Man comes out to family about being Gay, does not go well

Czarcasm

dark crystal wrote: »

House rules are one thing, but not allowing your children to express any differing opinions and expecting them to conform to your own standards is quite another. I know not of one household where grown children are expected not to have any opinions of their own. They are adults in their own rights, not mindless puppets. Not every child will grow up to have exactly the same views and belief systems of their parents; that would make them mere clones.

I agree with you, but I was being equally as facetious as you were in your extremes. House rules are generally set down by the parents, because they own the bloody house. It's theirs. They have every right to tell their children what does and doesn't go, and as adults their sons or daughters are expected to behave like mature adults and not behave like spoilt brats when they don't get their own way.

Recording their family arguments, who does that? Certainly mature adults don't do it, and they don't go on about their mothers uterus nonsense either. That's just tasteless shock and drama tactics and no effort made to come to any sort of understanding.

This man is gay and when he refused to be shamed or bullied into praying the gay away, his family cut him off, yet he's somehow in the wrong? It's 2014 and unless people like him stand up to bigotry and prejudice, we'd still be living in 1954, which is what some people here seem to want. Respect your elders - be seen but not heard. What's that quote from The Shawshank Redemption made by the warden....

He wasn't standing up to bigotry and prejudice, he was being a stroppy little jerk. It doesn't matter what year it is, if a person who is expected to behave like a mature adult behaves the way he does towards his parents, I have no issue with them introducing him to the door (ok maybe open it before they throw him out on his ass, I wouldn't be quite that cruel, tempting and all as it might be!).

"I believe in two things; discipline and the bible. Here you'll receive both. Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me"

That's not bad, I have it copied to my notes for future use.

This thread makes me really bloody sad.

It really shouldn't. Spoilt brats with a fierce sense of entitlement always existed. Thankfully they've always been in a minority, or we would've gone to shìt as a society millennia ago.

Czarcasm

Corkfeen wrote: »

Parents treating their offspring decently is like putting them in a bubble.. If a person called him 'queer' in a workplace or told him to pretend that he isn't gay for the sake of the reputation of a company, it would be classified as some fairly extreme discrimination.I feel you're one of these people who hates the classification of hate crimes...

Yes, there are laws to prevent discrimination in the workplace, which has nothing to do with home life though. I'm not bothered either way by the classification of hate crimes as they're not very effective in educating society and fostering understanding among people. They also don't protect vulnerable people, they just mean that discrimination and hatred between people becomes more insidious.

Last time I checked though, telling your adult offspring what behaviour you were and weren't going to tolerate in your own home didn't constitute a hate crime, unless you're egging for a dystopian society. I don't think anyone wants that.

Stop this bull**** of saying they're not the only people who suffer. I think most people get that but when your parents are responsible for it and could easily have avoided it,that's utterly horrible. For example I suffer from depression, I'm not gay but I was bullied for significant portions of my life. Your logic appears to be that it should be an event I appreciate in my life because they prepared me for the big bad world. They did not, nobody has treated me as badly as those people in school did. It left me with unnecessary struggles but I am glad that my family were not responsible for it.

I don't think it's bullshìt to point out that people who perceive themselves as members of minority groups aren't the only people who have suffered. Your own experience being a case in point. If these members of minority groups don't want to be treated differently, then they shouldn't expect special treatment. Parents telling their adult offspring what they will and won't accept in their own home isn't discrimination.

You also did imply I piss on people's religious beliefs because I don't think they should treat their children like crap because of them... You said hate that I would teach my own children to have hateful views. :rolleyes:

Yeah, that was only one bloody post which is why I said I wasn't referring to you specifically. There are people though that will instill their hatred of religion in their children and there's no getting away from that reality either.

Corkfeen

Except I view my treatment as unacceptable but I also view their treatment as unacceptable. However you constantly veer away from actually criticising the parent's actions. I think most people would agree it's a terrible example from parents. They allow their bigotry to define their relationship with their son. Now, I'm done with you.

krudler

Czarcasm wrote: »

I didn't mean you specifically Corkfeen, I meant our hillbilly science guy in the video in the OP who knew full well that his family wouldn't be swayed by his scientific brilliance.

you keep going on about hillbilly science, all the guy says is that he didnt choose to be gay, which he didn't. Unless you think people chose their sexuality as well?

You can be gay just don't do gay things I suppose?

Czarcasm

Corkfeen wrote: »

Except I view my treatment as unacceptable but I also view their treatment as unacceptable. However you constantly veer away from actually criticising the parent's actions. I think most people would agree it's a terrible example from parents. They allow their bigotry to define their relationship with their son. Now, I'm done with you.

