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07-09-2014 9:47pm#1I don't know if anyone else would be interested in this but there's definitely some things I wish I'd known before I gave birth and I thought this could maybe be a good thread for new mums who aren't sure exactly what to expect?
There is a 4th Trimester - In my mind, labour was the big full stop at the end of pregnancy and the thing I focused on the most. I had some image that after pregnancy I'd be back to normal once our baby arrived so recovery after pregnancy was actually the hardest part of pregnancy for me because I wasn't prepared for it and I was very fragile emotionally.
I bled for over a month (despite the books mostly stating bleeding ends much sooner than that) and had discharge right up until I started my period at 7 weeks. I was really paranoid about what was normal and what wasn't and rang the Rotunda a couple of times and even called in for reassurance when around the 2 1/2 week mark the bleeding went back to bright red and heavier for no reason (it was nothing in the end). I had huge highs and lows emotionally with hormones, found breastfeeding (which I gave up just a few weeks back) very upsetting when it didn't work and worried whether I was being a good mum A LOT. Embarrassing as it sounds I often had to get reassurance from my fiancé that he loved me as much as our baba because I felt really paranoid that I was useless and that he was going to fall out of love with me. I relied on my fiancé hugely so having someone you can lean on is enormous at this time and he was incredible. Two months in, I began to feel myself again and now I feel really good but I realise now, there's a 4th trimester you may not know about so understanding it will make it much easier as I found it very, very hard! At 11 weeks postpartum my feet still get swollen every day, my pelvis is still sore, I have sciatica, an anal fissure (sorry about the TMI but it's very common as is haemorrhoids during and after) I can still get more emotional than I did before, bits of my hair are falling out (upstairs and downstairs!) and I'm exhausted. You honestly can't comprehend true exhaustion until the baby arrives. It's not the first night or the first week, it's when weeks start piling up on each other and much needed lie ins just seem to make you more tired! However, I finally feel confident with our baby that I'm a good mammy, and am starting to feel myself but it did take a good two months to start feeling normal again and your brain will be fried, we were in Next today and I just left the laser card in the machine and walked away, didn't realise until I went to pay for something in another shop! PS - Next babygros are great as they have built in mittens, something I didn't appreciate until our little lad realised he loves to claw at his face! Great for Autumn too!
To buy - (sorry the blogger in me demanded a collage....)
Tesco Maternity Pads : Less than €1.50 and suitably big for postpartum bleeding and the first (possibly) heavier periods. Speaking of, some will have horrible heavy painful periods, others will have nicer periods. Mine was a little heavy (a couple of clots) but pain free!
Fybogel : For the love of god have these and take them as soon as you have an inkling you need them. My bowels were wrecked for the first month after birth (something which no one told me about) and constipation caused an fissure which bleeds on and off unless I have enough fibre. It is agony girls so please have a pack of these on standby in case you need them. They won't have you running to the loo, they just soften everything down so you can pass what you need to pass easily.
Vitamins : It wasn't really stressed to me but it's a great thing to have vitamins lined up for after pregnancy. Either way you're going to lose a good deal of blood and be wrecked and run down after birth so good vitamins are essential to keep you feeling good!
MAM Starter Kit : If you're going to breastfeed or combine feed I found this set great from Argos. You get manual breastpump (quite good) nipple shields in a steralising case (this ended up the only way I could breastfeed as my nipples are flat) and the best thing of all, the MAM bottles. These are brilliant bottles for whatever way you choose to feed and come apart so you can steralise them in the microwave in three minutes so they're perfect for on the go!
Ready made bottles with teats or ready made cartons : Not in collage but these are a godsend. I planned to only breastfeed but only found out in the middle of the night when he was screaming and I had no midwives to rely on that having formula too can be an enormous help. Even to have a couple of cartons in the cupboard just in case! If you're planning on combined or formula feeding, grab a pack of the ready made bottles with teats, they're a godsend on those nights when you're running on empty!
Travella : If you get motion sickness you may know the wonders of Stugeron which I used to rely on before I fell pregnant and I knew I was fecked if I didn't find an alternative. Travella were a huge help during pregnancy and made travel ok again.
Lansinoh nipple cream : Soothes sore nipples and no need to clean off your boobs before you breastfeed!
Infacol : Very handy to have on standby incase baby gets bad wind. Our little lad loves the taste of this too! Also handy for wind is doing bicyle legs with the baby and the best winding technique we use (that midwife showed me) is sitting baby up with one hand cradling chin and cheeks and the other at back of head, then gently rotate the baby in circles, one way then the other and then side to side, works like a dream!
Clevamamma soother tree and Milton Travel Steraliser : Our lad likes to spit his dummies out a lot so they end up on the floor all the time. The Clevamamma will take a load of dummies and steralise them in three mins in the microwave and on the go the Milton steraliser will steralise one in 15!
That's all I can think of for now. We're exhausted but over the moon and more in love with each other than ever and completely in love with our little lad so everything is worth it! Please excuse any spelling mistakes, I'm like a zombie today!22
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I would recommend reading this book:
It helped me loads. There's some BS like in all of them but there's plenty of good tips on reading your baby's body language and understanding their cries.
I didn't realize that my son (5.5wks now) didn't like to be picked up and carried around
He's happiest when he's fed, changed and left on his own in his cot bed. At moment he's been kicking, talking, basically having great time for over an hour and I don't even have to be in the room - I just periodically pop my head in to ask if everything is alright 
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Join Date:Posts: 25439
This is an odd one, but it works!
post partum bleeding - open up a newborn nappy and use (without using sticky tabs) inside a pair of snug knickers (or even two pairs) for nighttime instead of maternity towels. No leaks due to the elasticated legs, very soft and absorbent, and wont bunch up the way a pad does.
