Saturday Night Show 4/10/14 at 9.40pm

rarity

I feel so desperately sorry for that couple that made the choice to abort their son. It looks like they are living with the nightmare of making a poor judgement. The father looked like he was about to have a break down. How they are living with the stress of that choice is beyond me.

To have their child delivered by courier is no doubt giving them nightmares. They could possibly benefit from bereavement counselling.

The message I got from the interview is that they are not entirely reconciled with their decision and perhaps counselling/guidance should be given to mothers/couples in potential similar situations as to the consequences of such a choice/decision.

from personal experience I know a number of woman that have regretted ever proceeding down the road os abortion. The regret has stayed with them for many many years later. So sad :-(

Sclosages

Rarity - I don't know how you've come to that conclusion.
They were told their baby had no mouth, no hands, no feet, would have lungs outgrowing its rib-cage and ZERO chance of survival.
They were 100% correct in their decision.
The reason they went on there was clear to me. To try to ensure that no other couple has to endure such a tortuous trip out of the country.
God, are people insane?

paddy ocon

rarity wrote: »

I feel so desperately sorry for that couple that made the choice to abort their son. It looks like they are living with the nightmare of making a poor judgement. The father looked like he was about to have a break down. How they are living with the stress of that choice is beyond me.

To have their child delivered by courier is no doubt giving them nightmares. They could possibly benefit from bereavement counselling.

The message I got from the interview is that they are not entirely reconciled with their decision and perhaps counselling/guidance should be given to mothers/couples in potential similar situations as to the consequences of such a choice/decision.

from personal experience I know a number of woman that have regretted ever proceeding down the road os abortion. The regret has stayed with them for many many years later. So sad :-(

Wow talk about not seeing Rebecca and Keith for what their feelings were. I have never seen an interviewed totally TWISTED by anyone like you in my whole life.

They do not regret their decision they are angry and hurt that they had to leave their own country.

Good work just joining up now to say what you obviously can't say under your real username

michael999999

paddy ocon wrote: »

Did you have proper testing done??? Did you get 2nd and 3rd opinions ? I hope you made your complaints about such medical misconduct.

I am glad your son is here and healthy.

Ya had the whole spectrum done.

Amniosynthesis being the most horrible of them all.

This professor is now one of the head fellows in the HSE. In the 8 years since its happened he has never even rang to arrange to see us.

You would imagine he would want to try and find out how my boy survived. We had to arrange a meeting with him. Just to tell him out story so maybe another couple wouldn't have to be put through the 5 months of misery we were put through.

Luckily were now dealing with the wonderful Crumlin.

CountyHurler

yosser hughes wrote: »

I couldn't believe his comment to them at the end delivered 'in the interests of balance' I thought it was a really really poor interview..

The car park in ten minutes Yosser.. I'm bringing my nunchucks...

monkey9

Sclosages wrote: »

Monkey. There was not even a 1% chance of the baby surviving.

That's what the doctors were saying though. Obviously, they're the experts and i am in no way condemning the couple. But doctors are wrong at times. It's just my thoughts watching the interview. People are told they won't survive this or that but go on to prove medical science wrong.

As i said, it's just my thoughts watching this. The mother said she is very anti-abortion, that's what struck me. If you're so anti abortion, would you not give the child every single chance,no matter how unlikely, to survive?

Ol' Donie

Flicked over to Norton in time for the ads.

Anyone else think slow cooked pulled chicken looks and sounds manky?

paddy ocon

michael999999 wrote: »

Ya had the whole spectrum done.

Amniosynthesis being the most horrible of them all.

This professor is now one of the head fellows in the HSE. In the 8 years since its happened he has never even rang to arrange to see us.

You would imagine he would want to try and find out how my boy survived. We had to arrange a meeting with him. Just to tell him out story so maybe another couple wouldn't have to be put through the 5 months of misery we were put through.

Luckily were now dealing with the wonderful Crumlin.

You certainly would imagine he would want to follow up.
Crumlin are amazing.
Some conditions are a 100% fatal like ancephaly and others have different spectrums.

Lisha

monkey9 wrote: »

That's what the doctors were saying though. Obviously, they're the experts and i am in no way condemning the couple. But doctors are wrong at times. It's just my thoughts watching the interview. People are told they won't survive this or that but go on to prove medical science wrong.

As i said, it's just my thoughts watching this. The mother said she is very anti-abortion, that's what struck me. If you're so anti abortion, would you not give the child every single chance,no matter how unlikely, to survive?

