Honestly now...... What does it for you?

How Soon Is Now · 23-10-2014 4:16am

Lalealea wrote: »

You know what I hate about this threads ? This and the one about men's height?

They are just out to hurt people.....the possibly hundreds of people that read it. Thats all it is drama and negative drama at that. I love drama ..it doesn't have to be hurtful though.

I just think these threads pick a sensitive issue and do it knowing that lots of people reading this are gonna feel it and thats what its about.

Feeding off of pain.

I just don't like it.

Boards goblins.

So you have seen nothing positive in here then?

Lalealea · 23-10-2014 4:19am

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

So you have seen nothing positive in here then?

Sorry apologies I am not in a good place right now at all.

How Soon Is Now · 23-10-2014 4:23am

Lalealea wrote: »

Sorry apologies I am not in a good place right now at all.

Dont need to apologies! :pac:. All im saying is not everyone is talking **** about people in this thread. Actually the whole reason i made it was hoping that maybe it wouldnt be so one sided against people of certain sizes etc. Obviously its not that simple but what is!.

SameDiff · 23-10-2014 6:15am

Lalealea wrote: »

Sorry apologies I am not in a good place right now at all.

Where are you, Limerick?

denhaagenite · 23-10-2014 6:45am

Lalealea wrote: »

You know what I hate about this threads ? This and the one about men's height?

They are just out to hurt people.....the possibly hundreds of people that read it. Thats all it is drama and negative drama at that. I love drama ..it doesn't have to be hurtful though.

I just think these threads pick a sensitive issue and do it knowing that lots of people reading this are gonna feel it and thats what its about.

Feeding off of pain.

I just don't like it.

Boards goblins.

I don't agree. I've been back to Ireland 3 times in the last year and it's the same story every time: "You're looking very thin". I am pretty much the same size as my peers where I live, bigger than some, smaller than others but most importantly I am a healthy weight for my height. I just happen to be smaller than the average Irish woman and smaller than I was when I lived in Ireland.

This isn't because of pressure, this is because the people where I live drink less and move more and because this is normal here I find myself doing the same thing. When I lived in Ireland this wasn't the case but I don't see any reason why it couldn't be. And this isn't some kind of Utopia, I can see weight issues creeping in here too but now I'm aware that for me a BMI of 26+ is not right and that I'm not, in fact, big boned or genetically predisposed to being overweight, I make sure I keep it under control.

It's not hurtful to point out to people that being overweight or underweight is not healthy, it's a fact. We're all adults and I think the sooner we all stop acting like victims and take responsibility for ourselves the better!!

AndreaCollins · 23-10-2014 6:56am

denhaagenite wrote: »

I don't agree. I've been back to Ireland 3 times in the last year and it's the same story every time: "You're looking very thin". I am pretty much the same size as my peers where I live, bigger than some, smaller than others but most importantly I am a healthy weight for my height. I just happen to be smaller than the average Irish woman and smaller than I was when I lived in Ireland.

This isn't because of pressure, this is because the people where I live drink less and move more and because this is normal here I find myself doing the same thing. When I lived in Ireland this wasn't the case but I don't see any reason why it couldn't be. And this isn't some kind of Utopia, I can see weight issues creeping in here too but now I'm aware that for me a BMI of 26+ is not right and that I'm not, in fact, big boned or genetically predisposed to being overweight, I make sure I keep it under control.

It's not hurtful to point out to people that being overweight or underweight is not healthy, it's a fact. We're all adults and I think the sooner we all stop acting like victims and take responsibility for ourselves the better!!

A lot of fat women I know think they are gorgeous anyway and some of them have alright boyfriends. One of my friends is obese but convinced that shes perfectly healthy and there's absolutely no problem.

denhaagenite · 23-10-2014 7:00am

AndreaCollins wrote: »

A lot of fat women I know think they are gorgeous anyway and some of them have alright boyfriends. One of my friends is obese but convinced that shes perfectly healthy and there's absolutely no problem.

So what? Maybe their boyfriends like women who are bigger, maybe they don't care what they look like at all. Maybe they are gorgeous. I know my fella was attracted to me when I was bigger and is now still attracted to me when I'm smaller so I'm guessing it's my joie de vivre and sharp wit he's into, more than the size of my arse.

