Bridezilla Stories

Neyite

Babooshka wrote: »

But wedding dresses come in so many styles these days and short ones are now very popular, this is why I would avoid even a cream or white knee length dress at all costs, if the bride showed up in a shorter length of a more simple nature and mine was close in style I would die so as a rule I just avoid cream/ivory/white dresses of any style just in case of causing any offence.

I do too, and I cant say I have ever seen a fully white dress worn by a guest at any wedding I've attended, long or short. Thats probably because though they wore white, they took care to accessorise it with other colours to avoid it looking bridal.

Oryx

Neyite wrote: »

I do too, and I cant say I have ever seen a fully white dress worn by a guest at any wedding I've attended, long or short. Thats probably because though they wore white, they took care to accessorise it with other colours to avoid it looking bridal.

Ive seen guests wear white dresses to a wedding twice. Both times the dresses were short, body con, and very striking. I presume the girls just fell in love with them in spite of the colour and in fairness they looked good. They still got tutted at by some of the matronly aunties who disapproved.

Sligo1

Babooshka wrote: »

But wedding dresses come in so many styles these days and short ones are now very popular, this is why I would avoid even a cream or white knee length dress at all costs, if the bride showed up in a shorter length of a more simple nature and mine was close in style I would die so as a rule I just avoid cream/ivory/white dresses of any style just in case of causing any offence.

I agree... And I personally wouldn't wear a fully white dress of any length to any wedding. But there are people who will... As some brides have pointed out here. Some brides obviously don't mind... But I would be annoyed at a floor length ivory/white dress at my wedding. And for those who say they would be too busy enjoying their wedding to notice... Well is be thinking those dresses worn wouldve look a lot different to the brides dress in length, style etc etc

Wabbit Ears

I dont think white or ivory is out, there are styles that just scream wedding dress and theres styles that are party dress..as long as the wearer has the cop on to know the difference all's fair IMHO..

michellie

I just feel that there are thousands of shades of colour why wear white or ivory to a wedding?

I've been to lots of weddings and seen so many women wear white and ivory, I think I would be annoyed if someone wore it to my wedding, but obviously I could feel different on the day.

Tarzana

Can't decide if I'm being a bridesmaidzilla here or not.

The facts:

- My sister's wedding is in 2.75 months.
- Had my measurements taken for my dress today, which is being made
- I'm 30 years old and 2.5 stone over my upper limit healthy weight. (gained a lot in the last year due to depression, which I am now coming out of)
- I have reached the point where I am motivated to lose weight (that point is only minimally influenced by the upcoming wedding. Is more to do with the fact that I feel at 30 I need to get cracking on losing the significant weight I've gained over the past year)
- My friend who is the dressmaker said there is some leeway for weight loss but not much. My sister has asked me to stop losing weight at about a half stone weight loss.

My view: I really don't want to just stop. To me, losing weight is way more important than a wedding, and as I'm sure some of you will relate, when you hit the moment where you feel ready to lose weight, you really just need to go for it. Now obviously, I wouldn't lose 2.5 stone by the wedding but I should be well on my way. I'm thinking of just quietly continuing to lose weight and if the dress is gapey, so be it. I feel this is too important a thing to put on hold for a wedding. This is about my health and feeling comfortable in my own skin again.

Is this a dick move on my part? And the fact that there will be plenty of pics taken on the day and that my whole family will be there and that my father's family (inc. my father) are very judgemental about weight gain is a factor too. But the dresses are going to be beautiful and the dress designer is a good friend so I don't want to be total bitch about it either. What to do?

kandr10

Tarzana wrote: »

Can't decide if I'm being a bridesmaidzilla here or not.

The facts:

- My sister's wedding is in 2.75 months.
- Had my measurements taken for my dress today, which is being made
- I'm 30 years old and 2.5 stone over my upper limit healthy weight. (gained a lot in the last year due to depression, which I am now coming out of)
- I have reached the point where I am motivated to lose weight (that point is only minimally influenced by the upcoming wedding. Is more to do with the fact that I feel at 30 I need to get cracking on losing the significant weight I've gained over the past year)
- My friend who is the dressmaker said there is some leeway for weight loss but not much. My sister has asked me to stop losing weight at about a half stone weight loss.

