Five year old and School

LegacyUser

My five year old has been involved in power ranger fighting/pretend fighting at school.
It happens at breaktime today the most recent episode and he was involved in it.
His Teacher says he is the mannered and behaved student in the class while all that is lovely he done this in the playground and I cant understand why.

He is friends with a little lad and my son told me when i asked him why he was doing this pretend fighting he tolf me because his friend wanted him too.
A few weeks ago himself and his friend went into the classroom when it was play time and he blamed his friend then too.
.
He seems to know what he is doing is wrong but cant say to his friend no i dont want to ....
Am i the bad parent in that I cant seem to get it across to him just because his friend wants him to do something doesn't mean he has to do it

byhookorbycrook

No, you're not a bad parent. I'd make sure he doesn't watch any more Power Rangers or similar! He's 5, of course he is going to be said and led by a friend or he may be the one doing the leading!
I would let him know that teacher and you are both on the same page, but a 5 year old doesn't have the best impulse control ever, so even if he is really sorry today, he may well forget tomorrow. Just keep re-enforcing the message with him.

CrazyRabbit

Is anyone getting hurt? Is it just friendly 'roughhousing' or more serious?

Annabananna

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

Is anyone getting hurt? Is it just friendly 'roughhousing' or more

ahappychappy

Boys play fight it is part of their ingrained traits. There is a book - Raising Boys and it goes through why and how they see play fighting/wrestling - I read it as a parent of boys I was a bit lost as to why my very polite clever pup began play fighting and wrestling. I now understand it is part of being a boy and I find ways he can do these things in a safe way.

One thing I did as my boys got older was put a punch bag up in the garage, I also enrolled them in martial arts. They gained skill and more importantly discipline. Furthermore it helped release the energy.

pwurple

Perfectly normal I would have thought? My 3 year old (girl) does play fighting too... as long as they don't hurt anyone it's just another type of play.

There are taekwondo classes for that age that teach control etc. Kicking 'air' rather than other people etc. all about bullying and things. The kids around here do it.

Boom_Bap

My lad is 6 and him and a group of 5 or 6 boys do this pretend fighting in the yard everyday. It's non contact...well, the odd child does get a push or a mistimed punch or kick, but they all seem to be happy enough playing like this. If they start hurting each other on purpose, that's when we will have a problem.
We've started him doing Jiu Jitsu to give him dicipline in the area of 'fighting' and to respect it.

So it's perfectly normal what your boy is doing.

LegacyUser

None been hurt
i don't allow him watch power rangers or ben 10
Today he got into trouble for pushing another child he says that the other child pushed him first the teacher didn't see him push just the other child push mine but he owned up when she started giving out to the other child that he pushed too.
I am just at a loss

happydayz8

Firstly, you are not a bad parent and seconfly what your child is doing is perfectly normal. I found at that age role play to be very beneficial to my son. We would play out those scenarios at home and find different ways of reacting. So play out saying no to the friend. Or if a child pushes him teach him to say: do not push me, in a loud enough but not aggressive tone. For one we had a lot of fun and laughs playing things out but it also made him more aware and gave him different tools to react to situations he may find himself in.

LegacyUser

Hey we did the role play when he started school then this boy torn his jumper and he says now that he been at him off and on since then today he sais he pushed him back to stop him.

Boom_Bap

I would tell your son to change tactic. If the other kid does anything, tell your son to immediately go to the nearest teacher instead of pushing back.

ariana`

I have a son similar age and he was crying going to the school the other day saying the bigger boys were pushing him, now i reckon myself it was accidental, but i couldn't leave him to school crying so we practised 3 approaches: 1. He asks the boy to please not push him, if this doesn't work 2. He goes and plays somewhere else, if this doesn't work or isn't possible (if he wants to stay near his buddies) then no 3. he goes to the supervising teacher and explains. We practised out/role played all three options and he went to school happy again.

If none of these work and its happening all the time i would arrange a meet with the teacher.

It's early days, he's still settling into school and learning the boundaries (he's junior infants i'm guessing if he's 5?).

LegacyUser

Well the change of tactic worked today the boy came up to my son pushed him off a spacehopper landing my son on the tarmac and hand cut.
My son ran and told teacher the teacher washed his hand and bandaged it when i went to pick him up she said he fell and i thought nomore about it till we were driving home and my son told me he didnt fall he was pushed off the spacehopper.
So the teacher didnt tell me what really happened a rang two other parents asked to ask their kids did my son fall today they told same story as my son

byhookorbycrook

Ariana, I would ask them to ask a child to please stop pushing. I would tell your child to tell them "Don't push me." It's putting your child in a stronger and more assertive role.

Some boys really dislike play fighting and rough and tumble, other boys see it as "how we play" so we need to let children know to be aware of others and how they might feel too.

anncoates

Doesn't necessarily mean he wasn't involved in it before and he just came out of it badly. If something happens like that, my son is inclined to minimize his involvement. Not to say that's not definitely the case here obviously.

hardCopy

Am I a bad parent wrote: »

Hey we did the role play when he started school then this boy torn his jumper and he says now that he been at him off and on since then today he sais he pushed him back to stop him.

I honestly see nothing wrong there. Your son is confident and assertive enough to stand up a bully, lots of people spend their lives trying to get to that point.