Ever been to a disastrous wedding?

fussyonion

I was at a wedding where the bride got locked and tried to strip off just as her father-in-law was making a speech.

Then her chief bridesmaid went into labour and almost gave birth on the grounds of the venue.

At the same wedding, a man got his mickey stuck in his zipper.

Ever been to a comical/disastrous wedding?

whiskeyman

Twink is married?

Lisha

I'd never like to poke fun at the misfortune of others .

The Backwards Man

I was at a wedding where the best man got full before the meal and made a total balls of the speech (just said 'you're both sound' and sat down again). He then stood on the bridesmaid's toe and bruised it and was in bed snoring by 8pm.

Worst of all, that best man was me.

Vic_08

Sorry but no wedding disaster story is ever going to beat the thread here a few months ago about the guy who sh!t bombed the wedding hotel.

The J Stands for Jay

fussyonion wrote: »

I was at a wedding where the bride got locked and tried to strip off just as her father-in-law was making a speech.

Got any links to the wedding album?

tomwaterford

had a friend who worked in the bar in a very posh hotel (how he ended up there il never fully know)
anywhoo....during the night the groom went away to bed around 12ish and the bride went back to a different room at the end of the night with some other chap:eek::eek:


he said there was no fight etc the following morning...the groom...just checked out with his parents early...would love to know what happened in the end

anncoates

The Backwards Man wrote: »

and made a total balls of the speech (just said 'you're both sound' and sat down again).

I was at a wedding where the nervous groom made a similarly disastrous, truncated speech, completely forgetting to mention his new wife and his own parents.

I enjoyed my wedding day nonetheless.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I hope my wedding is classy! It's the one event I'll stay sober at, because I don't trust myself

The Backwards Man

anncoates wrote: »

I was at a wedding where the nervous groom made a similarly disastrous, truncated speech, completely forgetting to mention his new wife and his own parents.

I enjoyed my wedding day nonetheless.

Best thing about it is I'll never be asked again, my brother got married a couple of years later . . in secret.

Augmerson

Don't go to any wedding involving Walder Frey.

anncoates

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Best thing about it is I'll never be asked again, my brother got married a couple of years later . . in secret.

Thing is i never stfu in real life so i was the most unexpected person in the world to have such a brain fart. Everybody thought it was some kind of elaborate joke.

Lisha

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I hope my wedding is classy! It's the one event I'll stay sober at, because I don't trust myself

I did not drink a drop at my wedding and don't regret it. I just can't drink.
A friend of one drank brandy before church and was hungover during meal. She did not enjoy any of her wedding day .

Tin Foil Hat

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I hope my wedding is classy! It's the one event I'll stay sober at, because I don't trust myself

I stayed sober at my wedding. Or so I thought. I looked over the photos the following day and my eyes were at a 45 degree angle on my face. Someone said to us the following morning that it was the only wedding they were ever at where the Bride and Groom changed into shorts and t-shirts half way through the evening. Best wedding I was ever at. Great craic.

Tarzana

anncoates wrote: »

I was at a wedding where the nervous groom made a similarly disastrous, truncated speech, completely forgetting to mention his new wife and his own parents.

I enjoyed my wedding day nonetheless.

anncoates wrote: »

Thing is i never stfu in real life so i was the most unexpected person in the world to have such a brain fart. Everybody thought it was some kind of elaborate joke.

Wait, this actually happened? :eek: Thought the first post was a joke.

Mariasofia

The last wedding I was at the brides father was locked and welcomed her "exs name" into the family!! ......
Cue embarrassed stifled giggles then awkward silence.....

Daveysil15

I was at a wedding where a young fella had too much to drink and puked all over the table during the meal. Then a man got up and starting singing about a woman who dildoed and diedeld along.

Tarzana

Was at a wedding last year where the father of the bride mentioned in his speech that the bride had been in another relationship when she met the groom. He carried on with the speech. A few minutes later, he said "Errrr sorry, <bride> would just like to point out that she was single when she met <groom>"

Awk-WARD!

anncoates

Tarzana wrote: »

Wait, this actually happened? :eek:.

It really did happen to me.

I'm over it now. Sort of.

Aidric

Can't really understand why anyone would get locked before having to make a speech.

The Peanut

Some years ago I was at a casual wedding at a pub/venue. The toilets/plumbing blocked and sh*t and water flowed out into the function room. It was so bad, 2 bridesmaids starting vomiting. Like something out of a bad horror movie.

We moved into the bar for 2 hours. The bar was full of a rugby team. They were hammered and kept making passes at the women, pinching arses, etc. The wedding party just kept drinking to blot out the whole thing; bride and groom were legless. Nightmare night.

tomwaterford

Aidric wrote: »

Can't really understand why anyone would get locked before having to make a speech.

well...tbf some people cant stand public speaking...I couldn't give a speech like...I fully understand them taking the edge off it

HeidiHeidi

anncoates wrote: »

It really did happen to me.

