Irish teetotalers - what's it like?

Tarzana

Tarzana wrote: »

I've been tinkering with the idea of quitting completely. Drinking makes me really anxious and depressed, plus I earn 20k per annum and live in Dublin. I simply can't afford regular drinking sessions. And I want to lose some weight. Another good reason to quit.

All of that is good motivation, specially the anxious depressed bit.

FloatingVoter

Ireland is full of non-drinkers. You could class them in three groups

- those who never drank and never will
- those who actually do socially drink -ie. a sherry at Christmas (NOT I only get pissed when my mates come over).
- those that have had to give up due to chronic alcoholism.

I was in the first group until I was seven. Then spent the next three years in group two. After that it went pearshaped and I'm now ducking in and out of group three.

Tarzana

Tarzana wrote: »

Two of those comments were clearly jokes.

I'm aware of that, but it's part of the culture of ridicule surrounding not drinking.

Durz0 Blint

Never had any problems being a non-drinker, although my friends are not c*nts who would pressure you to do something you don't want to.

Y'all need to find better friends

FloatingVoter

Candie wrote: »

I'm aware of that, but it's part of the culture of ridicule surrounding not drinking.

Nobody worth knowing is going to ridicule you for not drinking. If some idiot thinks getting wasted is a proof of manhood, pity him and move on (possibly to his girlfriend, she will be available).

FloatingVoter

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Nobody worth knowing is going to ridicule you for not drinking. If some idiot thinks getting wasted is a proof of manhood, pity him and move on (possibly to his girlfriend, she will be available).

Sound advice, but I'm a straight woman

The ridicule thing is a subtle thing, and its mainly teenagers and early 20's where it's a problem. I've noticed much less of it since I went over 25, and it's nearly non existent outside Ireland.

The_Valeyard

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Nobody worth knowing is going to ridicule you for not drinking. If some idiot thinks getting wasted is a proof of manhood, pity him and move on (possibly to his girlfriend, she will be available).

Well thats lovely, sneaky women stealing :pac:

FloatingVoter

Candie wrote: »

Sound advice, but I'm a straight woman

The ridicule thing is a subtle thing, and its mainly teenagers and early 20's where it's a problem. I've noticed much less of it since I went over 25, and it's nearly non existent outside Ireland.

Yeah, I was aiming the comment at teenage boys of all ages. They tend to be the ones who do the "I drank 50 pints of meths" horse manure.
And true enough, once (and if) you reach a certain mental age it disappears.

Turtwig

Have absolutely no idea why I'm a teetotaler. Just don't get the whole fuss about drink. Having seen people drunk it just never appealed to me- even though I understand many people drink without getting drunk. I've had on occasion had people spiking my drink thinking it'd be good for me. Show me the errors of my ways or some sht. This was all during teenage and very early twenties though. Only time I absolutely hate nowadays is Christmas. It's that time every year when at home among folks who I mostly avoid in general that I get completely sick of folks asking why I'm not having a drink? I don't need alcohol to lift my inhibitions, I don't find it particularly funny or appealing to do something that would be instantly regretted if I was sober. I have no desire to smoke or take any drugs and I guess alcohol falls into that. Coming to think of it maybe I do know why I'm a teetotaler?:o

The worse thing about it is that so many people actually mean well but to them there is no other way of enjoying oneself without having a drink. That's somewhat depressing actually.:(

Ficheall

I don't drink, never have. Never really bothered me unduly except for the lack of dutch courage to chat to drunken ladies.

What does bother me, even to this day, is people's insistence on having a drink of the non-alcoholic variety. If I say I don't want a 7up, I don't want one...

And then there's the very Irish... the "Do you want a cup of tea?" etc.
"Are you sure I can't get you a cup of tea?"
"A sandwich?"
"A biccie?"
My granny, god rest her, was a terror for that.

FloatingVoter

Ficheall wrote: »

I don't drink, never have. Never really bothered me unduly except for the lack of dutch courage to chat to drunken ladies.

What does bother me, even to this day, is people's insistence on having a drink of the non-alcoholic variety. If I say I don't want a 7up, I don't want one...

And then there's the very Irish... the "Do you want a cup of tea?" etc.
"Are you sure I can't get you a cup of tea?"
"A sandwich?"
"A biccie?"
My granny, god rest her, was a terror for that.

"Gran, I'm on heroin and the tea reacts something awful with it."

Turtwig

Ficheall wrote: »

I don't drink, never have. Never really bothered me unduly except for the lack of dutch courage to chat to drunken ladies.

