When a member of the public questions your parenting?

JeffKenna

JimBobPlayer wrote: »

Yes. Given the circumstances. Not ideal. But entirely understandable.

I must say I'm totally shocked. There seems to be a group in this thread that find it acceptable to shout abuse towards an old women. Sad really.

crazy_kenny

drumswan wrote: »

If your kid is creating a disturbance in a public place and you can - remove them.

This is something I will consider in the future. However, at the time we felt it wasn't a disturbance which merited major action. At no time was she screaming, jumping, kicking, slapping etc....

Moonbeam

*Moderator note*

This is a parenting forum.
This is not a place to abuse other posters so on that note I am closing this thread if the topic is not kept on topic.

Mary63

If you are posting this nonsense and looking for sympathy then answer the question,why were you doing the shopping later,you know dont you you hit the shop at the busiest time,you knew your child was tired.I feel sorry for the child actually,you both work during the week and instead of a nice family outing you use your time off to stick her in a trolley and do your weekly shop,could one of you not take her swimming or to the park while the other does the shopping,it might avoid you inflicting her on other shoppers in future.

We were out for lunch in Bray last week and met friends on our way out the door,they were very upset over a screaming child sitting behind them,he or she had screamed continously for an hour,both parents listening and no effort made to take child out.My friends already had their glass of wine in front of them they work hard all week,cant afford to go out much and the family lunch was ruined by these inconsiderate parents and their children.
I really hate parents telling their children in August that Santy wont come to them if they dont behave,what is the point of this crap,meaningless threats which mean nothing to a three year old.

sillysmiles

JimBobPlayer wrote: »

Yes. Given the circumstances. Not ideal. But entirely understandable.

The question was: "do you think the OP was right?"

Right and understandable are not the same thing.

Essentially the OP behaved like a knacker and now wants all the parents to say you were right.


You were stressed. You were under pressure. Your actions were, to some people, understandable. But were you right? I don't think so.

JimBobPlayer

sillysmiles wrote: »

The question was: "do you think the OP was right?"

Right and understandable are not the same thing.

Essentially the OP behaved like a knacker and now wants all the parents to say you were right.


You were stressed. You were under pressure. Your actions were, to some people, understandable. But were you right? I don't think so.

All is fair in love, war and when someone insults your child.

crazy_kenny

Mary63 wrote: »

If you are posting this nonsense and looking for sympathy then answer the question,why were you doing the shopping later,you know dont you you hit the shop at the busiest time,you knew your child was tired.I feel sorry for the child actually,you both work during the week and instead of a nice family outing you use your time off to stick her in a trolley and do your weekly shop,could one of you not take her swimming or to the park while the other does the shopping,it might avoid you inflicting her on other shoppers in future.

We were out for lunch in Bray last week and met friends on our way out the door,they were very upset over a screaming child sitting behind them,he or she had screamed continously for an hour,both parents listening and no effort made to take child out.My friends already had their glass of wine in front of them they work hard all week,cant afford to go out much and the family lunch was ruined by these inconsiderate parents and their children.
I really hate parents telling their children in August that Santy wont come to them if they dont behave,what is the point of this crap,meaningless threats which mean nothing to a three year old.

Let me repeat myself again. At no stage was our daughter screaming.


Read the first post again slowly. I posted about my experience on Saturday and asked how other people dealt with this type of situation. I completely understand I could of made a better choice but I didn't on the day.

Tasden

crazy_kenny wrote: »

This is something I will consider in the future. However, at the time we felt it wasn't a disturbance which merited major action. At no time was she screaming, jumping, kicking, slapping etc....

But it was still a disturbance. Whether you deem it as minor or not doesn't really matter, if your child is disturbing other people then you stop them. A minor disturbance to parents (who lets face it are pretty immune to the moans and whines of children) can be a huge headache for someone trying to do their shopping on a saturday afternoon.

sillysmiles

Most people do not like other people's kids. So don't expect them to have the same tolerance or patience with them as you have.

It seems to me, that parents (not necessarily the OP, but in general) don't hear the the slow build of whinging and moaning that children do before it becomes a full blown scream.

That noise goes through you when you are not related to or constantly surrounded by small people.

FactCheck

crazy_kenny wrote: »

However, at the time we felt it wasn't a disturbance which merited major action.

