Transformers Age of Extinction

krudler

Overheal wrote: »

On the opposite side of the spectrum look at either power ranger movie. I mean bad example, but you still have toy-esque giant robots that are just vomit on the screen for different reasons

Pacific Rim got it right, big robots that actually look like robots

Thanos

Just out of curiosity, how do the dinobots come to be in this movie, do they just drop drop from space...????

BrookieD

hazard a guess they were buried with the ship that crashed all them years back?

BlitzKrieg

pixelburp wrote: »

Strangely, and admittedly I'm working from memory, but I found Transformers 1 had the best looking effects, despite being the oldest film; perhaps that was because of the films thus far it had the least vomit-inducing camera work. I disagree a static shot would have solved the problem with identifying the Transformers. It definitely would have helped, but once the robots started fighting & jumping about, their identities still got very confusing due to their core design being formed from that complex metalwork.

Maybe it's just a case of old-man Pixelburp incapable of keeping up with these new-fangled action films.

transformers 1 doesnt have a lot of cgi and thats why it has the best sfx,

its the same logic as jurassic park...just without you know actual thought put into it.

The actual really high quality cgi that stick in people's minds is actually very little of the film, with most of the film cutting away from the transformers most of the time or the shots are of those really pretty robots standing around.

consider the first big fight of the movie bumblebee vs barricade

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JK9weTYGiU

it's a 4 minute scene and the 2 robots going head to head is less then 30 seconds of it.

the rest is on the humans being chased by distinctly less impressive (both by design and work put into it) mini robot.

It's not just this fight, you'd be surprised if you look through each setpiece in transformers how much is actually unseen in the movie. I mean the big highlight of the movie was the optimus vs bonecrusher sequence, its less then 2 minutes long. all of the optimus vs megatron fight barely reaches over 3 minutes.

It's like when you actually break it down not a lot of what you see in the original jurassic park is actual CGI but a clever combination of animatronics, puppetry and editing, you could take a similar 4 minute sequence from the t-rex scene and find a similar amount of actual cgi, it's just put together a lot better.

and like jurassic park's own sequels, transformer's sequels went bigger by using more cgi and looks clearly worse for it.

I dont think its wrong to have the cgi shots be so minimal, it's just very clear in the film that the structuring around them is so p*ss poor with no attempt to build around those shots, instead just cutting away to other nonsense with humans.

Mitch Connor

really looking forward to this.

I hope Marky Mark plays a down to earth relateble hero, someone just trying to get through life and provide for his family - i think that would provide a really good touch point for a movie about Giant ROBOTS fighting each other. I think this movie is going to need a really incredibly strong human presence throughout so we don't start thinking about the giant robots fighting each other too much, and move away from the desired gritty realism.

beakerjoe

Its the same for me as it was with TF3, I have no expectations of this being good, after the previous film but I will go watch as a fan. Its what I do regardless of how bad it may be as I have to at least give it a chance.

krudler

Running time is 165 minutes..

nix

krudler wrote: »

Pacific Rim got it right, big robots that actually look like robots

I love Pacific rim, kinda hoping Guill does the sequel next instead of Hellboy 3.

This movie however is going to be a piece of absolute ****, please everybody, dont go to see this PLEASE.. They will stop making them if we all chip in! or chip out in this case!

Oh gawd!!

:pac:

constitutionus

dont know if this is some kind of printing error or the posters imported from the states or something but forbidden planet on aston quay has the age of extinction poster covering its windows this morning saying the release date is july 5th.

can anyone clarify ?

badger57

How has this franchise reached number 4? They're terrible movies!

e_e

badger57 wrote: »

How has this franchise reached number 4? They're terrible movies!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

krudler

Ha, brilliant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ik2ikgOyNU

Ipso

Aint it Cool have a couple hlowing reviews up.

beakerjoe

Ipso wrote: »

Aint it Cool have a couple hlowing reviews up.

Link?

runawaybishop

beakerjoe wrote: »

Link?

