Cheapskategate aka How Not To Host Your Wedding

Milly33

Jaysus is all I have to say..Thanks so much for the update OP..I stopped Devious Maids to read haha... Sounds like they didn't give a hoot about the whole thing, just themselves on both sides if the groom knew what she was up to must make him as bad as her..I feel sorry for her that her dad was not there, for me the most important thing would be having family and friends and making sure they enjoy and most of all having my dad there if he wasn't id be heartbroken..You put up with a lot fair deuce for keeping calm and collective about it..still weak for the thread well done love it, new devious maids we could call it devious brides haha

rainbowtrout

Probably why the two of them headed off to get drunk. They knew the carnage that was ahead and decided not to have to deal with it.

The bride was right about one thing: there was cake.


EDIT: I can't believe they fcuked off after the civil ceremony and abandoned WDIC and the other bridesmaid. In all that happened that was seriously poor form.

LUZ

wow!! thanks for the update!! sounds like a totally awful day!!
i cant understand( if they were trying to get out of paying out alot of cash) why didnt they invite loads of people to the ceremony and have a really nice crowd there, seeing as thats the part that doesnt really cost alot of money. they couldve just said that on the invites and specified family meal after ceremony/no reception. saved a load of heartache. fair play for lasting the day.

An Bradán Feasa

neris wrote: »

and i thought my mates wedding last year was a farce.

Do share!

Aineoil

An Bradán Feasa wrote: »

Do share!

I second this.:D:rolleyes:

Nash Bridges

Thanks for the update WDIC, I was worried the deleted thread would be the boards equivalent of the Marie Celeste, an enormous mystery where nobody really knew what happened.

It's a bit of a sorry tale in the end however, I had assumed that it couldn't be as bad as speculated but turned out far worse.

Still a great story in any case!

Keisha07

Wow and that other bm left high and dry, wdic talk about going above and beyond putting the other poor bm up she must have been mortified, can't imagine it was pleasant being present at a family row what a terribly sad end of a friendship.

Paddy Cow

I honestly don't know how anyone could feel sorry for the bride. She is Irish and knows how Irish weddings work. As far back as when she sent out the invitations, she knew she was shafting people with the wording. She lead people to think it was a standard Irish wedding and never once let on that "reception" meant cake and karaoke. No one would've minded her having a budget wedding if they knew about it in advance. The op on numerous occasions tried to broach the subject of food with her and she brushed it off. She knew exactly what she was doing.

I feel sorry for the family. It had been speculated that maybe the apple didn't fall far from the tree but given the reaction of her family, this is not the case. It sounds like they only got wind of the deception at the last minute and were mortified/outraged. Someone said that family should stand by you no matter what and I think that was what the bride was banking on. To be honest, that is a crock. The whole point of family is that you respect them and can rely on them but don't take them for granted. If you take the p!ss, you only have yourself to blame if they flush you down the toilet.

I don't think the bride was naive to how wedding proceedings should go. After the showdown with her family, she learned absolutely nothing and the next day, not only did she get the Bm's to pay for her alcohol and fags, she had the absolute fcuking check to open wedding cards in front of her dinner guests, who she was expecting to pay for themselves and then left them in the middle of nowhere :mad:

I'm actually surprised at the restraint shown by the op. I would be livid to be treated like that. I'm livid and I'm just reading the posts!!!!

If the bride (and by the way, I'm including the groom in this because he is equally culpable) wanted a cheapo wedding, she could've saved herself and her family a lot of money and embarrassment if she went off and got married quietly and then had a party. I have a friend who did this and she loved her private wedding and at her party there was a lot more than cake and karaoke!

The bride and groom will have to live with the fallout of this wedding for many years to come and I have absolutely no sympathy for them. I get the feeling from their behaviour in the lead up to and during the wedding that they don't feel like they have done anything wrong. I feel sorry for any kids they have who will be born into their family mess

coats

Thanks to whatdoIcare and Toots for the update. I am just gobsmacked at the b and g carry on. I hope you can now enjoy the rest of the weekend, do someting nice for yourselves.

Now that all that excitement is over, back to my own wedding planning 71 days to go

rainbowtrout

Paddy Cow wrote: »

I'm actually surprised at the restraint shown by the op. I would be livid to be treated like that. I'm livid and I'm just reading the posts!!!!

Only because she suspected a lot of what was debated on the other thread last week. She was prepared for no food for the guests and to be paying for herself.


