Masturbation

cloud493

Fat Christy wrote: »

Did you not get a load of Jizz on your hand?

I hate when it goes into my bellybutton, I have an inny bellybutton.

Nope, I don't reach completion lets say. So seems a waste of time.

Aphex

Fat Christy wrote: »

I'm not a woman, I'm a hermaphrodite.

Get you're facts right and stop following me around like a bad smell.

wtf

Edit: I get the joke now

mfergus

Icecowboy wrote: »

You should try limit your walking to once or twice a week.

I agree. Limit your walking so you will have more time for ****

Fat Christy

Aphex wrote: »

wtf

Yeahhhh....walk away and keep walking.

Lucifer MorningStar

Fat Christy wrote: »

Tired?

Do you not feel contented though? I usually have about 5 orgasms or until it just doesn't want to be touched anymore and then I nap.

Tired yes, but more of a depressed feeling more than anything, and I don't jack off every day either

Fat Christy

Lucifer MorningStar wrote: »

Tired yes, but more of a depressed feeling more than anything, and I don't jack off every day either

Ah gawd, that's awful.

What about sex? Do you feel the same way?

EDIT: Don't listen to Ice bai. I'm telling ya, it's just out to turn ya Lucifer. Down with that sort of thing!

Icecowboy

Lucifer MorningStar wrote: »

Tired yes, but more of a depressed feeling more than anything, and I don't jack off every day either

Google your brain on porn.

Fat Christy

Aphex wrote: »

wtf

Edit: I get the joke now

I don't.

What's the joke?

Buona Fortuna

Fat Christy wrote: »

Ah gawd, that's awful.

What about sex? Do you feel the same way?

Probably the best offer he's had in a while.:D

Lucifer MorningStar

Fat Christy wrote: »

Ah gawd, that's awful.

What about sex? Do you feel the same way?

No, only when I masterbate

Fat Christy

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

Probably the best offer he's had in a while.:D

*face palm*

Lucifer is manipulating me here. I agreed to naaatthhhhiiiinnnnggg.

logically

To answer the question posed by the OP. It's not taboo. Societal norms dictate that one doesn't talk about these matters any more than one would talk about the size of one's stool size. Anyone who does talk about either their stool size or masturbation habits IRL isn't quite the full shilling as far as I'm concerned.

I would like to add that I do like a good old **** every now and then myself. My wife likes it when I **** all over her back and she might not be in the mood for sex. I'm happy to oblige her.

Aphex

Fat Christy wrote: »

I don't.

What's the joke?

Well now I don't know, I guess you just hate me then I introduced you to Gizoogle ffs! Typical wanker.

Fat Christy

Aphex wrote: »

Well now I don't know, I guess you just hate me then I introduced you to Gizoogle ffs! Typical wanker.

Oooohhhh yeah.

It's Lucifer man, blame Lucifer. He's a bad influence, fcuking up shít wherever he goes.

Ralphdejones

kowloon wrote: »

When I was younger I used to watch Sci-Fi at night with the volume down low (Father highly critical of Sci-Fi for unknown reasons).

Probably because he knew you were jerking off to sci fi, which is a little bit out there

Fat Christy

logically wrote: »

To answer the question posed by the OP. It's not taboo. Societal norms dictate that one doesn't talk about these matters any more than one would talk about the size of one's stool size. Anyone who does talk about either their stool size or masturbation habits IRL isn't quite the full shilling as far as I'm concerned.

I would like to add that I do like a good old **** every now and then myself. My wife likes it when I **** all over her back and she might not be in the mood for sex. I'm happy to oblige her.

Does your wife masturbate?

logically

Fat Christy wrote: »

Does your wife masturbate?

She does indeed.

moy83

You know your good at it when you can switch from your right hand to your left without losing a stroke

bnt

One of my favourite albums is Angel Dust by Faith No More, which includes a song called Jizzlobber. I'm not a 'Merkin, and the lyrics are quite cryptic, so I had to look up the word on the Internet ... you guessed it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSzGKJ4GwHA

alwald

better call saul wrote: »

One after work one in bed does the trick

one in bed???!!!! you must have many sheets to change lol

Tar.Aldarion

My hand and I have an agreement.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtUVQei3nX4

kowloon

Ralphdejones wrote: »

Probably because he knew you were jerking off to sci fi, which is a little bit out there

You don't?!

con___manx1

Its very hard t squeeze out a **** when yr sharing a room with someone.

