Man comes out to family about being Gay, does not go well

krudler

padd b1975 wrote: »

More than he could ever dream of making by honest work.

How do you know what he does or doesnt make at work, or ever will?

darced

This post has been deleted.

ahmdoda

The concept of Homosexuality goes against the fundamental instinct of human survival and natural selection homosexuality is the biggest threat to the continual existence of the human race homosexuality is self-evidently a disorder and you simply cannot be born gay, if this man's misfortune shows anything is that humanity has inherit good & kindness on them for him to gather 60k in less then a day

krudler

_Redzer_ wrote: »

There you go again, off on one of your famous "holier than thou" spiels.


You said he never worked, kept pushing that he's a "self entitled, idiot, bigot twat", yet got caught out dead when this all happened after he got home from work.

He also didn't set this fundraiser thing up himself, so you can drop that, too.

Yet again, you've completely ignored the physical attacking -and had the audacity to say others were ignoring points. It's so hypocritical, it's ironic.

The fact that you're a father yourself and see the physical abuse of their own child completely justified because he disrespected them is really sad. Frighteningly sad to say the very least.

Czar won't address the facts now that it's come out that the guy does indeed work, wasnt him who shot the video and wasnt him who set up the fund campaign. But these are just silly facts when the poor parents who found out their son wasnt willing to pray his gayness away are the real victims here.

Export

padd b1975 wrote: »

More than he could ever dream of making by honest work.

I'd take a beating from the auld pair if I'd get a few quid too.

Some people don't actually have ANY clue about topics they comment on.

Export

darced wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

I seriously think we may have watched different videos.

Links234

None are more blind than those who won't see

darced

This post has been deleted.

krudler

ahmdoda wrote: »

The concept of Homosexuality goes against the fundamental instinct of human survival and natural selection homosexuality is the biggest threat to the continual existence of the human race homosexuality is self-evidently a disorder and you simply cannot be born gay, if this man's misfortune shows anything is that humanity has inherit good & kindness on them for him to gather 60k in less then a day

When did you choose to be straight? Did you send in the mailing card or do it online? I prefer the online part myself, save on the trees and all that. I didn't get the deluxe straight pack though, so I do enjoy the odd showtune.

padd b1975

krudler wrote: »

How do you know what he does or doesnt make at work, or ever will?

Well let's see now.....


He's a grown man of 20 years of age.

There is no reason why he could not have been in full time employment since he was 16.

By my reckoning I make that 4 years of work which computes to 208 weekly pay packets.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect any functioning adult to be able to get the deposit for his own place in that timeframe.

But wait.....Let's not forget to factor in this abusive home life our poor lad has had to endure since birth.

Now I don't know about the rest of you, but if that was me I would practically starve myself to get the hell out of there if it was as bad as our hero makes out.

Strangely enough he decided stay......guess deep down he decided that the grass would not be greener.

Of course there is always the scenario that this guy is severely lacking in a work ethic and is a bit of a moocher well into adulthood.:mad:

Export

ahmdoda wrote: »

The concept of Homosexuality goes against the fundamental instinct of human survival and natural selection homosexuality is the biggest threat to the continual existence of the human race homosexuality is self-evidently a disorder and you simply cannot be born gay, if this man's misfortune shows anything is that humanity has inherit good & kindness on them for him to gather 60k in less then a day

The concept of murderous thoughts towards bigots and their inhumanity is possibly one that will trump the ability of bigots to murder their gay sons.

Ah no, I don't support murder, guns, execution or hanging.
Except in some cases, where a pair of parents destroy their child and the life that child might live as the sole result of the parents' own bigotry, ignorance and lack of education.

pissednbroke

Shameful people, shows their true colours........better off without listening to that sh1t€ from 'supportive' parents!

eviltwin

ahmdoda wrote: »

The concept of Homosexuality goes against the fundamental instinct of human survival and natural selection homosexuality is the biggest threat to the continual existence of the human race homosexuality is self-evidently a disorder and you simply cannot be born gay, if this man's misfortune shows anything is that humanity has inherit good & kindness on them for him to gather 60k in less then a day

There's about 6 billion people on the planet, most of them straight. I think the human race will survive.