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/67792

The introduction of the Dinobots, a fan favorite, is perfunctory and doesn't make much sense in the larger scheme of things - but at this point, who cares? They're barely in it anyway, literal deus ex machinas with no character at all. They don't even speak, so we don't get to hear Grimlock say anything like "GRIMLOCK SMASH!" or anything approaching coherency.

also

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/67790

krudler

25% on rt.com, was anyone actually expecting this to be good? like really?http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_age_of_extinction/

BlitzKrieg

No, I was waiting more to see what ridiculous racial stereotype Bay presents this time or how over the top the sexualisation of the female characters will be.

You know popcorn out for the train wreck. Wont bother with the movie (didnt bother with third either) but will sit and watch the threads and forums burn

krudler

What's annoying is that there's plenty of possibility for someone to make a decent Transformers movie, with actual characters instead of interchangeable indistinguishable robots but no, lets concentrate on the small town americans and the CIA guys again. There was a interview on tv I saw with Mark Wahlberg where he was saying stuff like "these are new and interesting characters" and you could tell he didnt believe a word of it.

This could make a great drinking game :pac:

beakerjoe

"Transformers: Age of Extinction has appalling dialogue, deplorable representations of women, un-self-aware action sequences, very little humour and racial stereotyping. In other words, it's a Michael Bay movie. "

Says it all really... was hoping for something at least closer to the first movie

krudler

I know I'm going to wind up seeing this on the cheap, and 99% of the reason for that is Stanley Tucci, I love that man in everything but you know he's going to be the John Turturro of this movie, talented but wasted in a pointless role.

johnny_ultimate

While this franchise's continuing commercial success often makes a single, solitary tear roll down my eye, on the plus side we do get some damn good pull quotes:

Newark Star-Ledger:

One-hundred-and-sixty-five minutes. Think about that.

Seattle Times:

Hello, police? I'd like to report an assault.

The Wrap:

Feels less like a movie than a product of the cinema-industrial complex.

The Dissolve:

Give Age Of Extinction this much credit: Of all the Transformers movies, this is the longest.

CraveOnline:

It may be loud and stupid, but at least it's loud and stupid.

Turtwig

I enjoy these movies.

Park my brain at the door and just relax with all the sensational explosions and bangs.

johnny_ultimate

According to the Dissolve, this happens in the film:

Wandering through the decaying ruins of a once-glorious movie palace, the characters bemoan the current state of Hollywood. “The movies nowadays!” one gripes. “Sequels and remakes, a bunch of crap.”

If ever you doubted Michael Bay is actively mocking you for paying to see his films :eek:

krudler

johnny_ultimate wrote: »

According to the Dissolve, this happens in the film:



If ever you doubted Michael Bay is actively mocking you for paying to see his films :eek:

They do that in both Jump St movies too, only difference being they were enjoyable and did it with more of a nod and wink than a "thanks for the money you stupid fucks"

Burgo

johnny_ultimate wrote: »

According to the Dissolve, this happens in the film:



If ever you doubted Michael Bay is actively mocking you for paying to see his films :eek:

It really does appear to be a case of seen one seen em all.

constitutionus

so bays basically done to the dinos what he did to the constructicons/devastator.

FFS !

I didnt expect them to have a huge part in this ,but i wanted me a prime/grimlock slagging match and now it seems we dont even get the breif starscream/megs jibe in the 1st film !

ive never understood simon furmans catchphrase more ! *



* ( "it NEVER ends ! " for those not in the know )

weirdly this is the first TF film where im actually more interested in seeing kelsy grammer and stanly tucci. maybe its because ive given up on getting a decent character arc for any of the bots off of bay. im starting to feel sorry for cullen having to read out this tripe. especially after the recent video games which captured the characters FAR better.

at a loss about the complaints about the run time. the last two were around the 150 mark anyway so a third bumnumber should be no shock

(though how the hell bay cant get these films done in 120min is beyond me.

krudler

constitutionus wrote: »

at a loss about the complaints about the run time. the last two were around the 150 mark anyway so a third bumnumber should be no shock

(though how the hell bay cant get these films done in 120min is beyond me.

But if the last film was only 120 mins we would have missed all the comedy stylings of John Malkovich and Ken Jeong, they were vital to the plot. And the 2nd film would have lacked such standout setpieces as Sam's mother getting high, a robot farting, a robot humping Megan Fox's leg and Tranformer balls. Those things take pacing.