What does bother me, even to this day, is people's insistence on having a drink of the non-alcoholic variety. If I say I don't want a 7up, I don't want one...

And then there's the very Irish... the "Do you want a cup of tea?" etc.
"Are you sure I can't get you a cup of tea?"
"A sandwich?"
"A biccie?"
My granny, god rest her, was a terror for that.

Oh God! Yeah that totally pisses me off. You have to HAVE something in your hand apparently. If not you gotta explain why. It's so fecking annoying. I appreciate that you're being so nice and all but really it'd also be nice if you could just accept that I don't actually want anything.

ballsymchugh

Inanna wrote: »

I don't drink but I wouldn't call myself a teetotaller as to me that implies going out of your way to avoid it due to some moral objection. I just don't have any interest in drinking. I've drunk at occasions like weddings and such in the past where it's sort of expected but that's it.

erm.. i think the fact that you don't drink means you're a teetotaller, there's nothing moral in the term at all.
i'm teetotal, have never drank. i live in the UK, and anytime i meet a stranger out, it quickly descends into the whole "but you're irish" stereotype.
when i'm out in ireland, it goes two ways. people who couldn't give a shyte about it, and people who will openly tell you they don't trust non drinkers, which seems to happen with more frequency lately.

the one thing i do get asked is does it bother me when my friends get drunk and act the spa etc... no, it never did. they're my friends. if anyone started acting the prick while being drunk, there's a good chance they're a prick when they're sober too.

FloatingVoter

"Never trust a man who doesn't drink"....that's some crap that was dialogue in a movie decades back. Boys still think it makes them hard men if they repeat it and pass it off as their own.
I'll assume the same nitwit would therefore trust a drunk to drive his child home.

catallus

Hitler was a teetotaler. Which means all teetotalers are suspect. Very suspect.

Turtwig

catallus wrote: »

Hitler was a teetotaler. Which means all teetotalers are suspect. Very suspect.

Hitler was also Catholic.

The Rabbit

Turtwig wrote: »

Hitler was also Catholic.

And a veggie?

catallus

There you go, bringing religion into everything :pac:

Turtwig

catallus wrote: »

There you go, bringing religion into everything :pac:

Heh, many Irish folks refer to teetotalers as pioneers the secularism being lost on them. Had to drag religion back into a clearly secularly biased thread. :pac:

FloatingVoter

catallus wrote: »

Hitler was a teetotaler. Which means all teetotalers are suspect. Very suspect.

He was known to take a very occasional glass of wine. So he won't make it in the Pioneers. Might have made a Christian Brother though.
He was a bit of a fascist when it came to anti-smoking. And a salad eater.

diograis

sup_dude wrote: »

I'm a non drinker, 20 and going into my final year of college. I've gotten drunk once or twice to see what it's like and I've tried most drinks but it's really a hassle to spend a heap of money on something that tastes disgusting, in order to get yourself into a mindset that you don't particularly enjoy being in. I still go out and stuff and I don't mind other people drinking, as long as they're not messy or violent. The response I find works best is "I don't need to". It doesn't really give much room for discussion, unlike "I don't want to". Then people just try to change your mind.

Forgive me if I'm wrong but saying I don't need to implies others do? Bit self righteous no? Nothing worse than someone who doesn't drink but feels the need to let everyone know about it

twinytwo

Im 27 don't drink... never have, never will. Don't really have a reason just never did when I was younger and now don't see the point in starting. Although that being said, recently iv noticed that the smell of alcohol turns my stomach.

Eramen

Drink for me has become a very rare thing over the past year, to year-and-a-half.

It all started with me having to give it up for a couple a months due to [non-alch related] stomach problems. It was during this time that I realised that alcohol wasn't the elixir of happiness and good fun it was cracked up to be. Life seemed more uncomplicated without it, I felt better and I was more productive, so as a result I now only drink once every few months. This is what I like.

However, this does p*ss many people off.

I've been called everything under the sun by people who've taken offense to it.

I get less invites out, purely because I will most likely be alch-free.

I've lost people who I thought were my friends.

Staying off drink is easy and preferable for me now, it's our culture of rampant alcoholism that's a real b*tch to deal with.

Burky126

diograis wrote: »

Forgive me if I'm wrong but saying I don't need to implies others do? Bit self righteous no? Nothing worse than someone who doesn't drink but feels the need to let everyone know about it

I don't think it is if you choose the right tone of voice. Yeah,if it's a sharp,snarky "I don't need to" it can come off as that. The point is to get across the fact you don't drink quick in order to avoid confrontation and aggression from being inquistioned till you're blue in the face on why you're not normal. Because if anything, an angry drunk is going to be up for a reasonable conversation about sobriety! Besides, you shouldn't have to explain to everyone who questions you why you choose not to drink. That's your business, not theirs.

