I Can't Believe I Just Did/Said That ....!

MentalMario

Being asked if I saw some of The Fappening pics, I reply with I may have come across them alright. Que tonnes of girls laughing. Awkward...

...only funny because it was true :O

Jarrod

LenaClaire wrote: »

I failed badly at making a cup tea at work a few years ago :

Me making tea:
add tea bags to cup
add hot water
take un opened sachet of sugar
throw sugar directly into cup WITHOUT opening packet
stare at cup with sugar packet floating in it
10 second processing delay
realize what I have just done
stick fingers into boiling hot water to get sugar out
stick fingers in mouth to cool them off
stare at cup
say screw it
scoop out sugar packet
add milk
drink tea anyway

Had a similar experience:
Made tea and dipped a biscuit in said tea
Held it in there for too long and it broke off
Stick my hand in to scoop it out, the biscuit is all mushy and squishes through my fingers and I burn my hand
I grab a metal tea spoon to scoop out the biscuit and eat it, thus burning my mouth
So, I ended up with a burnt hand, burnt mouth and a ****ty cup of biscuit tea.

Jawgap

Have picked up the phone at home to make a call and automatically hit "9" for an outside line:o. ...........actually do that quite regularly.

Recently, I've begun to assume that all laptop and computer screens are touch enabled.....

sadie06

Hungover many moons ago in work on a Monday morning. Went to loo to put on some makeup, blotted lips with tissue after applying lipstick, then threw the lipstick into the toilet instead of the tissue. Time stood still as I processed what had just happened. :-)

azul

Where's the feckin box of cerial? You just put it in the fridge!!

Karmella

Once when I was on the treadmill at the gym I kinda tripped over myself and went flying off the end. Jumped up in that 'nothing to see here' kind of way and promptly stepped back up on the treadmill - only the bloody thing was still running so I immediately went flying off again.

Morto.

syklops

It took me 3 years of living abroad wondering why the Jamie Oliver stuff and Irn Bru was in the ethnic section, until I figured out why.

syklops

sadie06 wrote: »

Hungover many moons ago in work on a Monday morning. Went to loo to put on some makeup, blotted lips with tissue after applying lipstick, then threw the lipstick into the toilet instead of the tissue. Time stood still as I processed what had just happened. :-)

Very jet lagged in a hotel in Boston(Yeah Boston, but I was tired first and then jet lagged), having breakfast and stirred my pot of tea to strengthen it, and then poured the milk into the pot. Then realised what I did. Then felt like a fool. Then left, ashamed. Then met some equally jet lagged and tired and hungover Romanians and told them what I did and they felt my pain.

FanadMan

At least once a week I'll get into the shower and wonder why I can't see properly..........because I keep forgetting to take off my feckin glasses!

Quite a few times when making coffee I'll reach for the tin of gravy granules instead of the Millicano. I know one is red and the other is silver but the hand just grabs the wrong one :

FloatingVoter

Having a bath. I sink in. Nice and relaxed and realise the ****ing towel is downstairs in the wash. Cue wet naked man searching for spare towel. This happens on a regular basis which leads me to think I have a mental gap regarding towels. I blame Douglas Adams.

Bipolar Joe

whiskeyman wrote: »

If I shower in the evening after coming home from sports, I've often thrown my dirty socks and jocks in the toilet, thinking it was the linen basket... in a proper slam dunk motion for added effect too!! Only seeing it leave my hand do I realise... Doh!!

Thankfully, never mixed it up the other way around!

You've never thrown a toilet at your socks ?

A few times I've been walking to the shop with my headphones on, then I realise I don't have my MP3 player. Just wearing some headphones.

whitewave

There's a sign at the exit of our office showing an image of a big green button, to explain you've to push the button to open the door. I regularly push the picture of the button and then smack into the door wondering why it isn't opening.

J Mysterio

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

You've never thrown a toilet at your socks ?

A few times I've been walking to the shop with my headphones on, then I realise I don't have my MP3 player. Just wearing some headphones.

Hasnt taken a sh1t in the linen basket.

rainbow kirby

5 mile run on a hot day thinking "I wish I had my sunglasses". They were on my head, over my hairband, the whole time.

Sadderday

panic stations when I was floating through the duty free in Dublin airport and realised I lost my bag.

I ran around for probably 18-20 seconds FREAKING out and the OH told me....

You checked it in.

Jawgap

azul wrote: »

Where's the feckin box of cerial? You just put it in the fridge!!

Brought some shopping in one day and - for once - put it away properly, putting my car keys in the fridge.

Few minutes later needed to go out again and spent the best part of two hours pulling the house apart trying to find my keys - it was only when I stopped and decided to have a cup of tea that I found them sitting in the fridge when I went for the milk.

