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Is it self defeatist to say that some men are meant to be alone??
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Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,144 Mod ✭✭✭✭
Join Date:Posts: 59073
*mind dump*
I'd say the same in the majority of cases. Though I have known overweight men and women(especially women) who objectively date "up". I think women can for a few reasons. 1) it is a sellers market to some degree and 2) quite a number of men actually prefer women who are heavier than the cultural ideal. That can vary from culture to culture too. I would say that Irish men are (contrary to popular) much less fixated on women's weight than say Latins, or some Eastern European cultures. I've personally seen this at work. A friend of an ex an Italian lass who was considered "heavy" by male Italian standards who rarely(and I mean rarely) got a look in back home was getting lots of interest in Ireland. She could barely believe it.I dont know a single overweight unattractive person who pulls "stunners".
Well there is that too. I've certainly seen pretty average women(and men) being described as "stunning" who were like I say objectively average. Sometimes it means; "not heavy, dresses well, not ugly. Blonde helps". Often it can mean "We've never really been around very good looking men and women and have only seen them as weird creatures in magazines and on billboards". They don't have that much to compare to as it were.Or else you have very different standards in what you consider "stunning" attractiveness.
Study after study has borne this one out. It usually involves taking a group of long term couples where they take a picture of each separately and get strangers to anonymously rate them in looks. And what is found in the majority of cases is that a "5" is with another "5" and a "9" is with a "9". You get 5's with 6's of course, but a 3 with a 9 is very rare. When it happens it's nearly always down to the men involved being wealthy or otherwise of a social standing that makes up the difference. People also tend to favour those with a similar social and educational background. The one area they look for difference in is immune system response(through smell and taste apparently).Check out the Matching Hypothesis, which suggests that people are more likely to form successful relationships with and express liking for people whose level of physical attractiveness roughly equals their own.
Height in men is a biggie. Again plenty of research bears this out. Sure short lads aren't out of the loop, but if you took a guy of a certain attractiveness, but he's 5 feet 4, add 6 inches and he'll get more attention.Daveysil15 wrote: »I don't think the height is as important though. I know a few stunning looking tall women who are going out with short guys, but they'd be good looking from the neck up and are sound blokes too.
While I would agree that a shítload of such stuff is more akin to bro science that particular one seems to have legs more than it doesn't and exceptions prove the rule kinda thing.I agree. This myth of a matching hypothesis is just some psychologists path to a PhD.
That would be me. Yay 0/ I get stuff right every so often. Then again with my longwinded rants it's more a case of an infinite amount of monkeys with an infinite amount of typewriters coming up with Shakespeare.The poster who talks about the night club scene is spot on. When your only interaction with the opposite sex is a fleeting glance ..... then only a numbskull can think that looks won't count for 99%. Duh ?
Agreed. Certainly if you're looking for a relationship. I've certainly known guys who could pull in a convent, but can't sustain an adult relationship much beyond a month.And when someone's only definition of success and happiness is 'pulling', then they are on the wrong track from the beginning.
That would be me again, but I ain't a woman. A common enough mistake in my time around here. Which is worrying. :eek:A woman has already posted here about beautiful women having desperate trouble finding partners.
Pretty much. It is very rare the man who can see beyond her face or arse and not be intimidated by that and not come across as a gimp.Some men continuously have a problem grasping this. It's hardly surprising is it ? She is burdened, yes burdened, by the power to pull any and every man who has the balls to approach her. But where does that lead ? it leads to thousands of empty hours with partners who they are completely incompatible with.
That's a part of it D. I'd say there are other factors too. For a start some men will relax around foreign women, simply because they're foreign and they have an image built up in their heads that they're less likely to be bitchy with them. So the guy comes across better. Plus success breeds success. For some reason, most likely a fluke, I have had much more success with Foreign women. I gel better with them for some reason. I get more attention too. Or is that me filtering what I know to be true subjectively and ignoring the objective reality around Irish women? So if 1 outa 10 foreign women show an interest I see it, but if 5 outa 10 Irish women do I ignore it? I'd say that's much closer to the truth.Daveysil15 wrote: »Probably, although I would argue it may be easier for some guys to meet foreign women because they're more approachable outside of the pub/club scene. That's what I've found from my own experience, although I was never a big drinker myself and I've worked with a lot of foreign women over the years which didn't do any harm as far as my dating options were concerned, so maybe that has something to do with it.
This is a worldwide meme with it. Get into any taxi anywhere in the world and you will get the same convos. "Jaysus the weather, eh?". "working long?". "Politicians are all bastards". "Local women ain't worth your time". I've heard that played all over the world in my time. Add in "oh I've heard women from [insert country here] are gorgeous and easy to get along with". Oh and more than once I've heard Irish women being referenced in that way. Seems to be something inbuilt to the male genome to seek out the different and exotic(goes for the ladies too to some degree). Makes sense as it makes for better gene exchange. So the next time an Irish bloke says something like "Italian women are perfect", go ask an Italian bloke and you'll see what I mean.
Very much so. Once someone builds up a particular worldview it can be a bugger to shift. After all people would rather be proven right than be happy.I completely agree with your first 2 sentences, especially the second. If the only way you're meeting women is in bars and clubs and a lot of them are bitches then it is going to taint your outlook and its very easy to get into a negative mindset. I'm guilty of doing this myself.
Yep I would tend to agree. It's rare enough I'd see a big disparity in overall attractiveness in a couple. Not just the physical either. So sometimes you'll meet a man who is a "5" in objective looks with a woman who is an "8", but hang out with them long enough and you can see him making up that 3 point difference in other ways.From my own observation I find that attraction is quite objective. When out with friends I can basically predict their chances of success based on their appearance relative to the woman they are pursuing (obviously, confidence and perceived status are factors here also). I know a lot of lads who would consider themselves to be dating up in terms of looks (because they like the girl) but in reality they're about on par.
Sure, but it is rare enough. For a start he is a very popular comedian in the UK, so has much larger social standing than some rugger bugger accountant from D4 she may have otherwise gone for. Though I doubt it, she comes across as a very clued in, bright and funny person and so is he on top of the other stuff.What about Maia Doherty and that morbidly obese comedian so?Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,144 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 59073
It does. In a big way. I've always been lucky in having really bloody good women mates. For a start it keeps you clear of the rocks of "all women are bitches". Doesn't really fly when you recall how many times your mates who happened to be women dug your arse outa the fire. And you hear their side of things and the gobshítes they've had to deal with. So you get a balance. Though I would say as a general rule their dating advice is usually dreadful.No. It hasn't happened yet unfortunately. Some guys do perfectly fine without any but I think having a couple of female friends would definitely help in some ways. If you're a mate they already like you, so will tend to back off with the honesty and tell you stuff you want to hear to gee up your spirits. Your hairy arsed bloke mates are more likely to tell you "you're an effin state, get a haircut and a shave hippie boy". Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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