I agree with you so much but consider this; sometimes when the prognosis is so bleak they are told without doubt that the child will have a painful tortured short life experience. Ending the pregnancy can seem much kinder and preferable and simply more merciful than a life of pain and suggesting that will never result in a long life span.

rarity

Sclosages wrote: »

Rarity - I don't know how you've come to that conclusion.
They were told their baby had no mouth, no hands, no feet, would have lungs outgrowing its rib-cage and ZERO chance of survival.
They were 100% correct in their decision.
The reason they went on there was clear to me. To try to ensure that no other couple has to endure such a tortuous trip out of the country.
God, are people insane?

Of course to be told such a thing about their baby is shocking. I don't in any way think they took the decision lighty. I do think however, that regardless of the baby having zero chance of survival, if that baby that been delivered naturally, the parents could have reconciled themselves with those deformities in a completely different manner. There are many babies born that takes one or two breaths and die immediately after. Parents of those babies can live with themselves knowing they did all they could. The fact they bring the corpse to bed with them every night shouts out to me of guilt. Do you really in all honesty think there were no other choices. The whole delivery by courier thing aswell, really no other choices???

monkey9

Reading back now on a few comments. I've no experience in this situation so i have no idea what's it's like until faced with it, i'm sure i'm talking nonsense therefore.

It's a horrible situation to face and as i said before, i'm not having a go at the couple at all for what they decided. I'm pro choice so they should have been able to gothrough what they had to go through without having to travel abroad on a Ryanair flight.

yosser hughes

rarity wrote: »

Of course to be told such a thing about their baby is shocking. I don't in any way think they took the decision lighty. I do think however, that regardless of the baby having zero chance of survival, if that baby that been delivered naturally, the parents could have reconciled themselves with those deformities in a completely different manner. There are many babies born that takes one or two breaths and die immediately after. Parents of those babies can live with themselves knowing they did all they could. The fact they bring the corpse to bed with them every night shouts out to me of guilt. Do you really in all honesty think there were no other choices. The whole delivery by courier thing aswell, really no other choices???

That's the point! They are denied choice! They should have been able to terminate the pregnancy in Ireland.

delaad

Sclosages wrote: »

Monkey. There was not even a 1% chance of the baby surviving.

Hey Monkey, the ENGLISH doctors said there was even less chance that the feotus would survive than the IRISH doctors said.

paddy ocon

rarity wrote: »

Of course to be told such a thing about their baby is shocking. I don't in any way think they took the decision lighty. I do think however, that regardless of the baby having zero chance of survival, if that baby that been delivered naturally, the parents could have reconciled themselves with those deformities in a completely different manner. There are many babies born that takes one or two breaths and die immediately after. Parents of those babies can live with themselves knowing they did all they could. The fact they bring the corpse to bed with them every night shouts out to me of guilt. Do you really in all honesty think there were no other choices. The whole delivery by courier thing aswell, really no other choices???

They have their babies ashes in the room with Them not a corpse
For them there was no other choice. Let me tell you one certain thing they are far from feeling guilty they know they did the right thing for their baby.

efb

rarity wrote: »

Parents of those babies can live with themselves knowing they did all they could.

Christ that is such a judgemental line- no wonder people go through so much trauma when they have to put up with shít like that being spouted

Lisha

monkey9 wrote: »

Reading back now on a few comments. I've no experience in this situation so i have no idea what's it's like until faced with it, i'm sure i'm talking nonsense therefore.

It's a horrible situation to face and as i said before, i'm not having a go at the couple at all for what they decided. I'm pro choice so they should have been able to gothrough what they had to go through without having to travel abroad on a Ryanair flight.

I've no fully correct answers. All I can say is that everyone is different and each will have their own ways of coping with such a tough situation. I don't feel I can preach or dictate to the actions of others. I would be conservative in my own actions but I do believe that each person has the right to their own beliefs. Life is hard at times

sligojoek

I just watched Cait on the plus1. Very disappointing. I've seen middling pub bands do a better job on that song. I saw her in the point around 2004 with The Pogues and she did a cracking job on A Man You Don't Meet Everyday.

rarity

paddy ocon wrote: »

Wow talk about not seeing Rebecca and Keith for what their feelings were. I have never seen an interviewed totally TWISTED by anyone like you in my whole life.