Lesson learned: a cup of tea solves most of life's problems.

rainbow kirby wrote: »

5 mile run on a hot day thinking "I wish I had my sunglasses". They were on my head, over my hairband, the whole time.

On the bike one day, enjoying a lovely sunny sunday morning - the warmth, the wind, the quiet roads.......zipping down a very steep hill I'm really enjoying the sunny morning, the wind........the wind.......why does it feel so fresh?...........because I'm doing 70km/hr + down a hill........and because I then realised I'd forgotten to put my helmet on - probably wouldn't have saved me at that speed, but it would be nice to have some protection in the case of a spill:)

Which reminds me.......

Drove into an underground car park once - forgot my bike was on the roof carrier - the sound of the height restriction bar at the entrance to the car park being ripped from its fixings and falling on the roof of the car was a timely reminder.......

......the bike, thankfully, was unharmed.

JuliusCaesar

Reading a (paper) newspaper, and absently glancing at the top right corner to check the time....



more than once.

Yesterday I tried to drive off without turning on the car.

Today I have just one earring in.

anncoates

Once put out my hand to 'hail' a Luas at the stop.

Have went to work in odd shoes twice in the last year or two.

magicmushroom

I regularly go to put my deodorant on and realise I have only shaved under one arm.

Spent some time looking for the salt grinder the other day, it was in the fridge along with the tin foil.

ETA - I have on more than one occassion left the car keys in the ignition of my car overnight, thank god I only have a sh!tty old banger that no one would ever think to steal!

caolfx

Was waiting at the baggage belt after arriving for a holiday.

30mins later and no sign of the bag....well...there was A bag there. Girlfriend at the time says 'oh there it is'.

Of course me being stubborn was like 'that's not my bag!' I was told over and over to at least go over and check. 'Look I know what my bloody bag looks like' - it was a large Berhaus duffle bag.

So I went over to make a baggage claim. On the off chance on the way back I was passing the conveyor belt again so I decided just to check..

..it was my bag alright. I didn't recognise it as it was upside down!

pickarooney

czechlin wrote: »

You forgot oranges, that's a bit mean! :pac:

Orange gatherings have been known to leave a bitter aftertaste.

eviltimeban

I used the wrong treatment on the deck of my yacht.

I was quite the talk of the club.

MarkR

I've sprayed shaving cream on, instead of deodorant. Then looked at it. Then giggled.

Barely There

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

A few times I've been walking to the shop with my headphones on, then I realise I don't have my MP3 player. Just wearing some headphones.

I once arrived home from a night out with the OH.
She said she was tired and headed to bed. I was still awake so said I was going to listen to some music.
I fancied something loud and as it was the early hours of the morning, I got my big over-the-ear headphones, popped a cd in the player (yes, this was a while ago), and turned on the music.
I was lying on the floor and I had the music turned up really, really loud.
I saw the door of the living room open up and the OH was standing there talking to me with a concerned look on her face.
Obviously I could just see her mouth moving, couldn't hear a thing over the music, so I took off my earphones - whereupon the volume of the music actually increased.

I'd forgotten to plug the headphone jack into the socket.

OH said she was in the bedroom when she heard me putting on some music and turning it up to a ear-splittingly, wall-shakingly loud volume, and thought I lost my mind or something.

She was really relieved to discover that it was only me being an idiot.

clappyhappy

Was talking to my sister last night, she was telling me the baby had a few bad days and nights last week. By Thursday they were all hoping to get a good nights sleep.

About 2 in morning they wake up to a peeping sound. Hubby goes down stairs, realises it's the battery in the carbon monoxide alarm. Sleepily he takes out battery, still beeping, he then cuts the wires in it thinking they may be a back up alarm. Still beeping, puts under cushion, still can hear it, then decides to put it in garage, walks outside, still hears a peep. Fecks it into garage, comes in locks the door, PEEP again. He realises he made ****e of a good alarm. It was the smoke alarm.

Goes to bed 20 mins later, only for electricity to go off and house alarm starts peeping. Baby awakes shortly after, great nights sleep, not!!!

OldNotWIse

I like the flavour but not the texture of mushrooms. I fancied some mushroom soup one day and heated a can of it. I decided to use a colander to strain out the bits of mushroom.

I put the colander into the sink and fúcked in the soup - leaving me with a colander full of mushrooms and my soup gone down the sink.

OldNotWIse

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I like the flavour but not the texture of mushrooms. I fancied some mushroom soup one day and heated a can of it. I decided to use a colander to strain out the bits of mushroom.

I put the colander into the sink and fúcked in the soup - leaving me with a colander full of mushrooms and my soup gone down the sink.

