Honestly now...... What does it for you?

TheBeardedLady

Mister Vain wrote: »

Tis true. In my area alone there are Brazilian, African, American and Eastern Europeans. My girlfriend is English but looks Spanish as she is quite dark skinned. Granted I'm in Maynooth which is a college town so there are a lot of foreign students, but still, great variety all the same.

Well there's that too but I was talking more about the variety in looks among the Irish themselves (again, by European standards - not as varied as somewhere like the States or Brazil) and yeah, when the immigrants integrate, it'll become even more varied.

One eyed Jack

ShadowHearth wrote: »

I might sound hypocritical, but I prefer normal, and slim woman over heavy. Add proper curves, not Michelin mascot and you got a stunning body.
I just dont find heavy/very heavy girls attractive and I know that I am not attractive as a fatty. I got a lot of weight built up while in relationship. Since I got single a bit over 3 months a go, I decided to work on my fatness before I go back in to dating scene. I went from 20stone to little bit below 16stone in 12 weeks so far and I still have a lot more to lose. Seeing all the young, slim good looking boys in pubs is a good kick to get slimmer now. Competition is fierce!

I don't mean to pry, and fair play on the weight loss, but losing weight that fast, would that not leave excess skin that has lost it's elasticity? I've seen it in people who have experienced dramatic weight loss in a short period of time and it can have the same detrimental psychological effects and sometimes worse than when they were overweight.

I just mean that while absolutely I would say well done on getting fit and healthy for yourself, I would hope that you're in consultation with your GP and a dietician or fitness professional who is giving you solid advice and making sure you're losing weight and getting fit safely is all.

TheBeardedLady

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Ah no your right there's to much pressure to look certain ways for men and women that gets point where you dress down in protest! Ha.

It's nice to dress well and look after ur appearance in some way but it's not something that needs to be every day thing it's nice to feel casual to.

I really miss walking down the street and NOT getting the eye scan from other women or just completely stared out of it on the metro. Just walked into work there and the receptionist gave me the once over very unsubtly with her eyes. Uncomfortable. I think I'll wear me jim-jams next week.

TheBeardedLady

Cormac... wrote: »

You have a beard, your point is invalid :pac:

The beard is trimmed daily

ShadowHearth

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I don't mean to pry, and fair play on the weight loss, but losing weight that fast, would that not leave excess skin that has lost it's elasticity? I've seen it in people who have experienced dramatic weight loss in a short period of time and it can have the same detrimental psychological effects and sometimes worse than when they were overweight.

I just mean that while absolutely I would say well done on getting fit and healthy for yourself, I would hope that you're in consultation with your GP and a dietician or fitness professional who is giving you solid advice and making sure you're losing weight and getting fit safely is all.

I am not starving myself, I just "Dont eat ****" and walking/running over 5 miles at least 5-6days per week. Thats on top of my job etc.
I have no issue with skin at all and I got a good chunk of muscles instead. Over all I am extremely happy and feel great.
Last 2 weeks I even had some KCs ( Cork people will know ), I still go on nights out for few drinks.

You would be surprised how much you can achieve with little determination and some information found online.
According to my BMI I am still obese, so I got a long way to go.

Shakespeare's Sister

If I lived near KCs I'd be... rather large.

ShadowHearth

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

If I lived near KCs I'd be... rather large.

Well thanks **** I live 40miles away from it, so we do it only once a week! King Creole FTW!

Shakespeare's Sister

ShadowHearth wrote: »

Well thanks **** I live 40miles away from it, so we do it only once a week! King Creole FTW!

Ah you're grand so. I live about five miles away from it. If I lived in Douglas though, don't think I could resist.
That you travel 40 miles weekly to it though, is a good illustration of how yum it is.

ShadowHearth

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Ah you're grand so. I live about five miles away from it. If I lived in Douglas though, don't think I could resist.
That you travel 40 miles weekly to it though, is a good illustration of how yum it is.