Eramen

Eramen wrote: »

Drink for me has become a very rare thing over the past year, to year-and-a-half.

It all started with me having to give it up for a couple a months due to [non-alch related] stomach problems. It was during this time that I realised that alcohol wasn't the elixir of happiness and good fun it was cracked up to be. Life seemed more uncomplicated, I felt better and I was more productive, so I only drink every few months now. This is what I like.

However, this does p*ss many people off.

I've been called everything under the sun by people who've taken offense to it.

I get less invites out, purely because I will mostly likely be alch-free.

I've lost people who I thought were my friends.

Staying off drink is easy (and preferable for me now), it's our culture of rampant alcoholism that I sometimes find hard to deal with.

At least you know who your actual friends are now.

FloatingVoter

"Why aren't you drinking ?"

"I'm on antibiotics"
"I'm taking a month off"
"I'm an alcoholic" - that usually closes down the party.
"I'm driving"
"Why aren't you wearing a dress ?"
"I'm on acid"

All reasonable answers.

Tar.Aldarion

Like this

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/08/21/irish-lad-who-doesnt-drink-anymore-asked-why-not-every-two-minutes/

Dermot Foley, a Kilkenny man, has shocked his local community with revelations involving his consumption of alcohol.
Dermot, 25, announced privately to himself a number of weeks ago that he would give up consuming alcohol as he never much enjoyed it but it has only recently come to the attention of his family, extended family, friends, neighbours, old school friends, college friends, work colleagues and the national papers.

“I’m just shocked to be honest,” explained Dermot’s best friend John, “how am I supposed to trust the man now he’s doing real shady things like jogging, watching what he’s eating and reading books? The ****er is real sly about telling me what I did the night before when I tell him I’ve no recollection of the previous nights out. It’s the end of a beautiful friendship, I can feel it”.

Dermot’s friends and family were so concerned about his lack of drinking they called an intervention in the hope they could convince the young man to change his ways.
“We just want to know why he’s doing this to us,” Dermot’s mother Anne pleaded, “it’s completely out of character for him to be so selfish”.
“We’d meet up for an old chat every week in the pub,” explained Dermot’s father Noel, “and of all sudden he ruins it by ordering an orange juice,” added the tear-eyed father.

The intervention was a tense and emotional occasion as every person present pleaded with Dermot to see sense. The most emotionally charged plea came from his friend John.

“Why? Is it, is it because of that time you pissed and shat yourself and vomited everywhere after punching that old man in the face for no reason? Sure everyone does that. Dermot? Seriously why? Don’t worry about that, ye, well, ye just have to laugh at that stuff”.
Among the possible reasons for Dermot’s abstinence put forward by his friends included ‘killed a prostitute’, ‘run in with the law’, ‘a girl asked him to stop’, ‘got fierce adventurous on the internet when drunk and probably typed in something about lads kissing each other and that’ or ‘a calling from God’.
Dermot’s decision has come at a price. He now suffers from RASS (Repeat Answering Stress Syndrome) whereby he has badly strained his vocal chords as a result of answering all the questions people have about his decision not to drink anymore.

Tarzana

FloatingVoter wrote: »

He was a bit of a fascist when it came to anti-smoking.

If that's true, he was pretty ahead of his time in that regard!

miss no stars

Tarzana wrote: »

If that's true, he was pretty ahead of his time in that regard!

Didn't want his super-race interfered with. Nazis were way ahead of their time with respect to a lot of scientific stuffs. Pity they were Nazis, eh?

Daveysil15

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Ireland is full of non-drinkers. You could class them in three groups

- those who never drank and never will
- those who actually do socially drink -ie. a sherry at Christmas (NOT I only get pissed when my mates come over).
- those that have had to give up due to chronic alcoholism.

I reckon that's fairly accurate alright. I'd be in the second group myself; minus the sherry of course. Then you have people like Des Bishop who'd be in the third group.

cloud493

I've never drank in all my life. People always look a bit surprised, or think I'm joking, or that I'm a 'social drinker'

tomwaterford

Eramen wrote: »

Drink for me has become a very rare thing over the past year, to year-and-a-half.

It all started with me having to give it up for a couple a months due to [non-alch related] stomach problems. It was during this time that I realised that alcohol wasn't the elixir of happiness and good fun it was cracked up to be. Life seemed more uncomplicated without it, I felt better and I was more productive, so as a result I now only drink once every few months. This is what I like.

