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Step son wants to stay with me (divorce)

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  • 11-10-2014 11:15pm
    #1
    Jurga78
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭


    Hi all
    I have a situation which is driving me insane...
    Me and my partner are separating , we're nor married.
    My son from my previous marriage lives with us, we have a daughter together and this summer his son (age 17) moved in with us.
    Now obviously my two children are staying with me. Me and my partner asked his 17 y.o. son where he want's to live, and he said he wants to live with me, not his father... That is so strange... because he moved in with us for he loved his dad so much (he was living with his grandparents). Did we make a mistake by asking him? Now his father feels betrayed and miserable... I'm in a light panic of raising 3 kids on my own. Is it even legal ? I am not his mother, nor his relative...


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    #2
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    It's legal, he can live with who he wants and asking him was probably a mistake but he probably wants to stay with his sibling(s, he probably considers your son a sibling now too). He'll be legal next year and your ex will still have to pay maintenence if he's in full time education.


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    #3
    Jurga78
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Jurga78


    On one hand I understand that he will probably feel more secure and looked after living with me, on the other hand it's his dad for crying out loud ...


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    #4
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    I know, but... you both asked! You should have been aware that living with you would be a probable answer and how his dad would have felt about that.


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    #5
    Jurga78
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Jurga78


    yeah, a mistake :/ and actually we thought he will choose his dad... Now we have what we have.
    Well I'm not the only single parent on Earth, thank God for the job I have... as I don't trust men in regards of maintenance. One month they pay, another they don't...
    Just need to calm my anxiety down :/


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    #6
    sillysmiles
    Registered Users Posts: 1,170 ✭✭✭sillysmiles


    He's 17, so assumedly in 5th or 6th year in school. He is in a stable home with his siblings. Why would he want to move to the unknown.
    Maybe when your ex gets sorted and set up, he will want to move with him again, but for the moment I can totally understand why he wants to stay where he is, than commit to moving to an uncertain future.


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    #7
    Jurga78
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Jurga78


    sillysmiles, thank's. It is simple, we (breaking up couple) exaggerate everything...
    We had another talk, the child is staying with me; sometimes we forget to put the needs of a child first, I'm glad we remembered that in time. He's actually in a TY, we're not Irish so he got held back.
    I just hope I'll manage. Being a step-mother is still a new thing for me and being a lone parent will add up.


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    #8
    goz83
    Registered Users Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭goz83


    Fair play to you for taking him on. I hope it works out for you all.


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