My view: I really don't want to just stop. To me, losing weight is way more important than a wedding, and as I'm sure some of you will relate, when you hit the moment where you feel ready to lose weight, you really just need to go for it. Now obviously, I wouldn't lose 2.5 stone by the wedding but I should be well on my way. I'm thinking of just quietly continuing to lose weight and if the dress is gapey, so be it. I feel this is too important a thing to put on hold for a wedding. This is about my health and feeling comfortable in my own skin again.

Is this a dick move on my part? And the fact that there will be plenty of pics taken on the day and that my whole family will be there and that my father's family (inc. my father) are very judgemental about weight gain is a factor too. But the dresses are going to be beautiful and the dress designer is a good friend so I don't want to be total bitch about it either. What to do?

Do what you have to do to keep healthy mentally and physically. If you are motivated go for it. Surely it would take longer than 3 months to lose 2.5 stone? I guess there's no way to predict it though. Do what you can for yourself and there'll be ways of making the dress work I'm sure if it comes to that. Your sister has no say in what weight you lose. Just don't make a big deal of flaunting it til after the wedding!

Toots

Any chance you could get the dressmaker to make the dress one size smaller than what you currently are? That way you can lose weight, and if the dress is still a bit big, it can be taken in without destroying the shape of it?

Tarzana

kandr10 wrote: »

DoSurely it would take longer than 3 months to lose 2.5 stone?

Oh definitely. I'd probably have lost about a stone by then, maybe a bit more, as a lot tends to come in the first few weeks.

Tarzana

Toots wrote: »

Any chance you could get the dressmaker to make the dress one size smaller than what you currently are? That way you can lose weight, and if the dress is still a bit big, it can be taken in without destroying the shape of it?

Yeah, that is a really good suggestion. But the dressmaker's worry is (and it's a very valid worry) is that if she makes it smaller, and I don't lose weight (I'm sure lots of people say they will lose weight and then don't), then it won't fit and she won't be able to take it out. Or she will and it'll ruin the dress. I totally understand her concern there. She'd probably have to start over at much cost to my sis. It's such a toughie.

JanaMay

I understand your dilemma but I think your sister will care more about having a happy and healthy sister who feels good on her big day than having a bridesmaid with a less-than-perfectly-fitting dress. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself healthy and happy.

Tarzana

JanaMay wrote: »

I understand your dilemma but I think your sister will care more about having a happy and healthy sister who feels good on her big day than having a bridesmaid with a less-than-perfectly-fitting dress. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself healthy and happy.

Yeah, and my feeling is she will be so happy on the day that it won't even matter. You how in the lead up to any big event, little things seem important, but you realise how little they matter on the day. Plus everyone will be looking at her gorgeous dress, not mine!

Faith

Most dresses can be taken in about 2 dress sizes. That very very roughly equates with about 20lbs. If you lost 2lbs per week consistently, you'd have lost 22lbs so it should still be okay. But more realistically, you'll lose 3-5lbs the first week, and 0.5-1lb per week after that, unless you're very strict and disciplined. So I'd say either get the dress made in your current size and work away at losing weight without putting huge pressure on yourself to get it off, or get the dress made 1 size smaller than your current size and use it as an incentive (while being aware that you really have to lose a dress size in 11 weeks now). It depends on your own attitude towards the weight loss, really.

But either way, you're not being a bridesmaidzilla by wanting to lose weight for yourself. Your health is the most important thing!

Tarzana

Thank you everyone.

I really need to stress, I don't want or expect 2.5 stone to be gone by the wedding, but there is a very real chance 1.5 stone could be. Hopefully that won't translate to a lot inches-wise.

R.D. aka MR.D

My SIL and I get on like a house on fire. We always have but in the lead up to her wedding, she turned completely bridezilla.

Normally, she is a very sensible person especially about money so her hissy fit was totally out of character for her.