Shenshen · 23-10-2014 7:59am

AndreaCollins wrote: »

A lot of fat women I know think they are gorgeous anyway and some of them have alright boyfriends. One of my friends is obese but convinced that shes perfectly healthy and there's absolutely no problem.

Well, I am morbidly obese, and according to my GP I'm currently very much in perfect health. Blood pressure is normal, cholesterol is in the green, blood sugar is ok.

The thing about being morbidly obese (and please don't think I'm one of those ladies who have ot wash themselves with a cloth tied to a stick, I'm a size 16) is not that because you're fat, you've got health issues.
The medical side of it is that being fat increases the risk of having health issues at some point in your life. Bit like the fact that a person that smokes doesn't necessarily have cancer. All they have is an increased risk of developping cancer.

So yes, she may well be perfectly healthy now. Does that mean there is no problem? Not yet, but there possibly may well be problems at a later date.
Same as I am at an increased risk of developping certain problems - according to my GP, most likely joint problems. I'm losing weight at the moment, but to be perfectly frank I've got my doubts if that will improve my future health.
While there have been plenty of studies linking obesity to the early onset of certain conditions, there have been to my knowledge no studies to see how losing dozens of kilos will affect your health.

SameDiff · 23-10-2014 8:01am

Shenshen wrote: »

Well, I am morbidly obese, and according to my GP I'm currently very much in perfect health. Blood pressure is normal, cholesterol is in the green, blood sugar is ok.

I suspect your GP is more of an immediate danger to your health than your obesity.

Barely There · 23-10-2014 8:11am

Shenshen wrote: »

, there have been to my knowledge no studies to see how losing dozens of kilos will affect your health.

You hardly have to lose dozens of kilos if you're a size 16.

Shenshen · 23-10-2014 8:11am

SameDiff wrote: »

I suspect your GP is more of an immediate danger to your health than your obesity.

How so? She did all the recommended tests?

cloud493 · 23-10-2014 8:12am

In this hypothetical scenario in which any woman would come near me... slim definitely. Petite.

Shenshen · 23-10-2014 8:12am

Barely There wrote: »

You hardly have to lose dozens of kilos if you're a size 16.

*lol
I've got just under 50 kilos to go before I would be "ideal" weight.

DiegoCosta · 23-10-2014 8:20am

Triangular gap mesmerises me.

SameDiff · 23-10-2014 8:21am

Shenshen wrote: »

How so? She did all the recommended tests?

Of course she did.

It was definitely a doctor's surgery you went to? There wasn't clothes in clear plastic on hangers hanging up by any chance?

Shenshen · 23-10-2014 8:28am

SameDiff wrote: »

Of course she did.

It was definitely a doctor's surgery you went to? There wasn't clothes in clear plastic on hangers hanging up by any chance?

Oh, let me guess, you must be AH's only qualitfied medical professional, right? :rolleyes:

DiegoCosta · 23-10-2014 8:34am

Lalealea wrote: »

I hate this thread. :-(

Judgmental thread ...dieeeee

We are all lovely...

dieeee

Learn to accept yourself and threads like this won't bother you.

It's not specifically the size that attracts most men, it's the proportions and ratios.

Cupcake_Crisis · 23-10-2014 8:39am

That "you can't ride a personality" statement is irritating. Ultimately, if it's beyond a one night stand, you're just as much "riding the personality" of a person. At the end of the day if someone is absurdly gorgeous, but their personality is in the crapper it's going to be very dull indeed. Good connection= good sex.

SameDiff · 23-10-2014 8:41am

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

That "you can't ride a personality" statement is irritating. Ultimately, if it's beyond a one night stand, you're just as much "riding the personality" of a person. At the end of the day if someone is absurdly gorgeous, but their personality is in the crapper it's going to be very dull indeed. Good connection= good sex.

...except if they're as fat as f*ck.

GarIT · 23-10-2014 8:55am

I don't know where on the scale I am because times are changing, a medium in clothes is generally overweight now. Different people have different ideas on what is thin, fat, etc.

Doing it by size though about a 12 is my upper limit.

DiegoCosta · 23-10-2014 8:59am

GarIT wrote: »

I don't know where on the scale I am because times are changing, a medium in clothes is generally overweight now. Different people have different ideas on what is thin, fat, etc.

Doing it by size though about a 12 is my upper limit.

It's simple, look at your body fat percentage.