They do not regret their decision they are angry and hurt that they had to leave their own country.

Good work just joining up now to say what you obviously can't say under your real username

I am not twisting anything. Been a recent browser of boards and decided to join. What exactly are you trying to imply???

Hurt and upset at having to leave their own country, fair enough if that's what you got from the interview. Each to their own. That is certainly not what i got from it. The hurt and pain in their eyes has a lot more to do with their family circumstances rather than having to board a plane imo.

efb

rarity wrote: »

I am not twisting anything. Been a recent browser of boards and decided to join. What exactly are you trying to imply???

Hurt and upset at having to leave their own country, fair enough if that's what you got from the interview. Each to their own. That is certainly not what i got from it. The hurt and pain in their eyes has a lot more to do with their family circumstances rather than having to board a plane imo.

The eye sees what it wants to see.

paddy ocon

efb wrote: »

Christ that is such a judgemental line- no wonder people go through so much trauma when they have to put up with shít like that being spouted

What always amazes me is how some random person can tell you what is right for your baby. The baby that you wanted and loved so much.
How can some stranger think they know what is better for you and your baby then you yourself.

I think I need to leave here can't take much more of people like rairty

cofy

Lisha wrote: »

I agree with you so much but consider this; sometimes when the prognosis is so bleak they are told without doubt that the child will have a painful tortured short life experience. Ending the pregnancy can seem much kinder and preferable and simply more merciful than a life of pain and suggesting that will never result in a long life span.

+1 Lisha add to that all the congratulations being offered to the couple on the impending birth by well meaning people asking when the baby is due etc. Life can be very cruel.

yosser hughes

rarity wrote: »

I am not twisting anything. Been a recent browser of boards and decided to join. What exactly are you trying to imply???

Hurt and upset at having to leave their own country, fair enough if that's what you got from the interview. Each to their own. That is certainly not what i got from it. The hurt and pain in their eyes has a lot more to do with their family circumstances rather than having to board a plane imo.

stop being disingenuous

paddy ocon

rarity wrote: »

I am not twisting anything. Been a recent browser of boards and decided to join. What exactly are you trying to imply???

Hurt and upset at having to leave their own country, fair enough if that's what you got from the interview. Each to their own. That is certainly not what i got from it. The hurt and pain in their eyes has a lot more to do with their family circumstances rather than having to board a plane imo.

Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow it's all about boarding a plane.

You haven't got the first idea of it. I am also implying that you are coward hiding like the keyboard warrior you are.

Ulnar

As someone who knows their story personally. Can I just stress a few points,
As you could see they are heartbroken, their decision was certainly not taken lightly. Her baby was given 0% of surival. She made a decision that god knows no-one would wish to make. When Rebecca stated she was anti abortion like most women she never felt that something like this would fall at her doorstep.

Her reason for sharing her story is to let others know what happens in these situations should you choose the route she took, she's not looking to glorify her choice.

In my OWN personal opinion I'm horrified that each and every day families are left with this choice. I feel that this area certainly needs to be looked at and compassion shown.

madmaggie

Ol' Donie wrote: »

Davy: "You can't promise anything, but it won't be for lack of trying. I can promise you that."

Kept waiting to see Davy suddenly go mental and start roaring at Brendan, would have been some craic.

Lisha

cofy wrote: »

+1 Lisha add to that all the congratulations being offered to the couple on the impending birth by well meaning people asking when the baby is due etc. Life can be very cruel.

In my pregnancies I remember being stunned at the amount of people who asked 'was it a boy or a girl'?
Everyone assumes it will end in a healthy pregnancy. Quite often it does not for people.
I cannot imagine knowing I was carrying what would be an non viable pregnancy being congratsted and asked questions by strangers at supermarket checkouts knowing all I was facing was a funeral. And then to be criminalised by traveling and going to a foreign state to obtain a service. It's just too cruel.
I've been blessed by two healthy children. I also know of the grief of losing a child and what that can do to a couple. ( thankfully not our loss but a close loss all the same)
Life is cruel , people need kindness and support not judgement.

michael999999

paddy ocon wrote: »

You certainly would imagine he would want to follow up.
Crumlin are amazing.
Some conditions are a 100% fatal like ancephaly and others have different spectrums.

He told us 100% that our boy wouldn't survive.

We went to Crumlin at three days old and they told us that they have treated a few other kids with the same syndrome.

There was even another boy running up and down the corridor. You would never know there was anything wrong with him to see him.

