Is there "something wrong" with a guy if he...

keane2097

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Are you a man?

Are you serious?

the evasion_kid

walshb wrote: »

Few beers and mens standards are almost non existent. Sure, there will be fussy men, just like women, but seriously, let's not pretend they are in any way comparable. On average men will rarely refuse a chance to have sex. Women refuse much more.

I wouldnt say non existent,but If a woman has anything going for her in my observations whether it only be a nice ass,a nice chest or decent enough looking they'll pull no bother especially if you add alcohol into the mix

Barely There

keane2097 wrote: »

It's a direct quote actually, but tytyty for the advice.

A direct quote from who or what?

Or do we have to guess?

reprazant

Barely There wrote: »

A direct quote from who or what?

Or do we have to guess?

From the post directly above his.

You'd probably know if you had read it instead of trying to be smart.

Wibbs

Blacktie. wrote: »

You do see the flaw in this argument right...

Well... yes and no BT. I dunno about 10% of men getting with 80% of women or any of that stuff(and I seriously doubt it), but historically and this is in our genetic heritage, there appears to have been some percentage of men who reproduced with a larger percentage of women. Far more female genetic lines survive than male*.


Again just from personal observation I knew no women who were virgins at 30, but I knew a few men who were. I suspect two guys were/are nearer 40. Put it another way, if the OP was a woman who wanted to wed a virgin, or very inexperienced bloke she'd find it significantly easier to find one. I'd reckon the women I've known overall(though there were outliers at either end of the scale) had more sexual partners than the men overall(again allowing for outliers). Of course because this is from personal experience it's hardly conclusive by any means, but I would suspect that it would hold true as an average.

Depending on cultures of course. Some cultures have more of a casual sex/"hook up" culture than others.









*Unusually in England Male Saxon lines survive though in very small numbers but female Saxon lines are extinct.

walshb

keane2097 wrote: »

Citation needed. Absolute rubbish IMO.

Men in general probably have lower standards than women but the idea that the majority (i.e. 51% of men) would sleep with practically anyone is laughable.

The average man and woman on the street. There is no way you can say that they are equally as free and easy about jumping into bed with someone that they have just met. It's a DNA thing. Men are the ones who hunt and seek sex. It's no different in the animal kingdom. Yes, women crave it too, but the way men behave is so much more forceful and demanding. They hunt. I still firmly believe that almost no man will refuse sex on the basis that he would rather wait. Sure, they may refuse it because the woman or man is just not in the slightest bit attractive to them, but even then, many men will "dip the wick." Women are a lot more fussy IMO. And they are a lot more likely to wait before committing to a sexual encounter with a man.

walshb

the evasion_kid wrote: »

I wouldnt say non existent,but If a woman has anything going for her in my observations whether it only be a nice ass,a nice chest or decent enough looking they'll pull no bother especially if you add alcohol into the mix

So true. Any half decent woman could get laid in an instant if she so wanted to. Many men can too, but it takes the right woman to be selected. More women will refuse a one night stand than men.

reprazant

walshb wrote: »

So true. Any half decent woman could get laid in an instant if she so wanted to. Many men can too, but it takes the right woman to be selected. More women will refuse a one night stand than men.

That's possibly because people like you call them a "slag" for having them.

Bepolite

Wibbs wrote: »

The mod bit has jack to do with anything really. Mods are caretakers, forum janitors and nothing more.

Fair comment and I apologise there was no need to point that out.

Wibbs wrote: »

As for boxes, I was just giving my opinion based on my personal experiences, which I made clear. One can have differing opinions I would have thought, or are we all supposed to fall in behind one fence or other, or whichever fence is "acceptable"?

For all the talk from some of "old fashioned thinking", that's precisely how old fashioned thinking had weight back in the day. It was culturally acceptable and woe betide anyone suggesting otherwise. The sexual revolution turned that on its head and suggested sexual freedom. And that's great, however freedom should go both ways. If someone, male or female wants to marry a virgin for their own reasons then that should be just as acceptable as someone who seeks out a partner with 50 exes. Thats how true freedom from "culturally acceptable" works, or should work.