Sheeps · 23-10-2014 9:01am

athletic.

GarIT · 23-10-2014 9:05am

DiegoCosta wrote: »

It's simple, look at your body fat percentage.

People generally run away if you start trying to measure them before you take them to bed

SameDiff · 23-10-2014 9:12am

The fact is that healthy is attractive. Someone who has massive rolls of flab or a huge saggy arse is not healthy.

Now, you might find someone attractive who has got those things, but you are sure as sh*te gonna find them more attractive without.

There's loads of people here trying to make excuses for themselves, but them's are the facts.

I'm not gorgeous. In fact, I'm getting a bit worse looking every day, but I'm not stupid enough to convince meself that some people prefer bad teeth to good, or tired eyes to not tired eyes, or bad posture to good posture.

Gannicus · 23-10-2014 9:13am

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

That "you can't ride a personality" statement is irritating. Ultimately, if it's beyond a one night stand, you're just as much "riding the personality" of a person. At the end of the day if someone is absurdly gorgeous, but their personality is in the crapper it's going to be very dull indeed. Good connection= good sex.

While this is true you'll find a lot of people are first attracted to some one based on aesthetics. You see someone in a pub you like, you don't go up to them as they look like they have a nice personality. You go over as you think they are physically attractive. The personality is an added bonus. Personality only comes into play if you are looking for someone to date as opposed to a one night stand. I would even go so far as to say that it may turn a one night stand into a possible relationship if there is a connection personality wise.

Good connection = good sex is not always true either. I've had some great sex on a once off basis with some people who have a truly awful personality.

Frank O. Pinion · 23-10-2014 9:38am

The bigger the better. As long as they can still move around and are not confined to a bed. I'm a slim guy, and I like 'em huge. Bony bodies does nothing for me. I rather watch a girl eat a cheeseburger than a salad.

Google search: Dors Feline. That's perfection.

Wossack · 23-10-2014 9:47am

if you cant lift em, dont shift em

RollieFingers · 23-10-2014 9:48am

Nobody wants a fat bird!

Fat Christy · 23-10-2014 9:52am

RollieFingers wrote: »

Nobody wants a fat bird!

LIES! I have a bf. A slim good looking one as well.

Cupcake_Crisis · 23-10-2014 10:18am

Gannicus wrote: »

While this is true you'll find a lot of people are first attracted to some one based on aesthetics. You see someone in a pub you like, you don't go up to them as they look like they have a nice personality. You go over as you think they are physically attractive. The personality is an added bonus. Personality only comes into play if you are looking for someone to date as opposed to a one night stand. I would even go lso far as to say that it may turn a one night stand into a possible relationship if there is a connection personality wise.

Good connection = good sex is not always true either. I've had some great sex on a once off basis with some people who have a truly awful personality.

Which is why I stated anything beyond a one night stand. Don't get me wrong, I have had some good sex from a ons, but ive had fantastic sex from knowing a person. I'm the type of person who finds people much more attractive depending on their personality.

osarusan · 23-10-2014 10:21am

Frank O. Pinion wrote: »

Google search: Dors Feline. That's perfection.

NSFW

NSFW

NSFW

Gannicus · 23-10-2014 10:25am

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

Which is why I stated anything beyond a one night stand. Don't get me wrong, I have had some good sex from a ons, but ive had fantastic sex from knowing a person. I'm the type of person who finds people much more attractive depending on their personality.

You're missing my point. my point is you find the statement "You can't ride a personality" irritating. My counter to that is that its the aesthetics that attracts you to them initially not personality.

TheBeardedLady · 23-10-2014 10:30am

Gannicus wrote: »

You're missing my point. my point is you find the statement "You can't ride a personality" irritating. My counter to that is that its the aesthetics that attracts you to them initially not personality.

But don't you have to get beyond the initial moment to sleep with them?

For me, the foreplay is the chat beforehand and not just looking at them, even with someone you only met an hour before. Clicking with that person and having a proper laugh with them or an interesting conversation. Those kinds of meetings always lead to the best sex for me.

RonanP77 · 23-10-2014 10:43am

I've been with ladies of all shapes and sizes and what really does it for me is dainty girls. 5' tall and size 6-8 with a little shape to the butt and boobs would be ideal.