Czarcasm

Links234 wrote: »

Doesn't take much for the mask to slip Czarcasm, at this point your contempt for LGBT people is downright palpable. I know better than to get drawn into an argument with you, because you'll keep going and going endlessly, just like you always do. Redzer is right, you and some other folks here are utterly obsessed with LGBT topics it's frightening, you can open up just about any LGBT related thread on After Hours and low and behold Czarcasm and a few other usual suspects are absolutely dominating the discussion.

There was never any mask to begin with Links, I've always found arseholes contemptible, regardless of their sexuality. I don't discriminate against anyone on the basis that they see themselves as a member of a minority. That still doesn't give them a license to behave like an arsehole.

Redzer is wrong, and you are wrong, and the reason I and other posters appear in these threads is because they pop up with frightening and disproportionate regularity on After Hours, when there is a whole LGBT forum where they could go, which I rarely frequent because it's so bloody boring in there otherwise.

It's obviously going to look like I'm dominating the discussion when I hold a different opinion to the majority of other posters, but if you look around After Hours in general, I contribute to lots of other thread topics too (one of my favourites being the 'Trivial things that annoy you' thread).

I don't want to get drawn into an argument with you either, so I presume from this point on that yourself and Redzer are done with the ad hominems. They're like water off a ducks back after a while and add nothing to the discussion.

Rothmans

padd b1975 wrote: »

Well let's see now.....


He's a grown man of 20 years of age.

There is no reason why he could not have been in full time employment since he was 16.

By my reckoning I make that 4 years of work which computes to 208 weekly pay packets.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect any functioning adult to be able to get the deposit for his own place in that timeframe.

But wait.....Let's not forget to factor in this abusive home life our poor lad has had to endure since birth.

Now I don't know about the rest of you, but if that was me I would practically starve myself to get the hell out of there if it was as bad as our hero makes out.

Strangely enough he decided stay......guess deep down he decided that the grass would not be greener.

Of course there is always the scenario that this guy is severely lacking in a work ethic and is a bit of a moocher well into adulthood.:mad:

Well if we all agree not too feed you on these threads, hopefully that'll happen

krudler

padd b1975 wrote: »

Well let's see now.....


He's a grown man of 20 years of age.

There is no reason why he could not have been in full time employment since he was 16.

By my reckoning I make that 4 years of work which computes to 208 weekly pay packets.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect any functioning adult to be able to get the deposit for his own place in that timeframe.

But wait.....Let's not forget to factor in this abusive home life our poor lad has had to endure since birth.

Now I don't know about the rest of you, but if that was me I would practically starve myself to get the hell out of there if it was as bad as our hero makes out.

Strangely enough he decided stay......guess deep down he decided that the grass would not be greener.

Of course there is always the scenario that this guy is severely lacking in a work ethic and is a bit of a moocher well into adulthood.:mad:

No reason? he's American would still be in high school at 16. Last I checked people in school don't usually work full time.

Rothmans

Czarcasm wrote: »

There was never any mask to begin with Links, I've always found arseholes contemptible, regardless of their sexuality. I don't discriminate against anyone on the basis that they see themselves as a member of a minority. That still doesn't give them a license to behave like an arsehole.

Redzer is wrong, and you are wrong, and the reason I and other posters appear in these threads is because they pop up with frightening and disproportionate regularity on After Hours, when there is a whole LGBT forum where they could go, which I rarely frequent because it's so bloody boring in there otherwise.

It's obviously going to look like I'm dominating the discussion when I hold a different opinion to the majority of other posters, but if you look around After Hours in general, I contribute to lots of other thread topics too (one of my favourites being the 'Trivial things that annoy you' thread).