I took issue more with you suggesting that anyone who had large number of sexual partners was screwed up in the head. I realise you're speaking from your own point of view only but I have to contest this point, and perhaps should have done more directly. While I'm sure promiscuity is a symptom with some people other people just like sex and are perfectly balanced.

Wibbs wrote: »

You say on the one hand that there's nothing weird with the OP's views, yet on the other attach his "personal hang ups" to the argument. Do you see how that might be seen as both contrary and judgmental?

Every single one of us attaches our personal hang-ups to our relationships, sexual or otherwise; the alternative would be a much nicer world. Their is nothing weird about the OP attaching his.

Wibbs wrote: »

What I do agree with along with most of us in the thread is I can't abide the hypocrisy when it comes to gender. The "oh as a man I can wear my willie away sowing wild oats but want a virgin wife" stuff. That I can't go along with at all.

Well at least we agree there.

Wibbs wrote: »

Actually BP, I'd kinda disagree. People tend to preselect who they fall for quite a bit, based on childhood and adolescent experiences, cultural influences, social position, education, biological compatibility, personal worldview and relationship history etc. It's a complex interaction I grant you, but it's usually present in selection.

Yes of course you do to some degree, most people chose another human for example. The point I'm making though is if you start attaching a huge set of conditions to the person you fall for you're probably going to be a lonely person or worse; you'll pick that perfect person that you're not actually in love with at all because it's what you think you wanted. I'd wager there's a fair few more of them out there with serious marital problems than there are because one of the couple has had more sexual partners than the other.

Wibbs wrote: »

Or people have differing opinions to yours?

People are welcome to have a different opinion to me. I simply find some of (what I would consider) very conservative views expressed here to be odd as I'm sure many find mine odd. What I do find a bit amusing is the fact that many people consider that to be a dirty word but are so well described by it.

walshb

reprazant wrote: »

That's possibly because people like you call them a "slag" for having them.

I didn't call them slags. Be careful.

And, whatever the reason, I don't care. Point still stands.

DoYouEvenLift

keane2097 wrote: »

Are you serious?

If you are, have you or do you not know many men who in their younger years regretted sleeping with women they didn't deem attractive once they sobered up? Basically every lad I know will admit to this, the most common one being "slept with a fat girl, wish I hadn't"

Ardillaun

Business Cat wrote: »

I have a two fold question for those that say the amount of partners someone had had would be an issue.

Firstly, say you meet the girl of your dreams, someone that ticks the boxes in every conceievable way based on your own preferences but you find out she had had intercourse with <insert your own cut off point here> partners.

Would you over look it if she had slept with 1,2,3 or what ever more partners than you would deem normally acceptable?

What's the cut off point, if any?

Secondly, if the conversation came up with a partner and it turned out you had slept with twice as many people as she had. She decides based on your number that you have been too promiscuous for her tastes and bins you, I presume that would be 100% acceptable?

The idea that there is a specific number is misleading but the notion that, statistically, there may be correlates between number of partners and other behaviours deserves more serious consideration. We don't want it to be true but it may be. It deserves to be considered just like any other idea.

Humans are naturally conflicted on this issue. Notions of female honour are deeply embedded in nearly every surviving society on the planet and are probably inherited - the survival advantage is clear. As we move into a different value set, we can't fully leave this old one behind. I suspect a different standard for judging male and female sexual behaviour will persist for a long time to come no matter what we would like to think.

walshb

This arbitrary figure is too subjective. Too many permutations and scenarios and circumstances. Let's say it was 30, added to the fact that she went out and about 30 times. That's a 100 percent "slut" rating, or if a man, jack the lad rating. But if you knew that she slept with 30 but refused twice as many men then it may ease the pain a little!:P

Wibbs

Bepolite wrote: »

Fair comment and I apologise there was no need to point that out.

Ah cheers.

I took issue more with you suggesting that anyone who had large number of sexual partners was screwed up in the head. I realise you're speaking from your own point of view only but I have to contest this point, and perhaps should have done more directly. While I'm sure promiscuity is a symptom with some people other people just like sex and are perfectly balanced.