Mickeroo

krudler wrote: »

25% on rt.com, was anyone actually expecting this to be good? like really?http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_age_of_extinction/

Down to 17% now, officially the worst reviewed film in the series.

_Kaiser_

Burgo wrote: »

It really does appear to be a case of seen one seen em all.

I actually agree with a lot of what they were saying but I had to mute it about 2 mins from the end.

My ears are still bleeding! :mad:

krudler

Saw it earlier, now I'm going to spoiler a lot of this, really though there's not much of this that can be spoiled. If you've seen the others and expect nothing but exactly the same you'll still be disappointed, it's mostly awful, like Revenge of the Fallen awful.

It's basically the cinematic version of paying someone money to put you in a sack, stick you in a rollercoaster that's on fire and then put it at full speed while someone hits you with a brick in the face. for almost 3 hours.

It picks up 5 years after the last movie, Transformers are on the CIA's sh1tlist due to all the mayhem in Chicago and they've gone into hiding, there's a secret task force headed by Kelsey Grammer (one of the few good things in it) who are hunting them down with the help of a bounty hunter transformer who I've genuinely forgotten the name of. Why he's doing what he's doing isnt really explained much other than someone else is getting him to do it, and yes, it sets up yet another sequel.

The first 45 mins or so isn't actually that bad, it like a Michael Bay tick the box game though. Down to earth father who just wants to provide for his kid but is overprotective? check. Sunsets? check. Shady military/covert types? check.
The absence of Shia and his idiot parents makes the new characters a bit more tolerable, but then once the 2nd hour arrives it just turns into more of the metal punching other metal (not in a good way, its impossible to make out whats going on 90% of the time) , crap humour, inexplicable shifts in location during action scenes ( is this a racetrack? oh not its a highway, why is there a factory in the middle of the road, why are we in China now?!).

It's all more of the same, setpieces so over the top they actually get boring, I genuinely burst out laughing when a character arrives to fight Optimus and hops out of one of those spaceship shuttle thingies that were in the last movie too, and on the way to the ground he blows up a factory. For NO REASON other than it looks cool and explodey.
I will give Bay one thing there are some very very big and very good looking practical explosions in among all the cgi rubble and sparks and metal and all the other guff being flung in your face. It's a pity the whole less is more thing has never quite sunk in with Mikey though.

Now all the reasons why it's terrible. plot..lol plot.. spoilers ahoy.

Optimus is once again a psychopath, he actually wants to murder people this time not just other transformers, and does too.
The Dinobots are in it for literally 10 mins at the end, you almost forget about them up until they appear, and none of them speak. In fact the only reason they even help the autobots is because Optimus kicks the sh1t out of Grimlock and threatens to murder him if he doesn't. I'm not joking.
There's no Decepticons in it, Galvatron is there but he's made by humans who control him..yup, so that's another storyline they sh1t on.
You know how a big complaint in the last one was that there was no character arcs given to any of the robots? well now there's a bunch of man made Transformers that actually have no names or anything, it's like they went out of their way to make you give even less of a crap about who's punching who.
More racism.
More pervy shots of the teenage lead female, and she's only 17 in this so it's even more pervy.
"Movies these days are all remakes and sequels, buncha rubbish" fcuk you Michael Bay.
More convoluting a simple story, did we need a sequence where Stanley Tucci is being chased through a Chinese tower block and is saved by a guy in a lift who knows martial arts? cos y'know all Asians know martial arts dont they.
Did we need a whole setpiece involving aliens on a shop trying to tentacle bugger Mark Wahlbergs daughter? at least i think that's what it was trying to do..

We've only ourselves to blame, on the plus side I saw it for free, which is annoying me now cos I could have used my free pass to see HTTYD 2 or The Grand Budapest Hotel again. If you're on the fence about it, honestly don't bother, it's every bit as sh1te as you imagine it's going to be. and it's the bones of three hours long.

Remember that scene in Man of Steel where the machine was picking stuff up and slamming it into the ground again? well that's ripped off in this, except instead of just that happening there's dinobots running around a building, humans trying to avoid things like ships, buildings, cars, freight containers and rubble, Optimus kicking the bejesus out of anyone who looks at him sideways, Stanley Tucci screaming like a girl, the sound effect is even more deafening and it goes on just as long. It's actually exhausting even thinking about it.