I don't want to get drawn into an argument with you either, so I presume from this point on that yourself and Redzer are done with the ad hominems. They're like water off a ducks back after a while and add nothing to the discussion.

And every one else is wrong, the facts are wrong, and right is wrong. Only Czarcasm is wright. Happy?

krudler

Czarcasm wrote: »

There was never any mask to begin with Links, I've always found arseholes contemptible, regardless of their sexuality. I don't discriminate against anyone on the basis that they see themselves as a member of a minority. That still doesn't give them a license to behave like an arsehole.

Redzer is wrong, and you are wrong, and the reason I and other posters appear in these threads is because they pop up with frightening and disproportionate regularity on After Hours, when there is a whole LGBT forum where they could go, which I rarely frequent because it's so bloody boring in there otherwise.

It's obviously going to look like I'm dominating the discussion when I hold a different opinion to the majority of other posters, but if you look around After Hours in general, I contribute to lots of other thread topics too (one of my favourites being the 'Trivial things that annoy you' thread).

I don't want to get drawn into an argument with you either, so I presume from this point on that yourself and Redzer are done with the ad hominems. They're like water off a ducks back after a while and add nothing to the discussion.

You're ignoring the facts again to suit your own argument. You just keep calling the guy an arsehole and a prick. well what about the parents? did you even watch the video? He comes home, they have an intervention for him, tell him they dont want him around if he "chooses" to be gay. and he points out he doesnt choose to be gay (correct) regardless of what the bible says (also correct) and the mother says herself she knew he was gay all his life, thus negating her own ignorant point. They call him a queer, a piece of ****, then someone hits him.

And he's the arsehole?

Minera

While I totally feel for the guy I cant help but think he goaded them into totally losing it! I mean the mother was calmly expressing her beliefs and he pushed an already tense situation. The guy must have known the parents would have found it hard to accept but instead of giving them a while to discover that they loved him more than their prejudices he accused them of not raising him, well the father anyway. I hate children who feel a sense of entitlement instead of earning respect. " your father put food on the table...." "yeah but thats not raising me". Bit harsh the mother putting him out on the streets! Good luck to the kid hes gonna need it!

oh and as for people donating to this guy; Fools and money are easily parted

Czarcasm

krudler wrote: »

You're ignoring the facts again to suit your own argument. You just keep calling the guy an arsehole and a prick. well what about the parents? did you even watch the video? He comes home, they have an intervention for him, tell him they dont want him around if he "chooses" to be gay. and he points out he doesnt choose to be gay (correct) regardless of what the bible says (also correct) and the mother says herself she knew he was gay all his life, thus negating her own ignorant point. They call him a queer, a piece of ****, then someone hits him.

And he's the arsehole?

I'm not ignoring anything krudler, we just have a different perspective is all.

SpaceTime

padd b1975 wrote: »

Well let's see now.....

He's a grown man of 20 years of age.
There is no reason why he could not have been in full time employment since he was 16.
By my reckoning I make that 4 years of work which computes to 208 weekly pay packets.
I don't think it's unreasonable to expect any functioning adult to be able to get the deposit for his own place in that timeframe.

But wait.....Let's not forget to factor in this abusive home life our poor lad has had to endure since birth.
Now I don't know about the rest of you, but if that was me I would practically starve myself to get the hell out of there if it was as bad as our hero makes out.

Strangely enough he decided stay......guess deep down he decided that the grass would not be greener.
Of course there is always the scenario that this guy is severely lacking in a work ethic and is a bit of a moocher well into adulthood.:mad:

1) You have absolutely no idea whether he has a job, is in university, has worked since he was 16 or anything else about his finances.

2) The majority of 16 year olds in developed countries would be in full time education at 16 in 2014. This might not have been the case in 1950, but it is seen as completely normal now. A very large % of 20 year olds would also be in full time education too, and at most doing part time work. So, it's not all that unusual to be living at home at 20.
You're also a minor at 16, so I'm not sure what your point is about 16 year olds and parents having no responsibility as it's not even applicable in this case.