Sure, but I have found it to be very contextual to the individual and have personally noted high number folks(male and female) to be more likely to be more "screwed up". Ditto for very low number folks. Like I said originally "average" seems to be the sweet spot. Put it another way if I met a woman of say 30 with only 1 ex sexual partner(or none) I'd raise an eyebrow just as much as I would with the same women rocking a figure of 50+

Every single one of us attaches our personal hang-ups to our relationships, sexual or otherwise; the alternative would be a much nicer world. Their is nothing weird about the OP attaching his.

I meant your qualification of his worldview, he said nothing about any hangups in his posts(maybe I missed them?); paraphrasing "oh you're not weird OP, but you possibly have sexual hangups for holding such a view" kinda thing.

To be fair though you didn't illustrate this even close to the level of others in the thread as far as the OP's position goes.

Examples from different people included:

"Daft outlook to have."

"Virginity fetish is it"

"So someone with the same experience as yourself then?

Understandable."

"Are you 14 years old ?"

What I'm pointing out is that while the sexual revolution increased freedom of opinion, choice and action, it tends to do so in one direction. Indeed can be extremely "conservative" in the other.

Forget the OP and any history attached there which may skew things, but say a woman wrote "I've only had sex with two people in relationships and never did ONS and I'd like to meet men who were of a similar history and opinion". While they'd be less likely to be laughed at, they and their choices in sexuality would be seen as odd, old fashioned etc. Especially compared to a woman saying she slept with 30 people or whatever. Far more likely to get the "go girl!" replies. On the gender front I also suspect a man saying he had 60 sexual partners would get more static than a woman with the same number would.

For me sexual freedom and the sexual revolution should be about choice, choice without judgement of that choice, whether you're into ployamorous orgies or being a vestal virgin.

Yes of course you do to some degree, most people chose another human for example. The point I'm making though is if you start attaching a huge set of conditions to the person you fall for you're probably going to be a lonely person or worse; you'll pick that perfect person that you're not actually in love with at all because it's what you think you wanted. I'd wager there's a fair few more of them out there with serious marital problems than there are because one of the couple has had more sexual partners than the other.

Oh sure, I'd agree there. I was more commenting on the cultural and romantic idea that it's all something "magical", when it's actually quite predictable.

People are welcome to have a different opinion to me. I simply find some of (what I would consider) very conservative views expressed here to be odd as I'm sure many find mine odd. What I do find a bit amusing is the fact that many people consider that to be a dirty word but are so well described by it.

Aye but odd changes over time and place. Your worldview would be considered far more odd than say the OP's 30 years ago or in quite the number of cultures. Personally I prefer an environment where everyone is allowed to be odd in every direction without getting static for it.

Ave Sodalis

Self control? Really? It certainly isn't the case with me. Like I said before, my number is near 20 and the only reason for it was because I was single and liked sex but valued more than sex for a relationship. In fact, I'm incredibly fussy when it comes to picking people I want to spend time with. Now my number is not the number of people who have ever so much as looked at me with interest, nowhere near it. For every 1 I went home with, there were 50 I refused. Plus, self control can be measured far more accurately than that...

walshb

sup_dude wrote: »

Self control? Really? It certainly isn't the case with me. Like I said before, my number is near 20 and the only reason for it was because I was single and liked sex but valued more than sex for a relationship. In fact, I'm incredibly fussy when it comes to picking people I want to spend time with. Now my number is not the number of people who have ever so much as looked at me with interest, nowhere near it. For every 1 I went home with, there were 50 I refused. Plus, self control can be measured far more accurately than that...

A man I assume. You are saying to us that you refused a sexual encounter with a man or woman a whole lot more than you took up the offer? Was the reason mainly due to physical attractiveness?

Edit: You are a woman. That would explain the high refusal rate. Men's refusal rates isn't close to that.

Barely There

sup_dude wrote: »

For every 1 I went home with, there were 50 I refused.

I wonder would any single man have similar stats? - I doubt it.

I would have been quite choosy myself when single - I certainly wouldn't have been like some of my 'every hole's a goal' friends, but I can't imagine any guy turning down 50 random women who would offer him sex.

walshb

Barely There wrote: »

I wonder would any single man have similar stats? - I doubt it.

I would have been quite choosy myself when single - I certainly wouldn't have been like some of my 'every hole's a goal' friends, but I can't imagine any guy turning down 50 random women who would offer him sex.

