Worried about my 2 year olds behaviour

SupaDupaFly

Hi everyone. 


Hoping someone out there has some ideas for me regarding my 2 year old boy. He turned two last month and in the last two weeks I have seen huge changes in his behaviour. Sorry this is long winded.


He started creche two evenings a week, three weeks ago, just to socialise with other kids and gain some independence away from the family home. 

He settled in quite well but there are some inconsistencies in creche which I have an issue with, high number of different workers in contact with him etc.


Before creche he was sleeping from 8 to 8 and napping an an hour every day. Since creche this has stopped. He will rarely nap and he is sleeping (uneasily) from 8 until 4 or 5 and crying, coughing and trying to make himself sick to get out of his bed. 


Long story short night times are now a disaster. He now says no to everything, no to food, no to going in the car, no to just about anything. He slaps me, shrieks and is just plain trying to push my buttons. 


I'm not really looking for advice on how to deal with his tantrums etc. I'm just wondering do you think this is just him reaching the terrible twos? Or could something else be triggering this behaviour? In the back of my mind I'm beginning to worry that something in creche is affecting him. He just seems so much sadder than his usual self although he says he has good fun at creche. 


Sorry if this post is all over the place. I am just feeling a bit lost and so worried about the whole thing. 


If anyone has experienced anything similar I'd love to hear from you,


Thanks 

Gee_G

SupaDupaFly wrote: »

Hi everyone. 


Hoping someone out there has some ideas for me regarding my 2 year old boy. He turned two last month and in the last two weeks I have seen huge changes in his behaviour. Sorry this is long winded.


He started creche two evenings a week, three weeks ago, just to socialise with other kids and gain some independence away from the family home. 

He settled in quite well but there are some inconsistencies in creche which I have an issue with, high number of different workers in contact with him etc.


Before creche he was sleeping from 8 to 8 and napping an an hour every day. Since creche this has stopped. He will rarely nap and he is sleeping (uneasily) from 8 until 4 or 5 and crying, coughing and trying to make himself sick to get out of his bed. 


Long story short night times are now a disaster. He now says no to everything, no to food, no to going in the car, no to just about anything. He slaps me, shrieks and is just plain trying to push my buttons. 


I'm not really looking for advice on how to deal with his tantrums etc. I'm just wondering do you think this is just him reaching the terrible twos? Or could something else be triggering this behaviour? In the back of my mind I'm beginning to worry that something in creche is affecting him. He just seems so much sadder than his usual self although he says he has good fun at creche. 


Sorry if this post is all over the place. I am just feeling a bit lost and so worried about the whole thing. 


If anyone has experienced anything similar I'd love to hear from you,


Thanks 

You were obviously happy with the creche considering you chose it, but what do you think of it now?
It could be just him settling in and finding it a little bit unsettling. I put my little man into creche at 16/17 months for two mornings a week and it took him about 2months to settle in properly. He loved it when he was there but not going in, but after that initial settling in, he now loves it and sometimes doesnt want to come home
Also, another thing ive noticed about my little boy.... Twice or three times i changed his creche time to the afternoon and he was so wound up and just bouncing off the walls when he'd get home at 6 that he wouldn't go to bed or sleep that night!!

Sorry I'm not much help. I do think it takes them a while to settle in but you know your baby best and whether they're happy or not x

Rubberchikken

I wouldn't like the high turnover of staff looking after him. Imo kids that age can find that unsettling.
I'm not getting at you, but if you're not truly happy with the place and he doesn't need to go there, coukd you consider taking him out pr finding a new place?

SupaDupaFly

Gee_G wrote: »

You were obviously happy with the creche considering you chose it, but what do you think of it now?
It could be just him settling in and finding it a little bit unsettling. I put my little man into creche at 16/17 months for two mornings a week and it took him about 2months to settle in properly. He loved it when he was there but not going in, but after that initial settling in, he now loves it and sometimes doesnt want to come home
Also, another thing ive noticed about my little boy.... Twice or three times i changed his creche time to the afternoon and he was so wound up and just bouncing off the walls when he'd get home at 6 that he wouldn't go to bed or sleep that night!!

Sorry I'm not much help. I do think it takes them a while to settle in but you know your baby best and whether they're happy or not x

To be honest I'm not that happy with the creche. I've brought up my issues with the manager but they haven't been really rectified. I was lead to believe it would always be the same two girls in his room, and one relief staff but he has honestly been looked after by about 7 different people in the three weeks. One girl has been consistent.

I don't have the problem of him being hyped up after creche he is the opposite, very tired and wanting to just relax when he comes home. It's just all this new behaviour. He spits food and water now, and is acting kinda aggressive which is really not his style.

Thanks for the input Gee g. I was putting it down to him just settling in but if it will change his behaviour this much I'm seriously thinking about pulling him out even though he cries to go there.