3) People in abusive situations often don't even realise how abusive they are and may stick around taking all sorts of stuff for years. How do you think battered wives/husbands don't leave their partners? Humans have an amazing ability to become stuck in a rut with an abuser. That's just how human psychology works there's always an element of Stockholm Syndrome where we just keep looking past the abuse and thinking the abuser will somehow change or be nicer today.

4) Even at 20, if he's in a university programme for example (especially in the US where it's very expensive) he may be stuck in a situation where he can't just walk off until he graduates. Pulling the rug out from under someone at that stage could completely destroy their career prospects.

All I'm saying is that it's very easy to get all preachy about this situation. The guy said he's going to move out by a particular day and is being quite reasonable. By the looks of it they started hitting him in that video which is basically common assault of an adult and is totally inexcusable in any context.

Whether he's published it or not their behaviour is absolutely disgusting. If you're going to beat someone up, you'd want to be prepared to face the music in terms of public embarrassment or the fact that he'd be completely within his rights to simply call the police.

padd b1975

krudler wrote: »

No reason? he's American would still be in high school at 16. Last I checked people in school don't usually work full time.

Fair enough.

Still plenty of time to get his sh1t in order though, if he really wanted/needed to that is.

padd b1975

Rothmans wrote: »

Well if we all agree not too feed you on these threads, hopefully that'll happen

What???

darced

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Export

darced wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Again, watching a different video to that which we are discussing.

darced

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Corkfeen

Deleted User wrote: »

Can we change the title to ......

Gay man comes out as a Drama Queen and attention seeker to his god fearing country hick parents, does not go well.

And to be honest,you are a failure of a parent if you choose to reject their child because of his orientation.

Czarcasm wrote: »

I'm not trying to throw anyone off anything. People are going to believe what they want regardless of anything that's discussed here. I also haven't been 'caught out' or ignored the abuse part of anyone's posts. If anything I specifically addressed it when I said I can understand why his parents reacted the way they did.

You and other posters have chosen to ignore and even excuse his behaviour towards his parents on the basis that he's gay and religion is a crock. Standard reply really, and not in the least bit unexpected.

They shouted at him that he was a 'queer', why no object to the parents that view it as acceptable to do that? You're ignoring the parent's actions and arguing they have just cause however he simply said he was born that way. They went on to say,stop being gay or move out as we do not condone that. They are assholes to be frank.

padd b1975 wrote: »

Because of his petulant child-at-the-sweet-counter style diction.

If you judge a person for their diction,you've got some major issues going on. In fact, it sounds like the mentality of a bully.

ahmdoda wrote: »

The concept of Homosexuality goes against the fundamental instinct of human survival and natural selection homosexuality is the biggest threat to the continual existence of the human race homosexuality is self-evidently a disorder and you simply cannot be born gay, if this man's misfortune shows anything is that humanity has inherit good & kindness on them for him to gather 60k in less then a day

It's evident in the eyes of an uninformed fool that lacks any human compassion.

Minera wrote: »

While I totally feel for the guy I cant help but think he goaded them into totally losing it! I mean the mother was calmly expressing her beliefs and he pushed an already tense situation. The guy must have known the parents would have found it hard to accept but instead of giving them a while to discover that they loved him more than their prejudices he accused them of not raising him, well the father anyway. I hate children who feel a sense of entitlement instead of earning respect. " your father put food on the table...." "yeah but thats not raising me". Bit harsh the mother putting him out on the streets! Good luck to the kid hes gonna need it!

oh and as for people donating to this guy; Fools and money are easily parted

They apparently knew for a fairly long time and this was supposed to have been an intervention from what I gather. That's low to be perfectly honest.


