Should I run or stay for sex

wazky

You're really in your jocks sitting on the couch and batin' your todger at the thought of even talking to a woman who didn't scream immediately at the sight of you, aren't you OP?

DeltaWhite

green_screen wrote: »

So... Op has gone from wanting a ONS with a crazy person, to falling for said crazy person and talking about a relationship, to coming back here and showing us texts from some other girl that wants to sleep with him.

You sound like a pretty nasty person, showing messages you receive on a public forum.

You said in a previous post you felt terrible for doing it, because girl 1 was actually amazing.

And yet you do it again with another girl.

Here's an idea - stop announcing each time you're offered sex. It's sad.

Pretty much everything green_screen said...

Have to say I'm so glad I'm in a relationship, all this "dating" sh!te that goes on is enough to make me vom.... Even if I ever did end up single, the LAST place I would go to is Tinder... fcuk that..

Penny Tration

Hey, AH, I'm getting sex tonight! And tomorrow, and the next day!

Is that how I do it?

Barely There

Darling, if you're reading this, I too am planning to have sex with you tonight, unless of course I'm too tired, in which case can we just have a nice mug of tea and watch an episode of Walking Dead?

Grab All Association

wazky wrote: »

You're really in your jocks sitting on the couch and batin' your todger at the thought of even talking to a woman who didn't scream immediately at the sight of you, aren't you OP?

I wish I had a couch. Two wooden chairs a mat and a TV in my sitting room


Anyway to those out there not getting any sex the secret to attracting girls is not Lynx. Be a total bastard talk like you have another 100 girls you could have right now. Tell her what you want to do with her sexually and that you won't settle for less than what you put on the table. Most girls deep down are submissive and will agree to this. The odd time you might get a feminists extremist or closeted lesbian. Boy do they go mental at you.

Also Craigslist casual encounters section. Yeah it's full of spam most days but sometimes there are genuine girls on it you just have to be quick. And most the genuine girls on it are DCU, UCD students or professionals so you ain't going to get disability cheque Ann who stinks of linden village cider. Anyway here I'm off to Castleconnell for the day.

Ed Winchester

Chris___ wrote: »

I wish I had a couch. Two wooden chairs a mat and a TV in my sitting room


Anyway to those out there not getting any sex the secret to attracting girls is not Lynx. Be a total bastard talk like you have another 100 girls you could have right now. Tell her what you want to do with her sexually and that you won't settle for less than what you put on the table. Most girls deep down are submissive and will agree to this. The odd time you might get a feminists extremist or closeted lesbian. Boy do they go mental at you.

Also Craigslist casual encounters section. Yeah it's full of spam most days but sometimes there are genuine girls on it you just have to be quick. And most the genuine girls on it are DCU, UCD students or professionals so you ain't going to get disability cheque Ann who stinks of linden village cider. Anyway here I'm off to Castleconnell for the day.

Don't knock it till you've tried it...

ibarelycare

Chris___ wrote: »

I wish I had a couch. Two wooden chairs a mat and a TV in my sitting room


Anyway to those out there not getting any sex the secret to attracting girls is not Lynx. Be a total bastard talk like you have another 100 girls you could have right now. Tell her what you want to do with her sexually and that you won't settle for less than what you put on the table. Most girls deep down are submissive and will agree to this. The odd time you might get a feminists extremist or closeted lesbian. Boy do they go mental at you.

Also Craigslist casual encounters section. Yeah it's full of spam most days but sometimes there are genuine girls on it you just have to be quick. And most the genuine girls on it are DCU, UCD students or professionals so you ain't going to get disability cheque Ann who stinks of linden village cider. Anyway here I'm off to Castleconnell for the day.

Please, tell us more

wampyrus77

well i hope get third base with a woman by halloween

Penny Tration

How cute, OP thinks he's a PUA because he's managed to bang two girls he spoke to on a hook up site.

Hook up sites are for sex, mate. No need to treat 'em mean, or do anything, really.

It's quite sad that you think you're such an expert on women, though.

TheSheriff

DeltaWhite wrote: »

Pretty much everything green_screen said...

Have to say I'm so glad I'm in a relationship, all this "dating" sh!te that goes on is enough to make me vom.... Even if I ever did end up single, the LAST place I would go to is Tinder... fcuk that..

Easy to say from the comfort of a relationship!

You just wait, tindr will get you eventually!

