Man comes out to family about being Gay, does not go well

Augmerson

Apologies if a thread exists on here already about this. Here is the video. I think this issue is relevant right now because not too long we will be having a referendum on same-sex marriage in 2015.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1df_i26wh-w

Now, I am not entirely sure it's the right thing to do to make a video like this. It may well be that the guy did it to shame his family. It's a pretty lousy response to a man opening up to his family about who he is.

I knew the second I heard the guy's voice he was gay. That it was any surprise to his family must be a sign of their denial about the issue the entire time. It's pretty awful to see their reaction and that they would go as far as to disown their own son because his sexuality doesn't agree with their own faith. I think the people in the video are from the US, maybe the southern part.

Sadly I imagine it could happen here too. If I had a son and he turned out gay, I'd admit to being disappointed for him, not because of him. The world is still holding on bitterly to outdated preconceptions regarding sexuality. I'd like to imagine a world where he could not suffer any social stigma because of who he is and I know there would be many, many people out there who would be ok with him but there would also be many others who would not be. Who cares who you love? It shouldn't be like that.

What does the Boards think? Has anyone ever experienced anything like that or known someone who has?

Spear

You need to remove the = sign from the value in the tags.

Augmerson

Spear wrote: »

You need to remove the = sign from the value in the tags.

Sorry about that! Should be viewable now!

calanus

I'm not able to go find it right away but this did pop up on reddit early today and the OP knew a bit about the situation. This isn't him coming out but more of a family intervention.....or more accurately giving him an ultimatum. Go to one of those pray the gay away camps or leave this house until you can learn not to be gay.

The Backwards Man

Augmerson wrote: »

I knew the second I heard the guy's voice he was gay.

Did he use a secret codeword or something?

Holsten

His mother says she knew he was gay when he was a child and then says it's his choice?!?!

Madness in this day and age.

They kicked him out and probably done him a favor, who needs family like that.. jesus!

steddyeddy

Amazing how people who call themselves Christians are so quick to hate people because of who they are.

Augmerson

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Did he use a secret codeword or something?

He does sound a bit camp, to me at least. I don't know if that's the word that is used anymore or is considered offensive by the gay community but I don't know any other word.

Tail Docker

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Did he use a secret codeword or something?

It's "fabulous". I googled it. Google knows all.

The Backwards Man

steddyeddy wrote: »

Amazing how people who call themselves Christians are so quick to hate people because of who they are.

Bigots call themselves lots of things. Doesn't stop them being bigots.

LiamKK1982

I think he knew right well how they would react & wanted a reaction to shove on youtube. They sound like they're from one of the red states like Alabama, very stupid thing to do is to come out in one of those places!!

Duggy747

I think he's gotten around $12,00 in donations so far.

CiDeRmAn

steddyeddy wrote: »

Amazing how people who call themselves Christians are so quick to hate people because of who they are.

They tend to be more isn't the Old Testament stuff rather than the forgiveness and respect seen in the New Testament and the current pope.

I wonder if he was coming out as a wife beater would they be so outraged?

Links234

LiamKK1982 wrote: »

I think he knew right well how they would react & wanted a reaction to shove on youtube.

or more likely, he wanted a record of it in case things got seriously violent

steddyeddy

CiDeRmAn wrote: »

They tend to be more isn't the Old Testament stuff rather than the forgiveness and respect seen in the New Testament and the current pope.

I wonder if he was coming out as a wife beater would they be so outraged?

It's not a moral compass it's just brainwashing.

The Adversary

What a fcuking bitch!

"I believe the word of my invisible sky fairy over scientific proof"

That statement sums it all up really. Religion is a poison.

My name is URL

"You go with all the scientific stuff you want to. I'm going with the word of God"

No point in even trying to reason with someone when that is their starting point.

Little CuChulainn

Sounds like his sexuality isn't the only issue between them.

KungPao

Religion really brings out the best in people eh?

I can picture the queer-hating blokes with mullets and shotguns, and a pickup 'out biyak' with a confederate flag on the window.

Uriel.

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

Sounds like his sexuality isn't the only issue between them.

It's sounds like a fairly destructive family generally to be a part of.

He'd be better going his own way in life and just getting on with things rather than trying to change them or getting into confrontational circumstances.

Uriel.

KungPao wrote: »

Religion really brings out the best in people eh?

I can picture the queer-hating blokes with mullets and shotguns, and a pickup 'out biyak' with a confederate flag on the window.

Hey take it easy on the confeds, they just wanted to be different

stefan idiot jones

KungPao wrote: »

Religion really brings out the best in people eh?

I can picture the queer-hating blokes with mullets and shotguns, and a pickup 'out biyak' with a confederate flag on the window.

Are we talking about West Cork?

deseil

Why families or anyone for that matter should be interested or concerned about who someone has sex with is beyond me.

I couldn't give 2 craps who my kids or family have sex with, its none of my business, as long as their happy and not hurting anyone who cares.

It must be so annoying to be anything other than straight, where your expected to "come out" and tell everyone in sundry about something as private as who you like to have sex with.

darced

This post has been deleted.