That's the other thing, there were only 12 at the meal in the end, but again people were outraged but paid up because they weren't about to start a row at the wedding, but got the minimum and got out of there as soon as possible. As WDIC said, she was hungry so just decided to give in and buy dinner. It was going to be that or have a row with the bride, or have no dinner. Most people would have just paid for dinner and I'm sure the bride and groom expected it would happen like that. Can't feel any sympathy for them after the way they've treated everyone.

Aineoil

Paddy Cow wrote: »

I
I feel sorry for the family. It had been speculated that maybe the apple didn't fall far from the tree but given the reaction of her family, this is not the case. It sounds like they only got wind of the deception at the last minute and were mortified/outraged. Someone said that family should stand by you no matter what and I think that was what the bride was banking on. To be honest, that is a crock. The whole point of family is that you respect them and can rely on them but don't take them for granted. If you take the p!ss, you only have yourself to blame if they flush you down the toilet.

I agree with you. If something is wrong it's just wrong. You can't expect your family to stand behind something that is just plainly wrong.

Pinkycharm

My weekend is now complete. Before I started teaching I used work with a wedding planner- oh my god if she ever saw this thread she would freak. Its crazy.

she could have had a lovely cheap wedding with her family included but just having karaoke and cake just sounds so wrong.

WDIC you are a saint for what you put up with and I think I can 100% say if you are EVER asked to be a bridesmaid again, it will be 1000 times better than what you have experienced.

You definitely need a night away to celebrate that being over and I would definitely have thrown the dress, the hair clip, the shoes and the bride in to the rubbish.

People will always get what they deserve---who knows---the marriage might not last that long, she might get a round 2

oblivious

Thank you for the update, I bet there was and is some phone calls going around today

Aineoil

Paddy Cow wrote: »

The bride and groom will have to live with the fallout of this wedding for many years to come and I have absolutely no sympathy for them. I get the feeling from their behaviour in the lead up to and during the wedding that they don't feel like they have done anything wrong. I feel sorry for any kids they have who will be born into their family mess

I had had the same thoughts. It's not the best way to start married life......alienating your family and "friends".

I wonder about the groom too? Did he just not care or was he complicite?

salmocab

WDIC thank you. You miss are my hero. Ring Hollywood there is a movie in this.

martinn123

My first post here, but I have been following since the start.

This was not a wedding, it was a shake down.

Invite 200 people to a reception, with zero outlay, and collect the envelopes.

I have to admire the OP for sticking with it so long, especially after being abandoned in the Car Park, I would have bailed out a week ago.

So 200 people were invited to " donate " looks like only 80 took the bait.

The Bridezillas Family recognised the scam, and pulled out.

Expect to see the B&G on a Ryanair Flight tomorrow, opening the envelopes.

Deserves, to go viral, via Facebook, Twitter, etc,

Someone will post a name, by tomorrow. ( not. On Boards ) but elsewhere.

rainbowtrout

salmocab wrote: »

WDIC thank you. You miss are my hero. Ring Hollywood there is a movie in this.

It needs a Hollywood ending. This was more Apocalypse Now.

Having said that, it was a very successful movie.

xzanti

Feel like I just found out who shot JR

That was quite a ride

Dodd

martinn123 wrote: »

My first post here, but I have been following since the start.

This was not a wedding, it was a shake down.

Invite 200 people to a reception, with zero outlay, and collect the envelopes.

I have to admire the OP for sticking with it so long, especially after being abandoned in the Car Park, I would have bailed out a week ago.

So 200 people were invited to " donate " looks like only 80 took the bait.

The Bridezillas Family recognised the scam, and pulled out.

Expect to see the B&G on a Ryanair Flight tomorrow, opening the envelopes.

Deserves, to go viral, via Facebook, Twitter, etc,

Someone will post a name, by tomorrow. ( not. On Boards ) but elsewhere.

They opened the envelopes at the dinner in front of guests.:(

Aineoil

In fairness I want to thank Wdic for this post. It's not easy being a bridesmaid. I have 4 sisters.

Slutmonkey57b

What a horrendous couple of shysters!

The bride's family bailed out when they found out what was going on... did the groom's? If not, and given the OP didn't think her friend was like this, it seems the groom is possibly the source of this thieving cheapskate behaviour?

What a horrible day.

Arbiter of Good Taste

Thanks for the update WDIC and thanks to Toots for reopening the thread.

A lot of posters have already said what I want to, so I won't repeat. Just want to add that the bride and groom sound like borderline sociopaths.

frag420

Just had to check i didn't accidentally click into the TV forum and was reading a synopsis of this weeks Eastenders!!:D

fineso.mom

The one saving grace of the day ....there were cupcakes!