Penny Tration

The_Sheriff wrote: »

Easy to say from the comfort of a relationship!

You just wait, tindr will get you eventually!

Even when I was single and using dating sites, i couldn't bring myself to use Tindr :pac:

TheSheriff

green_screen wrote: »

Even when I was single and using dating sites, i couldn't bring myself to use Tindr :pac:

I have a housemate who has have unimaginable success on it I must say - it seems to be totally normal. He'd match with someone, then he was on his way to her house or she was coming over!!

Very casual stuff altogether.

I suppose you have to get it somewhere!

Penny Tration

The_Sheriff wrote: »

I have a housemate who has have unimaginable success on it I must say - it seems to be totally normal. He'd match with someone, then he was on his way to her house or she was coming over!!

Very casual stuff altogether.

I suppose you have to get it somewhere!

If I wanted casual hook ups, I'd say it'd be great, because I'm in the 'desired' age and gender category, but jaysus, I couldn't see myself being that desperate.

bear1

Craigslist?
The secret to getting sex OP is this.... now ssshhhh don't tell anyone... come closer..... listen carefully......















Is to actually engage with a woman face to face... then you move onto the better stuff like... oh I don't know, actually having sex?
Texting and posting your "macho" texts for the world to see is just about the saddest thing I've seen a man do in a long time.
Poor OP

The Backwards Man

Nothing worse than going to your wardrobe for a nice shirt and there's a lesbian lurking inside.

TheSheriff

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Nothing worse than going to your wardrobe for a nice shirt and there's a lesbian lurking inside.

This just made me spit out my coffee on the train roaring laughing - needless to say the person sitting opposite me is looking at me strange.

I am meant to be in the "quiet cabin"

DeltaWhite

The_Sheriff wrote: »

Easy to say from the comfort of a relationship!

You just wait, tindr will get you eventually!

To be reeeeeally honest here, I would prefer to pleasure myself rather than some creep coming over who I dont even know, or where he's been sticking his mickey... No thank you sir!

TheSheriff

DeltaWhite wrote: »

To be reeeeeally honest here, I would prefer to pleasure myself rather than some creep coming over who I dont even know, or where he's been sticking his mickey... No thank you sir!

Yeah I get that - and more power to you!

Im not really bothered by the seedy-ness of the whole thing, its more that there is so many women out there who are willing to have casual one nighters/one hour sessions!

It just goes against the normal stereotype that men are after one thing, when clearly a large proportion of women (at least in Dub) are after the exact same activities!

Penny Tration

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Nothing worse than going to your wardrobe for a nice shirt and there's a lesbian lurking inside.

I spat coffee and dropped my phone on the floor from laughing so hard at this

bear1

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Nothing worse than going to your wardrobe for a nice shirt and there's a lesbian lurking inside.

You told me I could stay there I'm male though so the insults aren't needed now :mad:

Ed Winchester

A lot of people seem to take large mouthfuls of coffee before reading posts on here...

Fat Christy

Chris___ wrote: »

I wish I had a couch. Two wooden chairs a mat and a TV in my sitting room


Anyway to those out there not getting any sex the secret to attracting girls is not Lynx. Be a total bastard talk like you have another 100 girls you could have right now. Tell her what you want to do with her sexually and that you won't settle for less than what you put on the table. Most girls deep down are submissive and will agree to this. The odd time you might get a feminists extremist or closeted lesbian. Boy do they go mental at you.

Also Craigslist casual encounters section. Yeah it's full of spam most days but sometimes there are genuine girls on it you just have to be quick. And most the genuine girls on it are DCU, UCD students or professionals so you ain't going to get disability cheque Ann who stinks of linden village cider. Anyway here I'm off to Castleconnell for the day.

Wow.

Penny Tration

Ed Winchester wrote: »

A lot of people seem to take large mouthfuls of coffee before reading posts on here...

If I'm at home, I'm generally drinking a lot of coffee!

TheSheriff

Ed Winchester wrote: »

A lot of people seem to take large mouthfuls of coffee before reading posts on here...

Its before 12!!

Coffee is all that can be consumed before this time

Brego888

Ah this guy Chris is golden. Please keep us informed of your next encounter.

Brego888

Ah this guy Chris is golden. Please keep us informed of your next encounter.

junior_apollo

I think someone mentioned earlier about how country women are like septic-tanks... I can definitely think of a few other containers of unwanted material after reading through this alright...