Its hard to know what to say about that poor couple tonight. What they suffered before the abortion is hell. Never mind the torture there suffering since.

rarity

efb wrote: »

Christ that is such a judgemental line- no wonder people go through so much trauma when they have to put up with shít like that being spouted

Ah stop spouting out "judgemental" please. I am not judging anyone (never have, never will) but back on ya for judging me and not getting the point of my post. Well done!!! What an inspiring contribution!!

RayM

I found it very depressing that Brendan had to end such a sad interview with the "in the interests of balance, we have to keep the Iona arseholes happy" nonsense.

rarity

paddy ocon wrote: »

What always amazes me is how some random person can tell you what is right for your baby. The baby that you wanted and loved so much.
How can some stranger think they know what is better for you and your baby then you yourself.

I think I need to leave here can't take much more of people like rairty

I am not telling anyone anything, is this not meant to be an objective discussion board or do you always pull a strop if people don't "agree" with you?

Vety childish but whatever....good luck to you!!

paddy ocon

rarity wrote: »

Mod: Deleted

You saw and listened to them with your own preconceived ideas of what YOU believe is right or wrong.

I have also gone through what Rebecca went through and I am totally at peace and I know I did the right thing by my daughter. I did not want her to suffer. I did not want my 2 other children to suffer a possible further 28 weeks of pregnancy with them knowing their little sister was never going to live.
I found out at 12 weeks pregnant that my daughter had a fatal condition and that I would more then likely not reach 20 weeks.

I have since gone on to have another daughter who I was told could potentionally have a problem but not fatal. She was born with a cleft palate along with other medical conditions.

I know Rebecca and Keith personally and trust me when I tell you they are angry and upset of being kicked out of their country.

Loosing a baby is the worst thing you will ever go through, but it happens and happens all the time we can't change that. What we can change is how we treat these women that have to go through this. We should be treated and cared for in our own country with our family and friends and not forced to another country.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion as you are, but you are not entitled to claim how this couple feel that is not your right.

paddy ocon

rarity wrote: »

I am not telling anyone anything, is this not meant to be an objective discussion board or do you always pull a strop if people don't "agree" with you?

Vety childish but whatever....good luck to you!![/

as I said everyone is entitled to their opinion. You are claiming to know what is going on inside this couples hearts and minds and that is not ok............

rarity

paddy ocon wrote: »

Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow it's all about boarding a plane.

You haven't got the first idea of it. I am also implying that you are coward hiding like the keyboard warrior you are.

So I am a coward for having a different point of view. Fair enough, I disagree. This is a online discussion forum so it's not like we can meet up for coffee to discuss. Try not to upset yourself over the fact that not everyone will see things the way you do and that everyone has different opinions, to which they are entitled!!

paddy ocon

rarity wrote: »

So I am a coward for having a different point of view. Fair enough, I disagree. This is a online discussion forum so it's not like we can meet up for coffee to discuss. Try not to upset yourself over the fact that not everyone will see things the way you do and that everyone has different opinions, to which they are entitled!!

No you are not a coward for having a different opinion to me. You are a coward for setting up a new name so you could go off on one and tell everyone how guilty this couple feels............

rarity

as I said everyone is entitled to their opinion. You are claiming to know what is going on inside this couples hearts and minds and that is not ok............[/quote]

Paddy please I don't claim to.know anything about this couple only to state that in my humble opinion the pain that I saw was not the pain of having to board a plane, to me what I heard was the pain of taking a decision to abort a child with serious deformities that they were told would not survive. To me, this couples sanity, love, happiness, everything, was held hostage by medical "experts" both before and after the abortion. Sometimes maybe natures way is best. That is all.

rarity

paddy ocon wrote: »

No you are not a coward for having a different opinion to me. You are a coward for setting up a new name so you could go off on one and tell everyone how guilty this couple feels............

OMG so suspicious!!! First time user and intend to post on other threads also. Do I need your permission????

paddy ocon

And sometimes natures way is pure heartache and pain that someone can't go through. It's up to the parents to decide and they will be the ones living with that choice until they die. That is all from me

Good night.

dublinman1990

I also have zero experience in this situation as well so I will attempt to be realistic with my response.

Having a child who was aborted before being delivered by courier is a very grim story. Anyone who is about to have kids right now do have an expectation their child to be healthy all of the time when they are born. But whatever the circumstances that this couple had gone through, unfortunately it didn't happen right for them.