Well, I am a Chef and making living from cooking food. So me driving 40miles for it in extremely uneconomical car is a pretty good sign that damn thing is good. The queue are a good indication too. I have never seen such massive queues of sober people outside of chiper!

Mister Vain

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Well there's that too but I was talking more about the variety in looks among the Irish themselves (again, by European standards - not as varied as somewhere like the States or Brazil) and yeah, when the immigrants integrate, it'll become even more varied.

Yeah I suppose we're not all pale redheads. Look at that brown fella that does the Irish lotto now. He's fierce exotic looking all together.

smurgen

Hourglass with little bellyfat. Kelly brook is her hayday basically.

Grayson

One eyed Jack wrote: »

It's not the fault of the Irish people that you and your friends seem to be walking round Dublin with your eyes closed and only open them the minute you get abroad. There's this little idea called perception, and to say half the population of Dublin dress in tracksuits, while there's more don't know how to dress, well that's just exaggeration first of all, and then to say they seem to dress better in Europe... I mean, how subjective is that?

It's crazy talk, pure and simple.

You think that a couple of months on the continent travelling between holiday destinations gives you even the slightest clue of culture, fashion, lifestyle, demographic spectrum... it'd be like me going into Coppers and saying it represents all Dublin nightlife.

It doesn't, not by a long shot, and neither is a handful of holiday destinations across Europe representative of the population in the millions in those countries.

Actually I've spent 1/4 of my life abroad. I've lived on three continents. I'm just back from one particular trip because I got a sabbatical in work so i did what I always do and went travelling.

I never said that Irish people were ugly. I just said that i think other countries dress better (And that's not to say everyone here dresses badly or that everyone in say italy dresses better, I just mean in general). I've never seen anyone in europe wear a tracksuit as regular casual wear and i have spent quite a bit of time there.

I happen to work near Blanchardstown and if you go into the shopping centre most days people aren't dressed well. there was one point where there was a stupid number of women walking around in velur tracksuits with "Juicy" written on their arses. I will say that in general both genders were far better dressed in the college I went to last year.

I even said that the reason i think foreigners look better might just be because they are different.

My post did seem to hit a nerve though. Do you not bother how you dress? Are you slovenly? Or are you maybe attracted to slovenly people? whatever rocks your boat, just don't take it out on me.

Mister Vain

smurgen wrote: »

Hourglass with little bellyfat. Kelly brook is her hayday basically.

You mean she's no longer in her hayday? :eek:

One eyed Jack

Grayson wrote: »

Actually I've spent 1/4 of my life abroad. I've lived on three continents. I'm just back from one particular trip because I got a sabbatical in work so i did what I always do and went travelling.

I never said that Irish people were ugly. I just said that i think other countries dress better (And that's not to say everyone here dresses badly or that everyone in say italy dresses better, I just mean in general). I've never seen anyone in europe wear a tracksuit as regular casual wear and i have spent quite a bit of time there.

I happen to work near Blanchardstown and if you go into the shopping centre most days people aren't dressed well. there was one point where there was a stupid number of women walking around in velur tracksuits with "Juicy" written on their arses. I will say that in general both genders were far better dressed in the college I went to last year.

I even said that the reason i think foreigners look better might just be because they are different.

My post did seem to hit a nerve though. Do you not bother how you dress? Are you slovenly? Or are you maybe attracted to slovenly people? whatever rocks your boat, just don't take it out on me.

Ahh jaysus, I was completely getting a better understanding of where you were coming from, until I got to the bit in bold there.

Was that really necessary?

FWIW, no, you didn't hit a nerve at all. I just thought your opinion was more than a little biased and entirely subjective, with very little attempt made to be objective.

Again though, fwiw, no, I don't consider my attire or my appearance slovenly, in fact I've been told I dress far too formally even for casual occasions. It's just how I dress and I feel comfortable in how I dress myself, even when there are times I may stick out like a sore thumb. I'm secure enough in myself and comfortable enough in myself that while I take other people's opinions on board, I don't see any immediate necessity to revise my attire in order for them to feel more comfortable.