Very confused first time Mam here. Just want to do what's right by him.

elaney

I wouldn't be happy either with the high turnover of staff but it could also be a case of him settling in. My monkey is the exact same as your fella the last few weeks. She is slapping , biting and just being a proper terror. I know from experience that it does end though. Also reguarding the napping she only naps maybe two to three times a week now for me. I hope he settles for you soon .

SupaDupaFly

Rubberchikken wrote: »

I wouldn't like the high turnover of staff looking after him. Imo kids that age can find that unsettling.
I'm not getting at you, but if you're not truly happy with the place and he doesn't need to go there, coukd you consider taking him out pr finding a new place?

Thanks for your reply. I'm of the same opinion as yourself to be honest, it's confusing for me so can only imagine how confusing it is for him.
In a way my gut is yelling me to pull him. There are no other creches locally so that's the only reason I'm hesitant to do this. Plus the fact that he cries to go here.

I just don't know what's right to do anymore. His dad and I have been chewing over it all week and still have come to no conclusions. If this new behaviour is just him hitting the terrible twos then I will feel bad if I pull him out.

Sorry for the rant. It's great to get outsiders opinions.

monflat

I'm experiencing the very same with my 2yr old at the moment. She used to b such an easygoing child now it's like something possesses her.
The screeching the roaring whinging and bawling is unnatural!
She used to ask to go to bed wave night night and sleep for 12 hrs solid.
She used to do d same for her daytime naps
No more happening!!

She won't lead nor drive.
Won't eat.
Won't leave on her clothes
Won't put them on when it's time to put them on!


The thing that "changed " everything is the birth of her now 6 wk old brother.

So she is totally put out by this change.

So possibly your little lad can't cope too well with change or the changing staff in.the crèche.

His security is knocked out a bit.

Also a mix of the terrible twos thrown in in my suitation

SupaDupaFly

elaney wrote: »

I wouldn't be happy either with the high turnover of staff but it could also be a case of him settling in. My monkey is the exact same as your fella the last few weeks. She is slapping , biting and just being a proper terror. I know from experience that it does end though. Also reguarding the napping she only naps maybe two to three times a week now for me. I hope he settles for you soon .

Thanks elaney, great to hear that you have experienced something similar.

The staff is a big issue for me. It doesn't appear to affect him but it really grates on me. I just don't want to do the wrong thing and pull him if it's just a phase he is going through.

I thought the worst stage was over, how wrong was I! ðŸ˜

Gee_G

SupaDupaFly wrote: »

Thanks for your reply. I'm of the same opinion as yourself to be honest, it's confusing for me so can only imagine how confusing it is for him.
In a way my gut is yelling me to pull him. There are no other creches locally so that's the only reason I'm hesitant to do this. Plus the fact that he cries to go here.

I just don't know what's right to do anymore. His dad and I have been chewing over it all week and still have come to no conclusions. If this new behaviour is just him hitting the terrible twos then I will feel bad if I pull him out.

Sorry for the rant. It's great to get outsiders opinions.

Im a first time Mammy here and the Mammy guilt for putting them into creche on the first place is huge, never mind if you're not 100% happy.
My advice would be to go with your gut. Not nice having your little man out of sorta.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

SupaDupaFly

monflat wrote: »

I'm experiencing the very same with my 2yr old at the moment. She used to b such an easygoing child now it's like something possesses her.
The screeching the roaring whinging and bawling is unnatural!
She used to ask to go to bed wave night night and sleep for 12 hrs solid.
She used to do d same for her daytime naps
No more happening!!

She won't lead nor drive.
Won't eat.
Won't leave on her clothes
Won't put them on when it's time to put them on!


The thing that "changed " everything is the birth of her now 6 wk old brother.

So she is totally put out by this change.

So possibly your little lad can't cope too well with change or the changing staff in.the crèche.

His security is knocked out a bit.

Also a mix of the terrible twos thrown in in my suitation

Oh monflat I feel your pain. It like someone has just swapped my child. Thanks for your very honest input. It makes alot of sense that a new sibling would bring massive change and there would be repercussions. It must obviously be the change of going to creche that is affecting my son.

I can deal with the behaviour, as tiresome as it gets, but the lack of sleep I cannot deal with. I'min zombie mode going around. The question is, is the creche negatively impacting him?
A new sibling obviously cannot be helped! But attending creche to socialise two evenings a week is not really that necessary, do you think I should pull the plug?
Thanks again

elaney

To be honest and this is just my opinion but if i found the staff constantly changing in my child's creche and you feel his behaviour has changed so dramatically in that time especially the sleeping i would take my child out but its up to you and your gut. Maybe give him another week or two and if nothing changes especially the sleeping i would consider taking him out.

January

I'd take him out of creche and see if that makes a change (might take a couple of nights) if it does then it was the creche (you can always pay for a week or two more to keep the spot open if it doesn't and you're confident it wasn't the creche causing the issue).

