Annoying things that happen on a flight

Pherekydes

Being diverted. Happened twice to me. First time was on the way home from Tenerife to Heathrow and we diverted to Madrid. Had to swap planes due to engine failure! :eek:

Second time was on the way home from Majorca to Dublin. We ended up in Shannon due to thunderstorms over Dublin. Spent three hours in Shannon and flew on to Dublin only to land in a thunderstorm. :eek:

mudabi

When we are on final approach with the aircraft fully configured for landing, everything going well and my first officer says something that puts my mind back to the good old days...ah yeah, 24 hour sessions in Ibiza, watching the sun come up with a gang of mates. Before I know it i snap out of it and we are on the ground taxiing in and my first officer is looking at me as if I was the one who was supposed to land the aircraft.

Duggy747

Went to America 11 years ago, the in-flight movie was Far & Away with Tom Cruise and that horrible accent of his. There was some other Oirish film that was equally terrible.

On the way home, they played those 2 movies again

---

Coming home from Santa Ponza on what seemed like Con Air for children, just so many screaming and crying little punks throughout the entire flight.

I eventually managed to pass out but I woke up when we landed in Shannon to the pungent aroma of vomit and poo that was horrific along with the still screaming and crying children. Most people on the flight had their mouths covered so somebody made an awful mess somewhere, I was hungover and couldn't hack this thick hot air of arse and stomach content fumes I had to breath in.

Door opened and we were greeted with black clouds and pissing rain, holiday was well and truly over then.

---

Our flights over in America were fùcked up this year from cancelled and delayed flights due to maintenance and "We can't find our pilot".

The worst was when we were put on a small propeller plane for what was supposed to be a short flight. It had broken air conditioning and the plane refused to take off unless 6 people volunteered to leave so everyone sat there for an hour boiling inside this plane with an intense summer sun beaming through the windows.

The engines finally started and was the loudest fùckin' thing I'd ever heard, the entire plane was rattling and shaking and felt like it was held together with blu-tak. Nobody could talk because you couldn't even hear your own voice if you shouted and sweat was just dripping off me. The seats on that plane were probably rank after all of us oozing our juices into their fabric.

Felt bad for the air hostess though, she had to put up with this shìt for 3 more flights after us and she looked like she was dunked in a bath.

I knew that plane was fùcked because we got on a same model plane a week later and it didn't sound like it was chewing gear cogs while cooking everyone inside.

TeddyTedson

Turbulence. Flights are long and scary enough without the captain pressing the bell 3 times before mumbling something about seatbelts and cabin crew back to positions and all just before I was about to get that beer.

Then the plane that you've finally started to relax on after being in the air for 2 hours feels like it's about to be thrown out of the sky. I ****ing hate that.

Sir Arthur Daley

People who take a dump on the plane, flew gatwick to cork recently the plane seat belt lights were just off and they were heading for the jacks, the smell started, it was coming through the air vents it was everywhere the flight attendants starting spraying duty free perfume to mask the smell. It was pretty bad.
There is no excuse for anyone to take a beer ****e on a short flight like that, there was toilets as far as the gates.

P_1

Loud children or a malfunction of your mp3 player. A combination of the two doesn't bear thinking about.

SpaceTime

Hotfail.com wrote: »

"Milk"

I swear it was one of those little plastic UHT things and I definitely didn't take any Neurofen!

Slicemeister

When the wing falls off or someone opens the back door for a crafty fag. Grinds my gears no end.

jimmytwotimes 2013

DJs on painkillers and alcohol

old_aussie

Strumms wrote: »

The two posh auld ones who arrived on board late, carrying their designer shopping bags without a care in the world and the flight attendant who rewarded them with a smile, some sympathy and a glass of water, I arrived on time and got none of the above.

Hmmm most people

It's the squeeky wheel that gets the oil.

Not so much reclining (I can handle that) as those people who seem to believe that repeatedly pushing themselves into the back of their chair is somehow going to make it recline an extra few degrees.

People who aren't ready for security, including the inevitable dopey idiot who is like "oh really, I can't take all those cosmetics in my bag?" as if they've been asleep for the last 10 years. A simple rule: if you haven't got your **** together by the time you get to the security check - back of the queue. That would sort it our overnight and halve waiting times.

Not annoying so much as amusing - people who can't last a short haul flight without buying some unpleasant item to eat or drink.

Turbulence in the jax

Cypher_sounds

Deleted User wrote: »

Not so much reclining (I can handle that) as those people who seem to believe that repeatedly pushing themselves into the back of their chair is somehow going to make it recline an extra few degrees.

People who aren't ready for security, including the inevitable dopey idiot who is like "oh really, I can't take all those cosmetics in my bag?" as if they've been asleep for the last 10 years. A simple rule: if you haven't got your **** together by the time you get to the security check - back of the queue. That would sort it our overnight and halve waiting times.

Not annoying so much as amusing - people who can't last a short haul flight without buying some unpleasant item to eat or drink.

