advice

mich elle

Hi I was just wondering if this is normal or am I over reacting.I'm with my partner over nearly 11years we have 2 kids together. My partner works week days.I work from home I used to work outside home but was getting hard.my partner goes out Friday Saturday night and Sunday afternoon till 9 or10.when he goes out Saturday night he is not home till 4or5.then.when he gets home he is sick every where.when he goes to bed I wake up with sick on me or wee.if I ask can we do something with the kids or go somewhere. He says no as he works hard all week he gets out of bed about 12 ish hung over if.he will spend bout 2hours with us if we r lucky he might push a spin in.I take the kids off my self so they won't miss out.anytime I say anything he will fight with me calls me names etc. When. I did work outside the house. If it was the weekend it would be the same or he wound not come home and I couldn't go so I started working from home.he keeps telling me that everyone does it and I am normal.Just wanted to know if this is the case he is nearly 37.

allym

No, that's not normal. He's a parent and should be taking equal responsibility for looking after his kids, which it doesn't sound like he is.

Fair enough everyone needs to blow off steam every now and again, but every weekend? He's not a teenager. He needs to start acting like a responsible adult.

mich elle

I taught that my head gets messed with him.what should I do

mphalo1

no its not normal I'm 30 and as soon as my twin boys were born that kinda lifestyle went out the window, it was time to grow up and be the father I'd like to of had growing up and most of my friends and family were the same when they had kids , try if we dont go out together we done go out at all or just for him to have 1 lads night out per week or have a few drinks at home instead to rein him in a bit ,hope this helps best of luck

Tilly

Tell him that you have 2 kids and dont need a 3rd. Tell him it's not on and he needs to cut back on his drink if he cant handle it.

kjl

I think this issue runs a lot deeper than a lack of respect for you. It sounds like he is running away from something. I understand he is working hard, but out every night on the weekend show me there is something up. Im not going to make any accusations but be wary.

Penny Tration

You wake up with vomit or urine on you, from him??

That's absolutely bloody vile!

If this is a regular thing, I'd imagine he has a drinking problem. It is not normal to regularly spend all weekend drinking, urinate and vomit on your partner, and ignore your children.

It's not right. I'd be asking that he give up drink.

mich elle

Yeah it is every weekend he has been doing it for years.I think is down to where we r living alot I of his friends r the same.I did say it to his mother but again her answer is he works hard and that's his thing.he was putting me down so much and it's only now I'm able to wake up.was half temping to put him on fb when he was like this but can't do it

Tilly

mich elle wrote: »

Yeah it is every weekend he has been doing it for years.I think is down to where we r living alot I of his friends r the same.I did say it to his mother but again her answer is he works hard and that's his thing.he was putting me down so much and it's only now I'm able to wake up.was half temping to put him on fb when he was like this but can't do it

Dont even dream of putting stuff on facebook if you want to save your relationship!

Sit him down and talk to him. Tell him how disgusting it is and it has to stop.

mich elle

God no I wouldn't do it.but trying to get him to understand that it is not only him is hard.

Tilly

mich elle wrote: »

God no I wouldn't do it.but trying to get him to understand that it is not only him is hard.

Sit him down, talk to him. Tell him if he doesnt sort himself out he can go piss in his mothers house when he goes drinking, that he's not welcome home to your house in that state.

Merkin

green_screen wrote: »

You wake up with vomit or urine on you, from him??

That's absolutely bloody vile!

If this is a regular thing, I'd imagine he has a drinking problem. It is not normal to regularly spend all weekend drinking, urinate and vomit on your partner, and ignore your children.

It's not right. I'd be asking that he give up drink.

+ A gazillion. That is absolutely disgusting, disrespectful, vile and nasty behaviour from someone who clearly has serious issues with alcohol. He really needs to knock it on the head because it's quite clear he has issues with alcohol.

dgt

OP you need to sit him down and talk about his drinking, before long term effects of alcohol abuse begin to set in.

To vomit and urinate in bed on a regular basis is pretty worrying for me to read, I can't imagine how you're putting up with that

mich elle

Yeah I do talk to him he is on tabs for gas res prob in which the doc told him he can't help him if he is drinking.so he really does. Not listen.his family apart from his dad and dro. says that I'm over reacting bout it...

ElleEm

You have a lot of people saying that you are not overreacting, and that you have a right to be annoyed.
It sounds like he does not respect you at all. You are acting like a single parent with little/ no help from him, then he soils himself and calls you names when you try to bring up issues.
Why are you with him? Does he bring any good to your life?

Do you have any friends you can get some help and support from?

mich elle

Yeah I do and they are fab.I didn't wanted to do their heads in.

ElleEm

If my friend was being treated like that by her boyfriend, I would want to know, and help in any way I can. You should really confide in someone about it. They may be able to help you get some perspective, as they know you and your boyfriend.
You are worth more than being called names, being shouted at, parenting alone and cleaning up urine and vomit because your boyfriend is an irresponsible man- child who has yet to grow up! Talk to your friends.

mich elle

I will do thanks so much for all the advice. I didn't expect it.thanks sgain

mich elle

Heya just to let you know that I sat him down to talk to him last night.it just fell on deaf ears. So I told him he better go. As it is not fair on the children putting up an d seeing his every weekend.They come first and I can't focus on them when he is doing this.I also said that only when he changes and learns his responsibilities I might consider taking him back.was I to hard or should I have said something else. I did tell him he can see the kids anytime and that we do love him so much.

Roselm

mich elle wrote: »

Heya just to let you know that I sat him down to talk to him last night.it just fell on deaf ears. So I told him he better go. As it is not fair on the children putting up an d seeing his every weekend.They come first and I can't focus on them when he is doing this.I also said that only when he changes and learns his responsibilities I might consider taking him back.was I to hard or should I have said something else. I did tell him he can see the kids anytime and that we do love him so much.

Well done you! That sounds like you handled it really well.

vetinari

my partner goes out Friday Saturday night and Sunday afternoon till 9 or10.when he goes out Saturday night he is not home till 4or5.then.when he gets home he is sick every where.when he goes to bed I wake up with sick on me or wee

Just wanted to say that would be unacceptable behavior from anyone in a relationship regardless of age or whether they have kids. Very disgusting behavior.

mphalo1

that's terrible I'd say all this is really hard on you and the kids I hope yous can sort this out n he comes to his senses , too much beer is the ruination of to many family's in Ireland no good comes from it ,best of luck now

mphalo1

Well to be honest I'm d same prick as him !!

mich elle

Really and do ye fight too.

mphalo1

that was frape

mphalo1

that was frape that wasn't v funny

mich elle

No worries at least it was not fb.happened me before