Final point,just because they raised him should not and does not guarantee respect. They used slurs against him,threw him out of the family and even made an effort to attack him all because of his sexuality. They're pretty damn awful parents so feck 'em.

darced wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Where they were basically saying that they have gay friends but they wouldn't want one in the family? How about the slurs? Darce,you have a long history on objecting to gay people in general,now that I think about it. Same for paddy.. Weird!

caustic 1

If their reaction is so appalling to him why would he look to stay in the basement. I mean if it were me I would be getting the flock out of there as soon as.

SpaceTime

Even if she wasn't his mother, let's say your housemate decided they didn't like your sexuality and told you to get out of the house then started beating you up, you'd probably call the Gardai and they'd probably be arrested.

I don't really see why anyone's being all soft and nice about the parents here. They're completely out of line.

Also, this isn't really a discussion about whether students should be working and living on their own or not. A huge % of Irish students of 20 years of age (and quite a lot older, especially these days) don't necessarily live in their own places either. Most people don't just turn 16 and move out. In fact, that's highly unusual in Europe and the US.

They've crossed the line between just being bigoted about homosexuality which is bad enough and actually wandered straight into old-fashioned gay bashing of the physical variety which is just common assault and homophobia.

Also, it's pretty weird behaviour to just disown your offspring to be quite honest. Most people tend to stick by them come hell or high water almost totally unconditionally whether they're 16 or 76.

padd b1975

Corkfeen wrote: »

If you judge a person for their diction,you've got some major issues going on. In fact, it sounds like the mentality of a bully.

The YouTube video is hardly top-heavy in visuals to be fair.

And yet another ad hominem......:rolleyes::rolleyes:

catallus

darced wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Yeah, he did start the whole thing, just watched it there, it is painful how self-entitled that kid is!

He went to physically attack his mother and was presumably restrained by others in the room.

There's obviously a lot of emotion in everyone there, probably due to his behavioural problems, he got violent very suddenly.

steddyeddy

There seems to be the assertion that the boy acted aggressively towards his parents and set them up or goaded them. So what? They treated him like a sub human species because of how he was born. He was then assaulted. So f them in short. They need they need an example of how not to parent. Abuse is abuse and needs to be exposed or else it thrives. They made a choice to treat their son a certain way because of something he had no choice over.

SpaceTime

catallus wrote: »

Yeah, he did start the whole thing, just watched it there, it is painful how self-entitled that kid is!

He went to physically attack his mother and was presumably restrained by others in the room.

There's obviously a lot of emotion in everyone there, probably due to his behavioural problems, he got violent very suddenly.

I think we're watching totally different videos here :

http://youtu.be/1df_i26wh-w?t=3m42s

It's pretty clear that she actually just turned on him and started hitting him at which point he tells her to stop and it just increases then the father seems to get involved too.

steddyeddy

People are also saying the kid got violent, he seemed agresive and he seemed agitated. Well duh. If you were been victimized by your parents you would too.

B.A._Baracus

So he has just bagged $61,500 for airing his dirty laundry to the world.
Yet here we are all essentially talking crap about it. Hmph, who is the real fools...

darced

This post has been deleted.

catallus

SpaceTime wrote: »

I think we're watching totally different videos here :

http://youtu.be/1df_i26wh-w?t=3m42s

It's pretty clear that she actually just turned on him and started hitting him at which point he tells her to stop and it just increases then the father seems to get involved too.

That is not clear at all. Some people are seeing what they want to see and running with it.

I've watched it 3 times now from start to finish and it is the kid who is being aggressive, verbally at first, (from the very beginning, even before his mother says "We love you very much") right up to the point where he begins shouting aggressively at his mother (when she is talking about a previous conversation they had) and moving towards her; she moves forward too and during the scuffle (where I am presuming he's being restrained) he's the only one shouting loudly until his father gets involved (Get off me you son of a bitch, the kid says.)

Anyways, that's not here nor there. The parents have the right to kick anyone over 18 out of their house.

padd b1975

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

So he has just bagged $61,500 for airing his dirty laundry to the world.
Yet here we are all essentially talking crap about it. Hmph, who is the real fools...