However, this does p*ss many people off.

I've been called everything under the sun by people who've taken offense to it.

I get less invites out, purely because I will most likely be alch-free.

I've lost people who I thought were my friends.

Staying off drink is easy and preferable for me now, it's our culture of rampant alcoholism that's a real b*tch to deal with.

now im not massive drinker...could go months on end without it...and then maybe 2 or 3 weekends in a row but then months again
with nothing

I could never get the thinking behind people taking offense/giving abuse....not asking friends out.....over not drinking???
surly its the persons own choice

Tarzana

miss no stars wrote: »

Didn't want his super-race interfered with. Nazis were way ahead of their time with respect to a lot of scientific stuffs. Pity they were Nazis, eh?

I know, right? He especially didn't want aryan women smoking because it affected their physical attractiveness and so made them less appealing from a fertility point of view so would hamper the advancement of the master race or something. Weirdo. Psychotic weirdo.

greasepalm

5 days a week i go to pub but i dont drink,hmm whats it like no stale smell of drink or waking up in hell with someone smashing your head in,easy going and dont get into arguments over silly things,no throwing up cause your plastered.
do i miss it no as i never started others like it so be it.

diograis

Burky126 wrote: »

I don't think it is if you choose the right tone of voice. Yeah,if it's a sharp,snarky "I don't need to" it can come off as that. The point is to get across the fact you don't drink quick in order to avoid confrontation and aggression from being inquistioned till you're blue in the face on why you're not normal. Because if anything, an angry drunk is going to be up for a reasonable conversation about sobriety! Besides, you shouldn't have to explain to everyone who questions you why you choose not to drink. That's your business, not theirs.

Nah I agree with you entirely. The joys of our drinking culture I suppose..

Ave Sodalis

diograis wrote: »

Forgive me if I'm wrong but saying I don't need to implies others do? Bit self righteous no? Nothing worse than someone who doesn't drink but feels the need to let everyone know about it

Yes and no. I don't mean it in a self rightous way but it's an honest answer. I don't drink because I don't need to and it's an answer than doesn't get questioned much. A huge amount of people do need drink before they would step foot in a nightclub. One of the worst nights I ever had was when a friend of mine went out sober and was the definition of misery, hanging on to me as the only other sober person. I don't judge people for wanting to drink, that's perfectly fine by me as long as they're not violent or messy. People don't even know I'm sober unless they know me well. I just don't see the point of it when I have more fun without it. My friends love going out with me because, in their words, I'm completely non judgemental and, unlike another one of our sober friends, don't make them feel guity for drinking. I'd prefer someone get drunk than be a pain in the arse all night and trying to ruin my night because they're not happy.

woodoo

diograis wrote: »

Forgive me if I'm wrong but saying I don't need to implies others do? Bit self righteous no? Nothing worse than someone who doesn't drink but feels the need to let everyone know about it

They are very rare. People who don't drink would prefer if people didn't say that much about it and let them get on with their night out. I don't drink and i have no interest in talking to people about not drinking when i'm out.

Cantona's Collars

I noticed a trend this year amongst those attending Debs balls,I have relations of that age and while they do drink,they have changed their mindset towards it and don't see getting smashed as a good night.

I like a pint but won't judge anyone who doesn't drink,I've been a designated driver a few times and it's ok,just ok though as I see the pub as a place to go for a few pints,I can drink Lucozade walking along the street.

One of my workmates has gone teetotal and tbh his social life has turned just boring,he's no more than a glorified taxi driver on a night out.He was recently at a function and while everyone else seemed to be lording it up,he sat there sipping 7up.I know people will say "you don't need drink to have a good time" but I actually felt sorry for him.If ever a guy needed a few jars,it was him.

Kev_2012

I love drinking but if anyone has a problem when I don't want to then they can go get f*cked. Plus just carry antibiotics around with you haha

ballsymchugh

zerks wrote: »

One of my workmates has gone teetotal and tbh his social life has turned just boring,he's no more than a glorified taxi driver on a night out.He was recently at a function and while everyone else seemed to be lording it up,he sat there sipping 7up.I know people will say "you don't need drink to have a good time" but I actually felt sorry for him.If ever a guy needed a few jars,it was him.

did he say anything himself about how he felt? you've just said earlier in your post that you wouldn't judge anyone that doesn't drink but then you go and do it. most teetotallers are doing just fine, honestly.