How Soon Is Now · 23-10-2014 10:48am

Frank O. Pinion wrote: »

The bigger the better. As long as they can still move around and are not confined to a bed. I'm a slim guy, and I like 'em huge. Bony bodies does nothing for me. I rather watch a girl eat a cheeseburger than a salad.

Google search: Dors Feline. That's perfection.

Seen the girl your on about plenty times online the ****ers in here are gonna physically and mentally die when they Google her! :-) ha.

By the way there was me thinking the thread wasn't going that bad! All kinds of ****e been dragged out now.

Gannicus · 23-10-2014 10:51am

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

But don't you have to get beyond the initial moment to sleep with them?

For me, the foreplay is the chat beforehand and not just looking at them, even with someone you only met an hour before. Clicking with that person and having a proper laugh with them or an interesting conversation. Those kinds of meetings always lead to the best sex for me.

Yeah but lets face it the chat beforehand is foreplay but that foreplay isn't going to happen is that person looks like a well slapped badgers arse

Shakespeare's Sister · 23-10-2014 10:54am

I've been with two guys whom I wasn't physically attracted to initially, then I got to know them and became utterly weak for them - because of their fantastic personalities, mostly that they were funny and sharp as fuq.
I know there's nothing wrong with focusing on looks as the main point of attraction at the start, and I agree it's bullsh-t to say "Looks don't matter at all" but it can be more complex than that too.

RollieFingers wrote: »

Nobody wants a fat bird!

Weird that you post that right after someone saying he does!

Even though the thing about fat women getting practically any fella they want is a load of bitter bullsh-t, it's not true that none of them can get a boyfriend either.

TheBeardedLady · 23-10-2014 10:58am

Gannicus wrote: »

Yeah but lets face it the chat beforehand is foreplay but that foreplay isn't going to happen is that person looks like a well slapped badgers arse

It's important to find them attractive, whatever that means to you. A combination of both is vital for me personally. I've slept with a few "not-so-conventionally-attractive" men in the past and the canoodling was great because we clicked personality-wise. Very possible to be sexy without being conventionally good-looking.

Shakespeare's Sister · 23-10-2014 10:58am

Lalealea wrote: »

I hate this thread. :-(

Judgmental thread ...dieeeee

We are all lovely...

dieeee

Don't you think it's kinda aggressive too to be telling people what they can and can't discuss? It may contain judgmental posters but that doesn't mean it's overall a judgmental thread, or that the intention of it was to be judgmental.
"We are all lovely" - wtf?!

Shakespeare's Sister · 23-10-2014 10:59am

Gannicus wrote: »

Yeah but lets face it the chat beforehand is foreplay but that foreplay isn't going to happen is that person looks like a well slapped badgers arse

Why use an extreme? There's a vast gulf between drop-dead gorgeous and having a face like a well slapped badger's arse.

How Soon Is Now · 23-10-2014 11:06am

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Why use an extreme? There's a vast gulf between drop-dead gorgeous and having a face like a well slapped badger's arse.

You can push a point of view further with an extreme that's why people do it.
It makes what there trying to convince you or even themselves of more solid. Extremes stand out.

Gannicus · 23-10-2014 11:10am

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Why use an extreme? There's a vast gulf between drop-dead gorgeous and having a face like a well slapped badger's arse.

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

You can push a point of view further with an extreme that's why people do it.
It makes what there trying to convince you or even themselves of more solid. Extremes stand out.

Fair enough I may have been a tad hyperbolic but, its not as extreme as you are classing it. It happens. People say that "personality this" or personality that" but lets face it how many time has someone you find in no way attractive come up to you and tried to chat you up only to be shot down in a few seconds before you get to know the personality. I'll admit I've done it and have had it done to me. That's life deal with it and move on.

Shakespeare's Sister · 23-10-2014 11:12am

Gannicus wrote: »

Its not en extreme in the way you are classing it. It happens. people say that personality this or that but lets face it how many time has someone you find in no way attractive come up to you and tried to chat you up only to be shot down in a few seconds before you get to know the personality. I'll admit I've done it and have had it done to me. That's life deal with it and move on.

Yeh but it doesn't mean someone has to bowl you over looks-wise for you to find them attractive either. As I said, I had no physical interest in previous guys I was with initially, but once I got to know them, I was extremely attracted to them.