Fuzzy_Dunlop

Seems to be as expected so. Was Jack Reynor in it much?

krudler

Fuzzy_Dunlop wrote: »

Seems to be as expected so. Was Jack Reynor in it much?

He's one of the main characters, he's with Walhberg the entire time

Sodeepithurts

krudler wrote: »

Saw it earlier, now I'm going to spoiler a lot of this, really though there's not much of this that can be spoiled. If you've seen the others and expect nothing but exactly the same you'll still be disappointed, it's mostly awful, like Revenge of the Fallen awful.

It's basically the cinematic version of paying someone money to put you in a sack, stick you in a rollercoaster that's on fire and then put it at full speed while someone hits you with a brick in the face. for almost 3 hours.

It picks up 5 years after the last movie, Transformers are on the CIA's sh1tlist due to all the mayhem in Chicago and they've gone into hiding, there's a secret task force headed by Kelsey Grammer (one of the few good things in it) who are hunting them down with the help of a bounty hunter transformer who I've genuinely forgotten the name of. Why he's doing what he's doing isnt really explained much other than someone else is getting him to do it, and yes, it sets up yet another sequel.

The first 45 mins or so isn't actually that bad, it like a Michael Bay tick the box game though. Down to earth father who just wants to provide for his kid but is overprotective? check. Sunsets? check. Shady military/covert types? check.
The absence of Shia and his idiot parents makes the new characters a bit more tolerable, but then once the 2nd hour arrives it just turns into more of the metal punching other metal (not in a good way, its impossible to make out whats going on 90% of the time) , crap humour, inexplicable shifts in location during action scenes ( is this a racetrack? oh not its a highway, why is there a factory in the middle of the road, why are we in China now?!).

It's all more of the same, setpieces so over the top they actually get boring, I genuinely burst out laughing when a character arrives to fight Optimus and hops out of one of those spaceship shuttle thingies that were in the last movie too, and on the way to the ground he blows up a factory. For NO REASON other than it looks cool and explodey.
I will give Bay one thing there are some very very big and very good looking practical explosions in among all the cgi rubble and sparks and metal and all the other guff being flung in your face. It's a pity the whole less is more thing has never quite sunk in with Mikey though.

Now all the reasons why it's terrible. plot..lol plot.. spoilers ahoy.

Optimus is once again a psychopath, he actually wants to murder people this time not just other transformers, and does too.
The Dinobots are in it for literally 10 mins at the end, you almost forget about them up until they appear, and none of them speak. In fact the only reason they even help the autobots is because Optimus kicks the sh1t out of Grimlock and threatens to murder him if he doesn't. I'm not joking.
There's no Decepticons in it, Galvatron is there but he's made by humans who control him..yup, so that's another storyline they sh1t on.
You know how a big complaint in the last one was that there was no character arcs given to any of the robots? well now there's a bunch of man made Transformers that actually have no names or anything, it's like they went out of their way to make you give even less of a crap about who's punching who.
More racism.
More pervy shots of the teenage lead female, and she's only 17 in this so it's even more pervy.
"Movies these days are all remakes and sequels, buncha rubbish" fcuk you Michael Bay.
More convoluting a simple story, did we need a sequence where Stanley Tucci is being chased through a Chinese tower block and is saved by a guy in a lift who knows martial arts? cos y'know all Asians know martial arts dont they.
Did we need a whole setpiece involving aliens on a shop trying to tentacle bugger Mark Wahlbergs daughter? at least i think that's what it was trying to do..

We've only ourselves to blame, on the plus side I saw it for free, which is annoying me now cos I could have used my free pass to see HTTYD 2 or The Grand Budapest Hotel again. If you're on the fence about it, honestly don't bother, it's every bit as sh1te as you imagine it's going to be. and it's the bones of three hours long.

Remember that scene in Man of Steel where the machine was picking stuff up and slamming it into the ground again? well that's ripped off in this, except instead of just that happening there's dinobots running around a building, humans trying to avoid things like ships, buildings, cars, freight containers and rubble, Optimus kicking the bejesus out of anyone who looks at him sideways, Stanley Tucci screaming like a girl, the sound effect is even more deafening and it goes on just as long. It's actually exhausting even thinking about it.

