Cheapskategate aka How Not To Host Your Wedding

ardle1

Ahhhhhhhhh the joys of an alcoholics wedding.

pickarooney

ohohseven wrote: »

I've read this thread and the thread before hand and I am struggling to find what the big deal is.

Congratulations I guess?

NSAman

ohhhhhhhh no... we all suspected it and now it has happened...WDIC and toots fair play to keeping us updated.

Just one comment.. Idiots...

Have been to some low class weddings, one where the bride even said to the priest "hurry up father, I'm dyin' fer a pint".....I kid you not...but this??

Part of me was hoping that this would turn out good, but when I woke at 6 this morning in beautiful surroundings I just had to wonder what a bunch of idiots these two actually are.

You don't fight with family until the wedding is OVER...:)

fair play to WDIC no way in hell would I have put up with this treatment. Your hubby should be proud of you. Sticking with her through all this crap. Personally, I would have bailed a long time ago.

NSAman

ohohseven wrote: »

I've read this thread and the thread before hand and I am struggling to find what the big deal is.

Just a couple of questions??.... Were you drunk most of saturday? Did you wake up on sunday with a few envelopes around containing money? was there a white dress on the floor with many stains on it? were you hoarse from Karaoke??

Penny Dreadful

CaliforniaDream wrote: »

I do feel sorry for them. I understand they went about things completely wrong but it must be awful to not have your family stand by you. Friends come and go but you expect your family to support you no matter what.

There comes a time though surely when you're so disgusted by how someone is behaving that you just can't be associated with their carry on any linger?
The couple treated their family dreadfully and so reaped the rewards of that. I don't blame the family for having nothing to do with them.

fineso.mom

I can usually find an excuse/reason for people's odd behaviour. Throughout this thread I was thinking maybe the bride was strapped for cash and embarrassed to admit there would be no food. But when I read the update??!!
No matter how crass it was to open the cards at the table,,,why not just use that money to pay for the meal ? Especially when there were so few people at it ? That was it for me ,,My almost superhuman knack of seeing both sides of a story failed me at that point.

Slutmonkey57b

I'm not sure "cheap" or "tight" are the right adjectives here. There's nothing wrong with a cheap wedding if you've no money, or in not having the "traditional" Celtic tiger Irish wedding with 2000 people at a sit down meal, either. Provided you're honest.

The problem with these two is that they're disingenuous liars who treat people like dirt, care only about themselves, and wanted to make a profit from a wedding.

Scumbags.

fineso.mom

fineso.mom wrote: »

My almost superhuman knack of seeing both sides of a story failed me at that point.

Lol!

Teyla Emmagan

This is all very sad. For the sake of a few grand you have an awful day (by the sounds of it), go down in history as being a pair of Olympic level scabs and alienate most of your families. I think the B&G were trying to pull a fast one but given the fact the two of them seemed to drink their way through their own wedding weekend I don't imagine they had thought it through until there was no going back. I can't figure out if they are young and stupid, or just possessed of a neck like a jockey's bollox.

Either way you are well shot of them WDIC, may you never hear from them again!

Toots* you have been on triple time keeping this one open, thanks for your patience.

fineso.mom

Just a thought WDIC,,get your BM dress out of the bin,give it a wash,take a few pics and throw it up on eBay or better yet auction it off here on boards. I for one would bid on it, would love to wear it out some night ...."yes girls, this is the actual dress that WDIC wore to the wedding ".

auldgranny

fineso.mom wrote: »

Just a thought WDIC,,get your BM dress out of the bin,give it a wash,take a few pics and throw it up on eBay or better yet auction it off here on boards. I for one would bid on it, would love to wear it out some night ...."yes girls, this is the actual dress that WDIC wore to the wedding ".

Yes do.
You would make a fortune.

fineso.mom

fineso.mom wrote: »

Just a thought WDIC,,get your BM dress out of the bin,give it a wash,take a few pics and throw it up on eBay or better yet auction it off here on boards. I for one would bid on it, would love to wear it out some night ...."yes girls, this is the actual dress that WDIC wore to the wedding ".

