teacher had to go somewhere. Buying second hand books from the lads a year up from us and haggling over the price. Seeing our 4th class teacher driving a lorry full of pigs during a mid term break. His new name became Smell of Sh1t

StormWarrior

When my sister was at primary school she had terrible trouble wiping her own bum because her arms couldn't reach and the teacher always had to wipe it for her. She gets angry now when I remind her about that.

strobe

The yearly 'Spellaton', not sure if it was just our school or if this was an across the board thing? You'd get a 'sponsor card' and go around the neighborhood and get people to sponsor you an amount per word you spelled right. There were 100 words and people would sponsor you one or two pence per word, so if you got them all right you'd get one or two pound. One card per student with 20 spaces for people to sponsor you, unless you filled out your original and you'd have to hand it to the teacher to sign so they knew how much you were expecting to bring in. The proceeds would apparently go towards PE equipment or a computer room or some such.

Every year from first class on I used to steal a stack of the cards out of the teachers desk drawer and hit various different areas of the housing estate and fill them all, lots of lads didn't even manage to fill their one measly card but I was ****ing adorable with my blondy curly locks and big thick rimmed social welfare glasses.

Then I'd forge the results page they gave you after the test (I couldn't spell for ****) to give myself 97 out of 100 (figured a perfect score would be suspect and people would just give me the pound coins anyway rather than go digging out change) and I pocketed the majority of the money, only handing in the original card they gave me that would have 5 or 6 people sponsoring me on it.

I was so flush around that time of year. Think I made something like 400 pound one year. Used to buy a **** loads of sweets and coke and marbles and things and hand them out to the lads in the class after school. I'd change the coins for notes in the local shop and give my Ma a couple of 20's telling her I found them outside and asking did she lose some money in the front garden (she always took half and gave me half for being good, still not sure if she just genuinely thought she or my da may have actually lost it or she was just chancing her arm) and I'd keep the rest for myself to spend on various dealies that caught my fancy.

And I regret nothing.

shruikan2553

The insane amount of time being indoctrinated.

zcorpian88

When I went to primary the school we attended was sort of divided into 2 schools but was run by the same parish, we went to one school from Junior Infants to 2nd Class and the other school went from 3rd class to 6th class.

First day of 3rd class in the second school, we got this lecture of this teacher she was like a drill sergeant because she was really tall, like 6ft 5" or something and she stated "In this school you do not call us Teacher you call us Miss or Sir so I don't want to hear any of ye say Teacher,Teacher,Teacher Teacher" she said it in this sort of scary way that she would have us killed if we did it.

Our innocence died that day

We nicknamed her High Tower.