Unless they were complete bowlers there is not a hope that the normal man would be so refusing. The lady above is typical of many ladies. A lady! Giving her a pass on the 20 men!:D

Ave Sodalis

Barely There wrote: »

I wonder would any single man have similar stats? - I doubt it.

I would have been quite choosy myself when single - I certainly wouldn't have been like some of my 'every hole's a goal' friends, but I can't imagine any guy turning down 50 random women who would offer him sex.

That's my point though, I'm not seeing how a high number makes someone an undesirable partner when it's not a case of them having a high number because they say yes to everyone.

walshb

walshb wrote: »

This arbitrary figure is too subjective. Too many permutations and scenarios and circumstances. Let's say it was 30, added to the fact that she went out and about 30 times. That's a 100 percent "slut" rating, or if a man, jack the lad rating. But if you knew that she slept with 30 but refused twice as many men then it may ease the pain a little!:P

So for you it a bit like how advertising works, a woman is more worthy/desirable if she attracts a lot of interest and has sex, but turns down a los of men as well, its the fact that she has turned down lots of men that's the crucial point in her attractiveness, she is all the more desirable because if you in a relationship with her you are getting something she turned down some for?

So basically its about your ego.

walshb

mariaalice wrote: »

So for you it a bit like how advertising works, a woman is more worthy/desirable if she attracts a lot of interest and has sex, but turns down a los of men as well, its the fact that she has turned down lots of men that's the crucial point in her attractiveness, she is all the more desirable because if you in a relationship with her you are getting something she turned down some for?

So basically its about your ego.

Close, yes.

I am sure most men and most women would rather that the man or woman that they marry and settle with is somehow "clean," in the sense that they weren't the local bicycle. It's only a natural feeling to want this. Not saying virgin like, but a little fussy and choosy in who they decided to sleep with.

eviltwin

walshb wrote: »

Close, yes.

I am sure most men and most women would rather that the man or woman that they marry and settle with is somehow "clean," in the sense that they weren't the local bicycle. It's only a natural feeling to want this. Not saying virgin like, but a little fussy and choosy in who they decided to sleep with.

The local bicycle? I know a few people of both sexes who have a lot of casual sex but they wouldn't have a reputation. The world isn't that small and if you are discreet, as most people are I'd imagine, who would ever know you have had a lot of partners. Its not something most people discuss.

Barely There

eviltwin wrote: »

The local bicycle? I know a few people of both sexes who have a lot of casual sex but they wouldn't have a reputation. The world isn't that small and if you are discreet, as most people are I'd imagine, who would ever know you have had a lot of partners. Its not something most people discuss.

The term 'local bicycle' probably comes from a smaller town setting than a big city like Dublin. And it doesn't matter how discreet you are, if you're sleeping with a lot of blokes, the chances are that many of them won't be so discreet about discussing/bragging about it.

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

The local bicycle? I know a few people of both sexes who have a lot of casual sex but they wouldn't have a reputation. The world isn't that small and if you are discreet, as most people are I'd imagine, who would ever know you have had a lot of partners. Its not something most people discuss.

That true very few people today live in some ballygobackwards village when everyone know every one else, people move, go to college, live in urban areas, emigrate, mix with different people. The age of marriage is rising. How would you know what they did when they were young.

I cant believe in 2014 any of this is still an issue for people.

eviltwin

Barely There wrote: »

The term 'local bicycle' probably comes from a smaller town setting than a big city like Dublin. And it doesn't matter how discreet you are, if you're sleeping with a lot of blokes, the chances are that many of them won't be so discreet about discussing/bragging about it.

I suppose its a question of the type of people you know and what you like to discuss. I couldn't care at all who sleeps with who, its not something I've ever discussed with friends, its not something that tends to come up in conversation. I've no interest in who went home with who. Any discussion of sex tends to be done in a discreet way and I've known most of my friends since we were teenagers, they were never like that. Yeah you get people who brag about who they've been with but its very childish and juvenile. I would imagine most adults are mature enough not to do that.

DoYouEvenLift

I've changed my mind. I'll now be eagerly seeking a partner with as many sexual partners as possible as obviously they'll be the best in bed and completely comfortable experimenting with me since they'll be choosing to settle with me and not one of the other hundreds of partners they had failed or purely sexual relationships with. Hopefully I can find one who has partaken in lots of threesomes but I'm feeling lucky, so maybe I can snag one who has been in multiple orgies and gang bangs as clearly this is a highly respectable and desired kind of partner. She will definitely help me raise my children and instill good morals on them as they mature and grow up. Who knows, maybe if I have a daughter she can grow up to be just like my partner, sexually liberated and free to do whatever she likes as possessing these opinions means that I am completely open minded and a liberal thinker.

Thank you all for showing me the way. Please accept me.

ancapailldorcha

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I've changed my mind. I'll now be eagerly seeking a partner with as many sexual partners as possible as obviously they'll be the best in bed and completely comfortable experimenting with me since they'll be choosing to settle with me and not one of the other hundreds of partners they had failed or purely sexual relationships with. Hopefully I can find one who has partaken in lots of threesomes but I'm feeling lucky, so maybe I can snag one who has been in multiple orgies and gang bangs as clearly this is a highly respectable and desired kind of partner. She will definitely help me raise my children and instill good morals on them as they mature and grow up. Who knows, maybe if I have a daughter she can grow up to be just like my partner, sexually liberated and free to do whatever she likes as possessing these opinions means that I am completely open minded and a liberal thinker.

Thank you all for showing me the way.

Riiiight...

DoYouEvenLift

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Riiiight...

Don't oppress me with your sarcastic judgement.

eviltwin

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I've changed my mind. I'll now be eagerly seeking a partner with as many sexual partners as possible as obviously they'll be the best in bed and completely comfortable experimenting with me since they'll be choosing to settle with me and not one of the other hundreds of partners they had failed or purely sexual relationships with. Hopefully I can find one who has partaken in lots of threesomes but I'm feeling lucky, so maybe I can snag one who has been in multiple orgies and gang bangs as clearly this is a highly respectable and desired kind of partner. She will definitely help me raise my children and instill good morals on them as they mature and grow up. Who knows, maybe if I have a daughter she can grow up to be just like my partner, sexually liberated and free to do whatever she likes as possessing these opinions means that I am completely open minded and a liberal thinker.

Thank you all for showing me the way. Please accept me.

How will you ever know how many partners your wife has had? You don't ask that on a first date, are you really going to end things with someone who ticks all the others boxes on the basis of something they did before you even met?

Barely There

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I've changed my mind. I'll now be eagerly seeking a partner with as many sexual partners as possible as obviously they'll be the best in bed and completely comfortable experimenting with me since they'll be choosing to settle with me and not one of the other hundreds of partners they had failed or purely sexual relationships with. Hopefully I can find one who has partaken in lots of threesomes but I'm feeling lucky, so maybe I can snag one who has been in multiple orgies and gang bangs as clearly this is a highly respectable and desired kind of partner. She will definitely help me raise my children and instill good morals on them as they mature and grow up. Who knows, maybe if I have a daughter she can grow up to be just like my partner, sexually liberated and free to do whatever she likes as possessing these opinions means that I am completely open minded and a liberal thinker.

Thank you all for showing me the way. Please accept me.

How will you even know?

What if you ask the girl and she says she doesn't want to discuss it?
What if she lies?

Are you going to demand verified documented proof of any potential partners previous sexual encounters before you'll agree to marriage?

Ave Sodalis

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I've changed my mind. I'll now be eagerly seeking a partner with as many sexual partners as possible as obviously they'll be the best in bed and completely comfortable experimenting with me since they'll be choosing to settle with me and not one of the other hundreds of partners they had failed or purely sexual relationships with. Hopefully I can find one who has partaken in lots of threesomes but I'm feeling lucky, so maybe I can snag one who has been in multiple orgies and gang bangs as clearly this is a highly respectable and desired kind of partner. She will definitely help me raise my children and instill good morals on them as they mature and grow up. Who knows, maybe if I have a daughter she can grow up to be just like my partner, sexually liberated and free to do whatever she likes as possessing these opinions means that I am completely open minded and a liberal thinker.

Thank you all for showing me the way. Please accept me.

Why am I getting the feeling you've missed the point of most of the post directed towards you...

Boskowski

A virgin is the last thing I want in my bed.
Seriously man think about it.

Plus a case could be made she's more likely to cheat on you since eventually it'll dawn on her that you are the only guy she ever had. How boring she'll think and she might resent you for it and go wandering. Maybe not next year but what about 5, 10 years down the road when the gloss is off?

Serious cases of the madonna syndrome hangups in here. But what seems so 'clean' and comfortable has serious flaws. People don't think this one through.

Also this whole 'rhe mouth she kisses my children with' wtf? Were you born in the 19 hundreds or somethin?. I mean I just had a **** this morning yet you shook my hand when we met for breakfast no problem.

I'd say the desire for inexperienced (unblemished more like) spouses stems probably from insecurities. What if one (or all ) of the 20 were better than me in the sack sort of thing.

So I guess, yes, most likely there's something's wrong. 20 isn't that bad either.
Now hundreds is different as it may indicate some sort of compulsive behaviour but 20?

Alf Veedersane

I'm not sure why there is still a perception that a woman has been degraded for having a lot of sex.

Jesus H, sex is great fun. Really, it is.

And women enjoy it as well.

But god forbid they partake in it for fear that someone might think they're soiled goods for it.

If you're in a relationship with someone, their sexual history has no relvance other than STIs but that goes both ways.

Wompa1

Barely There wrote: »

The term 'local bicycle' probably comes from a smaller town setting than a big city like Dublin. And it doesn't matter how discreet you are, if you're sleeping with a lot of blokes, the chances are that many of them won't be so discreet about discussing/bragging about it.

Not necessarily. I'm living in a bigger city than Dublin. It can still apply within groups or circles. She wasn't bragging about anything but getting with a different guy any night they all go out whilst having a boyfriend you live with or worse still, getting with multiple guys in one night one after another tends to get you a reputation.

I just feel sorry for her boyfriend though. He's the geeky type. He's either completely oblivious or has such low confidence that he doesn't want to confront it. Hopefully if she catches something, she doesn't pass it on to him.

Wompa1

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

But god forbid they partake in it for fear that someone might think they're soiled goods for it.

If you're in a relationship with someone, their sexual history has no relvance other than STIs but that goes both ways.

Why? it works both ways. If I was a woman, there's no way I'd let Russel Brand or Rod Stewart stick it to me...The only way this could be perceived as a double standard is if those claiming it believe that it's admirable for men to f*ck all around them. I don't think it is on either side...

From reading this I have come to the conclusion that in sexual matters some people are motivated by.

(1) Their lack of self esteem masquerading as something else.

(2) Their ego



Also our sexual desires are not very pc, logical brain v emotional brain.

DoYouEvenLift

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

I'm not sure why there is still a perception that a woman has been degraded for having a lot of sex.

Jesus H, sex is great fun. Really, it is.

And women enjoy it as well.

But god forbid they partake in it for fear that someone might think they're soiled goods for it.

If you're in a relationship with someone, their sexual history has no relvance other than STIs but that goes both ways.

Women that have one night stands are being used purely for sexual pleasure by the man and are seen as nothing but a sex object and then tossed aside for the next man that comes along. If a woman's okay with that and knows it then more power to her.

Can women enjoy sex and one night stands? Obviously. But don't forget that most men engaging in them do not give a single sh!t about the woman once they've used them for what they wanted and got.

Wompa1 wrote: »

Not necessarily. I'm living in a bigger city than Dublin. It can still apply within groups or circles. She wasn't bragging about anything but getting with a different guy any night they all go out whilst having a boyfriend you live with or worse still, getting with multiple guys in one night one after another tends to get you a reputation.

I just feel sorry for her boyfriend though. He's the geeky type. He's either completely oblivious or has such low confidence that he doesn't want to confront it. Hopefully if she catches something, she doesn't pass it on to him.

This is why you, and other men in a similar situation, should tell him. Nobody wants to be seen as an eejit because their partners a cheating scumbag. If he doesn't believe or break up with her though then that's his problem and at least you'll have tried to help. Can't condone cheating.

