Sitter or Stander

Andy-Pandy

So, after 37 years of wiping my ass standing up, i decided this week to try it sitting down. Excuse the pun but "Holy ****", mind blown, how the hell have i not thought of this before, so much better. It then occurred to me that i had never been taught how to do it, and if im honest it never crossed my mind to do it sitting down. Am I the only one? Its never even come up in conversation and i have no idea what the norm is.

akelly02

Andy-Pandy wrote: »

So, after 37 years of wiping my ass standing up, i decided this week to try it sitting down. Excuse the pun but "Holy ****", mind blown, how the hell have i not thought of this before, so much better. It then occurred to me that i had never been taught how to do it, and if im honest it never crossed my mind to do it sitting down. Am I the only one? Its never even come up in conversation and i have no idea what the norm is.

You my friend, need treatment.

fleet_admiral

W t f

antodeco

More importantly, do you wipe up or down?

Up, it goes up your back.

Down, it lands on your shoe

Scarinae

Do you poo standing up as well? Or do you sit for that, and then stand up to wipe? Either way, very inefficient

Ghost Buster

Is this in any way associated to the 'Standing up to your teacher' thread?

ian87

37 years of having the the itchiest hole ever too I'd imagine? Dangle berry central was it?

Ted_YNWA

antodeco wrote: »

More importantly, do you wipe up or down?

Up, it goes up your back.

Down, it lands on your shoe

I just do a hand-stand in the shower.

Nunu

Ok, next question...for the blokes...who pees sitting down?

Andy-Pandy

ian87 wrote: »

37 years of having the the itchiest hole ever too I'd imagine? Dangle berry central was it?

No, im very clean, but i have to admit its not as efficient. My old method involved spreading a cheek first, then wiping.

fleet_admiral

ian87 wrote: »

37 years of having the the itchiest hole ever too I'd imagine? Dangle berry central was it?

Oh id say a right wasps nest

Ghost Buster

Nunu wrote: »

Ok, next question...for the blokes...who pees sitting down?

I do at night. I can sleep walk to the bog in the dark, dont turn on any lights, sit, shake, mosey back to bed and straight back to sleep...

darragh_haven

Stander. Definitely CJ Stander. Beast of a game today

lulu1

OP get a bloody life

fleet_admiral

Nunu wrote: »

Ok, next question...for the blokes...who pees sitting down?

I become a peemale once in a while, usually through alcoholic exhaustion

Ghost Buster

lulu1 wrote: »

OP get a bloody life

Everyone does it about twice a day. Its a pretty major part of life.;)

Andy-Pandy

Interesting read here. I am not trying to gross people out, its something i never even thought about till this week.

Banjo String

Ghost Buster wrote: »

I do at night. I can sleep walk to the bog in the dark, dont turn on any lights, sit, shake, mosey back to bed and straight back to sleep...

It's sentences like this that a comma is very important.

(i was gonna slag you for calling your penis "mosey")

corner of hells

Banjo String wrote: »

It's sentences like this that a comma is very important.

(i was gonna stag you for calling your penis "mosey")

Just for a moment you almost had "post of the decade".

Intensive Care Bear

I like to place one foot on the toilet and one on the floor for maximum purchase.

Turtyturd

I go sitting down so I can brush my teeth at the same time.

Multi-tasking FTW.

uch

I Just do it in me pants where ever I fall

Grandeeod

I should not have opened this thread. My curry is ruined. Thank you OP for completely ****ing up my night.

Kevin McCloud

Turtyturd wrote: »

I go sitting down so I can brush my teeth at the same time.

Multi-tasking FTW.

Thats very unhygienic.

uch

Grandeeod wrote: »

I should not have opened this thread. My curry is ruined. Thank you OP for completely ****ing up my night.

But will you eat it with your left or Right Hand

Grandeeod

uch wrote: »

But will you eat it with your left or Right Hand

I ****ed it in the bin because all I could visualise was reams of bog roll covered in sh1te and the colour and texture of the curry was similar albeit tastier.

Thats that so. I wish the runs from satan on the OP. See if he can stand up wiping that off his sore arse.

thelad95

I am also a stander. I don't have a dangleberry problem but an itchy hole is common especially after a Guinness shíte. Might try sitting down next time. It is very annoying standing up in a public jacks to wipe and making eye contact over the door with someone washing their hands. It's happened to me way too often

Ruu

No one gives a ****, hehehehe I made a funny. No not here.

Mod