Molester Stallone II

con___manx1 wrote: »

Its very hard t squeeze out a **** when yr sharing a room with someone.

Challenge. ........ Accepted!

s1ippy

I wonder how all the **** in here are getting on.

gogo

s1ippy wrote: »

I wonder how all the **** in here are getting on.

Applying for grants for guide dogs ;-)

Leg End Reject

s1ippy wrote: »

I wonder how all the **** in here are getting on.

I'm fine, thanks for asking.

greenspurs

just fine !

Part of your 5 a day ? :P


(I only just saw the dates on the previous posts ! )

Wanderer78

s1ippy wrote:

I wonder how all the **** in here are getting on.

Give a sec!

kowloon

Arise Zombie thread, Arise!

greenspurs

The only thing rising hopefully !!! :eek:

Feisar

con___manx1 wrote: »

Its very hard t squeeze out a **** when yr sharing a room with someone.

I shared a room with a lad in college, used to have to bust one out in the shower.

greenspurs

Feisar wrote: »

I shared a room with a lad in college, used to have to bust one out in the shower.

Make a mess, and have it cleaned at the same time!

Wanderer78

Feisar wrote: »

I shared a room with a lad in college, used to have to bust one out in the shower.

oh samurai, you must learn the ways of the 'silent ****'!

Feisar

Wanderer78 wrote: »

oh samurai, you must learn the ways of the 'silent ****'!

I remember the shower being cold one time, took some Zen shít to pull that one off.

cj maxx

As someone who briefly shared a room , the silent **** doesn’t work . In a silent room you can still hear it and the sheets going up and down.
Go to the jacks and bang on out in relative peace

Wanderer78

Wanderer78 wrote: »

oh samurai, you must learn the ways of the 'silent ****'!

cj maxx wrote: »

As someone who briefly shared a room , the silent **** doesn’t work . In a silent room you can still hear it and the sheets going up and down.
Go to the jacks and bang on out in relative peace

must try 'harder', oh samurai son!

greenspurs

Have you done it while your oh is asleep in bed beside you without waking her ?

That's skill ! :P

greenspurs

Feisar wrote: »

I remember the shower being cold one time, took some Zen shít to pull that one off.

:eek: That is an achievement ! Kudos !

Wanderer78

greenspurs wrote: »

Have you done it while your oh is asleep in bed beside you without waking her ?

That's skill ! :P

oh master level, oh samurai, be patient, it will 'come'!

sligojoek

Can't remember where I heard this

Lad 1: Can you change hands without missing a stroke?

Lad 2: I can change hands and gain a stroke.

worded

Paint nail varnish on one hand and hold it in the freezer for two or three minutes and it feels and looks like someone else is doing it ....

kenmm

Every thread seems to be just full of **** these days

Mr.Crinklewood

greenspurs wrote: »

Have you done it while your oh is asleep in bed beside you without waking her ?

That's skill ! :P

Get the timing in sequence with the snores is the secret.

Hego Damask

This working from home lark is great, been **** at my desk ****ing loads lately !!!

Ripping the skeleton of of myself !!! - just need to make sure I'm off the work VPN whilst I'm at it !!

Hego Damask

... in fact sometimes just for a dare I don't even bother wearing pants while at zoom meetings, might even give the John Thomas a sly stroke when Big Baps Bev from accounting is talking ....


****ing great stuff ....


Yes I'm a pervert, but I like to think I have the mind of a perv but the hands of a gentleman !!

Church on Tuesday

worded wrote: »

Paint nail varnish on one hand and hold it in the freezer for two or three minutes and it feels and looks like someone else is doing it ....

As yes, the ice berg handy.

greenspurs

Channel 4 had a programme on last night about some mens stories about their penis/séx etc.
It could show erections , as it was an artistic programme !