Daughter going to college

steddyeddy

Idbatterim wrote: »

and this is exactly why there should be a loan system in place! Why the hell should parents be funding this?!

Or the taxpayers. It would make the student think harder about why they actually want to go to college.

XxMCRxBabyxX

FloatingVoter wrote: »

I've only read the OP so I'll respond to that. The PLC idea is good especially if what you're saying is correct. Heading off to college with the sole intention of partying is leading to a downfall. A year in the real world will do her the world of good. Whether thats a PLC, some volunteer work, even fecking off for a year to "find herself" / ie. party:D. 12 months older and wiser she'll be a lot more suited to committing to the course she intends to do.
The 2nd year of any college course in Ireland is littered with the empty seats of 1st years party animals.

Do we actually know that the daughter is planning to waste the year partying. I haven't seen the OP say that anywhere. "The craic" doesn't mean getting drunk all the time. Based on her subject choices she clearly picked NUIG because it is known to be the best in that area. We could give the girl some credit.

JonKelleher

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I can't say I've seen that bias myself based on some of the intakes that I've worked with but then I didn't spend much time asking every trainee where they studied. In fact the only time that I can remember a bias was when there was a surprising amount of Galway students in the intern programme.

There's also the often ignored fact that some courses take in more students than others. If course your son would see less IT students. Their classes are tiny compared to the hundreds take in by Trinity or UCD.

There's always an excuse with you people.

XxMCRxBabyxX

JonKelleher wrote: »

There's always an excuse with you people.

"You people" meaning what exactly?

JonKelleher

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

"You people" meaning what exactly?

The have nots.

XxMCRxBabyxX

JonKelleher wrote: »

The have nots.

Have not what?

I certainly have a Top 5 training contract, which is what you keep talking about, despite my "having not". That would put me on the same level as your son I believe

FloatingVoter

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Do we actually know that the daughter is planning to waste the year partying. I haven't seen the OP say that anywhere. "The craic" doesn't mean getting drunk all the time. Based on her subject choices she clearly picked NUIG because it is known to be the best in that area. We could give the girl some credit.

No we don't. My answer was based on that assumption. All bets are off if she is determined to apply herself (and have some fun on the side). You could say I based my reply on remembering myself at that age. The odds are she isn't as big a waster as I was.

Sadderday

Will yas jaysus cop on...

here, yeah send her to Galway if ya want... you should have made her get a job and save a bit of her own money but ya didnt so she'll have to get a job when she gets there so she can buy happy meals and hair dye if she wants...

You just fund her heat and eats - she will find her own way.

YOu should have spent the last few months talking her into a different course in Maynooth or something.

Saved yourself a few quid.

JonKelleher

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Have not what?

I certainly have a Top 5 training contract, which is what you keep talking about, despite my "having not". That would put me on the same level as your son I believe

No, it wouldn't.

dockleaf

JonKelleher wrote: »

You think if you have a degree from an IT you will a job with a top law firm, investment bank, consulting firm?

I know for a fact that 'top law firms' as you call them, care much less about where your degree is from than what contacts you may have gained by your sporting/social network and therefore what business you may bring them in the future.

If you have someone from Trinity with a law degree up against someone from an IT background, what will matter more is who is part of a camogie team, or competing in sailing, or a hurler, on a GAA committee, eventing ( horse riding), hunting, has worked in a large business or factory during holidays- all these things build up contacts and those contacts generate future fee income.

And if you have someone from Trinity with all those contacts, and someone from an IT with all those contacts competing sometimes it also comes down to personality and who does better at the, highly competitive, and stressful group interviews. Not so much the degrees!

Also in the food/science/pharma and IT industry, graduates from ITs are often ahead of their contemporaries from universities because ITs have good records for student placements and focus more on practicality and less on academics. The ITs actively liaise with industry professionals to gear their courses towards what Industry wants.

Spoken as a university graduate!

JonKelleher

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Have not what?

I certainly have a Top 5 training contract, which is what you keep talking about, despite my "having not". That would put me on the same level as your son I believe

Firms have to take a few people every year from mickey mouse universities, and maybe even ITs, to satisfy the do-gooders and bedwetters who would complain about equality etc. It's akin to affirmative action.

JonKelleher

dockleaf wrote: »

I know for a fact that 'top law firms' as you call them, care much less about where your degree is from than what contacts you may have gained by your sporting/social network and therefore what business you may bring them in the future.

If you have someone from Trinity with a law degree up against someone from an IT background, what will matter more is who is part of a camogie team, or competing in sailing, or a hurler, on a GAA committee, eventing ( horse riding), hunting, has worked in a large business or factory during holidays- all these things build up contacts and those contacts generate future fee income.