I'm certainly not slovenly as my ability to gain employment is dependent upon my potential employer perceiving me to be an individual who takes care of their appearance and presents themselves well and therefore my appearance is an indication that I am conscientious in my work practices and will perform to an exemplary standard.

Am I attracted to slovenly people? I can be, as in I can find a person attractive despite them committing what I may think are crimes against fashion or in spite of the fact that they may have been shot with Marge Simpsons make-up gun and dipped in a vat of Ronseal. I can't explain to you specifically what it is I may find attractive about them, but I could certainly explain to you one of the biggest turn offs that would make me find a person unattractive -

A bad attitude towards other people, constantly judging people by their own standards and viewing them in a negative light because of that.

br27

I think women she be any size they feel and look there best for example Christina Hendrix from mad men is a curvy woman and is very attracted then on the other hand Georgia salpa is attractive and she is thin I mean there has been curvy women who have lost weight and they don't look as attractive as they did when then were curvier whatever size a woman is if she is attractive she is attractive

smurgen

Mister Vain wrote: »

You mean she's no longer in her hayday? :eek:

She's starting to pass into chubby territory I think.

br27

but you can't really say that as you are insulting slim and fat women if a woman is slim and attractive she is no different than a woman who is fat and attractive or a woman who is in between and attractive they are still the same as one another. see a women who is fat and good looking nobody mentions her weight they say she is good looking but if a person doesn't think another woman the same size is attractive she is automatically fat I think its mostly men that comment on a woman's weight

gormdubhgorm

Excluding medical grounds BEFORE any excessive weight gain/loss

Being excessively overweight = lazy, unhealthy person (some deluded)

You can dress that up anyway you want (literally and figuratively).

Being excessively underweight = obsessive, unhealthy person (some deluded)

You can also dress that up anyway you want (literally and figuratively).


Of course the grounds for what constitutes fat are changing to try and normalise it like in America.

Even the word "fat" is becoming taboo I think soon it will be changed to "differently thin".

How Soon Is Now

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

Excluding medical grounds BEFORE any excessive weight gain/loss

Being excessively overweight = lazy, unhealthy person (some deluded)

You can dress that up anyway you want (literally and figuratively).

Being excessively underweight = obsessive, unhealthy person (some deluded)

You can also dress that up anyway you want (literally and figuratively).


Of course the grounds for what constitutes fat are changing to try and normalise it like in America.

Even the word "fat" is becoming taboo I think soon it will be changed to "differently thin".

You big differently thin bastard ya!

I like it! :-)

Stinjy

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

Even the word "fat" is becoming taboo I think soon it will be changed to "differently thin".

Differently thin... I like that....

Also I agree if you mention the word fat people are determined to say no no no youre not even if you are... people can't deal with others calling themselves fat as if its the worst thing in the world.. even if it's true!!

br27

but do you think some people just keep saying oh my god i am fat i cant get clothes to fit me just to hear people saying oh no your not fat you look great

Mister Vain

smurgen wrote: »

She's starting to pass into chubby territory I think.

Well she was never thin. She gave Jason Statham a box in the face though. That was terrible carry on.

br27

i think anyone would give Jason statham a box in the face

Shakespeare's Sister

Stinjy wrote: »

Differently thin... I like that....

Also I agree if you mention the word fat people are determined to say no no no youre not even if you are... people can't deal with others calling themselves fat as if its the worst thing in the world.. even if it's true!!

I remember Brendan O'Connor saying (after he had lost a load of weight): the proof that people thought you looked fat is in the way they say "Oh my god, you've lost loads of weight - you look amazing!" :pac:
One of the women who works at the hairdresser's I go to has lost about five stone - didn't notice until I went there today. I didn't want to say anything to her bearing in mind that thing Brendan O'Connor said because he's right, it IS pretty much the same as saying "You were an awful state before".