Clearly those who donated are.:cool:

sunflower27

What kind of parent disowns their child because of their sexual preference? An ignorant one. I hope this guy finds happiness in his life. This story is actually upsetting and likely to stop others coming out. Sad.

steddyeddy

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

So he has just bagged $61,500 for airing his dirty laundry to the world.
Yet here we are all essentially talking crap about it. Hmph, who is the real fools...

Having abusive parents is not his dirty laundry it's theirs.

SpaceTime

Verbally aggressive is one thing, hitting someone is an entirely different matter.

If you were verbally aggressive to me and I then slapped you in the face or punched you, I'd say you'd probably press charges for assault.

You have a right to ask someone to leave your house, you do not have a right to beat them around the place.

What they basically said was (in summary)

We love you very much, but you're gay so you're evil and should change and blah blah blah... usual US ultra conservative homophobic nonsense that a certain branch of christians over there seem to come out with rather a lot.

He pretty much accused her (accurately) of being a hypocrite at which point she appears to have flipped out and became physically violent.

They then turned it into a 'we gave you everything' type argument as to why he shouldn't be gay and continued to go completely nuts at him.

This would be like chucking your son out for being ginger and refusing to change. That's how logical it is.

SpaceTime

Just change the dialogue for 'ginger' everytime you hear gay and you'll see how ridiculous it seems!

B.A._Baracus

padd b1975 wrote: »

Clearly those who donated are.:cool:

Good point, padd They are the fools.

steddyeddy wrote: »

Having abusive parents is not his dirty laundry it's theirs.

Oh come on. It's personal family business. Tom, Dick and Harrys such as ourselves should never been allowed to witness that conversation. It should never have been uploaded. In fact it should have never been recorded.

Rothmans

padd b1975 wrote: »

What???

wooooshhhh

Corkfeen

padd b1975 wrote: »

The YouTube video is hardly top-heavy in visuals to be fair.

And yet another ad hominem......:rolleyes::rolleyes:

But you have an issue with how he speaks and feel that is a good reason to judge...

catallus wrote: »

That is not clear at all. Some people are seeing what they want to see and running with it.

I've watched it 3 times now from start to finish and it is the kid who is being aggressive, verbally at first, (from the very beginning, even before his mother says "We love you very much") right up to the point where he begins shouting aggressively at his mother (when she is talking about a previous conversation they had) and moving towards her; she moves forward too and during the scuffle (where I am presuming he's being restrained) he's the only one shouting loudly until his father gets involved (Get off me you son of a bitch, the kid says.)

Anyways, that's not here nor there. The parents have the right to kick anyone over 18 out of their house.

The aggression actually started from the mother's side when he pointed out he was born that way. Followed by the mother raving at him.

catallus

Rothmans wrote: »

wooooshhhh

Zoooooooom!

SpaceTime

darced wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

He moves exactly 2 steps and she basically lunges for him by the looks of it. It was followed by stuff like "you don't tell lies on me you little piece of ****"

she also says "I'll beat your ...." while the dad is ranting something about "you're a damn q***r you f***ing d**k"

They then calm down and there's a whole rant about stuff he posted on FB which he challenges the dad to show him, which he can't.

Lovely people!

Horrendous situation and they're probably nice as pie when they're at the bake sale down at the church. The whole thing will be down to how their son has humiliated them. Also, seems to be a common thread of some ridiculous notion that some people seem to have that your kid's sexuality is somehow a reflection of your masculinity resulting in lots of ranting and raving about how "I ain't raised no ... " and so on and so forth.

Just surprising that such people really exist in 2014.

darced

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SpaceTime

darced wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

All I'd say is don't ever attempt to use that kind of logic to defend an assault charge in a District Court!

Standing to your feet and approaching someone does not warrant a physically violent response nor would it excuse one.

shruikan2553

So the parents were doing everything right and the boy is the problem?