Viking Funeral

Dwaegon

I have been planning to write a will as I'm a proper adult now. Does anyone know if a Viking funeral is feasible in Ireland? I've been trying to find out what the legality of such a situation would be or if there are any funeral homes that might facilitate such a request.

I'm talking being put in a small boat with some stuff I like, floated out on the water and having the boat set alight until it burns up my body and sinks.

I'm not a Viking or believe in the Norse religion or anything, 100% athiest so I don't really give a damn what happens to my body after I die (organ donor and all), I just think it'd be a pretty epic way to go, and if I do kick the bucket it will be a cool way to be remembered.

Any help would be much appreciated

better call saul

Dwaegon wrote: »

I have been planning to write a will as I'm a proper adult now. Does anyone know if a Viking funeral is feasible in Ireland. I've been trying to find out what the legality of such a situation would be or if there are any funeral homes that might facilitate such a request.

I'm talking being put in a small boat with some stuff I like, floated out on the water and having the boat set alight until it burns up my body and sinks.

I'm not a Viking or believe in the Norse religion or anything, 100% athiest so I don't really give a damn what happens to my body after I die (organ donor and all), I just think it'd be a pretty epic way to go, and if I do kick the bucket it will be a cool way to be remembered.

Any help would be much appreciated

I'll burn your corpse for a tenner

shruikan2553

I would imagine there would be problems with dumping a body in a natural water source. The fire would probably just make you a bit crispy.

I may be wrong but I would be surprised if it was allowed.

P_1

Sadly I think the only legal options in Ireland are burial or cremation (for public health reasons I think). I'd love to be sent out that way too.

Dwaegon

shruikan2553 wrote: »

I would imagine there would be problems with dumping a body in a natural water source. The fire would probably just make you a bit crispy.

I may be wrong but I would be surprised if it was allowed.

I am talking about the sea really. I'm not planning on doing it in a reservoir!

With that in mind, international waters and all... What's the law on taking a corpse to sea?

DeadHand

Waste of a fine boat.

Dwaegon

DeadHand wrote: »

Waste of a fine boat.

Damn fine use of a boat! My boat!

Anyway, I'll leave my boat to my corpse in my will under the condition that my body be put into it, set alight, and put in the water. Done.

P_1

DeadHand wrote: »

Waste of a fine boat.

You could make the same argument for coffins. Aparently you have to have a fancy wooden one for getting a cremation.

Chucken

Dwaegon wrote: »

and if I do kick the bucket

What do you mean if. Do you know something we don't know? :eek:

Lyaiera

I think the UK has designated sea burial grounds. You can be taken out with material around you, weighted down and dropped in these areas. Other ships and divers and that are supposed to avoid these zones.

Dwaegon

Chucken wrote: »

What do you mean if. Do you know something we don't know? :eek:

So far so good... no harm being optimistic!

Spanish Eyes

You might need to go to Denmark.

The origin of this. They might help you out. But no guarantees!

It wasn't me!

Giving a fcuk about the legalities isn't particularly Viking...

DeadHand

P_1 wrote: »

You could make the same argument for coffins. Aparently you have to have a fancy wooden one for getting a cremation.

Can't go fishin' in a coffin.

Dwaegon

Lyaiera wrote: »

I think the UK has designated sea burial grounds. You can be taken out with material around you, weighted down and dropped in these areas. Other ships and divers and that are supposed to avoid these zones.

Nah, it's gotta float until it's too burnt to float. I want to be good and crispified before I go under.

goose2005

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Giving a fcuk about the legalities isn't particularly Viking...

Actually in most of the Norse sagas they're pretty obsessed with laws, courts and suing each other - mostly because it was the only alternative to blood feuds.

Deank

DeadHand wrote: »

Can't go fishin' in a coffin.

http://roveprojects.com/images/SE-boat-coffin-08.jpg

Sauve

It's all good and well until a poor fisherman/diver/sailor comes across your charred head bobbing past or washed up ashore and the shítstorm begins.

Without a note attached saying "It's ok lads, I meant this to happen", you're looking at a search and rescue operation to find the rest of you, a lengthy identification process, an investigation by a lot of organisations into wtf is happening....

What I'm basically saying is just make sure there isn't a trace of you left

The Backwards Man

I ordered a stapler and a swivel chair of them once and got a permanent marker and a filing cabinet.

Wouldn't trust them.

Sauve

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I ordered a stapler and a swivel chair of them once and got a permanent marker and a filing cabinet.

Wouldn't trust them.

Yeah but you got the free tin of USA biscuits, right?

My name is URL

P_1 wrote: »

Sadly I think the only legal options in Ireland are burial or cremation (for public health reasons I think). I'd love to be sent out that way too.

I think you can be buried anywhere once you get permission. Most people just don't bother looking into it before they kick the bucket.

wendell borton

Sky burial on croke Patrick ftw.

the_syco

Suppose it comes down to how much money you have.