FreshKnickers

I would like to add my thanks to whatdoicare for being good enough to come back to let us all know the outcome and Toots* for overseeing the madness from Day 1.

Shocking altogether. Leaving your bridesmaids and groomsmen, people who have given up their time and money to support you, stranded in a field while the two of you swan off in a car is indefensible!

Opening envelopes, taking money out and buying themselves more drink? While everyone else has paid for their own meals?! I'm imagining she didn't even bother reading the cards, just slit the envelopes and tipped 'em sideways.

And they had a band, so they can afford to hire a band but not afford dinner for, how many was it in the end? 8/10 people? And even a couple of platters of bar food?

All that's left is to hope the bride and groom are very happy together because they just might find themselves with only each other to look at for a long time.

rainbowtrout

Slutmonkey57b wrote: »

What a horrendous couple of shysters!

The bride's family bailed out when they found out what was going on... did the groom's? If not, and given the OP didn't think her friend was like this, it seems the groom is possibly the source of this thieving cheapskate behaviour?

What a horrible day.

WDIC said the groom stayed with his brother the night before the wedding so presumably he went.

I also think on the original thread she said the other bridesmaid was the groom' sister in law, I'm guessing this guys wife, she was the one that 'forgot' her purse at the hen.

No other family were mentioned. There were only 8 at the civil ceremony so it's not likely much of his family were there either.

There's definitely a pair of them in it.

athtrasna

I take it that's the last time you saw/see the Bride WDIC. She took taking the proverbial to an unimaginable level.

I had a friend, nowhere near as bad as that but someone who was always taking. I was trying to explain what she's like to someone and they described the people in our lives as drains and radiators. We need to lose the drains and keep the radiators close.

Well done you for not telling her what you think of her, doubt I could be so dignified. If I knew you I'd buy you a very large drink. You more than deserve it!

Flippyfloppy

rainbowtrout wrote: »

WDIC said the groom stayed with his brother the night before the wedding so presumably he went.

I also think on the original thread she said the other bridesmaid was the groom' sister in law, I'm guessing this guys wife, she was the one that 'forgot' her purse at the hen.

No other family were mentioned. There were only 8 at the civil ceremony so it's not likely much of his family were there either.

There's definitely a pair of them in it.

Of course there's a pair of them in it!

Who here just makes huge decisions like this without their OH?!

martinn123

frag420 wrote: »

Just had to check i didn't accidentally click into the TV forum and was reading a synopsis of this weeks Eastenders!!:D

fineso.mom wrote:

The one saving grace of the day ....

......is that I just sold the screenplay to Eastenders.....yippee...

CaraMay

I think it's all very sad really. The bride and groom seem well matched though and don't appear to care about anyone else.

Stheno

I actually think it's a very sad outcome.

The bride had little or no family with her on the day, I remember when I got married, how much I cherished my Dad walking me in that day, and how chuffed he was, he got very emotional.

That's just one aspect, but on the whole it sounds like a thoroughly miserable day, abandoned by ones family due to utter stupidity.

I'd be tempted to put the hairclip in an envelope, knock on her door, hand it to her and tell her never to treat me like that again, and that she'd let herself and her whole family down with her shabby behaviour.

It is the opposite of the sort of graceful, generous and warm celebration that a wedding should be.

Tigger99

Am I the only one who's boyfriend was very curious as to why I was obsessed by the weddings forum and this story :pac:

I spent the weekend hoping that there would be an update, think he was getting curious himself!

CaraMay

Candie wrote: »

I'd be tempted to put the hairclip in an envelope, knock on her door, hand it to her and tell her never to treat me like that again, and that she'd let herself and her whole family down with her shabby behaviour.

It is the opposite of the sort of graceful, generous and warm celebration that a wedding should be.

I have to agree - they /she should be told how upsetting and vile their behaviour was both towards family and guests.

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

CaraMay

CaraMay wrote: »

I have to agree - they /she should be told how upsetting and vile their behaviour was both towards family and guests.

I genuinely understand her family refusing to be bullied by convention into going along with what amounts to a con. She wanted maximum financial return with as little outlay as possible, regardless of who grasping it made her look or who was out of pocket.

The sheer shamelessness of it all is outrageous.

lazeedaisy

Thanks for posting the update.

It seems there are people out there who really think the world owes them, and every time I come across them, I always think it will come back on them, it never does.

