Your Fantasy Budget. After Hours style

IvaBigWun

In an ideal world

I'd introduce a €500 levy for anyone showing up at a hospital A&E as a result of being drunk and disorderly. If they cant afford to pay it then it comes out of their Social Welfare or wages weekly till the bill is settled.

A 70% tax bracket for anyone making more than €200k a year.

All political positions capped at €75k a year, including expenses and including the Taoiseach.

You?

catallus

No income tax for a year.

mikeym

A Dennis O'Brien Tax!

solomafioso

IvaBigWun wrote: »

All political positions capped at €75k a year, including expenses and including the Taoiseach.

Exactly what I was going to post.

biko

Fire all politicians and let Philosopher Kings rule, like Plato suggested all those years ago.

Slunk

IvaBigWun wrote: »

In an ideal world

I'd introduce a €500 levy for anyone showing up at a hospital A&E as a result of being drunk and disorderly. If they cant afford to pay it then it comes out of their Social Welfare weekly.

A 70% tax bracket for anyone making more than €200k a year.

All political positions capped at €75k a year, including expenses and including the Taoiseach.

You?

What if your drunk and are attack at random? I think the 8 hour wait is punishment enough.

catallus

Our pols are worth more than that.

joe swanson

Just put up a link to Sinn feins website or any of the loony left. There's real fantasy stuff there.

IvaBigWun

Slunk wrote: »

What if your drunk and are attack at random? I think the 8 hour wait is punishment enough.

I said drunk and disorderly

I'd put up cigarette duty to 50 euros a pack, and I'd make public drunkenness a criminal offence with a mandatory fine AND prison sentence. Urinating in public ditto.

I'd make a failure to say 'Please' and 'Thank You' subject to large on-the-spot fines, and it would be the same for failing to hold the door open for the elderly, incapacitated or infirm.

The world would be a much nicer and safer place.

0byme75341jo28

Getting rid of the TV license.

IvaBigWun

catallus wrote: »

No income tax for a year.

I said "fantasy" not "LaLa Land"

dr.bollocko

This is after hours so no more dole, fire all the politicians, kick out all the foreigners, everyone gets a free gun and people who stay in the overtaking lane without overtaking get blown up by missiles. all drug users and farmers will be killed and it's all presented by somebody in a nice low cut top.

Real answer - stop squeezing the middle so hard. Some of us want to stay here.

Afroshack

Fines of 1,000 + for anyone caught being severely drunk and disorderly in the streets (picking fights etc, not just falling over a bit tipsy) which go straight to funding the police force. I'd cap politicians at 80K, normal TD's should take home the average industrial wage (30K)

Scrap half of the medical cards out there and bring in a flat fee of 15 euro for a GP appointment or a membership-style fee of 100euro a year per family in a GP surgery.

Double the budgets for health and education, but bring in much stricter targets in terms of patients on waiting lists being seen and schools improving standards, especially in Literacy.

I'd actually keep the 3,500 it costs per year for college, but introduce student loan schemes so help them pay it off gradually, and not until they are earning over 20K a year. I'd pump that extra cash into other sectors of education - like falling literacy rates, IT training and proper Physical Education classes (not just running around a field like we already do) I'd keep the grants and install maybe 50-100 scholarships per major university across all fields (especially IT, languages and science)

Raise tax on petrol and high-fat foods (sorry) but build a proper Metro like the undergrounds in London and Berlin and remove the tax on bikes.

Reduce the prison population by having prisoners do community work in their local area over the course of a year (repairs, painting, mending, even mentoring younger kids etc) Take the extra money and invest heavily in tourism.

Sir Arthur Daley

Rise everything, wages, fuel, water charges and beer.

Davarus Walrus

IvaBigWun wrote: »

All political positions capped at €75k a year, including expenses and including the Taoiseach.

You?

Why would anyone become a politican then? You'd get more working for a semi-state. €75k? To deal with constituents? Let's not forget that the majority of the electorate are complete fcuking arseholes, with a belief that there is an infinite supply of money. I wouldn't do it for 200k.

catallus

I wish someone would squeeze my middle

Wompa1

IvaBigWun wrote: »

A 70% tax bracket for anyone making more than €200k a year.

Why would anyone ever aspire to the highest level possible in the country? Or why would those who make more than that stay if that was introduced?

mikeym

If you raise tax on Petrol/Diesel everything goes up.

Ever heard of inflation.

The Backwards Man

I'd half all taxes in all counties with an Atlantic coastline and double all taxes in counties without.

In the interests of tourism like.

veryangryman

Skirt tax. Shorter the skirt the shorter the tax!

IvaBigWun

Davarus Walrus wrote: »

€75k? To deal with constituents?

A nurse gets (maybe) half that to put up with at least 5 times as much shíte.

131spanner

Air tax. Meter everyone's air intake and tax the beJaysus out of them.*

*Reduced rate for job seekers and elderly.

mickydoomsux

Hat tax.

Different tax bands for different types of hats. You know it makes sense. It's crazy we haven't got one already.