I would like to mention that although country women are indeed crazy.. they are definitely worth it... much better in the long term... the crazy wears off them over time haha... (or we just get used to it! )

Fat Christy

junior_apollo wrote: »

I think someone mentioned earlier about how country women are like septic-tanks... I can definitely think of a few other containers of unwanted material after reading through this alright...

I would like to mention that although country women are indeed crazy.. they are definitely worth it... much better in the long term... the crazy wears off them over time haha... (or we just get used to it! )

This just keeps getting better and better......

recylingbin

junior_apollo wrote: »

I think someone mentioned earlier about how country women are like septic-tanks... I can definitely think of a few other containers of unwanted material after reading through this alright...

I would like to mention that although country women are indeed crazy.. they are definitely worth it... much better in the long term... the crazy wears off them over time haha... (or we just get used to it! )

Isn't that what itinerants call non-caravan dwelling women?
Are you a kna...pik...gyp...traveller?

wampyrus77

i ve reading how do sex organisms, i cant wait to try them make a woman squirt from pussy during sex again

Esel

wampyrus77 wrote: »

i ve reading how do sex organisms, i cant wait to try them make a woman squirt from pussy during sex again

Be very, very careful with those organisms... :cool:

Say Your Number

I think the first girl discovered the OP was posting personal stuff about her on here then she cut off his willy and force fed it to him, now she has usurped his account and is posting typical laddish bullsh1t for the laugh.

Fat Christy

wampyrus77 wrote: »

i ve reading how do sex organisms, i cant wait to try them make a woman squirt from pussy during sex again

Hello?

ViveLaVie

Chris___ wrote: »

Anyway to those out there not getting any sex the secret to attracting girls is not Lynx. Be a total bastard.

Well you've got that down pretty well anyway OP.

Esel

Fat Christy wrote: »

Hello?

It's all about the prostrate gland, at the end of the lay.

Who needs enemas when you have friends like that?

fermanagh_man

And I thought Northen Women were mental

Fat Christy

Chris, do you not find it time consuming setting up 2 accounts and sending messages to yourself to pretend you're a playa on boards?

Czarcasm

Fat Christy wrote: »

Chris, do you not find it time consuming setting up 2 accounts and sending messages to yourself to pretend you're a playa on boards?

He's already got god knows how many phones sending messages back and forth between them so he can post up the screen captures on Boards!

I'm off to Ballinspittle today myself, ramblin' romeos be ramblin', romeoin' :pac:

zef

Multiple Phone Disorder indeed.

I bet he texts himself looking for the w**k.

Esel

zef wrote: »

Multiple Phone Disorder indeed.

I bet he texts himself looking for the w**k.

Work, yeah?

Oh, wait...

keith16

This is one of the funniest threads I've seen in a while. But also, in many other ways, one of the saddest.

Notorious97

Discovered this thread tonight, went through all 25 pages to discover a poorly put together wind up. At least put some effort into it OP like feeky did!

Disappointing altogether, standards of boards trolls is slipping unfortunately!

Please keep us all informed of which county you are off to next, or put pics up at least instead of the kik messenger screen shots please!

Ralf and Florian

So there was no crazy girl and yer man never got his hole?

Grab All Association

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

So there was no crazy girl and yer man never got his hole?

Oh there was lol her uncle is super creepy.

eamonnq

Chris___ wrote: »

Oh there was lol her uncle is super creepy.

Now that proves it is all true.

End of thread, nothing more to see here, move along now ladies and gents, thank you.

For Forks Sake

wampyrus77 wrote: »

i ve reading how do sex organisms, i cant wait to try them make a woman squirt from pussy during sex again

First, you'll need some butter......

blade1

keith16 wrote: »

This is one of the funniest threads I've seen in a while. But also, in many other ways, one of the saddest.

Forget about sad bit and concentrate on the funny!

Fallschirmjager

Popcorn, check
Beer, check
Something sugary, check
Bunny boiler hot babe, check
Desperate guy looking for sex, check


Now awaiting the inevitable castration post.....


Also where did she goto school, fuk me that some terrible spelling in her sms. Although probably hard to type with a voodoo doll in the other hand..

IvaBigWun

I started reading this in the middle of a Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia binge and found it to be even funnier than that. Even if its all bollíx (and I think it is) its still one of the most hilarious things Ive read on Boards.

Can we make this a sticky?

Can we give Chris his own subforum?

Donald73

Has OP admitted it was all a windup yet?