Wdic respect for how you reacted, I know your other half must be very proud of you, well done.

As for the couple, if this does go viral, they will be so proud and rake in the money from the movie, and think its great.

Her parents must be feeling rather crap over how their darling daughter tried to pull the wool over their eyes, and what should have been a celebration has now turned into a family saga.

It's unfair to say apples never fall far from trees, or that families should stick together. Some people just are like that.

As for the couple, they got married, lost what friends they had and now have to try to build the rift between her parents anyway. Not an envious position to be in, but it's down to their own actions not anyone else.

They sound well suited, I can only hope that for them, the marriage works out and if there are kids at a later date, the grandparents will be there,

spygirl

I feel so sorry for her family and friends. As well as being outraged by the behavior they must have been mortified. Terribly sad all round. Really not sure what I expected the ending to be to this story. WDIC...you went above and beyond and thank you for posting the update.

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

FouxDaFaFa

The first few sentences of your update, I was tempted to feel sorry for them but it just kept getting worse and worse.

You have the patience of a saint, WDIC. Actually no, you have class and tact. Which is something the Bride and Groom lack.

They sound quite childish, are they very young? The opening of the cards at the table is like something at a kid's birthday party.

As bad as there not being food at the reception was, I think the worst thing was stranding you and the other bridesmaid after the photos. It would be bad enough if they were like "make your own way" but to not even tell you and just let you stand there, waiting? It's rare you hear of people being so self-involved.

You are well rid of them, WDIC and I'm only sorry you had to waste this much time and money on them.

Stheno

spygirl wrote: »

I feel so sorry for her family and friends. As well as being outraged by the behavior they must have been mortified. Terribly sad all round. Really not sure what I expected the ending to be to this story. WDIC...you went above and beyond and thank you for posting the update.

I would wonder if the small amount of guests at the"reception" was as a result of family telling people at the last minute?

doireann08

Stheno wrote: »

I would wonder if the small amount of guests at the"reception" was as a result of family telling people at the last minute?

+1, i would definitely say this is the case

Calmsurrender

fineso.mom wrote: »

The one saving grace of the day ....there were cupcakes!

Whole cupcakes too... She missed a trick there ...

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

doireann08

Just curious if the penny dropped at ALL for the B and groom as to what they have done. Did they just drink themselves into oblivion to block it out. I find it hard to believe that anyone could be so callous to treat friends or family in this way

Honestly, I have never heard anything like this..I am still flabbergasted

Calmsurrender

FouxDaFaFa wrote: »

As bad as there not being food at the reception was, I think the worst thing was stranding you and the other bridesmaid after the photos. It would be bad enough if they were like "make your own way" but to not even tell you and just let you stand there, waiting? It's rare you hear of people being so self-involved.

This is the part that stood out for me too... Was the bride langers on all the champagne at This point !?

emo72

How close was the op to the bride anyway? If you had a "friend" like that surely you would know what to expect.

Probably answered on the original thread but since it's deleted I can't check

Toots

Stheno wrote: »

I would wonder if the small amount of guests at the"reception" was as a result of family telling people at the last minute?

That thought occurred to me also. 200+ invited and only 80 or so show up?That's over 50% of the guests. I've never heard of a wedding with such a poor turn out. I wonder how many people RSVP'd compared to how many showed up.

I was down at my parents' house for sunday dinner this evening and I was telling them about this thread. They were completely and utterly horrified and couldn't work out why someone would have a wedding like this. I agree with people who reckon it was about the money.

I definitely think that the overall outcome is that it's really sad. The B&G will have lost a lot of friends from all this but the ones I really feel sorry for is their families because I'd say there are a lot of hurt feelings on both sides.

shewasdiesel

doireann08 wrote: »

Just curious if the penny dropped at ALL for the B and groom as to what they have done. Did they just drink themselves into oblivion to block it out. I find it hard to believe that anyone could be so callous to treat friends or family in this way

Honestly, I have never heard anything like this..I am still flabbergasted

I don't think we know the full story at all.
I suspect the B&G worked out long time ago, for whatever reason, their friends and family were not really their friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU, which is wrong as well. Two wrongs don't make a right. A sad tale all round, with no winners, and a tale no one should be taking any pleasure in.

eviltwin

Its a terrible way to treat people but no one died and it seems the relationship is over and no great loss to WDIC, all the guests will get over it. Its the family and the issues there independent of the wedding that are a real concern, hopefully they can sort them out and move on.

Things will seem a bit quieter on the wedding forum from now on :pac: