Lack of money destroying relationship

Emme

Addle wrote: »

I'd be more put out at not staying over rather than having to pay for a taxi.

Maybe the OP doesn't want to stay over but I hope that her boyfriend doesn't have his fun then send her home in a taxi at her own expense. What they do is their own business but him sending her home afterwards would be unspeakably selfish and mean-spirited and a major red flag.

EDIT I posted this before the OP's post appeared. Fair enough if she wants to be home in time for work and if he shares with his brother. Anyway she has made the right the decision and it's onwards and upwards from now.

OP, if you had the money to spare you would be better to spend it on yourself (hair, manicure, massage etc.) than on taxis to get home from a stingy fekker like your soon to be ex boyfriend. Take your time meeting someone new, there's no rush but make sure he treats you properly.

HelgaWard

You have your answer there OP, he shows absolutely no consideration for you, he sounds like a complete Me Feiner. You are better off rid, quadruple dump! He sounds like the type of fella who would be asking for pain killers for himself when you are in the labor ward!

CaraMay

Oh what a Pratt. Well rid op

MistyCheese

Good for you OP, you were upfront and now it seems you have your answer. If this man were genuine his response to 'what happened to you paying for my taxi this time, like you offered?' wouldnt have been 'did I say that? I don't remember saying that, doesn't sound like something I'd say'. It would be something along the lines of 'oh I'm sorry, I forgot, why didn't you remind me? Here's the money I said I'd give you'

MagicMarker

The fact he's in his mid 20s in an "excellent well paid job" and yet still lives at home sharing a room with his brother should be testament to how much of a loser this guy is.

Emme

MagicMarker wrote: »

The fact he's in his mid 20s in an "excellent well paid job" and yet still lives at home sharing a room with his brother should be testament to how much of a loser this guy is.

He's probably saving for a house or better still hoping to meet a good laying hen with a place of her own who will take him in, pay all the bills and look after him like his mammy

LegacyUser

Hi all,

So I sent him a text and I outlined all the reasons, and I said it was a pity that he hadn't the maturity to discuss this and instead chose to ignore me. I wished him well in the future and his response was so arrogant I am delighted to be rid of him now.

He responded by saying 'Asking me if I'm stingy? who says that to people?' (he ignored the reasoning behind it) and then he went on to say how it isn't working out for HIM and that HE'S sorry but HE'LL have to nip it in the bud and HE ended up wishing me well. Bizarre.

No loss. Loser is right.

Thanks again for all the responses, had I not have posted here I would most likely have continued to be a doormat. Onwards and upwards.

Faith

He shares a room with his brother?! As an adult?! Holy Jesus, that would be enough to make me run for the hills.

Well done on finishing with him, OP. He sounds incredibly stingy, amongst a host of other things...

CaraMay

You should send him a link to this thread so he sees how mad it all is.

Big Bag of Chips

I don't mean to laugh OP, but when I read you post about sending him the text yesterday I thought... She's going to get a text soon "dumping" her! I'm sorry you got dumped (?!) but maybe it's all for the best, eh??!

He was being subtle before which is why you weren't really sure if you were right or wrong. But now you've caught him out on just being downright mean. I hope him and his brother are very happy together

CollyFlower

Name and shame him on here (if it's allowed) so others can avoid him. (^_-) :-D

Taltos

Mod Note:
Colly - read our charter asap. This is a close to zero tolerance forum and asking posters to reveal such information is against the spirit of what we do here.

mapaca

You're well rid of him! Onwards and upwards. :-)

Meauldsegosha

What a tosser, you're well rid OP. The sad thing is he will learn nothing from this and will treat his next girlfriend exactly the same.

LegacyUser

You did the right thing getting rid of this guy. I don't think he lacks the cop on to know that you did not have as much income as him but was quite happy to have you in his life once you paid your way.
As one of other posts said here this lad is looking for a good laying hen.
Some people are just mean with money or mean of spirit ( quite happy to keep taking things/ expect people to do what they want). I know people who are mean with money and/or mean of spirit and being honest they don't have many friends and relationships never last to long.
At least you realised what this man was like early on and got rid of him.

Esel

CaraMay wrote: »

You should send him a link to this thread so he sees how mad it all is.

Not a good idea.

It might sound like fun, but why kick a wasps nest?

Merkin

Faith wrote: »

He shares a room with his brother?! As an adult?! Holy Jesus, that would be enough to make me run for the hills.

Lol I know. Epic EPIC fail on his part . But then considering what a tight git he is then it's hardly surprising. He probably has his Holy Communion money sewn into the mattress too...

Memnoch

I'm going to buck the trend a little and say that perhaps your approach wasn't the most sensitive either.

Rather than say to him - something like - 'the restaurant near your house sounds lovely, but honestly my finances aren't that great and I can't really afford the trip.'

Instead you sent him a very defensive and passive aggressive 'are you stingy' text, which no one will respond well to. I suspect you took this approach because it was the least damaging to your pride rather than having an open and honest discussion about your financial situation with him and seeing if it could be worked out. Think about it from his perspective. Being called stingy out of the blue without a proper discussion of the situation.

Regardless, it's water under the bridge. However, I would suggest that in the future if you feel that there is financial pressure on you in the relationship, and the guy isn't getting the hints or clueing in to your situation, try to not let your resentment build up so much and have an open and honest discussion earlier if if is needed.

I think only then will you get an open and honest measure of the person you are dating. This is of course easier to say than to do.

Not to say this guy isn't stingy, but it's easy to jump on the bandwagon and bash him. Best of luck in the future.

maria34

OP why u think he had "well paid " job? As he was a liar then he could have made up lies about that. If he didnt then sorry but he must be some serious narcissist or something. Keep away from that kid of lads in the future.

rainbowtrout

Memnoch wrote: »

I'm going to buck the trend a little and say that perhaps your approach wasn't the most sensitive either.

Rather than say to him - something like - 'the restaurant near your house sounds lovely, but honestly my finances aren't that great and I can't really afford the trip.'

Instead you sent him a very defensive and passive aggressive 'are you stingy' text, which no one will respond well to.

He'd already pulled a stunt the previous night asking her back to his place and when she was polite and said she couldn't afford it, he offered to pay, and then didn't and pretended he didn't remember offering. It was time for being blunt.

Silver lining OP?? Well at least you will see the warning signs straight away if you have the misfortune of running into a guy like him in the future.

Memnoch

rainbowtrout wrote: »

He'd already pulled a stunt the previous night asking her back to his place and when she was polite and said she couldn't afford it, he offered to pay, and then didn't and pretended he didn't remember offering. It was time for being blunt.

Silver lining OP?? Well at least you will see the warning signs straight away if you have the misfortune of running into a guy like him in the future.

He could have genuinely forgot. I don't see the benefit of calling someone stingy instead of having a mature and adult discussion.

keane2097

Memnoch wrote: »

He could have genuinely forgot. I don't see the benefit of calling someone stingy instead of having a mature and adult discussion.

There's literally no chance he genuinely forgot considering this was an issue the OP had flagged a few times before.

Even if he had his response to having it brought up was "oh I don't remember that. How are you?". A normal human would have said "oh I don't remember that - sorry, I'll sort you out next time I see you".

This one is open and shut tbh.

Neyite

Mod Note:

Open and shut indeed. OP has resolved her issue by dissolving her relationship, so to avoid dragging things further off topic, I'll close this down.