FloatingVoter

The designated driver thing is a trap that people fall into. I suppose you could always wait for a big night out and dump the comatose passengers in a field with a bull in it. It'd stop the survivors bumming lifts off you.

woodoo

zerks wrote: »

One of my workmates has gone teetotal and tbh his social life has turned just boring,he's no more than a glorified taxi driver on a night out.He was recently at a function and while everyone else seemed to be lording it up,he sat there sipping 7up.I know people will say "you don't need drink to have a good time" but I actually felt sorry for him.If ever a guy needed a few jars,it was him.

That can be the way it is for some people when they give it up. They are just not suited to pub/club life. He will eventually stop going out as much and find his enjoyment in life from other things. The thought of having to go and spend 4 or 5 hours in a pub or night club would depress me.

FloatingVoter

woodoo wrote: »

That can be the way it is for some people when they give it up. They are just not suited to pub/club life. He will eventually stop going out as much and find his enjoyment in life from other things. The thought of having to go and spend 4 or 5 hours in a pub or night club would depress me.

The trouble is there are not too many "other things" to do in Ireland. Rule out the larger cities - what are you going to do in small town Ireland apart from go down the pub ?

Cantona's Collars

ballsymchugh wrote: »

did he say anything himself about how he felt? you've just said earlier in your post that you wouldn't judge anyone that doesn't drink but then you go and do it. most teetotallers are doing just fine, honestly.

I probably worded my post clumsily,I meant people who never drink.I won't judge them,it's their choice and so be it.But this guy just gave up,never gave a reason,but actually seems miserable in social occasions because of it.I've noticed during conversations about what we got up to on the weekend that he seems to judge us in work that go for a few drinks as if we are doing something wrong.Somebody who never drank can enjoy themselves on a night out just as much as those on the lash,they never had to drink to 'loosen up' so don't need to use alcohol as a method for having fun.

Cantona's Collars

woodoo wrote: »

That can be the way it is for some people when they give it up. They are just not suited to pub/club life. He will eventually stop going out as much and find his enjoyment in life from other things. The thought of having to go and spend 4 or 5 hours in a pub or night club would depress me.

He's pretty much done that and trust me,the conversation about the other things he gets enjoyment from is very short.
Even I don't drink as much as I used to but I've other hobbies to take up my time which require a clear head.

I've a mate who's teetotal & he has no problem sitting in a pub or hitting a club,if it's where his friends socialise then he'll go there & have the craic.

ballsymchugh

zerks wrote: »

I probably worded my post clumsily,I meant people who never drink.I won't judge them,it's their choice and so be it.But this guy just gave up,never gave a reason,but actually seems miserable in social occasions because of it.I've noticed during conversations about what we got up to on the weekend that he seems to judge us in work that go for a few drinks as if we are doing something wrong.Somebody who never drank can enjoy themselves on a night out just as much as those on the lash,they never had to drink to 'loosen up' so don't need to use alcohol as a method for having fun.

ah ok. same as ex smokers can be the most vicious anti smokers. anyone that starts playing the moral card is an arse.

Sunnyisland

“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald


That's what happened to me.
Best decision in my entire my life was to stop drinking alcohol.

woodoo

FloatingVoter wrote: »

The trouble is there are not too many "other things" to do in Ireland. Rule out the larger cities - what are you going to do in small town Ireland apart from go down the pub ?

A typical irish person even one who would call themselves a regular drinker probably only goes to the pub once or twice a week for a few hours. I'd say if you asked people of all ages how often they go to pubs it could be as little as once a fortnight or month. What do they do for enjoyment. People play sports, join clubs, take up activities etc. Fun doesn't have to be had at night or in the evening. You can go and do an activity/sport all day and then do nothing at night. The pub doesn't need to be directly replaced with something.

miss no stars

I rarely go to the pub or out to clubs. What I do instead:

Sail
Dance
Gym
Meet friends from the above for coffee/lunch
Go shopping
Spend time with the family
Spend time with the BF and his family
Garden

Tbh it doesn't sound like a whole heap of stuff but I'm always short of time so... Seriously, if you can't find something to do other than sit with a pint in front of you then maybe you really do need to cut back on the pub for a while.

woodoo

zerks wrote: »

He's pretty much done that and trust me,the conversation about the other things he gets enjoyment from is very short.
Even I don't drink as much as I used to but I've other hobbies to take up my time which require a clear head.

He may have had to give it up and is not dealing with his sobriety well. There are plenty who don't. Its not always a happy ever after when people get sober. That workmate just sounds like life is pretty miserable for him sober. I think gazza is one of those he cant deal with life sober. Maybe someday he will bit its not looking good.