Turbulence in the jax

That's called diarrhea.

Mr Keek

People who use my seat back as a crutch to prop themselves up to get out of there seat.

Was sitting in front of some fat prick and every time he got up from his seat he used my seat back as a crutch to get himself out. First couple times I was OK about it, but after the third time I waited for Him, and when I felt him pulling my seat back, I pressed my recliner button. His pressure cause the seat to collapse straight back and I heard him him fall back onto to the seat like a tonne of lard.

I had a chuckle! Few of my fellow passengers found it entertaining too!

Hold the Cheez Whiz

I never, ever eat airline food and always travel with my own, so I am sympathetic to people who want to brign their own food with them onto the plane. However, people who bring hot, greasy food onto planes should be flogged. We are in an enclosed space for the next two hours - do we really need to smell your nasty McDonald's fish sandwich and fries as well? Ugh.

beta maximum

DrumSteve wrote: »

When I was flying to Canada the chap sitting beside me covered himself in a towel and masturbated for the majority of the flight...

I call BS on this.

Chancer3001

I fuking hate recliner people.

Just don't do it.

Or everybody has to do it.

Just sit down

Yeah_Right

Russian separatists with surface to air missiles annoy the ****e out of me when flying.

Aglomerado

Farting.
When Aer Lingus run out of Blaas.

Crash

Aglomerado wrote: »

Farting.
When Aer Lingus run out of Blaas.

Just remember, on a plane, you are CONTINUOUSLY being farted on. Everyones at it, non-stop, cus no one thinks you can hear them.

Dirty feckers.

*parp*

hairybelly

I think people who get mad at others reclining seats need to lighten up a bit. It's one of the most least invasive things you can do.

MagicIRL

hairybelly wrote: »

I think people who get mad at others reclining seats need to lighten up a bit. It's one of the most least invasive things you can do.

It is, by it's very nature, the definition of invasive.

mikeym

Im over 6ft and if the person in front uses the recliner im goosed for leg room.

Aglomerado

Crash wrote: »

Just remember, on a plane, you are CONTINUOUSLY being farted on. Everyones at it, non-stop, cus no one thinks you can hear them.

Dirty feckers.

*parp*

There was a bunch of young fellas on a flight back from Amsterdam a few years ago who were having a competition to see who would make the loudest/ smelliest ones. It was gross! (I laugh at it now though because I'm not smelling them anymore!)

hairybelly

When the plane lands and theres a mad rush for the exit which just resutls in everyone jam packed in the aisle for 5-10 minutes

eisenberg1

When that honey coated, coke filled condom, keeps floating up and down
in your stomach like a bubble in a spirit level...........yuck.

smurfjed

Smoking..... hate the idea of sitting for up to 8 hours with people smoking, they usually aren't too impressed when i order them not to

Lapin

The chap beside you in the suit making a point of reading his newspaper during the flight safety announcement because he wants you to think he flies so often he doesn't need to listen to it anymore.

Tosser.

pavb2

hairybelly wrote: »

I think people who get mad at others reclining seats need to lighten up a bit. It's one of the most least invasive things you can do.

Agreed they should be a bit more laid back about it

Bog Standard User

wretcheddomain wrote: »

Moronic cringe-worthy folks, usually American, who clap the pilot for doing his f*cking job!

Imagine being in the office at work and completing your daily work, as redundant as it may be 365 days a year, and having a chorus of claps every few hours to show you've done it properly. I'd leave that company for fear of going as mad as them...

...and crashing, I hate it when planes crash.

it is worse when crazy Ukrainian ruskie wannabes shot ya down

Arthur Beesley

Aglomerado wrote: »

There was a bunch of young fellas on a flight back from Amsterdam a few years ago who were having a competition to see who would make the loudest/ smelliest ones. It was gross! (I laugh at it now though because I'm not smelling them anymore!)

Did any of them accidentally graduate to a shart?

Hold the Cheez Whiz

Lapin wrote: »

The chap beside you in the suit making a point of reading his newspaper during the flight safety announcement because he wants you to think he flies so often he doesn't need to listen to it anymore.

Tosser.

You really think that people read through those announcements because they are trying to show off to the people around them? That seems like a weirdly insecure reaction, TBH.

Arthur Beesley

Lapin wrote: »

The chap beside you in the suit making a point of reading his newspaper during the flight safety announcement because he wants you to think he flies so often he doesn't need to listen to it anymore.

Tosser.

First time flyers hanging on every announcement from the flight attendants.

Aidric

Lapin wrote: »

The chap beside you in the suit making a point of reading his newspaper during the flight safety announcement because he wants you to think he flies so often he doesn't need to listen to it anymore.

Tosser.

All regular fliers feel like this.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

Passengers reading flight manuals. Makes me nervous.

