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New Flatmate has child - but hasn't told me yet. How do I approach?
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07-10-2014 4:08pm#1
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Openness is always better. I'd mention the car sun visor rather than the facebook stalking though.
Ha yes, I was definitely going to go down the Sun visor route, rather than looking like a complete weirdo!
Ok great, that's what I thought, That I should just mention it straight away. A lot of my friends seem to think it would be better to play dumb and say nothing. That doesn't sit that easily with me, I would rather get it out in the open I think.0 -
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She's entirely within her rights. She's renting to a single person who she thought would be compatible with her lifestyle. That's completely different to a tenant with a small baby staying at weekends and crawling around the communal areas.
Who has said anything about the baby staying and lifestyle choices
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How did you come to the conclusion that the child is staying at weekends?
It's not a conclusion, it's a scenario. The OP doesn't know yet as she hasn't talked to the tenant but it's a possible scenario.
I don't think that the child will be staying as I'd imagine any tenant would mention this but you never know, people are weird
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Op you need to sit down with your new flatmate and see what exactly his situation is in a friendly non confrontational manner just a friendly chat ,
Would there be an issue with person having the child in the flat during a day time .
Or are you strictly no kids full stop in the flat .
There's various scenarios here ,
if he's only staying long enough for him to get rent supplements ie he might only need 6 months in the flat .(that's if he's not in employment) .
He's an unmarried father who might or might not be going through the courts for access .
He might only take the child a few hours here and there .
One questioned the type of person he might be but you met and talked to him before selecting him as your flat mate so he can't be that bad .
A friendly chat over a cuppa will allow you to make a more informed decision .
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Indeed, it is a possible scenario. And there nothing wrong with the OP having a chat.It's not a conclusion, it's a scenario. The OP doesn't know yet as she hasn't talked to the tenant but it's a possible scenario.
I don't think that the child will be staying as I'd imagine any tenant would mention this but you never know, people are weird
My concern was that the way the OP phrased the issue, it seemed that her problem was with the flatmate having a child (without getting her permission beforehand to have a child) rather than a particular concern about the child being in the apartment.0 -
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Mrs OBumble wrote: »It may be illegal, but I would have no qualms about age discriminating in who my housemates had to stay regularly.
An occasional visit from a child who's 8+ is vastly different from a regular stay from a child who still needs to use a car seat.
Kids, especially babies / toddlers, need to be kids. They scream, throw food, projectile vomit, and have toilet accidents. They have toys that get scattered, and they run around the house. They draw on walls, play with pots and pan, and hide stuff in the house for fun. Part of the deal of being a parent is that you get to deal with this. But it's totally not part of the deal of being a housemate - unless it's discussed and freely agreed beforehand.
IMHO.
Adults do exactly all the above on a stupidly regular basis too
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