social skills

lufties

Irish people are renowned for being friendly and sociable generally. My mate is really lacking in that area, he is in his late 30s, is successful career wise, intelligent, seems to be a woman repellant. I'm not really surprised being honest as he never makes eye contact while talking, yawns constantly and when we walk to the pub I've noticed he spits on the ground a lot. Any time we are out I'm the one who goes to chat to ladies and my mate will hide in the shadows until the ice is broke. Whats worse is that he's far from an oil painting but he's quick to sneer about women who are not above average.

I wondered if there is any kind of social skills boot camp out there, as his demeanor and thecway he interacts is starting to annoy me now, making me not want to spend my time around him.

gctest50

lufties wrote: »

............but he's quick to sneer about women who are not above average.

I wondered if there is any kind of social skills boot camp out there, as his demeanor........

yip - a cavity block and the Liffey ( or nearest similarly decent river)

Czarcasm

This is just a friendly suggestion OP, but perhaps it would be better to post this in Personal Issues, seeing as you have a personal issue with your friend?

fizzypish

Czarcasm wrote: »

This is just a friendly suggestion OP, but perhaps it would be better to post this in Personal Issues, seeing as you have a personal issue with your friend?

Naaaw. There will be loads of friendly informative advice here.

Gone Drinking

No, I'm pretty sure there aren't any social boot camps. I'm also pretty sure that if you suggested that to your mate, he'd tell you to fcuk off.

Just head out with this guy when you're looking for his company. If you're looking to go socialise/chat up women, don't invite him!

bearhugs

Spits on the ground!! Ah here.

Roger Hassenforder

Worst wingman ever.
Get a new one.

kneemos

This is what happens when a Billy Barry kid goes bad.

lufties

Gone Drinking wrote: »

No, I'm pretty sure there aren't any social boot camps. I'm also pretty sure that if you suggested that to your mate, he'd tell you to fcuk off.

Just head out with this guy when you're looking for his company. If you're looking to go socialise/chat up women, don't invite him!

In fairness, he is oblivious to it altogether. I'd like to help him out . Running out of patience with him.

Akrasia

Does he have any redeeming qualities?

Does he actually enjoy himself when he goes out. Maybe he's only going out to the pub because other people drag him with them, and he'd actually be happier at home playing Kerbal Space Program

Sky King

lufties wrote: »

I wondered if there is any kind of social skills boot camp out there,

A boot up the hole tbh.

jamesbere

Spitting on ground, I'm surprised women aren't flocking to him.

lufties

Akrasia wrote: »

Does he have any redeeming qualities?

Does he actually enjoy himself when he goes out. Maybe he's only going out to the pub because other people drag him with them, and he'd actually be happier at home playing Kerbal Space

I'm not sure, you'd imagine he does, seen as he continues to go out. Last week he came out with saying that he's doesn't find women in london that great, and that mainland european women are much better.

:eek:

Wibbs

Some people just aren't meant to reproduce and nature finds the balance and ensures they don't. If he was in his twenties I'd have some hope, but in his late thirties? If he hasn't copped to that kinda thing by now... I suppose anything's possible.

As for his take on women. Yep I've seen that more than once. Ugly feckers with few redeeming qualities and even less hope in the dating arena complaining about the "quality" of the women around them. And this usually gets worse with age. Lower your "standards" Ted, cos she's gonna have to.

Shenshen

You should pitch that as a new concept for a TV show - TV3 maybe.

If they can make women look "10 years younger", sure they can teach your mate some manners. Should be fun to watch, too.

Aglomerado

jamesbere wrote: »

Spitting on ground, I'm surprised women aren't flocking to him.

Gross. :eek:

lufties

Wibbs wrote: »

Some people just aren't meant to reproduce and nature finds the balance and ensures they don't. If he was in his twenties I'd have some hope, but in his late thirties? If he hasn't copped to that kinda thing by now... I suppose anything's possible.

As for his take on women. Yep I've seen that more than once. Ugly feckers with few redeeming qualities and even less hope in the dating arena complaining about the "quality" of the women around them. And this usually gets worse with age. Lower your "standards" Ted, cos she's gonna have to.

You wouldn't believe this lad. We went to a singles party recently together as I'm recently split from a girl and hadn't the energy or self esteem to meet someone in an environment other than a manufactured one. Anyway, I came out with a few phone numbers. This lad came out with none. In fairness, there was an ocean of women at this party, many of which were hot. If I wasn't there I don't know how he'd have fared out.

I think your right about nature having its way. Personally, I've messed up in the past many tines and ways, but I'm always trying to improve myself. My mate, seems to be getting worse.

lufties

Aglomerado wrote: »

Gross. :eek:

Yea, and its not just once off..it seems like a bit of a habit.

Satriale

Aglomerado wrote: »

Gross. :eek:

But is it as gross as kissing him with a green yoke still in his mouth?

Balmed Out

Sounds like he has serious self esteem issues.

Aglomerado

Satriale wrote: »

But is it as gross as kissing him with a green yoke still in his mouth?

Who'd be mad enough to want to kiss him?

Badly Drunk Boy

lufties wrote: »

I wondered if there is any kind of social skills boot camp out there, as his demeanor and thecway he interacts is starting to annoy me now, making me not want to spend my time around him.

Last night on the telly, I saw an ad for a place called Life Skills (I think). I think it was on a UK station but it might be the sort of thing he needs. The ad was basically a teenager or early 20s lad talking to the camera, saying "My name is Charlie. My name begins with 'M'." Basically, it was about having confidence, when at an interview or in a social situation, not starting every sentence with "Em...".

I'm sure there's more to it than that, but it could be the sort of thing your friend needs. Also, it's possible that it's mainly focussed on younger people but there's no harm looking it up.

(I probably got the name wrong but it's along those lines.)

Green Mile

It sounds like me the way you describe him (less the spitting and the age) but I can see it from his point of view.
I would recommend saying it to him rather than putting it on boards. A true friend stabs in the front.
He might like going to the pub but he clearly doesn’t like the type of interaction. It’s probably because he has alcohol in the system and feels a little inefficient, he would be better dating on a different platform like Tinder or POF. You could be a mate and try get to his level of understanding and then suggest helpful methods, you and he would benefit if it currently annoys you.

lufties

Green Mile wrote: »

It sounds like me the way you describe him (less the spitting and the age) but I can see it from his point of view.
I would recommend saying it to him rather than putting it on boards. A true friend stabs in the front.
He might like going to the pub but he clearly doesn’t like the type of interaction. It’s probably because he has alcohol in the system and feels a little inefficient, he would be better dating on a different platform like Tinder or POF. You could be a mate and try get to his level of understanding and then suggest helpful methods, you and he would benefit if it currently annoys you.

Boards is anonymous, and in fairness I just wanted to get some opinions, but point taken. He is too proud to use Tinder or POF, I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings by saying cop the feck on. I did say subtley things like, well if I wasn't doing well with women, I'd question why that was without blaming external factors. In other words, brush up on your communication skills, speak with confidence, make eye contact, don't yawn in people's faces. Try an improve your physical shape in the gym, basically become more attractive rather than using buffers and self delusion.