Whatever way they dealt with the issue, going public on a tv show was not the right one to go through. The interview was poor because they should not give Brendan any opportunity be in a capacity to act as counsellor for them. The couple interviewed by Brendan should have gotten professional help with a qualified counsellor instead to get help with this issue because this is one that does not go away overnight as it sounds like a long lasting and painful process to endure for both of them.

I do give them sympathy for the loss of their child as I am lost for words in how he died. Good night.

Sclosages

Rarity, you are disgusting.
You're trying to tell that couple that they should feel guilty.
THEY DON'T, NOR SHOULD THEY.
They have nothing to feel guilty about!!!
You telling them that they feel guilty is doing nothing than showing you up for the lunatic that you are.

rarity

Sclosages wrote: »

Rarity, you are disgusting.
You're trying to tell that couple that they should feel guilty.
THEY DON'T, NOR SHOULD THEY.
They have nothing to feel guilty about!!!
You telling them that they feel guilty is doing nothing than showing you up for the lunatic that you are.

Calm down will ya, I am telling nobody nothing but you are using caps lock and telling me I am disgusting/a lunatic!! What does that say about you??? I would never tell people how to.live their lives or get personal. Keep the abuse to ypurself and offline!!!

rarity

Sclosages wrote: »

Rarity, you are disgusting.
You're trying to tell that couple that they should feel guilty.
THEY DON'T, NOR SHOULD THEY.
They have nothing to feel guilty about!!!
You telling them that they feel guilty is doing nothing than showing you up for the lunatic that you are.

Calm down will ya, I am telling nobody nothing but you are using caps lock and telling me I am disgusting/a lunatic!! What does that say about you??? I would never tell people how to.live their lives or get personal. Keep the abuse to ypurself and offline!!!

cofy

Sweet mother of god are there no moderators available. Time to stop this bs passed a long time ago.

Ol' Donie

cofy wrote: »

Sweet mother of god are there no moderators available. Time to stop this bs passed a long time ago.

Reckon last night's no reported posts will seem a looong time ago when the mods do get back.

grey_so_what

Well, I just got in from a lovely evening.......

What happened to the lovely thread that started out??....

.....

cofy

grey_so_what wrote: »

Well, I just got in from a lovely evening.......

What happened to the lovely thread that started out??....

.....

That was one surprising match!!!

grey_so_what

cofy wrote: »

That was one surprising match!!!

:D:D

Keep telling myself.......

"I mustn't gloat....mustn't gloat........."

:D:D




But you all know me so well.....

cofy

grey_so_what wrote: »

Well, I just got in from a lovely evening.......

What happened to the lovely thread that started out??....

.....

It got trolled.

purplecow1977

The fact they take their baby to bed with them every night,doesn't sit well with me.

Someone mentioned ashes rather than a corpse-how do they know this?

A burial might help them to slowly move on and find peace. Each to their own I suppose but this would just elongate their and trauma for me.

Heart breaking story and hopefully abortion can be legalized under certain circumstances in Ireland. I know of other procedures where patients have to go to the UK for as its not provided for here. Time and money need to be invested in our health system.

Felt huge sympathy for those two parents last night and I think they spoke very well. The Dad looked like he was going to break down. Such a horrible experience to have to endure. I couldn't believe the baby was delivered by courier,surely there are other more humane ways?

Ulnar

purplecow1977 wrote: »

The fact they take their baby to bed with them every night,doesn't sit well with me.

Someone mentioned ashes rather than a corpse-how do they know this?

A burial might help them to slowly move on and find peace. Each to their own I suppose but this would just elongate their and trauma for me.

Heart breaking story and hopefully abortion can be legalized under certain circumstances in Ireland. I know of other procedures where patients have to go to the UK for as its not provided for here. Time and money need to be invested in our health system.

Felt huge sympathy for those two parents last night and I think they spoke very well. The Dad looked like he was going to break down. Such a horrible experience to have to endure. I couldn't believe the baby was delivered by courier,surely there are other more humane ways?

They take his ashes which are in a little box to bed with them each night. This is how they are dealing with their experience. This happened in late January this year so as you can imagine its still raw. They may choose a burial in the future but for now they keep him close

Mr E

I don't know what the interview was about, but you're jumping up and down because rarity has his/her own opinion which goes against most of yours' (rightly or wrongly). Not a banning offense IMHO.

Let's keep it civil, folks.