Edit
And the clip,,,gotta have the clip to go with the dress.!

mikeymouse

"...... I don't think any of brides family was there and I'm not too sure was anyone but the grooms brother there but I don't know his family, so I'm just guessing."

Something not quite right with this story.
a bridesmaid not getting to know any of the grooms family at a wedding.
I had doubts about this story early on.
now I know it's all a wind-up.

Oh ,and how did the party get to the "local" park -a 15 min drive?

LordNorbury

Thanks so much for the update OP, unbelievable the way the day went. I'm wondering did she get wind of the discussion on here before the wedding day, and was leaving you totally stranded in the car park, a big deliberate "fúck you" for discussing it on here???

Yer Aul One

WDIC's OH sounds like a fairly stand up fella too!

TwoShedsJackson

mikeymouse wrote: »

"...... I don't think any of brides family was there and I'm not too sure was anyone but the grooms brother there but I don't know his family, so I'm just guessing."

Something not quite right with this story.
a bridesmaid not getting to know any of the grooms family at a wedding.
I had doubts about this story early on.
now I know it's all a wind-up.

How's she supposed to get to know them if they're not actually at the wedding?

Arbiter of Good Taste

mikeymouse wrote: »

"...... I don't think any of brides family was there and I'm not too sure was anyone but the grooms brother there but I don't know his family, so I'm just guessing."

Something not quite right with this story.
a bridesmaid not getting to know any of the grooms family at a wedding.
I had doubts about this story early on.
now I know it's all a wind-up.

Why? There's no need for bridesmaids to get to know their friend's in-laws before the wedding. My bridesmaids didn't meet my OH's family until the night before the wedding. The best man - the groom's brother - couldn't make the rehearsal dinner, so they didn't meet him until the wedding.

mikeymouse

mikeymouse wrote: »

Something not quite right with this story.
a bridesmaid not getting to know any of the grooms family at a wedding.
I had doubts about this story early on.
now I know it's all a wind-up.

My guess is that the OP isn't even THAT close with the bride, let alone her family or in-laws.
To me, it sounds like one of those friendships by default, ie. they went to school/college together, or grew up on the same street, as opposed to someone the OP actually chose to be friends with because of her personality.
The bride sounds like the kind of person who doesn't have close friends as such, so found the nice people in her life that she knew would help her out on the day.

WDIC, fair play to you for following through with it

Calmsurrender

mikeymouse wrote: »

"...... I don't think any of brides family was there and I'm not too sure was anyone but the grooms brother there but I don't know his family, so I'm just guessing."

Something not quite right with this story.
a bridesmaid not getting to know any of the grooms family at a wedding.
I had doubts about this story early on.
now I know it's all a wind-up.

Oh ,and how did the party get to the "local" park -a 15 min drive?

Yea I was curious about that how did they get to the photo venue in the one car all 6 of them and the driver.
Did the photographer just bugger off too?
Unless they were initially dropped there on the way by OHs (or the photographer) who then went on to the venue ?

The grooms family, that's pretty easy - unless they are the type of family to have huge parties for every little thing and invite everyone and anyone then its understandable they wouldn't have met each other before.
I have a friend for 10 years he's only met my brother twice - the first time was my wedding Another friend of mine would struggle to pick out my husbands sister out of a line up let alone know who aunts/cousins etc

robinph

Deleted User wrote: »

My guess is that the OP isn't even THAT close with the bride, let alone her family or in-laws.
To me, it sounds like one of those friendships by default, ie. they went to school/college together, or grew up on the same street, as opposed to someone the OP actually chose to be friends with because of her personality.
The bride sounds like the kind of person who doesn't have close friends as such, so found the nice people in her life that she knew would help her out on the day.

WDIC, fair play to you for following through with it

Nothing strange at all about not knowing the family of a best friend. All depends on where in life you know that person from as to how much, if any, interaction you may have had with the rest of their family before. Certainly no reason to expect someone to know anything about the in-laws of their friends.

Murt10

WDIC, now that the wedding is over, where did the happy couple head off to with their ill gotten gains.

An exotic all inclusive 5 star holiday, or something a bit more their style.