How Soon Is Now · 23-10-2014 11:14am

Gannicus wrote: »

Fair enough I may have been a tad hyperbolic but, its not as extreme as you are classing it. It happens. People say that "personality this" or personality that" but lets face it how many time has someone you find in no way attractive come up to you and tried to chat you up only to be shot down in a few seconds before you get to know the personality. I'll admit I've done it and have had it done to me. That's life deal with it and move on.

So where all to important to chat to someone for even a few minutes then? If you don't step up to the mark **** off and find someone on your level right? Lol

I'm far from mr perfect ok I'm a **** when I want to be but if someone comes up to me and starts talking I'll take that as a compliment for starters! Just because you don't fancy someone straight away or there not your type looks wise doesn't mean u have to treat them like fools.

If everyone bascially only entertained the things they want more then anything else how the feck would anything work?

Above everything else there's something so basic that we where all hopefully taught as a child called manner s.

denhaagenite · 23-10-2014 11:27am

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

So where all to important to chat to someone for even a few minutes then? If you don't step up to the mark **** off and find someone on your level right? Lol

Or we could stop thinking we should meet the love of our lives blind drunk in a 90+ decibel nightclub where none of our senses are at 100% normal function :pac:

How Soon Is Now · 23-10-2014 11:29am

denhaagenite wrote: »

Or we could stop thinking we should meet the love of our lives blind drunk in a 90+ decibel nightclub where none of our senses are at 100% normal function :pac:

That rarely happens for obvious reasons.

Gannicus · 23-10-2014 11:33am

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

So where all to important to chat to someone for even a few minutes then? If you don't step up to the mark **** off and find someone on your level right? Lol

Now who's being extreme. I have at least the stones to admit I've done it and secure enough in myself to know its been done to me and not be phased by it. That's life. If I am out on a night out and looking to score or even going and looking to meet someone to date yes I will state that they have to be physically attractive to me and that if we get along on a personal level ALSO then its a bonus. I've met people I get on with personally but have no physical attraction to them and we have been friends and others have undoubtedly felt the same way about me. I accept that and I make no excuses for myself or other people being the same way inclined.

How Soon Is Now · 23-10-2014 11:37am

Gannicus wrote: »

Now who's being extreme. I have at least the stones to admit I've done it and secure enough in myself to know its been done to me and not be phased by it. That's life. If I am out on a night out and looking to score or even going and looking to meet someone to date yes I will state that they have to be physically attractive to me and that if we get along on a personal level ALSO then its a bonus. I've met people I get on with personally but have no physical attraction to them and we have been friends and others have undoubtedly felt the same way about me. I accept that and I make no excuses for myself or other people being the same way inclined.

So what would u do if u where out and someone you had no interest in looks wise came over started causally chatting to u? Even asked for a light then started a chat.

denhaagenite · 23-10-2014 11:41am

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

So what would u do if u where out and someone you had no interest in looks wise came over started causally chatting to u? Even asked for a light then started a chat.

YOU MIGHT ASWELL NOT BOTHER BECAUSE YOU'RE A THREE AND I'M CLEARLY AN EIGHT, POSSIBLY A NINE. IN FACT, HOW DARE YOU?? I'M REPORTING YOU TO BOARDS.IE.

One eyed Jack · 23-10-2014 11:43am

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

So where all to important to chat to someone for even a few minutes then? If you don't step up to the mark **** off and find someone on your level right? Lol

I'm far from mr perfect ok I'm a **** when I want to be but if someone comes up to me and starts talking I'll take that as a compliment for starters! Just because you don't fancy someone straight away or there not your type looks wise doesn't mean u have to treat them like fools.

If everyone bascially only entertained the things they want more then anything else how the feck would anything work?

Above everything else there's something so basic that we where all hopefully taught as a child called manner s.

I get what you're saying about manners and all. But nobody should feel under any obligation to entertain someone they don't want to. Entertaining them can sometimes encourage that person, when you really don't want to.

You have to think about the situation you're in and understand that some people are just there to enjoy THEMselves, they have no will in them to make YOUR night more enjoyable for you. I mentioned it earlier in the other thread, but some people are oblivious to body language that says "I'm out for a few drinks, I'm not here to entertain you", and some people, well they just don't give a fcuk!

Depending on how they approach, that will determine whether I'm willing to try and make an effort to overcome my shyness to be able to talk back to them.

Honestly now...... What does it for you?

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