And if you have someone from Trinity with all those contacts, and someone from an IT with all those contacts competing sometimes it also comes down to personality and who does better at the, highly competitive, and stressful group interviews. Not so much the degrees!

Also in the food/science/pharma and IT industry, graduates from ITs are often ahead of their contemporaries from universities because ITs have good records for student placements and focus more on practicality and less on academics.

Spoken as a university graduate!

Wow, that's absolute nonsense. Spoken as someone with five years experience in a MC law firm and ten years experience in an investment bank.

dockleaf

JonKelleher wrote: »

Firms have to take a few people every year from mickey mouse universities, and maybe even ITs, to satisfy the do-gooders and bedwetters who would complain about equality etc. It's akin to affirmative action.

LOL. I think this is a trolling post.

Spoken as a solicitor with rather more experience than you.

Fee income is where it's ALL at.

JonKelleher

dockleaf wrote: »

LOL. I think this is a trolling post.

No, it's the truth unfortunately. I don't agree with it, but that is what happens.

JonKelleher

dockleaf wrote: »

LOL. I think this is a trolling post.

Spoken as a solicitor with rather more years experience than you.

Fee income is where it's ALL at.

Yes, maybe in some nobody firm in Cavan, not in MC/ SC law firms, IB/MC firms. You keep hiring the captain of the parish hurling team.

Hotfail.com

Pro Hoc Vice wrote: »

But you should have done all this months ago and spoken about the back up plan, if your daughter gets her second choice and its in Galway then you are stuck. To be honest you must take some responsibility for this and said months ago to your daughter "yes if you get 1st choice I will delighted, but if you are putting down any generic choice courses then your top choice in that course must be Dublin." this is not your daughters fault its yours, in not taking control of the situation months ago, plenty of advice out there.

Exactly. No one should have anything down on their CAO form that they/their parents know they wouldn't be able to attend. It's the most basic thing you should consider when filling it out.

--LOS--

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

... i dunno... earn your own way in life? God forbid someone could try and get a job and save. But I guess ...

"hey ma and da, i know you fed and clothed me all me life... given me a roof to stay under. I know we are only working class but could yis give me 12 grand for college?"

If you read my previous post my parents would have given that money, no fecking problem. But why the fuck should I or anyone else ask!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??!
I am sorry for your hardship that you had during college. I mean that. But there are parents out there who don't treat their kids right. Let them walk around in rags... fuck paying the heating bill I want to get pissed up tonight (etc) Some even abandon their kids...

So what right did I have to ask my parents for college money? ... or what right does anyone who comes from a loving home?

Earn your own way? Seriously please explain that to me. How does one who is a child without a source of income and who is doing a course that is 30+ hours a week of class time, which doesn't include personal study time, earn their keep?? You do realise how little sense that makes.

I worked a full time job every summer during college since I did my leaving, that way if I didn't spend any of the money I earned I was able to make about 3-4 grand which just about covered my rent for the year. That's just one expense. I had many days where I didn't even have the money for my bus ticket from town to college or for food etc, essential things, it's not like I was expecting anyone to pay for me to drink my way through college.

I've been 'paying my own way' for long before that too, I paid for my own school uniform and school books at times. If I had any idea that my parents were going to give me zero support in life, I would have insisted on postponing college for a while. But at 17 I did actually want to take a year off first but my parents weren't having that either. Ok I definitely didn't come from a loving home so maybe my case is a bit extreme but I'm not saying parents should pay for everything, but for the essential things like fees and maybe rent or part of the rent, that is something they should have planned since they chose to have a child. Let students also contribute to their living expense sure, and earn their own spending money if they wish for a social life, but the point of education is to get you to a point where you are able to support yourself, not the other way around.

Now at 26, I am 9 years in college and I still can't support myself. The difference is now I'm an adult and at an age where it's expected I can look after myself. So now I'm reminded constantly how unaccomplished I am/what a failure I am/I should have a job etc etc.... this is obviously something a lot of people my age and older have experienced in recent years. Does it really make me so entitled to feel like I have a right to education?

FloatingVoter

Only one person I know fully funded their own way through college at the age of 18 - 21. She was dealing drugs (mid-level tradewise). Even then she was using a family connection.

JonKelleher

--LOS-- wrote: »

Earn your own way? Seriously please explain that to me. How does one who is a child without a source of income and who is doing a course that is 30+ hours a week of class time, which doesn't include personal study time, earn their keep?? You do realise how little sense that makes.