I think if everybody in the shop was looking at you, it was a disturbance which merited major action.

Sometimes with toddlers and babies we get our sense of what's normal warped a little bit because their default mode is loud and lively!

I would honestly take it in turns to have one of you do the shop when it's busy in future, and the other one spend some quality time playing with the kiddo.

Mary63

You felt better about yourself after you terrorised an elderly person,she could have died of fright.
You are no gentleman that is for sure.
Believe it or not most decent people would not engage in the verbal abuse of elderly people no matter what the provocation,they would simply ignore the comment from the passerby,the old lady should have ignored your dd but maybe old lady has special needs too.Why do you think your dd with special needs should have allowances made for her when you cant make allowances for an elderly person who may have dementia or could be in pain.
I hope your partner was doubly upset after your bullying outburst,find out how to do online shopping,it isnt that difficult.

OldNotWIse

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

I think the only thing you did wrong was wait to rip into her fair play to you, take no notice of gob****es like her, i had one start with me last year on a bus, she got a swift "shut the **** up and mind your own business, you don't like his crying then get off at the next stop and get the next bus"

Funny thing is 4 stops later an auld one of about 80 was getting off and said "fair ****s to ya son, kids cry and feck all you can do about it" loud enough for the whole bus to hear

The whinger (in her 40's i reckon) went bright red

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Children when they are tired will cry, my young lad was tired and the sooner i got him home the sooner he could sleep, i didn't "order" anyone off the bus i said she had the option if she chose to use it.

cat_dog

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

I think the only thing you did wrong was wait to rip into her fair play to you, take no notice of gob****es like her, i had one start with me last year on a bus, she got a swift "shut the **** up and mind your own business, you don't like his crying then get off at the next stop and get the next bus"

Funny thing is 4 stops later an auld one of about 80 was getting off and said "fair ****s to ya son, kids cry and feck all you can do about it" loud enough for the whole bus to hear

The whinger (in her 40's i reckon) went bright red

I thought OP was bad until I read your post. You sound like a total scumbag. Shame on you.

Sittingpretty

Yelling at people for being rude and unhelpful about your children makes you no better than the person judgemental enough to comment on your tantruming child in the first place. Same stable.

No one, parent or not wants to endure children having a tantrum. If you have the option to, remove your child from the situation.

Moonbeam

cat_dog wrote: »

I thought OP was bad until I read your post. You sound like a total scumbag. Shame on you.

Report posts, do not call an other poster a scumbag please

FurBabyMomma

spurious wrote: »

Extraordinary thing to do if the child does not have a disability.

Spurious I took the time to read every post on this thread and the OP said that his child had Turners Syndrome, hence my suggestion. I would not for one second suggest that a parent say their child had a condition when they didn't!!!

cat_dog

Moonbeam wrote: »

Report posts, do not call an other poster a scumbag please

I said he/she sounded like a scumbag. Sorry if I broke any rules..

Mary63

I hate taking buses anywhere,I dont really want to share airspace with people like Timberrrrrrrrrrr,grr. He or she sounds like a total loser,no wonder he or she cant afford a car.

Sittingpretty

Mary63 wrote: »

I hate taking buses anywhere,I dont really want to share airspace with people like Timberrrrrrrrrrr,grr. He or she sounds like a total loser,no wonder he or she cant afford a car.

Mary, to be honest you don't "sound" like a gem yourself to be fair

share bear

I don't condone the OP actions but I am quite shocked with how many people have such a problem with children and public places. Some children are just loud and noisy and some are quite and placid, and this is not always a result of parenting or their surroundings.

I take my 14 month old to do the shopping because I like to choose the products myself etc.. While he has never had a tantrum,he is a noisy enough little man as he has found his voice and just likes to chat to me while he's in the trolly. He in no way misbehaves.

I would be shocked if somebody said something to me about this. There are many things I might find a little irritating while in public places but I would never say anything or let it get to me as it is a public place. Granted there are places I would avoid bringing him so as not to disturb people but I would never expect anyone to exclude themselves from somewhere to please other people.

Moonbeam

ok,this is getting worse, so now I am closing this thread.

January

Mary62 warned for attacking the poster and not the post.

Orion

January wrote: »

Mary62 warned for attacking the poster and not the post.

I didn't spot you'd applied a yellow before I applied a 1 week ban for personal abuse ... ah well.