It's just too much of a coincidence for it to be anything else.

monflat

Maybe wait a while longer and see if you could put him somewhere to socialise.
Is there any other playgroups you could go to.?

It's a hard enough time to be two so if you onlyhave a place for him in the crèche for him to mix with others I'd leave it another few months.

Then try again maybe!

SupaDupaFly

January wrote: »

I'd take him out of creche and see if that makes a change (might take a couple of nights) if it does then it was the creche (you can always pay for a week or two more to keep the spot open if it doesn't and you're confident it wasn't the creche causing the issue).

It's just too much of a coincidence for it to be anything else.

I think I'm gonna have to take him out. It just makes sense that it us causing the problem. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't just a terrible twos issue. Thank for your input

IvyTheTerrible

I would be worried about the high turnover also.

In saying that, when my son started crèche he loved it but it really unsettled his sleeping pattern - he did not nap during the day AT ALL for the first two months, it took him a good while to settle into a routine.

sari

There is so many other ways you can socialise your child and help him gain independence without crèche. If he doesn't need to go I don't understand why you would send him, not judging jut saying I don't undertand.
Also at 2 yrs I don't think children can or should be so independent. It's clear that crèche is having a negative impact on him.
Why not try out some parent child classes, organise play dates, don't be afraid to talk to other parents or children at the park and encourage children to play togwther

SupaDupaFly

My toddler has seriously taken a turn for the worst. He woke screaming at twelve o clock. Is complaining of a sore bum. He has no nappy rash, no redness, nothing. He tried to rip the nappy off and I've brought him into our bed. Since then he is literally turning and twisting and sitting up every three seconds while he is fast asleep. Kicking his legs, arching his back. I'm so worried. I am honestly terrified that there is something seriously wrong or something has happened him. He has never ever done this. Doctor first thing in the morning.

jopax

SupaDupaFly wrote: »

My toddler has seriously taken a turn for the worst. He woke screaming at twelve o clock. Is complaining of a sore bum. He has no nappy rash, no redness, nothing. He tried to rip the nappy off and I've brought him into our bed. Since then he is literally turning and twisting and sitting up every three seconds while he is fast asleep. Kicking his legs, arching his back. I'm so worried. I am honestly terrified that there is something seriously wrong or something has happened him. He has never ever done this. Doctor first thing in the morning.

Hi there, definitely doctor is good idea, just to let you know, I went through something similar with my two year old and it turned out to be pinworms.

SupaDupaFly

jopax wrote: »

Hi there, definitely doctor is good idea, just to let you know, I went through something similar with my two year old and it turned out to be pinworms.

Thanks jopax,
Waiting on doc to open. Oh I really hope it's something as simple as that. Thanks for reply

Neyite

Could just be constipation too. I'm sure its something simple like that and hopefully easily rectified.

My two year old loves creche, but he does have days where he doesnt want to leave the house (dont we all!) or gets clingy at drop off. He is quiet some days and quite docile for his usual stubborn self but those are the days where they were playing outside and lots of other activities and he is happy with quieter playtime - watching a cartoon or reading a book in the evening.

When changing rooms in the creche, he got a little clingy, wanted to bring his teddy or other comfort toys with him, but once he settled in he was fine again. It does take time to settle - even for us if we were starting a new job we would probably sleep less well and worry a little more until we found our feet.

Pablodreamsofnew

I think 2yr is too young for a creache in my opinion if you don't have to have them there!! We have our little lad enrolled for preschool when he is 3yrs and 9mnts a year before he starts school. At two they can socialize at the playground, mother and toddler groups and with cousins etc. My son is an only child and he loves other people so we are outside with him alot.

aristotle25

SupaDupaFly wrote: »

Before creche he was sleeping from 8 to 8 and napping an an hour every day. Since creche this has stopped. He will rarely nap and he is sleeping (uneasily) from 8 until 4 or 5 and crying, coughing and trying to make himself sick to get out of his bed.

Long story short night times are now a disaster. He now says no to everything, no to food, no to going in the car, no to just about anything. He slaps me, shrieks and is just plain trying to push my buttons.

Our 2.2 year old is at home full time and also had this change in behaviour. Tantrums, saying no, shrieking, wont nap during the days etc.

He is at home full time however so we put it down to the terrible two's. Also when he is tired it is worse so maybe the lack of naps and bad night sleeps are making the whole thing worse.

I am not saying the crèche is not the problem but it also might be just the age thing.

Vel

Our daughter turned 2 on Wednesday. She has been going to creche two days a week since she was 1. In the past couple of weeks she has firmly entered the 'terrible twos'. We have screaming, hitting and all sorts of behaviour that wasn't happening a few weeks ago. It sounds to me like it could be a combination of things with your child, including the age that they are at, but certainly don't rule out the fact that part of it may be that he is not settled in creche