This is exactly the kind of thing I do

Glad I'm not alone :pac:

sbsquarepants

Deleted User wrote: »

Yesterday I tried to drive off without turning on the car.
.

Few years back the girlfriend needed the car, so she came with me to work so she could take it then. I go in throw my phone on the desk, grab my cup and off with me for a cup of tea, talk some shíte etc and get back to my desk maybe 10-15 minutes later to something like 20 missed calls from herself. The car is broken, can I come out and have a look.
Only then do I realise I have the car key in my pocket. I just automatically took it out without thinking and she never even realised the engine wasn't running - just that the car wouldn't move!

herisson

Calling the house phone and asking:

"Are you at home?"

junior_apollo

Connect headphones to PC...
Put headphones on...
Listen to music...

All good...

Someone comes over to ask me a question...
Whip my head around and forget the headphones are wired in and nearly break my own neck and tear the connection out of the PC...

I've done it a number of times with phone charger (usb) cables, headphones etc...

Cee-Jay-Cee

I forgot to do something this morning but I can't remember what it is.

Sunhill

About six years ago I had to travel from Cork to a certain Galway town. Booked myself into a hotel there. Arrived late in the evening, opened the boot of the car and discovered I'd left my suitcase at home.

Last month I had to go to the same Galway town for the first time since then. Said to myself 'I'll never forget that hotel' as I made the booking.
Arrived late in the evening. opened the boot of the car and discovered I'd left my suitcase at home.

Tell me how

Years ago was cycling into town when the front brake bracket came loose and jammed the wheel firing me out over the handlebars and on to the ground. A lady driving behind me stopped and ran up to me asking me was I ok. I was mortified, tried to ignore here, put the bracket back on and tore up the road. Less than 100 yards later the exact same thing happened. While I was lying on the ground the second time all I saw was the lady's car drive past. I'd say she went home thinking "That is one messed up young lad"!!

kylith

Barely There wrote: »

I once arrived home from a night out with the OH.
She said she was tired and headed to bed. I was still awake so said I was going to listen to some music.
I fancied something loud and as it was the early hours of the morning, I got my big over-the-ear headphones, popped a cd in the player (yes, this was a while ago), and turned on the music.
I was lying on the floor and I had the music turned up really, really loud.
I saw the door of the living room open up and the OH was standing there talking to me with a concerned look on her face.
Obviously I could just see her mouth moving, couldn't hear a thing over the music, so I took off my earphones - whereupon the volume of the music actually increased.

I'd forgotten to plug the headphone jack into the socket.

OH said she was in the bedroom when she heard me putting on some music and turning it up to a ear-splittingly, wall-shakingly loud volume, and thought I lost my mind or something.

She was really relieved to discover that it was only me being an idiot.

Did that on a packed train once. I couldn't figure out why the volume was so low so I turned everything up full, then someone tapped me on the arm and said "Eh, we can all hear that, you know."

Absolutely mortified.

At least once a month I walk around the place looking for my reading glasses, only to eventually find them on top of my head.

Pumpkinseeds

Usually I do things like heating the oven and forgetting to put the food in the oven. Or putting pots on the hob and forgetting to switch the cooker on. Other frequent senior moments are forgetting to turn the washing machine on. There's also the immersion heater, forgetting to turn that on or off happens a lot.:o

Betty Bloggs

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I like the flavour but not the texture of mushrooms. I fancied some mushroom soup one day and heated a can of it. I decided to use a colander to strain out the bits of mushroom.

I put the colander into the sink and fúcked in the soup - leaving me with a colander full of mushrooms and my soup gone down the sink.

Deleted User wrote: »

This is exactly the kind of thing I do

Glad I'm not alone :pac:

Even I as I was reading along I was thinking "Yes all perfectly reasonable steps to do - strain the mushrooms over the sink" only when I got to "my soup gone down the sink" that I thought erm yes, I suppose that is what would happen....
Could completely see myself doing something similar when I'm rushing about the kitchen or tired like now.

Generic Dreadhead

In an interview for a sales support job got asked how my German was (did it in school).
I said it was ok, I could understand a decent bit but wouldn't feel comfortable speaking/writing it in any official capacity.
The interviewer goes "Oh right, I only speak one language"....
Queue goldfish faced me going "Oh yeah? What's that?
Big massive laugh from both of the people interviewing me going "English of course" hahaha
But then......
Me: "Oh right, i thought you were going to make some cheesy joke about how you only speak the language of sales"
Big laughs all round.
Hey-ooo what a zinger
Got the job - still in it today!
True story

Ditch

Ficheall wrote: »

I want some stew

Can we come around for dinner, OP?

Most welcome!

padd b1975 wrote: »

Where the fcuk is here???

You'd know it as " There ". If ye knew where it was.