Not much; cremation on a boat that then sinks.
Bit more money; as above, but get yourself kitted out with a sword and clothes from the year 1200. And wear an up-to-date watch to confuse whoever finds ye.

Lots of money; Build a waterproof stone tomb, with your 4 inch thick steel coffin inside, with yourself with yourself wearing a full armour suit, and carrying a sword. Have it built on a wooden boat. And have the ship lit on fire near the Bermuda Triangle, so that the tomb inside the remains of a wooden ship confuses people. And finally, do so in complete secrecy, so that your remains gets put into a museum when someone finds ye :P

C.K Dexter Haven

I believe you should serve copious amounts of Harp Larger at a Viking funeral.

Lyaiera

Dwaegon wrote: »

Nah, it's gotta float until it's too burnt to float. I want to be good and crispified before I go under.

The could stick flares onto your corpse to burn you as you go down. It's easier to find flares by the ocean than it is to find a skilled archer at a few day's notice.

The Backwards Man

Sauve wrote: »

Yeah but you got the free tin of USA biscuits, right?

Fcuking postman must have ate them

Pumpkinseeds

I saw a Viking burial reenactment, (no body) on the boat, on the river Ouse in York, it was absolutely amazing.

Banjo String

Won't someone think of the wee man in the boat.

We've burnt ourselves out on zombies and now it's Vikings. Who knows what it'll be when you're done.

Cookie_Monster

get cremated and then (get someone to) put your ashes on a little model viking boat and burn that where you please.

GrumpyMe

The chances of you being anymore than badly bar-b-q'd, black on the outside - raw inside, before the boat sinks are very low. Crematoriums take +/- three hours in ideal conditions. A burning boat would struggle to reach the sustained temp needed.

Better alternative - get cremated ashore - put ashes in boat, light touch paper and retire...

The_Morrigan

OP are you looking to do this to the letter?

Cos y'know when the vikings did this they also shoved a daughter of the dead man on the boat too, she was burned alive.

nxbyveromdwjpg

This never actually happened, it's just a myth propagated by TV shows and fantasy shows.

It wouldn't work, an open fire like that wouldn't get hot enough to cremate the body so it'd just burn a bit then end up back at shore. Mare.

Going out like Hunter S Thompson (ashes shot into the sky out of a 150ft cannon) would be much better.

RDM_83 again

The_Morrigan wrote: »

OP are you looking to do this to the letter?

Cos y'know when the vikings did this they also shoved a daughter of the dead man on the boat too, she was burned alive.

Wasn't it a concubine/body slave or a wife.
Also there needs to a fair bit of ritual rape and stabbing by crones before hand.
In fact Norse paganism was a pretty horrible religion in general if you actually read about it but sure its not Christianity so it must be good :-\

Cheaper style viking burial just don't be buried East-West, job done.

Valetta

What's a proper adult?

The_Morrigan

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Wasn't it a concubine/body slave or a wife.
Also there needs to a fair bit of ritual rape and stabbing by crones before hand.
In fact Norse paganism was a pretty horrible religion in general if you actually read about it but sure its not Christianity so it must be good :-\

Cheaper style viking burial just don't be buried East-West, job done.

It was too early for the get her drunk and let the whole village rape her part of the story.

I've heard differing versions of what happens after that.....she is left alive on the boat, or stabbed to death, strangled, beaten to death.
Also the boat wasn't always burnt on water, it was often on land and then mounds of earth and stone put over the remains of the fire as a monument.

All very violent and horrible if I'm honest.

DundalkDuffman

wendell borton wrote: »

Sky burial on croke Patrick ftw.

FFS they'll show anything.

Pumpkinseeds

I'm having a woodland burial, that'll do me just fine, no church or priest involved. Just me, a few loved ones and a hole in the ground.

conorhal

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Giving a fcuk about the legalities isn't particularly Viking...

Errr... Mister Ragnar Thorbrook? Yah, I'm here from Enviornmental Health and Safety, before you light up that longship, I'm going to need to see you H&S compliance certificate, and you're going to have to have a word with this chap from the Department of The Enviornment about the carbon emission and enviornmental standards that you appear to be in breach of.....

billie1b

Dwaegon wrote: »

I am talking about the sea really. I'm not planning on doing it in a reservoir!

With that in mind, international waters and all... What's the law on taking a corpse to sea?

Sure give Obama a shout, they have experience, supposedly they buried Bin Laden at sea.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Basically, no, you can't. The fire doesn;t generate anywhere near enough heat to dispose of your body and no European country will allow you to dispose of a half-burnt body in it's waters.

International waters, however....

Failing that, what you could do is have yoruself cremated, then put the ashes in an urn and sail that on a raft out to sea.

Alun

I think they're still filming the latest series of The Vikings down at Lough Tay in the Wicklow Mountains, I'm sure they'd do a nixer for you if you asked nicely. Of course, there's the small matter of you not actually being dead yet, but I'm certain they could arrange that too if you wanted.