I was on the fence about seeing this, but after reading your review I won't be giving Michael Bay my hard earned cash

krudler

Sodeepithurts wrote: »

I was on the fence about seeing this, but after reading your review I won't be giving Michael Bay my hard earned cash

Don't, if you've seen the other three it's exactly the same but worse.

Basq

krudler wrote: »

Don't, if you've seen the other three it's exactly the same but worse.

Even Harry Knowles referred to it as (and I quote) "cinematic piss".. so we know it's bad!

Adamantium

Kaiser2000 wrote: »

I actually agree with a lot of what they were saying but I had to mute it about 2 mins from the end.

My ears are still bleeding! :mad:

Just playing the three Transformers movies together is the most damning criticism you could make.

Can't wait till 2020 or so when we'll have all 6 to watch :P

I could see a lot of modern trilogies being played this way and having them falling apart under apart, opening the eyes of even the most ardent 14 year old fanboy.

rockbeast

Basq wrote: »

Even Harry Knowles referred to it as (and I quote) "cinematic piss".. so we know it's bad!

Harry didn't get a junket trip?

I don't believe Harry could spell "cinematic" without the aid of a sub-editor:eek:

Will always love Kermode's review of III :D:D

Taylor365

New transformer movie budget : $210 million

1984 Transformer Budget: $6 million

A fool and his money....

Basq

Basq wrote: »

Even Harry Knowles referred to it as (and I quote) "cinematic piss".. so we know it's bad!

Don't worry, the studio will send him out a mug with the film title on it and Harry will go back and reevaluate the film and realise that it really is an exceptional piece of cinema that redefines just how we understand it as a medium.

rockbeast

krudler wrote: »

Saw it earlier, now I'm going to spoiler a lot of this, really though there's not much of this that can be spoiled. If you've seen the others and expect nothing but exactly the same you'll still be disappointed, it's mostly awful, like Revenge of the Fallen awful.

It's basically the cinematic version of paying someone money to put you in a sack, stick you in a rollercoaster that's on fire and then put it at full speed while someone hits you with a brick in the face. for almost 3 hours.

It picks up 5 years after the last movie, Transformers are on the CIA's sh1tlist due to all the mayhem in Chicago and they've gone into hiding, there's a secret task force headed by Kelsey Grammer (one of the few good things in it) who are hunting them down with the help of a bounty hunter transformer who I've genuinely forgotten the name of. Why he's doing what he's doing isnt really explained much other than someone else is getting him to do it, and yes, it sets up yet another sequel.

The first 45 mins or so isn't actually that bad, it like a Michael Bay tick the box game though. Down to earth father who just wants to provide for his kid but is overprotective? check. Sunsets? check. Shady military/covert types? check.
The absence of Shia and his idiot parents makes the new characters a bit more tolerable, but then once the 2nd hour arrives it just turns into more of the metal punching other metal (not in a good way, its impossible to make out whats going on 90% of the time) , crap humour, inexplicable shifts in location during action scenes ( is this a racetrack? oh not its a highway, why is there a factory in the middle of the road, why are we in China now?!).

It's all more of the same, setpieces so over the top they actually get boring, I genuinely burst out laughing when a character arrives to fight Optimus and hops out of one of those spaceship shuttle thingies that were in the last movie too, and on the way to the ground he blows up a factory. For NO REASON other than it looks cool and explodey.
I will give Bay one thing there are some very very big and very good looking practical explosions in among all the cgi rubble and sparks and metal and all the other guff being flung in your face. It's a pity the whole less is more thing has never quite sunk in with Mikey though.

Now all the reasons why it's terrible. plot..lol plot.. spoilers ahoy.