SpaceTime

When you think about it, it's not much different to the horror stories you hear from this country in the past when some girl went home and told the folks she was pregnant and suddenly got dragged out kicking and screaming to the nearest Magdalene laundry by upstanding, pillar of the community type parents.

There are few things worse than keeping-up-appearances "Christians" who really only care that someone's going to think less of them because their kid is gay or a single mom or whatever their particular hang up(s) happen(s) to be.

Knuckle-dragging, conformist, bullying hypocrites is all they are really.

Nasty situation though and hopefully he's OK. I'm glad he's not a kid though, at least he should be able to stand on his own two feet, although if he's in university or something that could be a major career altering mess too, especially in the US.

P_1

Wow doesn't that family seem like a thoroughly delightful and decent bunch of well balanced individuals don't they?

Bloody religion has caused far to much grief hasn't it?

Little CuChulainn

Uriel. wrote: »

It's sounds like a fairly destructive family generally to be a part of.

He'd be better going his own way in life and just getting on with things rather than trying to change them or getting into confrontational circumstances.

I wouldn't say it's all one sided to be honest. Anyone who brings a camera to a family conversation and, from the sounds of it, berates their own parents on Facebook sounds like a dick to me. I presume there's more background to it all. I wonder if the new pope will make a comment. He's very up on current events.

DazMarz

On his funding page, he set a target of $2,000 17 hours ago...

Currently sitting on $19,440.

Hopefully he can get a new life started with that!

MRnotlob606

This will be turned into a into a religion bashing thread. Oh we don't have many of those.Can we not look at this in a more natural way and condemn her as a human being and stop using religion as a scapegoat ? I mean its her own son she is disowning, Some people in the world reject their own beliefs if its in contrast with what they love and hold dear to them. I mean If I had a son and he was gay and I condemned him you can't blame religion , you would have to blame me.

Dingle_berry

SpaceTime wrote: »

When you think about it, it's not much different to the horror stories you hear from this country in the past when some girl went home and told the folks she was pregnant and suddenly got dragged out kicking and screaming to the nearest Magdalene laundry by upstanding, pillar of the community type parents.

Sure she was only attention seeking by telling her parents, rubbing it in their faces. She probably continued her attention seeking by complaining about the conditions in the mother and baby "homes". Probably showed disrespect to her parents by not forgiving them for dumping her there to preserve their standing in the community.

That's the equivalent of the responses here saying "drama queen" "filming it = attention seeking / poking the bear" etc Saying things like there must be more behind it or "I knew he was gay as soon as I heard him" are the same as deciding that the woman in the above scenario is a "loose" woman.

It's not OK for parents to treat a child like that. The video seems to start after the conversation has taken a bad turn. Why do people assume that he is prodding them for a reaction to film for YouTube instead of the possibility that he's recording to protect himself?

Dyr

Well I have to say I'm shocked considering the accents

Dingle_berry

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

This will be turned into a into a religion bashing thread. Oh we don't have many of those.Can we not look at this in a more natural way and condemn her as a human being and stop using religion as a scapegoat ? I mean its her own son she is disowning, Some people in the world reject their own beliefs if its in contrast with what they love and hold dear to them. I mean If I had a son and he was gay and I condemned him you can't blame religion , you would have to blame me.

Religion is her reference for justifying her reaction. Her religion has taught her to react in that way, against the "natural" parental instincts. That's why people will condemn religion.

keith16

P_1 wrote: »

Wow doesn't that family seem like a thoroughly delightful and decent bunch of well balanced individuals don't they?

Bloody religion has caused far to much grief hasn't it?

Bottom line is you're right. But, plenty of people lead religious lives and are at the same time, are understanding, tolerant and even supportive of other peoples decisions.

Ultimately, these people are idiots with whom religion has found good company. I would say stupid people cause far too much grief.

I'm rambling now but I am also hammered.

Remmy

just watched it, the poor chap. It must be horrible to have your parents turn on you like that. You would swear he was after telling them he was a rapist or a pedophile.

My name is URL

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

I wouldn't say it's all one sided to be honest. Anyone who brings a camera to a family conversation and, from the sounds of it, berates their own parents on Facebook sounds like a dick to me. I presume there's more background to it all. I wonder if the new pope will make a comment. He's very up on current events.

It was an intervention. Calling it a family conversation is rather kind.. and makes them sound like a reasonable and sophisticated bunch of people.

Riddle101

Shocking and disturbing video, but there's something that interests me. Did that guy actually go on facebook and possibly ridicule and criticize his dad? I don't condone the parents' actions towards their son, but I feel that something he said on facebook sparked this incident. It does come off like he provoked them.

keith16

DazMarz wrote: »

On his funding page, he set a target of $2,000 17 hours ago...

Currently sitting on $19,440.

Hopefully he can get a new life started with that!

I dunno, this sort of stuff makes me a bit cynical. Guy posts a video and then also has a funding page. Maybe I'm wrong, I can't be arsed watching the video. But plenty of people have had rejection in their lives. This guys sticks it on the internet and the world gives him 20k? Hmmm...