I'm not constantly veering away from actually criticizing the parents actions! How many times have I said you put a bunch of dicks in a room, and shìt is gonna go down! I've also said the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I've said I abhor violence in any form. How much more needs to be said about the obvious fact that the parents behaved appallingly?

Really like, it's bloody obvious that they behaved appallingly and that shouldn't need to be spelled out. It also shouldn't need to be spelled out that in my opinion that were all as bad as each other, only the parents weren't recording it and goading anyone into reacting violently the way they did.

The son knew it and expected it and wanted to get it on camera. He got what he wanted, plus another $70k and internet infamy into the bargain. Not bad for an uneducated hillbilly who wanted to make shìt of his parents who raised him for 20 years and that's how he pays them back.

Czarcasm

krudler wrote: »

you keep going on about hillbilly science, all the guy says is that he didnt choose to be gay, which he didn't. Unless you think people chose their sexuality as well?

You can be gay just don't do gay things I suppose?

No need to try reading my mind krudler, nor to put words in my mouth either.

krudler

Czarcasm wrote: »

I'm not constantly veering away from actually criticizing the parents actions! How many times have I said you put a bunch of dicks in a room, and shìt is gonna go down! I've also said the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I've said I abhor violence in any form. How much more needs to be said about the obvious fact that the parents behaved appallingly?

Really like, it's bloody obvious that they behaved appallingly and that shouldn't need to be spelled out. It also shouldn't need to be spelled out that in my opinion that were all as bad as each other, only the parents weren't recording it and goading anyone into reacting violently the way they did.

The son knew it and expected it and wanted to get it on camera. He got what he wanted, plus another $70k and internet infamy into the bargain. Not bad for an uneducated hillbilly who wanted to make shìt of his parents who raised him for 20 years and that's how he pays them back.

you've done nothing but defend them since your first post, moving the goalposts now I see.

krudler

Czarcasm wrote: »

No need to try reading my mind krudler, nor to put words in my mouth either.

So what exactly is the "hillbilly science" part? He just said he didn't choose to be gay. And he's right.

Czarcasm

krudler wrote: »

you've done nothing but defend them since your first post, moving the goalposts now I see.

Saying I understand why they reacted the way they did is not defending their behaviour. Most posters here seem to be defending the son's behaviour, and in my opinion his behaviour was just as understandable and as appalling as his parents behaviour.

Czarcasm

krudler wrote: »

So what exactly is the "hillbilly science" part? He just said he didn't choose to be gay. And he's right.

He's from Georgia, they're generally known as hillbillies (or rednecks, as someone referring to the parents mentioned earlier), and he was arguing science with people who only understood religion. It doesn't take a genius to work out that's never going to go down well.

UCDVet

I think people are a bit too hard on the religious folk out there. If you REALLY BELIEVED the eternal soul of your child was at risk, you'd probably fight really hard to save them. While some religious texts don't specifically speak out against homosexuality, a lot of churches have. And for most religious people, they depend on the church to provide wisdom/insight/interpretation for the holy texts. Lots of people don't even speak/read the language their holy texts were written in, so it really is important.

Imagine if you were told, for your whole life, that something is wrong. And that it shouldn't be done. And that it was a sin. And then, imagine for the last 10 years or so, you hear about it being popular with young people. Odds are, that isn't going to change your stance any.

I'm all for equal rights and gay marriage and all that jazz. But I know a lot of people who support gays because it's a really popular stance to take. They are every bit as close-minded and bigoted in other situations because they haven't been acclimated to the idea. Anything that involves consenting adults that you think is morally wrong and are against....it's pretty much that.

Cannibalism, face tattoos, weed, LSD, polygamy, incest, pornography, prostitution, you name it. If your stance is anything other than 'Well, consenting adults can decide', you're train of thought isn't any different than those who shun gays and gay marriage. You just have a different list of arbitrary rules or have arbitrarily decided that some lifestyles are better 'for society'.

RedemptionZ

Czarcasm wrote: »

Saying I understand why they reacted the way they did is not defending their behaviour. Most posters here seem to be defending the son's behaviour, and in my opinion his behaviour was just as understandable and as appalling as his parents behaviour.

Don't see how you can even equate his 'appalling' behaviour to that of his parents, all he did was record his parents being themselves and said a bad word or two. His parents kicked him out of his house specifically because he was gay and they didn't want neighbours thinking they accepted gays.

Czarcasm wrote: »

He's from Georgia, they're generally known as hillbillies (or rednecks, as someone referring to the parents mentioned earlier), and he was arguing science with people who only understood religion. It doesn't take a genius to work out that's never going to go down well.