She had her 2 sisters be bridesmaids and I am the only sister of my brother and it would seem that there is some tradition that I should have been asked to be bridesmaid, too. Even though I wasn't an 'official' bridesmaid she wanted me to wear a floor length dress. But I thought it would be embarrassing to wear a long dress and have people think I was a wannabe bridesmaid. I would also have no use for it after the wedding because I live abroad so it's not like i'm going to weddings or dinner dances very often!
She was so upset that I wouldn't wear a long dress.

Then to add to it, the dress that I did buy was too 'cheap'. I got a lovely dress from TKMaxx for 50e. I got my shoes of the internet for 20e. I genuinely don't believe in spending a fortune on clothes. I never have. She was so angry about it. She tried to get my mum to force me to get a longer dress and my mum said that she would pay for it. She asked to see the dress and didn't say anything nice about it. All she said was, oh you've gotten so skinny now (i'd lost 40lbs over the space of 2years) your neck bones stick out so much it's disgusting. And those shoes are too high for you.

I am only in one of the pictures in her wedding album. That's it. I was pretty much shunned. I was the only person from both her family and my family to not be at the top table. She included all of her brothers and sisters in the wedding but not me.

It was very strange. We still get on great and I've never brought it up with her but she totally changed from being very sensible to being a bridezilla.

Sligo1

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

My SIL and I get on like a house on fire. We always have but in the lead up to her wedding, she turned completely bridezilla.

Normally, she is a very sensible person especially about money so her hissy fit was totally out of character for her.

She had her 2 sisters be bridesmaids and I am the only sister of my brother and it would seem that there is some tradition that I should have been asked to be bridesmaid, too. Even though I wasn't an 'official' bridesmaid she wanted me to wear a floor length dress. But I thought it would be embarrassing to wear a long dress and have people think I was a wannabe bridesmaid. I would also have no use for it after the wedding because I live abroad so it's not like i'm going to weddings or dinner dances very often!
She was so upset that I wouldn't wear a long dress.

Then to add to it, the dress that I did buy was too 'cheap'. I got a lovely dress from TKMaxx for 50e. I got my shoes of the internet for 20e. I genuinely don't believe in spending a fortune on clothes. I never have. She was so angry about it. She tried to get my mum to force me to get a longer dress and my mum said that she would pay for it. She asked to see the dress and didn't say anything nice about it. All she said was, oh you've gotten so skinny now (i'd lost 40lbs over the space of 2years) your neck bones stick out so much it's disgusting. And those shoes are too high for you.

I am only in one of the pictures in her wedding album. That's it. I was pretty much shunned. I was the only person from both her family and my family to not be at the top table. She included all of her brothers and sisters in the wedding but not me.

It was very strange. We still get on great and I've never brought it up with her but she totally changed from being very sensible to being a bridezilla.

What a b*tch!

Tarzana

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

We still get on great...

Really? She insulted your taste, she insulted your appearance, she cut you out of her wedding. I'm afraid my view of her would be irrevocably altered if I were you.

R.D. aka MR.D

Tarzana wrote: »

Really? She insulted your taste, she insulted your appearance, she cut you out of her wedding. I'm afraid my view of her would be irrevocably altered if I were you.

Well, I think it's really interesting because by no means am i a soft touch. I'm very direct and was laughing recently with my OH that in my last 3 jobs, i've been called a b**** to my face for being straight forward ( we won't get into why women are labeled b words for that but men aren't).

However, my brother and SIL had been going out for 7 years by the time they got married. I've known her for a third of my life, basically! She is the most amazing, supportive, down to earth person that I have the privilege of knowing. My brother is very lucky to have her and now they have 2 amazing kids.

I didn't call her out on it at the time or since because it really seemed like she just blew a gasket and all of a sudden turned terrible. Previously, she would have complained about her friends who had got married and were bridezillas.
It's really interesting because it was like the wedding just caused a massive personality shift.