But I guess people just don't want to hurt individual's feelings. I know it's a fact they're fat, but it's still hard for some people to deal with.
E.g. I have no problem with a close friend of mine telling me if I've put on weight, but I wouldn't say the same to her because I know she'd be distraught, whereas I'm just "Meh, time to watch the portions and do more running."
It's very hard for some people to deal with though.
I know it can be said they need to face up to it though. It's a difficult balance to get right.

Billy86

br27 wrote: »

i think anyone would give Jason statham a box in the face

Yeah, for talking to his cousin... what an a**hole.

Mister Vain

br27 wrote: »

i think anyone would give Jason statham a box in the face

You'd get a bigger one back.

br27

Mister Vain wrote: »

You'd get a bigger one back.

i would take it and give you one twice as hard in the crotch

Mister Vain

br27 wrote: »

i would take it and give you one twice as hard in the crotch

Me? What did I do to ya?

TheBeardedLady

Mister Vain wrote: »

Me? What did I do to ya?

As if you don't know *sneaky, sly eyes*

woodoo

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

My grandfather is Indian me da is bit darker then your average Irish man so me and Me brothers always got great tan without any fuss as kids me da would end up black haha.

Ah Mr Varadkar how are you.



I don't particularly like slim women, i prefer a bit bigger so long as the waist is slim enough and they have a nice derriere.

Wibbs

smurgen wrote: »

Hourglass with little bellyfat. Kelly brook is her hayday basically.

Never got the whole Ms Brook thing TBH. Dunno why, but there you are. Horse for courses, eye of the beerholder and all that.

How Soon Is Now

Wibbs wrote: »

Never got the whole Ms Brook thing TBH. Dunno why, but there you are. Horse for courses, eye of the beerholder and all that.

She has nice body shes goodlooking but she alway came across as a bit of an odd ball which has been proved many time with the relationships she gets into!.

mackg

Wibbs wrote: »

Never got the whole Ms Brook thing TBH. Dunno why, but there you are. Horse for courses, eye of the beerholder and all that.

Agreed, I remember when she first came on the scene and everyone was going mad about how hot she was. I think you'd see more attractive women walking around Dublin everyday.

EDIT: Agreed KCs is the king of chippers, what I wouldn't give for a Kansas City Pitta.

woodoo

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

She has nice body shes goodlooking but she alway came across as a bit of an odd ball which has been proved many time with the relationships she gets into!.

Her recent admission of violence against previous boyfriends has really put me off her.

How Soon Is Now

woodoo wrote: »

Her recent admission of violence against previous boyfriends has really put me off her.

Id imagine she be the type if u broke up with her she stalk you kill your dog and burn your house down then somehow blame it on you!.

DoYouEvenLift

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

There's good and bad in all countries there's plenty average looking eastern European women around here for starters. We tend to notice the best examples and compare them to our worst.

I've never had the stereotypical Irish look cause my father's family. I've actually been mistaken for Spanish and Mexican in Ireland ffs haha.

Think it's just the dark features.

If u want an example of how good looking some of us everyday Irish can be go on tinder and swipe away!

Look at people's most cherry picked photos? Okay. And then after that spoof your location to other countries and swipe away!


I don't think Irish are the ugliest people in the world, but they're nowhere near the best looking going off of all the countries I've travelled to, where I could actually see the real people in person and not their online dating profiles where they'll only look the best they ever were.

Billy86

mackg wrote: »

Agreed, I remember when she first came on the scene and everyone was going mad about how hot she was. I think you'd see more attractive women walking around Dublin everyday.

EDIT: Agreed KCs is the king of chippers, what I wouldn't give for a Kansas City Pitta.

Googled it when the other person broke it up. I was one there in December with the ex, went to Corn Market and Electric Bar at the time which were amazing but looking at their menu feck that we should've dropped down to Douglas!

smurgen

Wibbs wrote: »

Never got the whole Ms Brook thing TBH. Dunno why, but there you are. Horse for courses, eye of the beerholder and all that.