Menas

Full reform of politicians expenses and pension entitlements.
Full reform of all civil service allowances.
Start planning for what happens when haddington road expires, in particular with regard to automatic increments and their link to performance ratings...where those ratings show 99.4% of civil servants are doing an acceptable or better job and thus entitled to increments.
Rename 'carbon tax' as just 'tax'. Stop pulling the wool over our eyes.
Produce a plan to revert our tax regime to something similar to what we had in 2008.
Start with moving the higher tax threshold to a higher figure.
Revert spending cuts that have impacted on carers and those with special needs.
Extend the section 481 scheme.
Lower vat on new residential buildings to the same as the UK. ie 0.
etc

mickydoomsux

Make public sector/semi-state employees pay 100% tax because they are clearly intrinsically evil and shure they are all related anyway.

Glock Lesnar

Next budget should

Declare a socialist 32 county republic
90% tax bracket for those earning 50,000 or upwards
250€ allowance for those who regularly read an phoblact
Leave the EU
Remove levies on alcohol and cigarettes
All social welfare and allowances are doubled
Appoint a high inquisitor to hunt down and punish 'the bankers'

Glock Lesnar

They should also pass a law that makes sure you can only hire people that you've never ever heard of ever.

sassyj

This is After Hours, and no one has suggested a special tax allowance for coke n' hookers???? Letting yourselves down lads.

IvaBigWun

Glock Lesnar wrote: »

90% tax bracket for those earning 50,000 or upwards

Is that missing a zero?

mickydoomsux

Glock Lesnar wrote: »

Next budget should

Declare a socialist 32 county republic
90% tax bracket for those earning 50,000 or upwards
250€ allowance for those who regularly read an phoblact
Leave the EU
Remove levies on alcohol and cigarettes
All social welfare and allowances are doubled
Appoint a high inquisitor to hunt down and punish 'the bankers'

You forgot the €5000 fine for not "Irish"-ing your surname.

wretcheddomain

• That the Dáil introduces forced labour in a concentration camp onto those who are on social welfare for more than 5 years.

They're only permitted to escape the cycle of forced labour if:

• They decide to permanently emigrate to another country with no right of return
  
• Are willing to commit to a policy of voluntary suicide

Turtyturd

Beard tax on trendy beards. If you wanna look stupid pay the price.

GalwayGirl26

Social welfare reduced by 10% each year you claim it.
Raise tax on ciggerettes.
Get rid of USC.

Tarzana

Afroshack wrote: »

Raise tax on high-fat foods (sorry)

Misinformed - you'd be unfairly taxing a lot of healthy foodstuffs. High sugar content is far more of a scourge.

Wompa1

I don't know the first thing about it...we don't see the books in fairness, but to play into the speculation of it all. Here we go:

I would tax the dole and cut it off after 3 years

I would lower income tax for everybody working...

I would raise the minimum wage...

I would re-introduce a small tax on bets and also tax any large winnings e.g. over 10k

I would plan a strategy to ensure the EU funding being received is spread across the country.

I would cap the pay for politicians and make all forms of private donations directly to a politician illegal with a mandatory minimum prison sentence.

I would introduce a nominal fee for primary and secondary school and invest in revamping education at those levels. Having performance reviews for teachers with actual action taken after them, training teachers in technology and ensuring there's a strict curriculum being followed through all subjects. I would also ensure there's more focus on teaching the downside of alcohol from a young age.

I would lower the price of fees for certain college courses dependent on the need for qualified people and raise the fees for fields like Arts, History, Philosophy, Psychology...basically the soft sciences and 'creative' courses.

I would increase tax on alcohol in pubs and shops. I would increase the price of cigarettes. I would legalize marijuana and prostitution (hookers walking the streets would still be illegal) and I would tax the ever living ****e out of them too and have them heavily regulated.

I would mandate that drink and drug screenings are brought into the employment process for public sector....with a view of this becoming norm for the private sector too to introduce 'random' testing if desired. It would create jobs at the drug screening centers and might stop a few people from showing up after lunch high as a kite or p1ssed as a fart the next morning. A possible increase in productivity.

I would sell RTE 2 and 2FM and spin TG4 into an optional language...you pick to watch the programming in English or Irish. Sports would be aired on TG4, along with most of the original scripted television shows. I would also break up the cartel of agencies that currently have the 'in' with RTE.

I would introduce boot camps for young offenders. A previous proposal by Fine Gael that never came to fruition. Might help stamp out underage drinking and those jackeen f**kers who go around beating people up unprovoked.

I would pay out on the contracts of the third party entities that currently operate the tolls on some of our motor ays and directly hire people to work in them.

I would refund anybody that bought the 25 euro certificate of Irish Heritage and instead offer them actual citizenship, that was embarrassing.

I would drop the property tax on homes occupied by people over 65 years of age.

I would cut the single parents allowances significantly and hire auditors to look at most forms of benefits to ensure they are legit. These auditors would also review the PPS.

Council housing would become much, much more limited.