I'm over it now. Sort of.

How's your wife doing?

Tin Foil Hat

Aidric wrote: »

Can't really understand why anyone would get locked before having to make a speech.

I had no speeches at my wedding. I didn't want to make one, and nobody wanted to hear one. As I said - great wedding.

jimmy180sx

My dad while ending his 15 second speech shouted..come on you gunners as he is a massive Arsenal fan..wife wasn't too happy but made me laugh

Frank Lee Midere

tomwaterford wrote: »

well...tbf some people cant stand public speaking...I couldn't give a speech like...I fully understand them taking the edge off it

One or two to calm the nerves, sure. But getting wasted is a bad idea.

That said they say Churchill never made a sober speech.

Lollipops23

Aidric wrote: »

Can't really understand why anyone would get locked before having to make a speech.

Dutch courage. People do crazy sh*t when they're nervous.

anncoates

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

How's your wife doing?

In sickness, and in health, and in mortification.

Tarzana

Aidric wrote: »

Can't really understand why anyone would get locked before having to make a speech.

Nerves, I guess. Or alcoholism.

mojesius

I was at a wedding where the groom started his speech with 'thanks everyone for coming. I'm just glad this day is here because to be honest it's been nothing but stress for the last 6 months'. Bride was not impressed and proceeded to poke and prompt him for the rest of his speech...

Simonigs1.0

At the last wedding I attended, that of my girlfriend's brother, I had to physically stop a friend of the bride from giving her child alcohol. Turned out they had been doing it all evening and they found it hilarious.
Then the bride came storming into the men's room later in the evening, screaming that it was the last dance, and everyone needed to be on the dance floor, or her night would be ruined. She was just a ****ing bitch.
I left shortly after.

Rightwing

I'd say the wedding in cork 6 months ago with the girl marrying a gay was a disaster :mad:

Some years ago my partner was asked to be best man for a guy he was friends with when he was a kid. He wasn't really friends with this guy any more but figured he would oblige as the guy didn't really have any friends. He never met the bride until the day of the "wedding".

The invitation was received. The kind you get in a notepad for a child's birthday and fill in the gaps. Date and venue were set. Registry office jobby then back to a hotel for the usual white wedding carry on. Grand.

There was little contact from the groom but the wedding was going ahead and all was good. He didn't want much help from best man, no stag or the likes. It was all a touch awkward.

The week of the wedding and nobody could contact the groom. He was ignoring calls right up until the day before and noone knew of the wedding was going ahead. My fella's phone finally rang. The hotel had "lost" the couple's deposit and the wedding couldn't be held there. Sooooooo the marriage part was still going ahead and we arrived at registry office the following morning. There were a handful of family and us. I was the most dressed up person there at that point.

Groom arrives and has *no* money. Best man has to pay registrar! Groom takes off suit jacket and under his white shirt you could very clearly see his Celtic Jersey.

Bride arrives very very late, pissed (turns out they met in AA). Young daughter in tow. Full meringue wedding gown. Bridesmaid holding her train right up in the sir for the whole world to see her knickers. Bride was so drunk she couldn't pronounce some of the words of the vows.

I now pronounce you man and wife was done, we're all standing outside registry office with nowhere to go! So my fella suggests a pub that's kind of restauranty and we all head there. Knowing the groom has no money we decide to pay for everyone's carvery instead of giving them the money we had for their gift!

2pm arrives, and it turns out it's time for the brides daughter to go back foster care and her social worker picked her up. I sh*t you not. 3pm bride still in full meringue in middle of pub and barman refuses to serve her more drink as she's plastered. At that point I went home.

They headed to another [kip of a] pub, and drank there for the afternoon. Bride in meringue, groom in Celtic Jersey. Later that evening the band in the pub played "their song" and they had their first dance in the middle of the pub. They then got chips in the chipper and brought them into the pub.

They broke up six months later.

Necro

My own wedding went off grand, except for my best man. He cursed his way through the speech, dropping F-bombs constantly and even wheeling out the C-bomb.
Then he proceeded to get drunk and have a punch up that closed the late bar. Disaster doesn't even describe him.

The Peanut

Deleted User wrote: »

Some years ago my partner was asked to be best man for a guy he was friends with when he was a kid. He wasn't really friends with this guy any more but figured he would oblige as the guy didn't really have any friends. He never met the bride until the day of the "wedding".

The invitation was received. The kind you get in a notepad for a child's birthday and fill in the gaps. Date and venue were set. Registry office jobby then back to a hotel for the usual white wedding carry on. Grand.