I think she's the litmus test for a heterosexual male.

How Soon Is Now

smurgen wrote: »

I think she's the litmus test for a heterosexual male.

You wouldn't kick her out the bed for eating biscuits anyway! Ha

smurgen

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

You wouldn't kick her out the bed for eating biscuits anyway! Ha

Any excuse to do anything to her tbh

Soft Falling Rain

As someone said earlier, a pretty face goes a long way. But I'm not the biggest lad in the world so I'd be more drawn to petiteness.

Grayson

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Ahh jaysus, I was completely getting a better understanding of where you were coming from, until I got to the bit in bold there.

Was that really necessary?

No. Not really

As for the rest, I used to dress really well. Not anything over the top but i did take care of how I looked. When i started a new job 5 years ago I started dressing down after a while because I wanted to fit in a bit more. It meant wearing teeshirts rather than shirts. Hoodies rather than a jacket.

I've started dressing the way i used to now. Feeling a lot better about myself too

UCDVet

There are plenty of studies on the topic but, questions like this are useless.

See, people have this idea of how they 'should be'. Nobody wants to think of themselves as shallow. Our society says that's bad. We're meant to care about the person, and blah, blah, blah.

So, you ask people what they look for and they tell you 'X'. And you have to trust them, right? Who knows better than they do, what they like. So you write down 'X'.

People say things like, 'Personality!' Or 'I think a good sense of humour is really sexy!'. Or, 'I want a guy who is fit - but not too crazy about working out'.

And that's all fine and good. EXCEPT, despite what people *say* they look for in a partner. When they are put to the test, whatever they said is inevitably bull. Women who say they don't care about money (for example) when asked to rate the physical appearance of a man, will score the same picture higher, if they are told 'This is John, he's a doctor' than 'This is John, he's a plumber'. And the guy that the girl said was 'in shape, but not crazy muscular' is actually a full-time personal trainer. Fitter than 98% of the population. But she'd have sounded really shallow if she said, 'I only date the top 2% of men, in terms of fitness'.

Guys who say they care more about personality than looks are just as bad. Show groups of guys the same online dating profile, word for word, identical, but stick a cute girl's picture on one and a ugly girl's picture on the other. The one will a cute photo will be rated as having a much better personality - even though all of the 'about me' crap was identical.

I'm sure we all know someone who insists they are just looking for a 'nice guy, who will treat them nice' but routinely ignores everyone who would treat them nice, for an attractive guy who treats them like crap. And the same is true of guys who lust after some attractive girl who takes advantage of them, while completely ignoring the less attractive girls who are great people.

The data is overwhelming, people are full of crap when it comes to what they say they look for or what they want. Their actions speak volumes though.

Stinjy

br27 wrote: »

but do you think some people just keep saying oh my god i am fat i cant get clothes to fit me just to hear people saying oh no your not fat you look great

Oh yeah some people will use it to get compliments... (that probably arent true) but not everyone..

TheBeardedLady

People say things like, 'Personality!' Or 'I think a good sense of humour is really sexy!'. Or, 'I want a guy who is fit - but not too crazy about working out'.

And that's all fine and good. EXCEPT, despite what people *say* they look for in a partner. When they are put to the test, whatever they said is inevitably bull. Women who say they don't care about money (for example) when asked to rate the physical appearance of a man, will score the same picture higher, if they are told 'This is John, he's a doctor' than 'This is John, he's a plumber'. And the guy that the girl said was 'in shape, but not crazy muscular' is actually a full-time personal trainer. Fitter than 98% of the population. But she'd have sounded really shallow if she said, 'I only date the top 2% of men, in terms of fitness'.

That's all well and good but can you provide evidence that people who talk about the importance of personality and sense of humour are the SAME people who go for the hot, rich bastard in the end? Anecdotal evidence is not enough.