Optimus is once again a psychopath, he actually wants to murder people this time not just other transformers, and does too.
The Dinobots are in it for literally 10 mins at the end, you almost forget about them up until they appear, and none of them speak. In fact the only reason they even help the autobots is because Optimus kicks the sh1t out of Grimlock and threatens to murder him if he doesn't. I'm not joking.
There's no Decepticons in it, Galvatron is there but he's made by humans who control him..yup, so that's another storyline they sh1t on.
You know how a big complaint in the last one was that there was no character arcs given to any of the robots? well now there's a bunch of man made Transformers that actually have no names or anything, it's like they went out of their way to make you give even less of a crap about who's punching who.
More racism.
More pervy shots of the teenage lead female, and she's only 17 in this so it's even more pervy.
"Movies these days are all remakes and sequels, buncha rubbish" fcuk you Michael Bay.
More convoluting a simple story, did we need a sequence where Stanley Tucci is being chased through a Chinese tower block and is saved by a guy in a lift who knows martial arts? cos y'know all Asians know martial arts dont they.
Did we need a whole setpiece involving aliens on a shop trying to tentacle bugger Mark Wahlbergs daughter? at least i think that's what it was trying to do..

We've only ourselves to blame, on the plus side I saw it for free, which is annoying me now cos I could have used my free pass to see HTTYD 2 or The Grand Budapest Hotel again. If you're on the fence about it, honestly don't bother, it's every bit as sh1te as you imagine it's going to be. and it's the bones of three hours long.

Remember that scene in Man of Steel where the machine was picking stuff up and slamming it into the ground again? well that's ripped off in this, except instead of just that happening there's dinobots running around a building, humans trying to avoid things like ships, buildings, cars, freight containers and rubble, Optimus kicking the bejesus out of anyone who looks at him sideways, Stanley Tucci screaming like a girl, the sound effect is even more deafening and it goes on just as long. It's actually exhausting even thinking about it.

Dear, dear, god.:(:(:(

You've really done it this time, Mr Bay.

Say it ain't so, Joe

PS That is very well written. Hope it gets shared online.

ancapailldorcha

rockbeast wrote: »

Harry didn't get a junket trip?

I don't believe Harry could spell "cinematic" without the aid of a sub-editor:eek:

Will always love Kermode's review of III :D:D

I just watched it there now. It's truly excellent!

rockbeast

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

I just watched it there now. It's truly excellent!

"This is what happens when civilizations are about to collapse"! :D:D

pah

watched a fairly decent quality version online last night. when I say watched I mean the first 20 minutes then jumped through it a bit. then jumped along after the 90 minute mark watching about 90 seconds every 10 minutes. no matter where I stopped people were running and stuff was exploding. I don't think I missed much and glad I didn't pay anything to see it. first movie was ok, the rest are just muck.

krudler

rockbeast wrote: »

Dear, dear, god.:(:(:(

You've really done it this time, Mr Bay.

Say it ain't so, Joe

PS That is very well written. Hope it gets shared online.

I was just as curious to see if it'd at least be nice looking chaos, it doesnt even have one standout sequence where you think wow that was at least a single good moment, like the Autobots arriving to earth in the first one or the fight between Optimus and the three Decepticons in the second film. Not one. It's all just noise and more noise and explosions and more explosions and everything just melds together.

How on earth you can take a film that has robot dinosaurs in it and make it dull is beyond me.

constitutionus

well according to box office mojo its opened to over 300 million already

thats nearly a 100 million more than it cost to make.

so i reckon well be getting another one at least. seems ill be waiting a while yet for a bayless TF movie

link

http://boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=3865&p=.htm


http://boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=transformers4.htm

BrookieD

krudler wrote: »

Saw it earlier, now I'm going to spoiler a lot of this, really though there's not much of this that can be spoiled. If you've seen the others and expect nothing but exactly the same you'll still be disappointed, it's mostly awful, like Revenge of the Fallen awful.

It's basically the cinematic version of paying someone money to put you in a sack, stick you in a rollercoaster that's on fire and then put it at full speed while someone hits you with a brick in the face. for almost 3 hours.

It picks up 5 years after the last movie, Transformers are on the CIA's sh1tlist due to all the mayhem in Chicago and they've gone into hiding, there's a secret task force headed by Kelsey Grammer (one of the few good things in it) who are hunting them down with the help of a bounty hunter transformer who I've genuinely forgotten the name of. Why he's doing what he's doing isnt really explained much other than someone else is getting him to do it, and yes, it sets up yet another sequel.