Alf Veedersane

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Women that have one night stands are being used purely for sexual pleasure by the man and are seen as nothing but a sex object and then tossed aside for the next man that comes along. If a woman's okay with that and knows it then more power to her.

Can women enjoy sex and one night stands? Obviously. But don't forget that most men engaging in them do not give a single sh!t about the woman once they've used them for what they wanted and got.

But the women are?

Really?

You don't think women are capable for engaging in sex for exactly the same shallow reasons as men?

Or do you think they're expecting to wake up to breakfast in bed and flowers?

eviltwin

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Women that have one night stands are being used purely for sexual pleasure by the man and are seen as nothing but a sex object and then tossed aside for the next man that comes along. If a woman's okay with that and knows it then more power to her.

Can women enjoy sex and one night stands? Obviously. But don't forget that most men engaging in them do not give a single sh!t about the woman once they've used them for what they wanted and got.

I think you'll find a lot of women having one night stands feel the same way. Its purely a physical thing. Its not like women have one night stands hoping he'll be the one.

Wompa1

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Women that have one night stands are being used purely for sexual pleasure by the man and are seen as nothing but a sex object and then tossed aside for the next man that comes along. If a woman's okay with that and knows it then more power to her.

Can women enjoy sex and one night stands? Obviously. But don't forget that most men engaging in them do not give a single sh!t about the woman once they've used them for what they wanted and got.

I'm sure most women who have one night stands know that. Granted, I've known women who have gone crazy after one. I had a friend who had a one nighter appear on his door step at 3am one weeknight banging down his door. She punched him in the face when he opened the door.

Also had a 19 year old friend of a girlfriend in a heap crying because he just put her into a taxi and wouldn't return her texts...

Collateral damage

Alf Veedersane

Wompa1 wrote: »

Why? it works both ways. If I was a woman, there's no way I'd let Russel Brand or Rod Stewart stick it to me...The only way this could be perceived as a double standard is if those claiming it believe that it's admirable for men to f*ck all around them. I don't think it is on either side...

It's unlikely you'll be meeting Russell Brand or Rod Stewart anytime soon.

You're more likely to meet a man whose sexual history isn't plastered across the paper and you'll probably have no idea whether his number is 2, 20 or 200.

If you hit it off, you hit it off.

How soon do you ask a guy how many people he's slept with?

UnitedWeStand

quote="paddy1990;92505476"]

Personally I would rather marry a girl with as low an amount of sexual partners as possible, with a virgin being absolutely ideal.[/quote]

I'm exactly the same to be honest. I'm 22 at the moment and just came out of a three year relationship. Maybe this has influenced me and instead of going from girl to girl during 18-22 I stayed committed. It's a hell of a lot better if you're committed to each other, and screw insecurity etc if your future girlfriends had a multitude of **** up her that will play with your mind in terms of intimacy mainly all before say doubts pop in before you stack up. You need a healthy sex life at least in the beginning parts of a relationship if it's gonna go anywhere.

In the girl I plan to settle down with I would preferably want two or less. That way she has dignity, doesn't sell herself out, and by doing that her body and her as a whole looks a lot more attractive. Plus you don't have to worry about STD'S either.

Alf Veedersane

UnitedWeStand wrote: »

In the girl I plan to settle down with I would preferably want two or less. That way she has dignity, doesn't sell herself out, and by doing that her body and her as a whole looks a lot more attractive. Plus you don't have to worry about STD'S either.

Wow.

Just...wow.

Wompa1

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

It's unlikely you'll be meeting Russell Brand or Rod Stewart anytime soon.

You're more likely to meet a man whose sexual history isn't plastered across the paper and you'll probably have no idea whether his number is 2, 20 or 200.

If you hit it off, you hit it off.

How soon do you ask a guy how many people he's slept with?

That was an example of men with high numbers that I would think would have women seriously questioning if it's worth the risk.

How soon depends on the person or even if you ask. Have had relationships in the past in which the girl insisted on both of us getting tested before having sex. All personal preference. I did have one girl I asked...only one. Somebody said it's due to self confidence. I only asked one, I reckon it was my own lack of confidence in her...she ended up cheating on me. Which may have in part been my fault for not being confident in her...or I could tell myself...this is why I wasn't confident in her.