I'd put a tax on mobile phones...not because of Joan Burton but previously there was an idea floated about throwing on a 1 cent tax on a text message which I think is a good idea but then how could you apply that to free text promotions...it would put an end to them which is crap. A one time tax each time you pay a phone..on top of VAT obviously.

I'd raise the cost of a dogs license and use the money to try to combat all those b@stards that don't pick up after their dogs and maybe get more kill shelters to turn into no kill shelters. And also to close down more breeders and to provide free neutering services...so there'd be less need to kill the poor feckers.

The current processing for Asylum Seekers would be revised. Leaving them waiting for 7 years is helping nobody.

I'd work to drop the costs of flying into Ireland from other countries. I'd look at the different tourist attractions and determine if there's a better way to promote or display them...

I'd make Irish optional in secondary school and drop the Irish requirement for jobs and Universities.

I would also ensure anybody who goes to prison with multiple previous convictions will need to work while in there, to help them get experience and also to earn their stay

I'd also charge full tuition to anybody who goes back to college if the person had completed multiple post grads or undergrads already.

Tarzana

GalwayGirl26 wrote: »

Get rid of USC.

Amen, sister.

Thank fcuk the OP isn't in charge.

0byme75341jo28

GalwayGirl26 wrote: »

Social welfare reduced by 10% each year you claim it.

I presume you mean people on the dole?

tomwaterford

IvaBigWun wrote: »

In an ideal world

I'd introduce a €500 levy for anyone showing up at a hospital A&E as a result of being drunk and disorderly. If they cant afford to pay it then it comes out of their Social Welfare weekly.

A 70% tax bracket for anyone making more than €200k a year.

All political positions capped at €75k a year, including expenses and including the Taoiseach.

You?

what if there working and cant afford to pay??

0byme75341jo28

tomwaterford wrote: »

what if there working and cant afford to pay??

Shhhh, only the proles get drunk and disorderly.

Chucken

Deleted User wrote: »

Thank fcuk the OP isn't in charge.

You're in charge!

I'd make it illegal to get out of bed before 11am in Winter. Anyone not adhering to my new policy will pay me a fine of a load of good black turf.

Clandestine

-No Income tax
-No social welfare
-No minimum wage
-Private most governments services like the postal service
-Legalize all drugs + all victimless crimes
-Scrap all extra taxes on cigarettes + alcohol
-Abolish immigration laws
-Abolish all discrimination laws
-Privatise the roads
-Scrap water charges + property tax

A man can dream.....

Wompa1

Clandestine wrote: »

-No Income tax
-No social welfare
-No minimum wage
-Private most governments services like the postal service
-Legalize all drugs + all victimless crimes
-Scrap all extra taxes on cigarettes + alcohol
-Abolish immigration laws
-Abolish all discrimination laws
-Privatise the roads
-Scrap water charges + property tax

A man can dream.....

What a recipe for disaster!

The Backwards Man

No income tax, no VAT
No money back, no guarantee
Black or white, rich or broke
We'll cut taxes at a stroke

Clandestine

Wompa1 wrote: »

What a recipe for disaster!

I don't think so, but we won't see most of these come into effect while I'm still alive. Give it 200/300 years and we'll see.

IvaBigWun

Deleted User wrote: »

Thank fcuk the OP isn't in charge.

Lol.

Why?

foggy_lad

a special €450,000 bet registration tax on all sulkys and new law that any horses killed in races must be eaten by all those driving them.

Fags to rise to €20/20pack and anyone found selling or importing illegal tobacco or other counterfeit goods to have all assets seized immediately and no further entitlement to any state money for any reason or venture.

All gardai to be re-issued batons and ordered to use them at every appropriate opportunity.

€1000 drunk tax for all attending A&E while drunk and disorderly, anyone on welfare payments doesn't pay but loses all payments for themselves and any family for a month.

Anyone with the arse hanging out of their skinny jeans to have it beaten to a pulp by prisoners in the nearest prison wielding cricket bats!

MRnotlob606

Whats all this about squeezing the middle ? are the people at the bottom of the pile driving around in mercs or something ?

tomwaterford

foggy_lad wrote: »

a special €450,000 bet registration tax on all sulkys and new law that any horses killed in races must be eaten by all those driving them.

Fags to rise to €20/20pack and anyone found selling or importing illegal tobacco or other counterfeit goods to have all assets seized immediately and no further entitlement to any state money for any reason or venture.

All gardai to be re-issued batons and ordered to use them at every appropriate opportunity.

€1000 drunk tax for all attending A&E while drunk and disorderly, anyone on welfare payments doesn't pay but loses all payments for themselves and any family for a month.

that seems fair:pac:

all those getting childrens allowance count as receiving welfare aswel like

knucklehead6

I love these 'victimless' crimes. A guy scams an insurance company and no one cares cos it's a victimless crime. Apart from the guy who retired after 45 years service and has been paying into a pension fund for all that time... A pension fund that had invested in the insurance company. The insurance company that now has to pay reduced dividends, which means that our straight up guy, who has just retired sees his pension fund reduced by a bit.

But yep, it's a victimless crime.