The first 45 mins or so isn't actually that bad, it like a Michael Bay tick the box game though. Down to earth father who just wants to provide for his kid but is overprotective? check. Sunsets? check. Shady military/covert types? check.
The absence of Shia and his idiot parents makes the new characters a bit more tolerable, but then once the 2nd hour arrives it just turns into more of the metal punching other metal (not in a good way, its impossible to make out whats going on 90% of the time) , crap humour, inexplicable shifts in location during action scenes ( is this a racetrack? oh not its a highway, why is there a factory in the middle of the road, why are we in China now?!).

It's all more of the same, setpieces so over the top they actually get boring, I genuinely burst out laughing when a character arrives to fight Optimus and hops out of one of those spaceship shuttle thingies that were in the last movie too, and on the way to the ground he blows up a factory. For NO REASON other than it looks cool and explodey.
I will give Bay one thing there are some very very big and very good looking practical explosions in among all the cgi rubble and sparks and metal and all the other guff being flung in your face. It's a pity the whole less is more thing has never quite sunk in with Mikey though.

Now all the reasons why it's terrible. plot..lol plot.. spoilers ahoy.

Optimus is once again a psychopath, he actually wants to murder people this time not just other transformers, and does too.
The Dinobots are in it for literally 10 mins at the end, you almost forget about them up until they appear, and none of them speak. In fact the only reason they even help the autobots is because Optimus kicks the sh1t out of Grimlock and threatens to murder him if he doesn't. I'm not joking.
There's no Decepticons in it, Galvatron is there but he's made by humans who control him..yup, so that's another storyline they sh1t on.
You know how a big complaint in the last one was that there was no character arcs given to any of the robots? well now there's a bunch of man made Transformers that actually have no names or anything, it's like they went out of their way to make you give even less of a crap about who's punching who.
More racism.
More pervy shots of the teenage lead female, and she's only 17 in this so it's even more pervy.
"Movies these days are all remakes and sequels, buncha rubbish" fcuk you Michael Bay.
More convoluting a simple story, did we need a sequence where Stanley Tucci is being chased through a Chinese tower block and is saved by a guy in a lift who knows martial arts? cos y'know all Asians know martial arts dont they.
Did we need a whole setpiece involving aliens on a shop trying to tentacle bugger Mark Wahlbergs daughter? at least i think that's what it was trying to do..

We've only ourselves to blame, on the plus side I saw it for free, which is annoying me now cos I could have used my free pass to see HTTYD 2 or The Grand Budapest Hotel again. If you're on the fence about it, honestly don't bother, it's every bit as sh1te as you imagine it's going to be. and it's the bones of three hours long.

Remember that scene in Man of Steel where the machine was picking stuff up and slamming it into the ground again? well that's ripped off in this, except instead of just that happening there's dinobots running around a building, humans trying to avoid things like ships, buildings, cars, freight containers and rubble, Optimus kicking the bejesus out of anyone who looks at him sideways, Stanley Tucci screaming like a girl, the sound effect is even more deafening and it goes on just as long. It's actually exhausting even thinking about it.

Brilliant review, reall funny, just sent you a PM... let me know. ;-)

IvaBigWun

krudler wrote: »

It's basically the cinematic version of paying someone money to put you in a sack, stick you in a rollercoaster that's on fire and then put it at full speed while someone hits you with a brick in the face. for almost 3 hours.

Superb

krudler

Actually I take back what I said about there not being a standout sequence, there's one, where there's an aerial dogfight over Chicago, it's actually pretty cool looking but short and uses the 3D tech well.

Bay uses the IMAX framing quite a lot too throughout, but really jarringly so, unlike say Nolan using it for full sequences the occasional jump back to 2.35:1 in TF4 it's constantly jumping around in the same scene, going from black bars to full screen and back between shots.
I'll put it to you this way, there's an IMAX shot of the lead female character from behind in Daisy Duke style jean shorts, in the middle of a scene where nothing else is happening bar talking (for a change) Bay's priorities on full display.

constitutionus

Oh here was up in the square today and theyre advertiseing its out on July 5th so looks like its got bumped up

Adamantium

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwkL53bH0PI

For the ultimate lazy amongst us.... :P

5:18 seems to be the only reason why the teenagers used to go to this (and me as I was dragged along by them in 2007,2009, and 2011), ask them about story or anything else and they used to get iuncomfortable

I can see how people like these movies, they're like the Call of Duty of the medium (though COD has more to say)