all a bit of a mess

hagoonabear

hello im a new user to boards.ie , sorry if this is in the wrong forum last Monday I went into labour I didn't even know I was pregnant I was still getting light periods etc, I Called an ambulance and found out I was having a late Miscarriage . I was nearly 5 months pregnant I had to give birth to my tiny baby boy , he lived for 18 minutes even though they said he would live less, Im so shocked and devasted that I didn't know.

I don't know how to feel about this all his funeral was friday My heart is so broke and my head is in a mess . I can't stop thinking of my little boy and I feel it was all m fault if only I knew , I just want him back so much he was so tiny and helpless he was perfectly formed .

I just wanted to get that out of the way and see if anyone else has grieved like this thank you

CaraMay

Ive no advice but just want to say I'm sorry for your loss. Could you try isands or a similar organization for assistance?

Rubberchikken

i am so sorry.
you need to speak to someone. that is such a difficult thing to have gone through.

what support do you have at home? if all else fails, speaking to your gp will help, as they can advice you about organisations that help others who have gone through what you're experiencing.

please take care of yourself.

Lisha

Hi hagoonabear,

I am so sorry for your loss.

All I can do is echo what the other posters have said and urge you to speak to someone. Isands is an organization that can help.

http://www.isands.ie

Your gp can also point you In The right direction.

Don't underestimate your sense of loss. You have been through a horrendous ordeal.

Look after yourself op and done be afraid to open up about what you've been through.

Mam of 4

Hi, first of all +1 on all the advice given above .

I'm so sorry for your loss , it really is a traumatic experience to go through. I say go through because yes, one day things will get easier , the pain will of your loss will not go , but will become easier to live with.

Don't beat yourself up thinking that if only you had known you were pregnant , there might have been a different outcome , . The pain of the enormity of your loss will ease with time , the wondering what would he look like now , the questions we can only imagine the answers to will be forever there , but will get easier to be bear.

I don't think I have any advice or words of wisdom , except to say , you are not alone. I lost my son at five and a half months into the pregnancy , perfectly formed, so fragile ,so beautiful.. Please talk to someone , professional or otherwise , it helps, it truly does.

Don't know what else to say except we're all thinking of you..