I also think that you should send her a letter reminding her that she agreed to pay for your wedding meal and that you would like her to send you the money for this, and also for the bottle of sparkling wine and flags that you bought her.

Now I'm sure that you are not bad enough, but if you know when and where she's flying back from the honeymoon, given her ccharacter and the fact that she is a smoker, it is inconceivable that she won't stock up on duty free flags.. I

I'm sure that customs would appreciate any intelligence that a concerned citizen would like to pass on to them.

robinph

robinph wrote: »

Nothing strange at all about not knowing the family of a best friend. All depends on where in life you know that person from as to how much, if any, interaction you may have had with the rest of their family before. Certainly no reason to expect someone to know anything about the in-laws of their friends.

Of course, but my point was that I think most brides would have their BFF as bridesmaid and very often they'd have been friends a very long time, would chat a lot, meet regularly, etc. Part of this interaction would be that they would have (even briefly) discussed the inlaws, coming up to a wedding, and have an idea of who's who, even without having met them.

In this case, the bride is being cagey about everything to do with the wedding, so I can imagine if there was family strife, she's not going to discuss amily with the OP, either.

mikeymouse

".............So, on we go, me first and then other Bm, then Bride. Hardly noone in the room, maybe eight guests including mine and the other BMs other halfs.

Ceremony went grand, 30 minute job and all smiles and everything was lovely. Photos and posing. I don't think any of brides family was there and I'm not too sure was anyone but the grooms brother there but I don't know his family, so I'm just guessing................"

So there's 8 people at the ceremony , 6 of whom you don't know,
and by the end of the day you still don't know these 6 people?

Slutmonkey57b

mikeymouse wrote: »

".............So, on we go, me first and then other Bm, then Bride. Hardly noone in the room, maybe eight guests including mine and the other BMs other halfs.

Ceremony went grand, 30 minute job and all smiles and everything was lovely. Photos and posing. I don't think any of brides family was there and I'm not too sure was anyone but the grooms brother there but I don't know his family, so I'm just guessing................"

So there's 8 people at the ceremony , 6 of whom you don't know,
and by the end of the day you still don't know these 6 people?

Perhaps you should read the first post before commenting.

mikeymouse

mikeymouse wrote: »

".............So, on we go, me first and then other Bm, then Bride. Hardly noone in the room, maybe eight guests including mine and the other BMs other halfs.

Ceremony went grand, 30 minute job and all smiles and everything was lovely. Photos and posing. I don't think any of brides family was there and I'm not too sure was anyone but the grooms brother there but I don't know his family, so I'm just guessing................"

So there's 8 people at the ceremony , 6 of whom you don't know,
and by the end of the day you still don't know these 6 people?

It's bad form to keep nitpicking and tacitly accusing someone of lying. If you don't like/believe/are sceptical of the thread, don't read it. Don't go casting shadows over someones character without proof. You presumably weren't at the wedding, she was.

Toots, as moderator, has made it clear that these posts aren't welcome.

beyondbelief67

mikeymouse wrote: »

".............So, on we go, me first and then other Bm, then Bride. Hardly noone in the room, maybe eight guests including mine and the other BMs other halfs.

Ceremony went grand, 30 minute job and all smiles and everything was lovely. Photos and posing. I don't think any of brides family was there and I'm not too sure was anyone but the grooms brother there but I don't know his family, so I'm just guessing................"

So there's 8 people at the ceremony , 6 of whom you don't know,
and by the end of the day you still don't know these 6 people?

It doesn't sound like the bride/ groom were doing the rounds introducing people, more interested in getting drunk ?
And I can imagine it was a bad atmosphere, where you'd be casting glances in directions but not inviting small talk, as you'd not know what to say so not wanting to talk at all, or that would if been me if I'd of been Wdic, if someone had tried to engage me in chat I think I'd of been needing the bathroom pretty damn quick in case the subject of food came up so not really any way to find family trees out.
And with no real sit down meal and everyone basically shell shocked you'd not have the usual intros either.

mikeymouse

Ok Slutmonkey and Candie point taken

shewasdiesel

Candie wrote: »

It's bad form to keep nitpicking and tacitly accusing someone of lying. If you don't like/believe/are sceptical of the thread, don't read it. Don't go casting shadows over someones character without proof. You presumably weren't at the wedding, she was.