Hillbilly is fairly derogatory, I think you know that and are using the term to in some way discredit the man, while arguing with a brick wall, is still arguing with his parents, god forbid you try to convince them you're not an abomination to god a little harder than you would a random religious nut on the street.

Export

Czarcasm wrote: »

It's not unreasonable at all ST, but in his parents own home, where he was raised for the last 20 years, is it unreasonable of his parents to expect that he should respect them if he wants their respect?

He's an adult at this stage, not a child any more. He's a bit too grown up now to be expecting the whole love and cuddles from his parents. He's expected to behave like a mature adult and not a spoilt child when he doesn't get his own way.

Ye, maybe his being homosexual was him being an immature ****.
No mature adult would be at this craic.
As always, I blame the parents for not giving him enough cuddles.

ARE YOU ACTUALLY FOR REAL OR TAKING THE PISS??

Export

UCDVet wrote: »

I think people are a bit too hard on the religious folk out there. If you REALLY BELIEVED the eternal soul of your child was at risk, you'd probably fight really hard to save them. While some religious texts don't specifically speak out against homosexuality, a lot of churches have. And for most religious people, they depend on the church to provide wisdom/insight/interpretation for the holy texts. Lots of people don't even speak/read the language their holy texts were written in, so it really is important.

Imagine if you were told, for your whole life, that something is wrong. And that it shouldn't be done. And that it was a sin. And then, imagine for the last 10 years or so, you hear about it being popular with young people. Odds are, that isn't going to change your stance any.

I'm all for equal rights and gay marriage and all that jazz. But I know a lot of people who support gays because it's a really popular stance to take. They are every bit as close-minded and bigoted in other situations because they haven't been acclimated to the idea. Anything that involves consenting adults that you think is morally wrong and are against....it's pretty much that.

Cannibalism, face tattoos, weed, LSD, polygamy, incest, pornography, prostitution, you name it. If your stance is anything other than 'Well, consenting adults can decide', you're train of thought isn't any different than those who shun gays and gay marriage. You just have a different list of arbitrary rules or have arbitrarily decided that some lifestyles are better 'for society'.

Some people can think for themselves. My grandmother has no problem with her homosexual grand-daughter.
My grandmother is the same age as the bould queen .
Some people are bigots, end of story.
You can not 'teach' tolerance, when their daily/weekly place of guidance will teach intolerance.

Export

Czarcasm wrote: »

I don't support people pissing all over other people's religious beliefs when they don't suit them.

They weren't throwing him out because of his sexuality. They told him first of all they couldn't support his chosen lifestyle which was in contravention of their religious beliefs. He couldn't take it and instead went into a waffle about science, knowing it would get him nowhere and only antagonise an already tense situation. That's being a dick and a shìt stirrer and while you have no time for one, I have no time for the other.

This has nothing to do with race, and I'm not OK with bigotry and intolerance of religion either and the lives it ruins.

Their house, their rules, and the brat couldn't handle it. He won't fare very well in the real world once the money runs out.

Your views are ridiculous to me. I will leave it at that.

EunanMac

I had a look at the video. Depressing stuff.

IMO, both parties deserve one another they way they are carrying on.

manyoung

UCDVet wrote: »

I think people are a bit too hard on the religious folk out there. If you REALLY BELIEVED the eternal soul of your child was at risk, you'd probably fight really hard to save them. While some religious texts don't specifically speak out against homosexuality, a lot of churches have. And for most religious people, they depend on the church to provide wisdom/insight/interpretation for the holy texts. Lots of people don't even speak/read the language their holy texts were written in, so it really is important.

Imagine if you were told, for your whole life, that something is wrong. And that it shouldn't be done. And that it was a sin. And then, imagine for the last 10 years or so, you hear about it being popular with young people. Odds are, that isn't going to change your stance any.

I have a very simplistic belief in religion, meaning I believe in God but have no real knowledge of the Bible or many of the principles of the religion. However, I do know that the basic foundation of many religions is to be tolerant of others, in other words, to live and let live.

I see what you mean about those folk that really believe their kid needs saving, but if those parents in the video gave up, should they at least just let then live as the guy live as he wishes without disowning him? Live and let live essentially?

Export

My Granny, same age as the auld queen, adores me, and my 'bastard' child. She adores my daughter more than any other grand-child probably. This woman spends about 2 hours per day, praying. Catholic religion. My daughter is mixed race and I swear my Nanna loves her more than any of the rest of her 'pure white' grandchildren.

Why? Because my daughter is well reared and a loveable child.