There was little contact from the groom but the wedding was going ahead and all was good. He didn't want much help from best man, no stag or the likes. It was all a touch awkward.

The week of the wedding and nobody could contact the groom. He was ignoring calls right up until the day before and noone knew of the wedding was going ahead. My fella's phone finally rang. The hotel had "lost" the couple's deposit and the wedding couldn't be held there. Sooooooo the marriage part was still going ahead and we arrived at registry office the following morning. There were a handful of family and us. I was the most dressed up person there at that point.

Groom arrives and has *no* money. Best man has to pay registrar! Groom takes off suit jacket and under his white shirt you could very clearly see his Celtic Jersey.

Bride arrives very very late, pissed (turns out they met in AA). Young daughter in tow. Full meringue wedding gown. Bridesmaid holding her train right up in the sir for the whole world to see her knickers. Bride was so drunk she couldn't pronounce some of the words of the vows.

I now pronounce you man and wife was done, we're all standing outside registry office with nowhere to go! So my fella suggests a pub that's kind of restauranty and we all head there. Knowing the groom has no money we decide to pay for everyone's carvery instead of giving them the money we had for their gift!

2pm arrives, and it turns out it's time for the brides daughter to go back foster care and her social worker picked her up. I sh*t you not. 3pm bride still in full meringue in middle of pub and barman refuses to serve her more drink as she's plastered. At that point I went home.

They headed to another [kip of a] pub, and drank there for the afternoon. Bride in meringue, groom in Celtic Jersey. Later that evening the band in the pub played "their song" and they had their first dance in the middle of the pub. They then got chips in the chipper and brought them into the pub.

They broke up six months later.

That whole story is so sad. All I can think of is the poor child.

Rightwing

Deleted User wrote: »

Some years ago my partner was asked to be best man for a guy he was friends with when he was a kid. He wasn't really friends with this guy any more but figured he would oblige as the guy didn't really have any friends. He never met the bride until the day of the "wedding".

The invitation was received. The kind you get in a notepad for a child's birthday and fill in the gaps. Date and venue were set. Registry office jobby then back to a hotel for the usual white wedding carry on. Grand.

There was little contact from the groom but the wedding was going ahead and all was good. He didn't want much help from best man, no stag or the likes. It was all a touch awkward.

The week of the wedding and nobody could contact the groom. He was ignoring calls right up until the day before and noone knew of the wedding was going ahead. My fella's phone finally rang. The hotel had "lost" the couple's deposit and the wedding couldn't be held there. Sooooooo the marriage part was still going ahead and we arrived at registry office the following morning. There were a handful of family and us. I was the most dressed up person there at that point.

Groom arrives and has *no* money. Best man has to pay registrar! Groom takes off suit jacket and under his white shirt you could very clearly see his Celtic Jersey.

Bride arrives very very late, pissed (turns out they met in AA). Young daughter in tow. Full meringue wedding gown. Bridesmaid holding her train right up in the sir for the whole world to see her knickers. Bride was so drunk she couldn't pronounce some of the words of the vows.

I now pronounce you man and wife was done, we're all standing outside registry office with nowhere to go! So my fella suggests a pub that's kind of restauranty and we all head there. Knowing the groom has no money we decide to pay for everyone's carvery instead of giving them the money we had for their gift!

2pm arrives, and it turns out it's time for the brides daughter to go back foster care and her social worker picked her up. I sh*t you not. 3pm bride still in full meringue in middle of pub and barman refuses to serve her more drink as she's plastered. At that point I went home.

They headed to another [kip of a] pub, and drank there for the afternoon. Bride in meringue, groom in Celtic Jersey. Later that evening the band in the pub played "their song" and they had their first dance in the middle of the pub. They then got chips in the chipper and brought them into the pub.

They broke up six months later.

Fine Irish wedding.

donegaLroad

I have played at approx 500 weddings over the years, and I always get talking to other hired hands such as the video man, the chocolate fountain guy, the photographer, limo driver,

At one particular wedding in Tyrone, the video guy told me that he had been filming a wedding 2 weeks before, where the father of the bride had lost £5,000 cash during the evening.

So they asked him to examine the video after the wedding to see if there had been anyone spotted near the father of the bride's table during the night, which might have looked suspicious.. it turned out, it was the groom that was caught on film pick-pocketing the father-in-law.

The marriage was over straight away.

(sorry if anyone knows anyone, that knows anyone, that knows anyone who is related to etc)

Lisha

donegaLroad wrote: »

I have played at approx 500 weddings over the years, and I always get talking to other hired hands such as the video man, the chocolate fountain guy, the photographer, limo driver,

At one particular wedding in Tyrone, the video guy told me that he had been filming a wedding 2 weeks before, where the father of the bride had lost £5,000 cash during the evening.