When she told me her number it threw me for a loop and made things worse in my mind. Struggled to get over it but then, she wasn't the right girl either so, in the end I'm better off.

I wouldn't be getting into a relationship with somebody who acts on impulse a lot.

reprazant

UnitedWeStand wrote: »

It's a hell of a lot better if you're committed to each other, and screw insecurity etc if your future girlfriends had a multitude of **** up her that will play with your mind in terms of intimacy mainly all before say doubts pop in before you stack up. You need a healthy sex life at least in the beginning parts of a relationship if it's gonna go anywhere.

I may be wrong but this seems to read as you don't want any future possible girlfriend to have much experience so that you don't get insecure about if her previous fellas were better than?

DoYouEvenLift

Also, I don't find it all very feminine. And a woman that's not feminine or does things that aren't feminine aren't usually attractive, most men will agree.

Wompa1

UnitedWeStand wrote: »

quote="paddy1990;92505476"]
In the girl I plan to settle down with I would preferably want two or less. That way she has dignity, doesn't sell herself out, and by doing that her body and her as a whole looks a lot more attractive. Plus you don't have to worry about STD'S either.

That's probably more rare than a Unicorn for girls around your age but good luck with that. Also not sure what you mean about her doing that to her body? You mean risking an STD or do you mean something more?

eviltwin

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Also, I don't find it all very feminine. And a woman that's not feminine or does things that aren't feminine aren't usually attractive, most men will agree.

Gotta hear more about this....what is it that makes a woman feminine?

Ave Sodalis

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Women that have one night stands are being used purely for sexual pleasure by the man and are seen as nothing but a sex object and then tossed aside for the next man that comes along. If a woman's okay with that and knows it then more power to her.

Can women enjoy sex and one night stands? Obviously. But don't forget that most men engaging in them do not give a single sh!t about the woman once they've used them for what they wanted and got.

Actually, in my own experience, it's the other way around more so. Out of all the guys I've slept with (and I keep bringing me into it because I can only speak for myself), I've fallen for one. The rest were clearly one night stands. Some, if they were good enough and could hold boundaries, may have even become **** buddies. However, I've had guys who wouldn't let me leave the next morning, ones that won't stop asking to go on dates, even one I had to threaten with a restraining order before he would leave me alone, despite in all cases, it was made very clear that I was not looking for anything more. Except some guys don't get that and just assume that all girls want something more. The only exception was my current boyfriend because I had eye on him before we started sleeping together. Even then, it was almost a year before anything came of it.

UnitedWeStand wrote: »

I'm exactly the same to be honest. I'm 22 at the moment and just came out of a three year relationship. Maybe this has influenced me and instead of going from girl to girl during 18-22 I stayed committed. It's a hell of a lot better if you're committed to each other, and screw insecurity etc if your future girlfriends had a multitude of **** up her that will play with your mind in terms of intimacy mainly all before say doubts pop in before you stack up. You need a healthy sex life at least in the beginning parts of a relationship if it's gonna go anywhere.

In the girl I plan to settle down with I would preferably want two or less. That way she has dignity, doesn't sell herself out, and by doing that her body and her as a whole looks a lot more attractive. Plus you don't have to worry about STD'S either.

Eh wut? Also, you do know that you don't have to worry about STDs if they test clean... and that you're still not safe, even if you've had only one partner...

strobe

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Women that have one night stands are being used purely for sexual pleasure by the man and are seen as nothing but a sex object and then tossed aside for the next man that comes along. If a woman's okay with that and knows it then more power to her.

Can women enjoy sex and one night stands? Obviously. But don't forget that most men engaging in them do not give a single sh!t about the woman once they've used them for what they wanted and got.

You have quite a negative way of viewing ONS's, have you ever had any out of curiosity?

While I didn't love deeply girls I've had ONS's with (or them me, I'm sure), I certainly liked most of them, to a lesser or greater degree, and while quite a few I would have never seen again (others I became friends with or ended up in a relationship with), I certainly gave a single sh1t, maybe even two or three sh1ts about them, as I do most of the people I meet and like and make some sort of a connection (sexual or not, brief and insubstantial or a little more than that) with.