Obviously I could be completely wrong and am prepared to eat my words.

Fudge You

Bambi wrote: »

Well I have to say I'm shocked considering the accents

Where are they from? Navan?

Remmy

Fudge You wrote: »

Where are they from? Navan?

somewhere bible belty

hmmm

There's no "religion bashing" by people in this thread. Religion is doing the bashing all by itself.

krudler

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

This will be turned into a into a religion bashing thread. Oh we don't have many of those.Can we not look at this in a more natural way and condemn her as a human being and stop using religion as a scapegoat ? I mean its her own son she is disowning, Some people in the world reject their own beliefs if its in contrast with what they love and hold dear to them. I mean If I had a son and he was gay and I condemned him you can't blame religion , you would have to blame me.

But she says herself her religion is the reason why she can't agree with his "life choice". This is what happens when people take their morals from a book written in the bronze age.

Crumpets

keith16 wrote: »

I dunno, this sort of stuff makes me a bit cynical. Guy posts a video and then also has a funding page. Maybe I'm wrong, I can't be arsed watching the video. But plenty of people have had rejection in their lives. This guys sticks it on the internet and the world gives him 20k? Hmmm...

Obviously I could be completely wrong and am prepared to eat my words.

Well the poor lad did just get kicked out of his house by his own parents.

And whether he's seeking attention or not, the way I see it his family are complete arseholes and deserve to be shamed.

Talib Fiasco

Shocking reaction from the family and you'd feel sorry for him but I also think he's an attention seeking guy with a serious attitude problem as well. He doesn't come across well on that video either. I wish him the best of luck and all but I can't help but feel this is just attention whoring.

Augmerson

keith16 wrote: »

I dunno, this sort of stuff makes me a bit cynical. Guy posts a video and then also has a funding page. Maybe I'm wrong, I can't be arsed watching the video. But plenty of people have had rejection in their lives. This guys sticks it on the internet and the world gives him 20k? Hmmm...

Obviously I could be completely wrong and am prepared to eat my words.

I'm also slightly cynical but there's a lot I don't know. This guy might be turfed out on the street with no job and nowhere to live, and in the US the social welfare only last a few months and then it's gone forever I think.

I would imagine that lots of other people have been left in destitute positions after their families bailed on them in situations like this and they had to cope by themselves or had help from loyal friends or understanding people. It could be done.

I kind of think that these funds were people can donate should stop once they've achieved the set amount too. But that's none of my business.

keith16

Crumpets wrote: »

Well the poor lad did just get kicked out of his house by his own parents.

And whether he's seeking attention or not, the way I see it his family are complete arseholes and deserve to be shamed.

Plenty more poor lads getting kicked out of their gaffs all around the world. Many of them don't have the benefit of a crowdsourced 20k. A lot of money.

Many more have the humility to walk away from their family without shouting about in such a public way.

I agree his family are asses but....so what? Why should I go on to his page and donate?

tigger123

What an incredible way to treat a loved one. He's better off without them.

keith16

Augmerson wrote: »

I'm also slightly cynical but there's a lot I don't know. This guy might be turfed out on the street with no job and nowhere to live, and in the US the social welfare only last a few months and then it's gone forever I think.

I would imagine that lots of other people have been left in destitute positions after their families bailed on them in situations like this and they had to cope by themselves or had help from loyal friends or understanding people. It could be done.

I kind of think that these funds were people can donate should stop once they've achieved the set amount too. But that's none of my business.

Yeah look, I tend to agree. It's not that I'm begrudging him specifically, but here is a guy who happens to have a viral video. What about the doubtless countless others in the same position who lacked the foresight or had the decency not to record the confrontation? Where's their handout?

The_Valeyard

Gets popcorn

Waits for the religion bashing folks to arrive with the pitchforks and blame all of religion for the actions of these narowminded people.

krudler

keith16 wrote: »

Yeah look, I tend to agree. It's not that I'm begrudging him specifically, but here is a guy who happens to have a viral video. What about the doubtless countless others in the same position who lacked the foresight or had the decency not to record the confrontation? Where's their handout?

I'd agree, it's a sh1tty situation but 20 grand?

keith16

krudler wrote: »

But she says herself her religion is the reason why she can't agree with his "life choice". This is what happens when people take their morals from a book written in the bronze age.

I disagree with you here. You conveniently accept one part of what she is saying while (rightly) dismissing the rest of it as idiocy.

She is talking 100% bollox. The part where she says "cos of religion" doesn't make her right in that specific instance.

Crumpets

keith16 wrote: »

Plenty more poor lads getting kicked out of their gaffs all around the world. Many of them don't have the benefit of a crowdsourced 20k. A lot of money.

Many more have the humility to walk away from their family without shouting about in such a public way.

I agree his family are asses but....so what? Why should I go on to his page and donate?

Fair point. Everybody handles things differently I guess. Maybe he was just looking for support, or maybe he was looking for attention. But either way, it must feel pretty shiit to be disowned by your own family because of who you are.