NightOfTheHunt

Thankfully this kind of radical belief that homosexuality is evil is not as prevalent among younger generations. It appears most who hold these views are from older generations. Hopefully they will just fade away along with their moronic opinions. Or am I way off the mark here..

retro:electro

I'd heard about the video and was prepared to be maddened and sickened by the parents actions, but after watching it I actually just felt sad for everyone involved to be honest. Tbh I don't understand why people are giving him money, like he's gay not disabled, get a job.

Export

NightOfTheHunt wrote: »

Thankfully this kind of radical belief that homosexuality is evil is not as prevalent among younger generations. It appears most who hold these views are from older generations. Hopefully they will just fade away along with their moronic opinions. Or am I way off the mark here..

My Granny, a devout Catholic, aged 88, embraces her Lesbian grand-daughter and her mixed race great-grand-daughter.
I don't think you can predict who will think in a certain way.

Export

Apparently, I remind my aunt of her mother, the famous Granny. Thin as a whip, working like a Trojan, with a 'fag' permanently hanging out of my mouth. Hahah, morto, when I was caught in THAT photo.

jank

Over $85k so raised so far.
Why does he need this fund anyway? Can he not do what everyone else does when they move out of home i.e get a job to support himself?
Would not surprise me if the whole thing was a scam.

B.A._Baracus

jank wrote: »

Over $85k so raised so far.
Why does he need this fund anyway? Can he not do what everyone else does when they move out of home i.e get a job to support himself?
Would not surprise me if the whole thing was a scam.

Here is the kicker. He already has a job.

Export

I think he's donating it to the 'Fund of the qware gays'.

Their motto is 'Trying to understand what makes us this qware'

Export

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Here is the kicker. He already has a job.

No way - How could he?

B.A._Baracus

Export wrote: »

No way - How could he?

Sarcasm?

Export

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Sarcasm?

Yes.

B.A._Baracus

Export wrote: »

Yes.

Foolish of me of course. I admit to being naive with that post.
You are yet another person who thinks everyone is a homophobe who doesnt agree with your opinion.

Ah sure he needs to 85 grand for a place. Even tho he has a job.

shruikan2553

I'm sure we would all be turning down 85k if it was offered to us.

Export

I'm baffled.

jank

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Here is the kicker. He already has a job.

So, he is well on his way to buying his own house. Fair play to him but some people are idiots for donating.

qdawg86

anna080 wrote: »

I'd heard about the video and was prepared to be maddened and sickened by the parents actions, but after watching it I actually just felt sad for everyone involved to be honest. Tbh I don't understand why people are giving him money, like he's gay not disabled, get a job.

He deserves the money......anyone who has had to endure a life like that deserves a bit of luck.

Imagine everyone in your family turning their backs on you.

Just awful.......also many disabled people are in employment so I don't know why you are making reference to that.

PeteFalk78

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Bigots call themselves lots of things. Doesn't stop them being bigots.

Intolerance of another persons religious beliefs defines bigotry also.

Just so you know...............

Czarcasm

RedemptionZ wrote: »

Don't see how you can even equate his 'appalling' behaviour to that of his parents, all he did was record his parents being themselves and said a bad word or two. His parents kicked him out of his house specifically because he was gay and they didn't want neighbours thinking they accepted gays.

Hillbilly is fairly derogatory, I think you know that and are using the term to in some way discredit the man, while arguing with a brick wall, is still arguing with his parents, god forbid you try to convince them you're not an abomination to god a little harder than you would a random religious nut on the street.

You're able to play down what this guy did, yet you'll pull me up on using the word hillbilly?

It's no wonder you don't see why I would have an issue with his behaviour when you think all he did was use a few 'bad words'. He called his mother a bitch ffs. Why should any parent have to listen to their son call them a bitch? He tried to make out his parents religious beliefs were irrelevant, in their own home. He has absolutely no respect for his parents, so whether you disagree with me or not, that's why I see him as just as bad as the parents.

The whole clip was like something you'd see on Jerry Springer.

Czarcasm

Export wrote: »

Ye, maybe his being homosexual was him being an immature ****.
No mature adult would be at this craic.
As always, I blame the parents for not giving him enough cuddles.

ARE YOU ACTUALLY FOR REAL OR TAKING THE PISS??

Eh? I think you misunderstood me there. I made no correlation between his being gay and him being immature. The fact he's gay is irrelevant to me, it's his behaviour and the way he went on like a spoilt child is why I said at 20 years of age he's a bit past the hugs and cuddles from his parents stage. He should be living as an independent adult and not looking to move into his grandmothers basement.

osarusan

PeteFalk78 wrote: »

Intolerance of another persons religious beliefs defines bigotry also.