Toots, as moderator, has made it clear that these posts aren't welcome.

Agreed, we don't want to hear the bride and grooms version of events or cast any shadows over their character without proof.

rainbowtrout

Deleted User wrote: »

Of course, but my point was that I think most brides would have their BFF as bridesmaid and very often they'd have been friends a very long time, would chat a lot, meet regularly, etc. Part of this interaction would be that they would have (even briefly) discussed the inlaws, coming up to a wedding, and have an idea of who's who, even without having met them.

In this case, the bride is being cagey about everything to do with the wedding, so I can imagine if there was family strife, she's not going to discuss amily with the OP, either.

The bride wouldn't even discuss the plan for the day and I think the OP had enough on her plate with having to pay for everything without worrying about the groom's family.

rainbowtrout

mikeymouse wrote: »

".............So, on we go, me first and then other Bm, then Bride. Hardly noone in the room, maybe eight guests including mine and the other BMs other halfs.

Ceremony went grand, 30 minute job and all smiles and everything was lovely. Photos and posing. I don't think any of brides family was there and I'm not too sure was anyone but the grooms brother there but I don't know his family, so I'm just guessing................"

So there's 8 people at the ceremony , 6 of whom you don't know,
and by the end of the day you still don't know these 6 people?

What's wrong with that exactly??? She walked into the civil ceremony and saw there was 6 guests there she didn't know. Do you think the bride should have stopped the ceremony to introduce those guests to the OP before the ceremony proceeded?

I'd also imagine the majority of the photos were of the bride and groom and bridal party. The guests were probably in the same position if they knew the bride and groom well enough to be invited to the civil ceremony they probably recognised that the bridesmaids weren't her sisters.

rainbowtrout

Deleted User wrote: »

Of course, but my point was that I think most brides would have their BFF as bridesmaid and very often they'd have been friends a very long time, would chat a lot, meet regularly, etc. Part of this interaction would be that they would have (even briefly) discussed the inlaws, coming up to a wedding, and have an idea of who's who, even without having met them.

In this case, the bride is being cagey about everything to do with the wedding, so I can imagine if there was family strife, she's not going to discuss amily with the OP, either.

OP did say she lives an hour away from the bride. They probably don't meet up as often as people who would live close by. It's also very easy to pass off questions about the family when the friend isn't going to meet them.

-Are the family all excited about the wedding?
-Yep, can't wait.

Who's gonna know if the bride is lying?

beyondbelief67

Also no rehearsal as a civil wedding so no time to meet them then, and I think the penny finally dropped for the family that there was no proper food/ reception when no dinner rehearsal either, so again no time to meet anyone then, plus it's usually the brides mum who would do intros as the proud matriarch and she wasn't there.

rainbowtrout

rainbowtrout wrote: »

OP did say she lives an hour away from the bride. They probably don't meet up as often as people who would live close by. It's also very easy to pass off questions about the family when the friend isn't going to meet them.

-Are the family all excited about the wedding?
-Yep, can't wait.

Who's gonna know if the bride is lying?

Sorry Rainbowtrout - I don't think I'm explaining myself properly - I actually agree with you.

I was saying that a "normal" bride would have this kind of relationship with her bridesmaid, but the bride in this story is anything but normal, so I don't think standard wedding party rules apply anyway.

...ie. trying to rationalise anyone's behaviour at THIS wedding would be a waste of time.

rainbowtrout

Deleted User wrote: »

Sorry Rainbowtrout - I don't think I'm explaining myself properly - I actually agree with you.

I was saying that a "normal" bride would have this kind of relationship with her bridesmaid, but the bride in this story is anything but normal, so I don't think standard wedding party rules apply anyway.

Neither did I. I was agreeing with you too missusj

Lucuma

fineso.mom wrote: »

Just a thought WDIC,,get your BM dress out of the bin,give it a wash,take a few pics and throw it up on eBay or better yet auction it off here on boards. I for one would bid on it, would love to wear it out some night ...."yes girls, this is the actual dress that WDIC wore to the wedding ".