I worked a full time job every summer during college since I did my leaving, that way if I didn't spend any of the money I earned I was able to make about 3-4 grand which just about covered my rent for the year. That's just one expense. I had many days where I didn't even have the money for my bus ticket from town to college or for food etc, essential things, it's not like I was expecting anyone to pay for me to drink my way through college.

I've been 'paying my own way' for long before that too, I paid for my own school uniform and school books at times. If I had any idea that my parents were going to give me zero support in life, I would have insisted on postponing college for a while. But at 17 I did actually want to take a year off first but my parents weren't having that either. Ok I definitely didn't come from a loving home so maybe my case is a bit extreme but I'm not saying parents should pay for everything, but for the essential things like fees and maybe rent or part of the rent, that is something they should have planned since they chose to have a child. Let students also contribute to their living expense sure, and earn their own spending money if they wish for a social life, but the point of education is to get you to a point where you are able to support yourself, not the other way around.

Now at 26, I am 9 years in college and I still can't support myself. The difference is now I'm an adult and at an age where it's expected I can look after myself. So now I'm reminded constantly how unaccomplished I am/what a failure I am/I should have a job etc etc.... this is obviously something a lot of people my age and older have experienced in recent years. Does it really make me so entitled to feel like I have a right to education?

You can certainly support yourself. I worked 20+ hours a week whilst doing a Masters in London. I also continued to work as a consultant whilst doing a full-time MBA in Chicago. Both of these cities are far more expensive than Galway in terms of accommodation and living expenses and both courses would have been far more rigorous than any undergraduate offering at NUIG or GMIT.

Hotfail.com

JonKelleher wrote: »

You can certainly support yourself. I worked 20+ hours a week whilst doing a Masters in London. I also continued to work as a consultant whilst doing a full-time MBA in Chicago. Both of these cities are far more expensive than Galway in terms of accommodation and living expenses and both courses would have been far more rigorous than any undergraduate offering at NUIG or GMIT.

Oh that's okay then, I'm sure she's just been fooling herself for the past 9 years....

FloatingVoter

JonKelleher wrote: »

You can certainly support yourself. I worked 20+ hours a week whilst doing a Masters in London. I also continued to work as a consultant whilst doing a full-time MBA in Chicago. Both of these cities are far more expensive than Galway in terms of accommodation and living expenses and both courses would have been far more rigorous than any undergraduate offering at NUIG or GMIT.

Support yourself meaning rent and noodles. Easily doable. Like you say, a part-time job in a chipper or a bar will cover that. College fees take you into a whole new financial arena. Funding a masters is something most people do. Certainly if they wait until their 30s. Topping a masters, the collapse of the celtic kitten means we probably have more doctorates per head of population than any other country on earth.

JonKelleher

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Oh that's okay then, I'm sure she's just been fooling herself for the past 9 years....

No, probably just lazy.

Valetta

JonKelleher wrote: »

Firms have to take a few people every year from mickey mouse universities, and maybe even ITs, to satisfy the do-gooders and bedwetters who would complain about equality etc. It's akin to affirmative action.

JonKelleher wrote: »

Wow, that's absolute nonsense. Spoken as someone with five years experience in a MC law firm and ten years experience in an investment bank.

JonKelleher wrote: »

Yes, maybe in some nobody firm in Cavan, not in MC/ SC law firms, IB/MC firms. You keep hiring the captain of the parish hurling team.

JonKelleher wrote: »

No, probably just lazy.

Just goes to show that no matter what fancy university one goes to, manners and modesty are attributes that are far more valuable in life, but unfortunately are lacking with this poster.

Sadderday

You said you would pay so jusy pay up

Lesson learned with the next nipper hitting 6th year

JonKelleher

Valetta wrote: »

Just goes to show that no matter what fancy university one goes to, manners and modesty are attributes that are far more valuable in life, but unfortunately are lacking with this poster.

Jealousy is a sin.

FloatingVoter

JonKelleher wrote: »

Jealousy is a sin.

So is trolling on the net when you should be at work. Sorry, 16 year olds pretending to be top flight legal eagles don't work.

JonKelleher

FloatingVoter wrote: »

So is trolling on the net when you should be at work. Sorry, 16 year olds pretending to be top flight legal eagles don't work.

Left the legal profession nearly 20 years ago slick, take a look at my previous posts.

FloatingVoter

JonKelleher wrote: »

Left the legal profession nearly 20 years ago slick, take a look at my previous posts.

Ah here, I don't watch Jeremy Kyle or Oireachtais Report, why would I read your posts.

JonKelleher

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Ah here, I don't watch Jeremy Kyle or Oireachtais Report, why would I read your posts.