So they asked him to examine the video after the wedding to see if there had been anyone spotted near the father of the bride's table during the night, which might have looked suspicious.. it turned out, it was the groom that was caught on film pick-pocketing the father-in-law.

The marriage was over straight away.

(sorry if anyone knows anyone, that knows anyone, that knows anyone who is related to etc)

wtf would anyone have 5grand I'm cash at a wedding!

Nekarsulm

Was at a wedding where the grooms father and his own brother ended up to punching the heads off each other. Turned out grooms father was tipping a girl in the local Dept. Ag. office and brother found out during the meal.

donegaLroad

Lisha wrote: »

wtf would anyone have 5grand I'm cash at a wedding!

it was the father of the bride, he was going to be buying rounds, paying for rooms, taxis, pay the wedding band

The Aussie

The Wife dragged me off to a friend of a friends Wedding a few years ago now for a couple living in Limerick, the couple are bit of an odd couple but well suited for each other for the same reason.

The Groom during his speech proceeded to spend 10 minutes telling everyone how much of a "Tough Guy" he was throwing in fighting stories, there were School Fight stories, he spent a year in Australia so there were Travelling Fight stories, Work Fight stories, just came across as a immature pin d!ck tool, then spent 2 minutes thanking everyone, I can't believe they are still together, but they are fairly odd to be fair...

Lisha

donegaLroad wrote: »

it was the father of the bride, he was going to be buying rounds, paying for rooms, taxis, pay the wedding band

Yeah fair enough, boring us paid for our own and had all payments in envelopes neatly arranged in hotel safe. I'd never be comfortable of pulling big wads of cash out of pockets.

humbert

Deleted User wrote: »

...
They broke up six months later.

There are starving Ebola infected kids in Africa who upon reading that would have to consider their own lives relatively ok.

ZeroThreat

Augmerson wrote: »

Don't go to any wedding involving Walder Frey.

Or any where the groom dies

http://rack.2.mshcdn.com/media/ZgkyMDE0LzA0LzE0LzA5L1NjcmVlblNob3QyLmZiMjAzLnBuZwpwCXRodW1iCTEyMDB4OTYwMD4/9507dbbe/aed/Screen-Shot-2014-04-13-at-11.06.49-PM.png

anncoates

donegaLroad wrote: »

it was the father of the bride, he was going to be buying rounds, paying for rooms, taxis, pay the wedding band

Actually our wedding DJ ( a last minute choice as a friend couldn't make it) didn't play about half the songs we set out in advance and slipped in a few horrible unsolicited tunes so I instructed my best man not to pay him and escort him off the premises if necessary but my wife overruled me to avoid a scene which knowing my mate was probably for the best.

If I ever have cause to get married again, I'm hooking Spotify up to an amplifier.

kylith

anncoates wrote: »

If I ever have cause to get married again, I'm hooking Spotify up to an amplifier.

Mate of mine made a playlist in Itunes and hooked it up to the speakers. You honestly couldn't tell the difference.

donegaLroad

anncoates wrote: »

Actually our wedding DJ ( a last minute choice as a friend couldn't make it) didn't play about half the songs we set out in advance and slipped in a few horrible unsolicited tunes so I instructed my best man not to pay him and escort him off the premises if necessary but my wife overruled me to avoid a scene which knowing my mate was probably for the best.

If I ever have cause to get married again, I'm hooking Spotify up to an amplifier.

I'll bet that some of those 'horrible unsolicited tunes' you mentioned were....

Sex is on Fire

I used to love her a long long time ago

The Galway Girl

Scissor Sisters

celtic rock version of the Field's of Athenry

Summer of 69

anncoates

donegaLroad wrote: »

celtic rock version of the Field's of Athenry

Wife or no wife, that's a kicked down the front stairs of the hotel offence.

Nekarsulm

Went to France on the Oscar Wilde back in August. Our wedding band (from 2001) were the musical entertainment on the way out!

Mrs W

Went to the wedding of OH old friend who he hadn't seen in years, they'd been in college together. The couple were quite young getting married and from the inner city. Alarm bells should have rang when they were all doing drugs in the toilets.
About 10pm a bit of a row kicked off, father of the bride stepped in and threw a box, mother of the bride stepped in just as a return punch was coming and ended up with the most horrific black eye. It swelled up like I don't know what within 10 mins, the whole place kicked off and half the crowd were locked outside and the other half inside.
The bridesmaid was arrested for biting a guard who tried to arrest her boyfriend.

They do say the worse the wedding the better the marriage and they're still together though!

donegaLroad

Lisha wrote: »

Yeah fair enough, boring us paid for our own and had all payments in envelopes neatly arranged in hotel safe. I'd never be comfortable of pulling big wads of cash out of pockets.

thats a more sensible idea Lisha..