OMG so true! WDIC you paid for that dress.....don't throw it away

honeygirl

Hi WDIC, Thanks for posting an update and fair play to you for staying for the day. Also do sell the dress and the hair clip.

shewasdiesel

fineso.mom wrote: »

Just a thought WDIC,,get your BM dress out of the bin,give it a wash,take a few pics and throw it up on eBay or better yet auction it off here on boards. I for one would bid on it, would love to wear it out some night ...."yes girls, this is the actual dress that WDIC wore to the wedding ".

It's true, misery loves company ! The misery and family row dress must be preserved for our enjoyment !

Oryx

Its true, that is now a famous dress. Sell it!

Tiddlypeeps

I wonder if they knew before hand that they were going to alienate everybody in their lives with this stunt, or if they believed that people would just go along with it because it's their wedding day and forget about it afterwards. It's fairly clear that their motives were do it cheap, maximise profits. But I'd love to know if they even considered if there would be any fall out because of it.

leesadin

So glad we got an update!!! Near cried when I came home Saturday and the thread was closed!! Thanks to WDIC and toots for the update!!! I feel awful for WDIC and all you went through... I'm bridesmaid for the first time next year and after reading this I don't think I can b disappointed!!!

shewasdiesel

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

I wonder if they knew before hand that they were going to alienate everybody in their lives with this stunt, or if they believed that people would just go along with it because it's their wedding day and forget about it afterwards. It's fairly clear that their motives were do it cheap, maximise profits. But I'd love to know if they even considered if there would be any fall out because of it.

I'd say they had it well worked out before the wedding certain friends and family weren't really friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU on them. Two wrongs don't make a right though. No one should be taking any pleasure in this sorry tale. Hopefully some lessons have been learned by both sides.

bucketybuck

This whole thread sounds like classic Shit-that-didn't-happen.txt.

Oryx

Its been mentioned before, but in the other thread there was a lot of messing and banter yet here its less so. I think its shock - I don't think anyone realised just how badly this wedding would go.

There are weddings that are planned badly, or where things go wrong, but this one was done in such a greedy, rude, distasteful way it is worse than any of us though it would be. I find it hard to see how anyone could have their head so firmly planted up their ass as to behave so badly . I know some say its a big FU to everyone but tbh I don't see vindictiveness in it, just complete ignorance.

retro:electro

Wdic at any point did you get the feeling that the bride or anyone at all maybe knew about this thread? I would love to know!

robinph

shewasdiesel wrote: »

I'd say they had it well worked out before the wedding certain friends and family weren't really friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU on them. Two wrongs don't make a right though. No one should be taking any pleasure in this sorry tale. Hopefully some lessons have been learned by both sides.

However much you may be annoyed with your family and friends, I can't see anyone going to the bother of messing up their own wedding as a way of getting back at them. Or if they were it would have been more elaborately planned to do so.

Just sounds like a serious lack of awareness of social norms, and not caring enough to find out what should be done or ask for help.

Michellenman

athtrasna wrote: »

I'm looking at photos on FB of a wedding at an Inn...there's a photobooth though. Can't see this B&G having forked out for that!

Hahah - thats the one i was at! Can confirm it was not the same wedding as the op, more food and drink provided than we could possibly have consumed and i doubt anyone had a bad time! But then again, the b&g and that wedding are lovely people unlike the OPs 'friend' it would seem!

rainbowtrout

robinph wrote: »

Just sounds like a serious lack of awareness of social norms, and not caring enough to find out what should be done or ask for help.

I don't think it was a lack of awareness, the bride was avoiding all questions about food. She knew exactly what she was doing. If she was unaware of it, she would have just said, 'Oh, we're not having dinner' and then maybe have been a bit taken aback when everyone had a meltdown about it.

bucketybuck

Has there been any verification that any of this is true?

Obviously names and details would be kept secret but was there anything whatsoever that pointed to this being more than just a story from one person?

eviltwin

I don't believe a word of it but it's been highly entertaining none the less