Need help moving on

LegacyUser

I'll try to keep to the main points if I can

I was in an LTR up until this summer, where she decided to end it. There were signs, but being a blind fool I chose to ignore them. Left me gutted for a while, but each day I got a bit better.

I wasn't the greatest of boyfriends but I endeavored to improve myself in whatever way possible. That doesn't mean I treated her badly or vice versa, just I'd never been in a loving relationship before. I always tried to make her day with random acts of kindness. Looking back, I have changed significantly from an immature yob to someone respectable in the time I was with her.

She left the country in March to get a new job, thus I thought it would be slightly easier to get over. Kind of has been.

We still chat on a regular basis, we both have issues neither of us can really discuss with anyone else. We were and still have feelings each other. However there is a twist: it's not me but immediate family of mine that led to his breakup. Which absolutely kills me deep down and has left me feeling depressed at times (hence I'm typing this now).

I chose to straighten things, as best I could, for myself. Then told her about the issue and how it was all I could do. We chatted one evening until our relationship cropped up (never ends well) thus she says her parents would be quite annoyed if we were together. I was quite annoyed to hear this as not too long ago she was very independent of her parents while living with them; another thing she said was "they can advise and not much else", this pretty much turns everything she said around.

The whole situation is a mess I either want to move on from or start fresh (which I know isn't really possible) but I just want to have a nice clear head without the worry of loneliness.

I have my good days and bad days. I am still at home, usually alone for most of the day. All my friends have moved away, that doesn't mean I don't call on the phone for a chat.

Today is a mixed day where I'm ok for a while then like now I'm deeply missing her.

Can someone advise me on how to move on from this? We're both confused still. I feel like I'm trapped at times. I just want to move on, like I've done in the past with previous partners.

If I've missed some details that would make my situation easier to understand, don't hesitate to ask.

Thank you for reading

catonthewire

Hi,

Do you mind me asking what age you both are?..

Buona Fortuna

Hi OP

I'd also be interested in what age you both are.

I struggled to understand this bit:

We were and still have feelings each other. However there is a twist: it's not me but immediate family of mine that led to his breakup.

Are you saying that your parents forbade the relationship, made it difficult, what?

You both still have feelings for each other is that love, friendship, respect, which?

What does moving on mean to you? Does it mean that you're over the breakup and looking for partures new, or something else?

LegacyUser

OP here,

We are both in our mid 20's.

Her parents do not like my father and there's nothing I can do about that (they have their reasons I don't want to go into). My father never really warmed to her but never gave me a reason why. However, he didn't mind our relationship.

We still chat regularly as friends. However, I just want to move on as in I'll be over the breakup and know where we stand. We both have days where we express want for each other, I just want something concrete and not wavering thoughts of what might be.

Seeing as this is the first major breakup, I'm at a loss as to what to do

Buona Fortuna

obnoxious degenerate wrote: »

OP here,

We are both in our mid 20's.

Her parents do not like my father and there's nothing I can do about that (they have their reasons I don't want to go into). My father never really warmed to her but never gave me a reason why. However, he didn't mind our relationship.

We still chat regularly as friends. However, I just want to move on as in I'll be over the breakup and know where we stand. We both have days where we express want for each other, I just want something concrete and not wavering thoughts of what might be.

Seeing as this is the first major breakup, I'm at a loss as to what to do

Hi OP

Thanks for getting back. I'm still not entiely clear then why you split up. Be that as it may. The simplest way to get over this is to cut out the chats with your ex. You won't get "over it" if you have that cosy reminder every few days.

As to moving on to pastures, I don't know if you have a circle of friends. If you don't try taking some new activities where you will meet people - step dancing, pottery, it probably doesn't matter, though woodwork is not likely to attract as many females.

Good luck OP.