As well as this, how do you know they've chosen the doctor because of his salary and not the fact that he's a hero who saves lives (very sexy, let's face it) as opposed to someone who a plumber who doesn't?

I fancy good-looking men but insisting I'm talking bull when I say I also find smart, easy-going men with a sense of humour INCREDIBLY attractive is rubbish when you look at the man I've ended up with and the previous men I've been with/

Guys who say they care more about personality than looks are just as bad. Show groups of guys the same online dating profile, word for word, identical, but stick a cute girl's picture on one and a ugly girl's picture on the other. The one will a cute photo will be rated as having a much better personality - even though all of the 'about me' crap was identical.

But you're talking about initial sexual attraction. OF COURSE looks matter in the first moment but if you're looking for someone to actually spend time with outside of the bedroom (which is where most people spend their time), then personality is vital.

I'm sure we all know someone who insists they are just looking for a 'nice guy, who will treat them nice' but routinely ignores everyone who would treat them nice, for an attractive guy who treats them like crap. And the same is true of guys who lust after some attractive girl who takes advantage of them, while completely ignoring the less attractive girls who are great people.

There could be a number of factors why they've chosen that bastard or why they stay with them. Lack of confidence or fear of being alone or denial. Yes, I've no doubt people stay with horrible people for their looks alone but not most.

Most people don't end up with horrible super models, most people end up with average people with average looks who are decent for the most part.

One eyed Jack

UCDVet wrote: »

Guys who say they care more about personality than looks are just as bad. Show groups of guys the same online dating profile, word for word, identical, but stick a cute girl's picture on one and a ugly girl's picture on the other. The one will a cute photo will be rated as having a much better personality - even though all of the 'about me' crap was identical.

One person's idea of attractive is another person's idea of unattractive, and the studies you refer to really won't tell you a whole lot either.

I have no problem in admitting I'm shallow as a puddle of water, but often what I may find physically attractive offers no basis for what type of personality I may find attractive. A combination of the two in the one person can often be quite rare, whereas taken separately, they're quite common to everyone.

Often times I've noticed in my experience that while you can assume a lot from a person's photo, you really can't know how you would interact with that person based on just their looks alone as there's no feedback to go on only what's self-reported in their profile. Self-assessment really doesn't tell you a whole lot about how you might interact with them either, and that's why the whole online dating thing is very rarely ever successful for the vast majority of people that use it hoping to meet someone they are compatible with - you really don't know what a person is like and whether you're really attracted to that person until you meet them in person.

Macavity.

I think some unattractive people often put more focus on things such as humour and "personality" (which are, of course, entirely subjective) because they realise a physically attractive partner is unrealistic.

Grayson

I think personality and looks add to each other.

Think personality = P
Looks = L
Attractiveness = A
then P+L=A.

If someone's good looking but dull you might end up going out for a while but it would probably end. Over all the attractiveness would make up for the dull personality and generate a higher score.
If they're nice but unattractive then the personality makes up for the lack of attractiveness.

It could even be described as a graph like the crazy hot scale.

If they're low in both then they're fecked.

TheBeardedLady

Macavity. wrote: »

I think some unattractive people often put more focus on things such as humour and "personality" (which are, of course, entirely subjective) because they realise a physically attractive partner is unrealistic.

Seriously? Tbh, I focus on both. It's very possible to have an attractive partner with a good personality. How could anyone stick someone who only has their looks going for them I don't know. What a miserable existence.

Macavity.

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Seriously? Tbh, I focus on both. It's very possible to have an attractive partner with a good personality. How could anyone stick someone who only has their looks going for them I don't know. What a miserable existence.

Good looking people generally end up with other good looking people (they may or may not have a good personality). People further down on the looks scale will put more emphasis on "personality" as they can't afford to be as picky about looks. This is what I have noticed from just everyday observation. It seems to be backed up by studies as well.