As far as cutting me out, I don't know why she did that. She tried to minimize our families involvement in the wedding because she has a very strained relationship with them. For example, my terrible excuse for a father got up and insulted her when it was his turn to do a speech. My mother bought an outfit that was more expensive than the wedding dress. My aunt was the only person who didn't contribute money to the hen night even though she was there. :mad:

I probably got lumped in with the rest.

I think I was cut out of the photos because ever since I was 13, I've refused to wear fake tan. I think when the pressure is there to have everything perfect you don't want someone sticking out.

I can forgive her because it was one blip in what is now 9 years of knowing each other. She's back to normal now! We'll be in each other's lives for as long as we live so there is no point in holding a grudge.

Tarzana

^^^^

All I can say is, you're a better person than me! :pac:

Milly33

Jaysus just catching up on the stories.. Taking notes of what not to do.. That's a bit harsh alright R.D. aka MR.D Seems like your family gave their own back anywho, but nice to hear that you don't hold a grudge with her,better off keeping things sweet.

Tarzana don't stress either loose the weight if you want to, and well done for shedding the pounds already. In the same age bracket and it isn't easy, also once you get motivated keep it going it is very hard to slack back into old routines.. You should ask the dressmaker to put a bit of hidden lycra in the side of the dress so expansion or de-spansion is catered for ..Just don't tell the bride leave her with minimal info she will be fine

Tarzana

Milly33 wrote: »

Tarzana don't stress either loose the weight if you want to, and well done for shedding the pounds already. In the same age bracket and it isn't easy

This is it. It's already noticeably a bit harder than even a few years ago, and I don't want to put it off any longer.

Anyway, it just won't be important on the day, but I don't want to stress her in the lead up to it, as I think the lead up is more stressful than the day itself!

Milly33

Id say so alright, I plan on sending himself away on the lead up as id say ill be all over the shop..

Toots

Was talking to a friend who was at a wedding a few weeks ago and it absolutely bucketed rain on the day. The wedding was in a church, with the reception in the hotel. The hotel was about a half hour away from the church, but because the wedding car was an old vintage car, it wasn't the fastest, so the guests arrived to the hotel before the B&G did. Apparently when they arrived, the bride threw a MASSIVE hissy fit that all the guests weren't waiting outside (in the pissings of rain) to welcome them as they arrived at the reception!! :eek:

Gatica

how awful.... maybe after you get your dinner you get out :P (one gets one's dinner)

NewMrs2b

Toots wrote: »

Was talking to a friend who was at a wedding a few weeks ago and it absolutely bucketed rain on the day. The wedding was in a church, with the reception in the hotel. The hotel was about a half hour away from the church, but because the wedding car was an old vintage car, it wasn't the fastest, so the guests arrived to the hotel before the B&G did. Apparently when they arrived, the bride threw a MASSIVE hissy fit that all the guests weren't waiting outside (in the pissings of rain) to welcome them as they arrived at the reception!! :eek:

Bet ya if they did stand out in the rain she would of went mental that they didn't look good in photo's cause they got drenched!!

Pistachios & cream

Are people supposed to come out to welcome the bride and groom? I've never done it. Usually the hotel manager greets them at the door with champagne i thought

Sunny Dayz

Yeah at our wedding most people were standing in the foyer of the hotel as they were having tea & coffee. There were few standing outside around the door. It was a bit embarrassing walking in as everyone was busy and in conversations. It was a case of ok, we have walked in, what do we do now...? Much preferred when we were welcomed into the dining room.

Gatica

I'm pretty sure the guests are always at the hotel before the B&G, not after... unless the B&G decide to skip the photos?
Isn't that what the afternoon reception is for?

Toots

When I got married the guests were already at the hotel, but similarly to the bridezilla I just posted about, it took us longer to get there cos our wedding car was like 90 years old or something. There were a fair few people outside when we arrived, but that was because it was a sunny day so they were having their drinks out in the sunshine. The people outside sort of applauded when we got out of the car, but it wasn't anything formal. I always thought the 'formal' welcome bit was when you come in for dinner. Even if it WAS some sort of formal requirement, surely if it was bucketing rain nobody would expect everyone to stand outside getting soaked!