Well you just responded to two of my posts, so obviously you read them. With those skills of deduction, you obviously have an IT education.

B.A._Baracus

--LOS-- wrote: »

Earn your own way? Seriously please explain that to me. How does one who is a child without a source of income and who is doing a course that is 30+ hours a week of class time, which doesn't include personal study time, earn their keep?? You do realise how little sense that makes.

I worked a full time job every summer during college since I did my leaving, that way if I didn't spend any of the money I earned I was able to make about 3-4 grand which just about covered my rent for the year. That's just one expense. I had many days where I didn't even have the money for my bus ticket from town to college or for food etc, essential things, it's not like I was expecting anyone to pay for me to drink my way through college.

I've been 'paying my own way' for long before that too, I paid for my own school uniform and school books at times. If I had any idea that my parents were going to give me zero support in life, I would have insisted on postponing college for a while. But at 17 I did actually want to take a year off first but my parents weren't having that either. Ok I definitely didn't come from a loving home so maybe my case is a bit extreme but I'm not saying parents should pay for everything, but for the essential things like fees and maybe rent or part of the rent, that is something they should have planned since they chose to have a child. Let students also contribute to their living expense sure, and earn their own spending money if they wish for a social life, but the point of education is to get you to a point where you are able to support yourself, not the other way around.

Now at 26, I am 9 years in college and I still can't support myself. The difference is now I'm an adult and at an age where it's expected I can look after myself. So now I'm reminded constantly how unaccomplished I am/what a failure I am/I should have a job etc etc.... this is obviously something a lot of people my age and older have experienced in recent years. Does it really make me so entitled to feel like I have a right to education?

I was replying to various aspects of your post then just saw that... 9 years?!?!?! what type of college course you got?

magicmushroom

I don't think you're being a tight arse at all, 12 grand a year is HUGE money...She is lucky to come from a home that can afford to send her to college at all - I didn't get that luxury!

So long as she ends up in a good school, she will have the same craic as she would in Galway so I don't see an issue with it

Pro Hoc Vice

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

I was replying to various aspects of your post then just saw that... 9 years?!?!?! what type of college course you got?

I was 8 years, degree, post grad and professional qualification, if I went for PhD then it would have been 15 in total.

Pro Hoc Vice

JonKelleher wrote: »

Well you just responded to two of my posts, so obviously you read them. With those skills of deduction, you obviously have an IT education.

Bitchy #unisnob lol

Adamantium

You realise that these tough life lessons don't have to experienced, they can be learned from others. I went through some of these life experiences that the posters here would like the girl to go through and I wasn't better for them, more jaded and bitter if anything was the long term result

I knew all that painful stuff before hand, I didn't have to crawl through the dirt and scramble up sheer cliffs to have it be confirmed. I knew the uncomfortable realities of the world because I never really experienced teenage tantrums and what have you, I was mature as I ever was by the time I was 15.

Then again, you know your daughter better than anyone. But she may surprise you by what she knows.

Don't be hardnosed for the sake of being hardnosed (this forum has always a hard on for tough talk, but they forget that poverty is not a glorious, pull your self up romantized place to be) she might not have her parents forever and she'll suffering the banailty of the real world for long enough. Right now you're all she's got and she's trying.

She'll also be working long enough.

steddyeddy

It depends adamantium. People think once they send their kids to school and college they are somehow prepared for life. The thing is they may not have learned how to work hard, how to save money, how to look after a home or how to deal with people.

Iwasfrozen

Pro Hoc Vice wrote: »

I was 8 years, degree, post grad and professional qualification, if I went for PhD then it would have been 15 in total.

Could you break that down? Genuinely interested.

steddyeddy

This will be my tenth year too

Pro Hoc Vice

Iwasfrozen wrote: »

Could you break that down? Genuinely interested.

Undergrad 4 years, post grad 2 years, professional qualification 2 years. Most PhDs 5 years.

Iwasfrozen

Pro Hoc Vice wrote: »

Undergrad 4 years, post grad 2 years, professional qualification 2 years. Most PhDs 5 years.

Jesus dude, that's aweful. Aren't most masters 1 year?

MouseTail

Iwasfrozen wrote: »

Jesus dude, that's aweful. Aren't most masters 1 year?

And aren't professional exams done on the job?

Pro Hoc Vice

MouseTail wrote: »

And aren't professional exams done on the job?

Kings inns was a 2 year course when I did it. It is currently 1 year full time or 2 year part time course.

Pro Hoc Vice

Iwasfrozen wrote: »

Jesus dude, that's aweful. Aren't most masters 1 year?

