PHN calling our sons grandmother instead of us..

Snake

We were just told a few days ago that the PHN is calling my mother in law about my partner and I's baby... We were in her house when he was born so we gave her the home number as well as my mobile and my girlfriends... Now that's grand if she is calling the house phone looking for us, but she's not.. She has supposedly rang 3 times to find out how the baby is doing, and not ringing me or my partner at all.. She was in the hospital for a few days, and I informed the nurse of such when she called for hazel (the only time she has) and then phoned my mother in law to "confirm was she in the hospital) now this really pissed me off.. Why did she feel the need to confirm it? As if I'd be lying!! I don't know if I'm being OTT about this but I think its bloody ridiculous that she'd ring the babies grandmother and not his parents? Should I say something to the PHN or is this normal? Because it really annoys me that's she's doing this.

Just want to add that while hazel was in hospital (after birth) the nurses asked for her number, and she gave them mine because her phone wasn't working we were getting it unlocked so she could use a vodafone sim card because we dont have network coverage on meteor and she asked hazel was I controlling her?? I feel like the nurse might have told the PHN this and now she thinks I'm some sort of abuser or something? I'm obviously not, so if this was the case I'd be even more upset. I was taken into care as a child and I feel like I'm being excluded unfairly and if she had some idea like that in her head the baby could be taken from me or both of us... Am I being irrational or does it make sense to feel like that when the nurse asked her a question like that? I don't know why it upsets me when I know I'm not and Hazel does too, but I just feel like it was very rude of the nurse to say that considering hazel explained her phone was being unlocked and isn't working atm and naturally she didn't have a number till it was unlocked and we got a sim card...

Hannibal Smith

Well I suppose in reality the nurse only has two numbers to call. ..your number and the land line, because your girlfriend's number isn't working. And if they want to speak to your girlfriend I would have thought it natural they would ring the land line, given that home is the most likely place she'll be?

Neyite

Do you have guardianship sorted? If not then your girlfriends mother is default next of kin for your girlfriend in the event anything happened to her.

My partner needed me to give my consent in a doctors once- we are together 10 years but because we are not married he has precious few rights.

To give you another example, I had to sign the forms for the c-section myself, he couldn't consent for me. In the event that I was not conscious, my mother would have had to sign them.

With regard to domestic abuse, pregnancy is a massive trigger for DA to start for the first time in a relationship, so it does make sense for nurses to keep an eye out for it. It may also be one of the rare occasions a woman in that kind of relationship has contact with someone they can talk to about it. They also look out for signs of post natal depression too. It's not personal, really it's not, but anything that is unusual, like a grown woman not having her own phone is something you might see in a controlling relationship. You say that it's obvious that there is no DA there but you are wrong, DA is never obvious, it's always well hidden behind a charming facade. So they HAVE to look beyond the obvious. And they do it with all of us. It's just their job.

the nurse wants to talk to the baby's mother- to ask about how she is healing, how she is feeling, how she is coping too. Not the dad, he can't really answer those questions. If, every time she rings she gets you instead of your girlfriend then its no wonder she is ringing granny to check she is not missing a serious issue- it just shows she is doing her job.