Maximus Alexander

"It's 7AM and you had three hours sleep last night, but we're here to tell you that you should buy something buy something BUY SOMETHING BUY SOMETHING!!! We'll keep telling you about the crap we're selling at a volume that even your headphones can't drown out for the next two hours because everybody knows that AIRCRAFT ARE THE BEST PLACES TO SHOP!! BUY SOMETHING!!!"

Hold the Cheez Whiz

People who watch movies on their tablets or laptops and don't wear headphones.

fussyonion

Mr Keek wrote: »

People who use my seat back as a crutch to prop themselves up to get out of there seat.

Was sitting in front of some fat prick and every time he got up from his seat he used my seat back as a crutch to get himself out. First couple times I was OK about it, but after the third time I waited for Him, and when I felt him pulling my seat back, I pressed my recliner button. His pressure cause the seat to collapse straight back and I heard him him fall back onto to the seat like a tonne of lard.

I had a chuckle! Few of my fellow passengers found it entertaining too!

:pac::pac:
I can just imagine that. Hahaha. Nice one.

Dacelonid

Strumms wrote: »

The twat in front of you who insists on having their seat reclined from the second they sit down.

This happened to me on a rather long flight to Asia. I tapped them on the shoulder and asked very nicely them would they mind putting the seat back up.

They did, and I enjoyed the rest of the flight. Or as much as you can when stuck on an airplane for 11 hours.

Yamanoto

Not an onboard peeve, but being asked to dig out your boarding card when buying a packet of mints or a Twix in some WH Smith somewhere always pissed me off no end.

keeponhurling

JohnMearsheimer wrote: »

I don't like when people are practically leaning across you to look out the window then you're in the window seat.

If you take out the leaning across bit, is it rude to stare out the window if you are middle or aisle seat ?

jjbrien

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

"It's 7AM and you had three hours sleep last night, but we're here to tell you that you should buy something buy something BUY SOMETHING BUY SOMETHING!!! We'll keep telling you about the crap we're selling at a volume that even your headphones can't drown out for the next two hours because everybody knows that AIRCRAFT ARE THE BEST PLACES TO SHOP!! BUY SOMETHING!!!"

So you don't want bus tickets, smokeless cigarettes or scatchcards?

Maximus Alexander

jjbrien wrote: »

So you don't want bus tickets, smokeless cigarettes or scatchcards?

I'm not sure, you'll have to ask me again. Repeatedly. And much more loudly.

keeponhurling

Duggy747 wrote: »

Went to America 11 years ago, the in-flight movie was Far & Away with Tom Cruise and that horrible accent of his. There was some other Oirish film that was equally terrible.

On the way home, they played the same movies again

Hehe, my wife has this weird habit of not watching the best movies on the way over, to save them for the way back WTF ?!

jjbrien

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

I'm not sure, you'll have to ask me again. Repeatedly. And much more loudly.

I thought with the new nice ryanair morning flights were supposed to be quiet like ones before 9am. My recent 6am flight to Birmingham was anything but.

uck51js9zml2yt

Was in Krakow last week coming home with the family. Security made me open every bag, take out every device (milk pump and camera) and every bottle of breast milk.
Had 2 young kids with us.
Then we had to show our boarding card 4 times in 20 yards to the gate.

I'm leaving the kids at home next time:)

Whatsisname

People who spend the majority of the flight feck acting about in the over head lockers, nothing is that important that you feel the need to stand up every 10 minutes and rummage around, just sit down!!

janja

jjbrien wrote: »

When the person on front of you has a very annoying kid and wont control them.

or when the person in front of you has dandruff and keeps running their fingers through their manky hair yuk

padd b1975

Not strictly on a flight, but I like to think there's a special place in hell for those morons who bulldoze their own mothers out of the way as soon as their luggage appears on the carousel.

It's going to come around, relax the kax!!

Snake Plisken

Couple of things, I'm 6'4 and hate it when the person in front of me tries to recline their seats, I normally position my knees so that they can't push it back, hurts like hell on my knees but worth it.
Another thing is I usually fly Aer Lingus and pick my seat around row 7, but they then decide to load it from the back which is a pain what is also a pain some smart arse gimp in row z decides to put their hand luggage over your seat so not only do you have to wait to get on then there is no place to store your hand luggage except under the seat! I blame the stewards they shouldn't allow that to happen!

Ted_YNWA

People who make a mad dash to the gate as soon as boarding is announced.

Plane won't take off any quicker, especially with assigned seats, your seat will be there & plane won't take off any quicker.

Priority boarding on Ryanair, why the fook would you bother ( see above).

Idiots who are surprised you have to take out wallet/keys & take off belts before you go through security. I always have everything stuck into pocket of hand luggage/jacket pockets before I get there. Managed to skip the queue ahead of people fumbling through coins & usual pocket sh1te last week.

Am I in the minority of people who love it when there is turbalence. Breaks the boredom of the flight & fun watching peoples reactions.

People who as soon as plane touches down on runway, jump up into aisle & get there carry on down from lockers. It is going to be a good 10 minutes before we get to the gate & the doors are opened. Sit the fcuk down.