J Mysterio wrote: »

How long have you been eating stew every night for?

Irish stew?

It's made in Eire. From local ingredients. I guess it might well consider itself an " Irish Stew " ?

How long have I eaten this for? Dunno. I don't keep a dietary diary. But, I tend to go a year or two, eating the same meal, every night. I genuinely just lack imagination and facilities

I am pie wrote: »

Leitrim man dies from massive stew overdose.

Naah. I only have the same, five ladles a night. Unless it should become chronic stew poisoning ....?

My name is URL wrote: »

All I know is that now I want a flan dish full of stew

Coming right up ....!

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Have went to take the first mouthful of my first coffee of the morning and realised it's hot water and sugar. Worst part is I've done this more than once

There Is no worse way to start ye day, is there?! I drink tea, with molasses. Actually, forgetting the tea bag isn't so bad. But, tea without the molasses?! :eek:

kingchess wrote: »

back when I was a smoker 25 years ago and driving home from work I lit my cigarette with a match(not easy when driving but it was a quite and straight country road) and then threw the cig instead of the match out the window,(how times change-I would not dream of throwing even a match out the window these days)

Loved That! (Ever stuck a tailor made in, back to front. Lit the filter and inhaled?! Jeeeesuss!!!

lazeedaisy wrote: »

The other day I forgot to turn on slow cooker, first time in EVER,

No dinner for me,

Been there! €17.00 for fish and chips! Tenner of that's for the f**king taxi to bring it out here. If I don't have cash to hand? I have to get a cab In, to get the face, chapes and fare back home!

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I like the flavour but not the texture of mushrooms. I fancied some mushroom soup one day and heated a can of it. I decided to use a colander to strain out the bits of mushroom.

I put the colander into the sink and fúcked in the soup - leaving me with a colander full of mushrooms and my soup gone down the sink.

Another f**king belter! Superb!


Thanks for the fun, folks. Now, most especially for " My Name Is Url " .....

Dinner Is Served!

TheChizler

Ditch wrote: »

Thanks for the fun, folks. Now, most especially for " My Name Is Url " .....

Dinner Is Served!

Wow

Capt'n Midnight

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I made a raisin scone earlier, forgot to put the bloody raisins in it.

Be very careful , friend of mine got killed when he tried something like that. Got pulled under by a strong current.

endacl

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Be very careful , friend of mine got killed when he tried something like that. Got pulled under by a strong current.

Feck. Joe Duffy wouldn't allow that on funny Friday. Even Sil Fox wouldn't stoop that low.

Bad, bad, joke. Feel shame. Immediately.

Son Of A Vidic

endacl wrote: »

Feck. Joe Duffy wouldn't allow that on funny Friday. Even Sil Fox wouldn't stoop that low.

Bad, bad, joke. Feel shame. Immediately.

Yes I agree, I was even thinking he should be probably sconed for it....:pac:


*Gets coat*

i got to interview my idols tonight it was amazing i am still high from the experience

cruais

4am start for work. Alarm goes off at 2.45am.

Rise and shine. Get my uniform on, which includes a long coat and as it was winter months it was a must wear.

All going well until I reached my car park. Lent out of the car door to swipe into the car park.... I think to myself, why are my legs so cold?

Ah yes, that's why! I forgot to put on my skirt. Remembered that I left it on the hanger on the handle of the kitchen door after I ironed it.

Imagine the phone call to the control room to explain that one.

Of course I lied. I said I forgot my ID.

Nomis21

I had a test drive for a bus driving job in Holland and I tried to get in the bus on the left hand side but there was no entrance door on that side because they have left hand drive buses in Holland so the door is on the right.

I thought I'd failed for this but then I found the door and much to my amazement passed the driving test.

Mentally trying to press CTRL+F while reading a newspaper to search for a particular word

J Mysterio

Ditch wrote: »

Dinner Is Served!

Im sorry to say thats really one the worst things I have ever seen. I honestly cant believe you have been eating this every night for two years.

Am I right i thinking you dont actually make this yourself?

jesus christ! Buy a student cook book or something!

Ditch

Why would I want a student cook book? I've no access to students.

Spuds. Turnips. Dash of carrot (The Dogs get most of that though) Cow. Happy Ditch!

I do realise that doesn't look at its best. It's been reheated in the micro. The meat looks a little dried out. Maybe the whole thing does?

But, you can't smell it. Ye've never ate it before. Ye've no concept of how good it tastes. Perhaps ye one of these sorts getting to eat more than once a day?

Fukcing doctor, in a hospital, once said to me; " One meal a day ....?! I'd like to see you eating Four meals a day! "

I came straight back at him: " And I'd like to see You fukcing Paying for it!!! "

We left it there.