I got travel sizes of toiletries of my favourite shampoo, conditioner and shower gels and other toiletries to use new in the hospital. So even if I didnt feel like me, I smelled like me. :pac:
Treat yourself to a nice changing bag. Like, really nice. It will probably double up as your handbag for everywhere for the next year (or more if you have another baby) And even when your child is out of nappies, if you have one that can convert into a normal tote, you are still going to need a handbag that can hold a couple of toys/ colouring books & crayons / tablet or whatever you may need to keep your preschooler(s) entertained when out and about. You can pick up a cheap manly one for the odd occasion that Dad is going out with baby without you. Unless you ARE the stay-at-home Dad, in which case, get a NICE manly changing bag :P
Teach Dad how to burp and let him be resident expert on getting wind up. That way, you can hand over after feeds and get well-needed rest in the early days. I was the burper in the house and there was some days I felt all I did was feed and burp and my partner tried, but it was usually me, really tired and by the time I'd the baby burped, got back into bed, tried to nap, it was nearly time for another feed!0 -
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Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths.
Did I mention muslin cloths?
They can be used as a burp cloth, to protect your clothes from spew, as a light cover in the car/buggy in the summer, to line the car seat/buggy on hot days so the baby doesn't get sweaty, as a cuddly thing for your baby to hold, as an emergency change mat cover if you get caught short, as a breastfeeding cover, for playing peek-a-boo with... you will find a million uses for them. Aldi occasionally sell the mega size ones, worth the couple of euro.
Everyone tells you to stock the freezer with nutritious meals for after the birth, but I'd say that's way down the list for most people. Do it. My mam arrived up with two lasagnes the day I got out of hospital and I nearly cried with happiness. Also, make sure it's stuff that can be eaten with one hand, and make sure it's portioned up so you can just whack it in the microwave.
Hire a cleaner/get a mate round/beg your mam to come round now and again and give the house a clean. Your OH won't be able to keep the place clean cos he'll be in the hospital with you as much as he can, when you get home it's all hands on deck with the baby and dishes and laundry pile up quick, and you will be too wrecked/sore to deal with it. I've already told my OH that we're getting a cleaner in every 2nd day for a fortnight when I have #2!
If you are washing bottles ad nauseum you might get sore hands - I've had dermatitis for months and months from having my hands in hot soapy water. Get a good hand cream. Lansinoh nipple cream is actually great for any sore cracked skin, I use it on my hands when they get bad.
You might not get out of your pyjamas some days. Make sure they're nice ones!
Smokey eyes point about how emotional and unsure of yourself you are is a good one. If my baby cried, at all, I had myself convinced I was doing everything wrong. Find a friend with kids who is good with advice, but who you know won't push their own agenda/parenting methods as the be all and end all and who won't lecture. You will need advice, you won't need judgement or criticism.
Get a decent camera, and keep it charged and out with you, not in a drawer, so it's always ready to take a few snaps. The majority of my son's first year has been captured on an iphone, we've very few proper photos!
Trust your instinct. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Don't let people undermine you by dismissing concerns as new mother fretting. My son had reflux and no one would listen to me, even my GP.
And don't forget, babies are designed to withstand new parents. You'll be fine
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Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths. Muslin cloths.
Did I mention muslin cloths?
They can be used as a burp cloth, to protect your clothes from spew, as a light cover in the car/buggy in the summer, to line the car seat/buggy on hot days so the baby doesn't get sweaty, as a cuddly thing for your baby to hold, as an emergency change mat cover if you get caught short, as a breastfeeding cover, for playing peek-a-boo with... you will find a million uses for them. Aldi occasionally sell the mega size ones, worth the couple of euro.
Everyone tells you to stock the freezer with nutritious meals for after the birth, but I'd say that's way down the list for most people. Do it. My mam arrived up with two lasagnes the day I got out of hospital and I nearly cried with happiness. Also, make sure it's stuff that can be eaten with one hand, and make sure it's portioned up so you can just whack it in the microwave.
Hire a cleaner/get a mate round/beg your mam to come round now and again and give the house a clean. Your OH won't be able to keep the place clean cos he'll be in the hospital with you as much as he can, when you get home it's all hands on deck with the baby and dishes and laundry pile up quick, and you will be too wrecked/sore to deal with it. I've already told my OH that we're getting a cleaner in every 2nd day for a fortnight when I have #2!
If you are washing bottles ad nauseum you might get sore hands - I've had dermatitis for months and months from having my hands in hot soapy water. Get a good hand cream. Lansinoh nipple cream is actually great for any sore cracked skin, I use it on my hands when they get bad.
You might not get out of your pyjamas some days. Make sure they're nice ones!
Smokey eyes point about how emotional and unsure of yourself you are is a good one. If my baby cried, at all, I had myself convinced I was doing everything wrong. Find a friend with kids who is good with advice, but who you know won't push their own agenda/parenting methods as the be all and end all and who won't lecture. You will need advice, you won't need judgement or criticism.
Get a decent camera, and keep it charged and out with you, not in a drawer, so it's always ready to take a few snaps. The majority of my son's first year has been captured on an iphone, we've very few proper photos!
Trust your instinct. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Don't let people undermine you by dismissing concerns as new mother fretting. My son had reflux and no one would listen to me, even my GP.
And don't forget, babies are designed to withstand new parents. You'll be fine
Great advice, for a few weeks we used plastic plates and cutlery so everything was just dumped after dins! Not great for the environment but really helped at the time!!0 -
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