First Date - Interested VS Too Eager

LegacyUser

I met a guy online two weeks ago. We got chatting and exchanged phone number ect. I am in my twenties with a young child and he is in his early thirties with a child.
We spoke on the phone before we met, and after chats and texts he asked me would I at a later stage be interested in going away with him for a weekend away. I told him that this is something I would have to consider after we meet and if we click and go out on more dates ect.
He is living about an hour and a half from where I live. We met last week for the first time and since then he seems very full on, talking about how is really likes me, asked me again about a weekend away ect.
I am supposed to meet him for drinks tomorrow evening and as he lives in a different county he has suggested he will stay in a hotel. He asked if I would stay with him, and assured me it was only to spent time with me and not for sex but he keeps making comments that he can;t wait to kiss me again, in one text he said he wished he could kiss every inch of me, how he cant wait to see me again and so on.

Is this guy just looking for sex and just hoping he will get it ( which he will not on a second date ) or is he overly full on or dose all this seem standard.
I am uncertain as to whither to cancel tomorrow or not so I just would like some advice.

Tokyo

It seems to me that you have doubts as to whether going away with this guy for an entire weekend in a hotel is a good idea. And to be honest he seems quite pushy about the hotel, considering that you have already told him that this is something you'd really only consider somewhere down the line. I'd suggest that you go with your gut feeling on this one. If this guy is the right guy for you, he'll understand, and there will be other weekends and other hotels.

Taltos

I am less upbeat than mike above, I don't think he is playing you as he cannot be clearer "wanting to kiss every inch of you" but it all seems very rushed and hurried to me.

You only met him two weeks ago, he barely knows you and yet he cannot wait to meet you and is already planning weekends away after just meeting once? Not to mention the obvious one - booking a local hotel and inviting you for "chats". Sorry OP in my humble opinion your post has more red flags than any I've read in a while and I think he is way too full on.

beks101

I think it's up to you to set the boundaries OP. Don't let yourself get used and take matters in your own hands. Tell him very clearly, "no, I am not going to go back to your hotel with you. We barely know each other. But you can take me for dinner if you like."

I've been with guys before who pushed way too early like that, it didn't make me feel comfortable and it wasn't what I was looking for, so I'd simply set my boundaries and see if they stuck around. Some did, some didn't - usually the ones that were just looking for a cheap shag.

Don't get drunk on your next date with him, it's too easy to make a decision you wouldn't otherwise when that happens. Don't spend the night with him (we both know he doesn't "just want to chat") until you're comfortable doing so, and don't sign up for any weekend away - that stuff is reserved for relationships or fcuk buddies, neither of which is relevant to you at this point.

Tell him explicitly that you will be taking this slowly, and if he keeps pushing and pushing you'll find it disrespectful and will walk away. And don't forget that actions speak louder than words here. To be blunt, some lads will say anything when their biggest interest is getting you into bed. I've had fellas profess their undying love when we'd barely just met, guys telling me they wanted a relationship with me, had never met anyone like me, I was amazing, I was gorgeous, I was everything they were looking for. Fcuked right off when they either got what they wanted or realized that they wouldn't.

Don't listen to what he says. Set the boundaries in a way that makes you feel comfortable and watch what he does.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies, I forgot to add that withing the past three day when we were testing in the evening he asked me if he could drive up to where I live to meet me. He knows I live with another family member and my child and when he first asked I explained this again to him, and the following evening he suggested it again.

tara73

First Date - Interested VS Too Eager wrote: »

Thanks for the replies, I forgot to add that withing the past three day when we were testing in the evening he asked me if he could drive up to where I live to meet me. He knows I live with another family member and my child and when he first asked I explained this again to him, and the following evening he suggested it again.

ok, sorry, but this is just weirdo behaviour. whatever he's up to, I wouldn't meet him again. It's up to you for sure, but I wouldn't. much more men out there:)

Big Bag of Chips

I think it's time for the "I don't think this is going to work out" chat.

DeltaWhite

Nah... he sounds like an absolute horn dog seriously. I've been unfortunate to come across men like him in my lifetime and they aint worth the time and effort. Move swiftly on OP. And if he persists with texts etc, tell him to jog on sharpish.

LegacyUser

He did seem very normal chatting to him at first, he has a child of his own and he has a good job. He did seem on paper like a normal decent person, it just seems strange how he could turn out to be so full on. Its a pity but onwards and upwards

LegacyUser

OP this sounds awfully like a guy I had communication with over Tinder earlier this year. He lived about an hour outside the city & was a single parent of a 13 y/o boy & again had a really good job - all good on paper! But things turned creepy before I ever had the chance to meet him, we exchanged numbers & that was grand for a few weeks texting over & back but then he started with all this "wish I was in bed beside you" and "wish I could kiss you all over your body" & also asking me to send me pics (he sent a good few first) - that for me was the last straw as this guy I had never even met was asking me for photos! We used to be in mid-conversation late at night & he'd ask could he ring me etc. I dunno I just got the heebie jeebies off him (he looked perfectly normal from his pics btw!) so I told him it was pointless as he lived to far away for anything to happen, he said he didnt agree but I stood my ground & eventually stopped replying to his texts.

He did ring me a few times since but havent heard anything from him in a good 5 months at this stage!

Long and the short of it, massive red flags from your story & I think you should nip this in the bud NOW. I certainly wouldnt be meeting up with him if I were in your shoes, but if you decide to go, please please please dont drink anymore than one or 2 otherwise you wont be able to make rational decisions.

LegacyUser

I have decided not to meet him tonight. After reading the replies I realize that I was right to be wary of this guy. Wanting me to spend the night, wanting to go away for the weekend, forgot to add he also kept asking for more pics even though I added him on facebook, where I have hundreds of pics, and the fact that he wanted to come into my home where my child and another family member resides is all too much.
At the end of the day I have to be an example to my child and I do not want to be taken for a fool by some creep. Better to be safe than sorry.

Really appreciate the replies.