I said I spent 2 years doing post grad. That could be two years doing one post grad or 2 years doing 2.

oncex

My heart goes out to her. Not only is she disappointed in herself for not getting her first choice, she can sense you are too. Perhaps not for the same reasons, but as someone who is going into her 1st year of college after repeating and putting my life on hold, I'm empathetic. Please let her make her own decisions. It's too late and to be honest, college is going to cost relatively the same everywhere. Is it student accommodation she's staying in? Digs or even her own house would be cheaper! But she can sort that next year.. It's too late. It's all well and good to say these people put themselves through college but if fees were as cheap as people are saying, so could I. However €2750 is a bit ridiculous to expect an 18 year old who had worked all year to pay. See the thing that my parents never understood until this year was why I didn't have a part time job. If she wanted 500+ points and wasn't a genius she needed to study and working would have taken time away from that. Trust me, she appreciates it. All parents think we don't, but were not going to say it..it's cringy

MouseTail

The time to address this was when choices were being considered, and the CAO form filled in. I do agree that it is a bit of an indulgence to be going to GMIT when there are likely a lot of equivalent courses locally. But I dont think it is fair to pull the rug at this stage. What was her first choice, is she likely to get that locally after a years PLC, or can she transfer locally after a year at GMIT?

steddyeddy

oncex wrote: »

My heart goes out to her. Not only is she disappointed in herself for not getting her first choice, she can sense you are too. Perhaps not for the same reasons, but as someone who is going into her 1st year of college after repeating and putting my life on hold, I'm empathetic. Please let her make her own decisions. It's too late and to be honest, college is going to cost relatively the same everywhere. Is it student accommodation she's staying in? Digs or even her own house would be cheaper! But she can sort that next year.. It's too late. It's all well and good to say these people put themselves through college but if fees were as cheap as people are saying, so could I. However €2750 is a bit ridiculous to expect an 18 year old who had worked all year to pay. See the thing that my parents never understood until this year was why I didn't have a part time job. If she wanted 500+ points and wasn't a genius she needed to study and working would have taken time away from that. Trust me, she appreciates it. All parents think we don't, but were not going to say it..it's cringy

I did it so it can be done. I paid my way through college until I was seen to be good enough to deserve a scholarship. It improved my work ethic and made me better.

The studies show people who have college, rent ect paid for them by their parents come out with lower GPAs as a result.

http://www.thefiscaltimes.com/Articles/2013/01/17/When-Parents-Pay-for-College-Kids-Grades-Could-Suffer

Carson10

shes only young. She could do no harm in attending a local college for 2 years and then decide whats her next move after that. Being near home she could get a part-time job to help pay her way.

Perhaps say, if you stay @ home we will buy you your own starter car to get to college etc..

I see local kids in my area, heading a way off to Dublin/Galway at massive expense to the parents when the nearby IT, would be more than perfect. The cost of sending them away they could have a nice little car and get a part-time job.

They'l only end up moving back home @ 23 years old after finishing college with no job and no money.

JohnMearsheimer

When I was going to college my mother left me under no illusions that CIT and UCC were my only options. Made sense considering that we live in the city.

If I had kids I think I would only pay if it was a course that they couldn't do in Cork or was extremely competitive to get into and they didn't get a Cork based place. I don't think I'd pay for my child to do Arts in UCD when they could do the same thing in UCC.

Hotfail.com

JohnMearsheimer wrote: »

When I was going to college my mother left me under no illusions that CIT and UCC were my only options. Made sense considering that we live in the city.

If I had kids I think I would only pay if it was a course that they couldn't do in Cork or was extremely competitive to get into and they didn't get a Cork based place. I don't think I'd pay for my child to do Arts in UCD when they could do the same thing in UCC.

My parents did the same for me, not a chance they'd pay for me to go to Dublin when the same thing is available down here.

Tarzana

JohnMearsheimer wrote: »

When I was going to college my mother left me under no illusions that CIT and UCC were my only options. Made sense considering that we live in the city.

If I had lived in a college town, it would have been the same for me from my parents.

I have a bit of a dilemma. ...

Daughter has accepted her round one offer. We filled out campus accommodation form online and got an email requesting deposit by 20th August. Sound.

2 minutes later received another email requesting full semesters payment also by 20th August.

My problem is - what if she gets an alternative offer? She is waiting for a letter from ucas regarding a course and chances are 50/50. There's also round 2 cao offers. If I have paid out nearly the guts of 3 grand by tomorrow I don't have the funds to pay another campus while I wait for refund.

I dunno what to do. Is it normal to ask for more than deposit so early?