Just so you know...............

This is a very flawed generalisatin.

Just so you know...............

qdawg86

PeteFalk78 wrote: »

Intolerance of another persons religious beliefs defines bigotry also.

Just so you know...............

And just so you know......simply having religious beliefs is not an issue.....

The problem arises when someone attempts to destroy another persons life, based on their religious beliefs.......and I'm all for intolerance of that person.

qdawg86

Czarcasm wrote: »

You're able to play down what this guy did, yet you'll pull me up on using the word hillbilly?

It's no wonder you don't see why I would have an issue with his behaviour when you think all he did was use a few 'bad words'. He called his mother a bitch ffs. Why should any parent have to listen to their son call them a bitch? He tried to make out his parents religious beliefs were irrelevant, in their own home. He has absolutely no respect for his parents, so whether you disagree with me or not, that's why I see him as just as bad as the parents.

The whole clip was like something you'd see on Jerry Springer.

He called her a bitch ???!!! Shock horror !!!

She is a bitch.....she's disowning her own son because she's afraid of what the neighbours think.

She's a ****in bitch who had no business having a child in the first place !!

Nabber

Why did he film it. I think he got the reaction he wanted.

He used scientific fact? Your personality is not decided after six weeks. A theroum put forward.It'S a prove me wrong theorum, feel sorry for the family. A lot more issues here than the 6 minutes shows

cournioni

Dey tuk ar jewbs!

Shakespeare's Sister

Czarcasm, he was thrown out because he's gay. I don't know how you've reached the conclusion that he was thrown out because of having a tantrum.

PeteFalk78 wrote: »

Intolerance of another persons religious beliefs defines bigotry also.

So be it. It's hardly unreasonable not to tolerate a belief that puts down others for no reason. I love this reverse political correctness sh-t that's in fashion. A bit of it on this thread. "The homophobe is entitled to their opinion - live and let live". Yeh they are entitled to their opinion, and others are entitled to have an opposing opinion. Hardline feminists who put down men - their opinion is sacred yeh? We should "live and let live" when it comes to them?

People who are "christians" and put down groups of people are actually flying in the face of the original teachings of christianity, yet they still keep on doing it. The arrogance is mindboggling.

Export

Just for the record, he only called her a bitch when she started battering the head of him.

PeteFalk78

qdawg86 wrote: »

And just so you know......simply having religious beliefs is not an issue.....

The problem arises when someone attempts to destroy another persons life, based on their religious beliefs.......and I'm all for intolerance of that person.

Destroy? :eek:

It's her house, the son is an adult. Abide by the parents ruleset. I don't see the problem.

Shakespeare's Sister

PeteFalk78 wrote: »

Destroy? :eek:

It's her house, the son is an adult. Abide by the parents ruleset. I don't see the problem.

Throwing him out - not just of the home but the family - because of something he is, which doesn't actually harm anyone else?
"Abide by the parents' rules" - so bad-ass.

eviltwin

PeteFalk78 wrote: »

Destroy? :eek:

It's her house, the son is an adult. Abide by the parents ruleset. I don't see the problem.

Do you think it's reasonable for a parent to make rules about their children's sexuality now?

PeteFalk78

eviltwin wrote: »

Do you think it's reasonable for a parent to make rules about their children's sexuality now?

No I think it is reasonable that they control who does/doesn't live in their house

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

PeteFalk78

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

"Abide by the parents' rules" - so bad-ass.

Bad-ass? Not really. Families have falling out, arguments the whole time. Some result in severing of all contact and communication. Bad-ass isn't a word that would first spring to mind. But if you trying to bring a bit of sensationalism then I see why you might use it.

SpaceTime

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Czarcasm, he was thrown out because he's gay. I don't know how you've reached the conclusion that he was thrown out because of having a tantrum.

So be it. It's hardly unreasonable not to tolerate a belief that puts down others for no reason. I love this reverse political correctness sh-t that's in fashion. A bit of it on this thread. "The homophobe is entitled to their opinion - live and let live". Yeh they are entitled to their opinion, and others are entitled to have an opposing opinion. Hardline feminists who put down men - their opinion is sacred yeh? We should "live and let live" when it comes to them?

People who are "christians" and put down groups of people are actually flying in the face of the original teachings of christianity, yet they still keep on doing it. The arrogance is mindboggling.

Because they're just trolling the thread or are genuinely completely anti-gay and will just keep trying to see something that isn't actually in the video and telling everyone else that they're wrong.

You're wasting your time and energy even entering a debate with some posters. They've one dogmatic point of view and that's all they'll consider.