Male dominated work place

LegacyUser

Okay..I may be over sensitive here .. I have been working as an administrator for a male dominated company for about a year (I am female)- needless to say it's not my dream job.

It's also quite a small company about 10 employees - on a daily basis they make chauvinistic jokey comments. for example the director was on the phone to a lawyer today and when he got off the phone the other director said "what did he say?" and he replied:" it was a woman (then looked at me)..sometimes women have professional jobs".

Anyway they banter all day.. trying to wind me up ..saying things like...women can talk about politics now ..all this kinda stuff, but a year of this is making me incredibly angry - This is a company in the UK so on a daily basis it's mocking me being irish ...and the "funny" comments about women..

I guess my question is.....am I supposed to put up with this- grin and bare it, have more of a sense of humour?

does anyone else experience something similar?

Sinall

I've never had the comments about women, but did get quite a slagging from one guy when I worked in the UK about being Irish. It was a joke for a the first while and then got really annoying and boring. So I turned the tables on him. Every time he brought up the fact that I was Irish, I 'jokingly' slagged him about a few things. When he protested I told him not to dish it out if he couldn't take it. He then made a comment about red heads being fiery:rolleyes:

So I then (laughing) said that he didn't want to find out just how fiery I could be. That was the end of it then, but it was just one guy and my other colleagues thought he was being a bit of an idiot.

Can you look around for another job? It sounds like the culture is very embedded there and is unlikely to change. I can imagine how annoying and frustrating it must be for you on a daily basis. I don't know if there's a HR person or department and I don't know if you'd consider going down that route given the attitudes are so widespread.

Diziet

You are not over sensitive; this is at best unpleasant and at worst bullying.

Have you actually told them outright that you find it upsetting and to stop this? Don't engage in discussion, just say 'do you realise how upsetting this remark is?'. It is better to say it straight out, no clever comebacks that give them more ammunition.

Can you escalate a complaint? Is there sensible upper management?

But in reality there are far better workplaces than this, and you should go look for a better job with less backward and idiotic colleagues.

I usually let small comments pass, but if it was systematic putting-down like you've described, I'd try to tackle it personally first rather than going to anyone about it.

The first thing to do is make it absolutely clear you're not impressed. Don't have a big discussion about it, and don't show an emotional reaction, but don't laugh along with it. If they realise there's no craic in it they won't be bothered to make comments after a while. First time round they'll probably make fun, but if you just consistently say you don't find it funny and don't smile along with it I'd say they'll back off. They probably only do it to look like the 'big man' and throw their weight around and if they see they're starting to look like dicks with a terrible sense of humour they'll probably stop.

If not, go to someone higher up/lodge a formal complaint. It's definitely not acceptable treatment in the workplace.

LegacyUser

Hi,

Thank you all for your comments, extremely helpful advice from you all. There is no HR department and the "jokes" are coming from the directors/ managers of the company(I have daily contact with them. )

I have stopped the grinning and baring of the comments , and they are beginning to notice, but they have not stopped. I think I just need to leave, I used to be an upbeat confident person, but not anymore.

The irish slagging is at the stage that whenever a client won't pay their bills/ is being "stupid" they are mimicked by the Directors as having Irish accents, even if they aren't Irish.

It's all taking it's tole and making turning me into an extremely bitter person!

sneakyST

menmen wrote: »

Hi,

Thank you all for your comments, extremely helpful advice from you all. There is no HR department and the "jokes" are coming from the directors/ managers of the company(I have daily contact with them. )

I have stopped the grinning and baring of the comments , and they are beginning to notice, but they have not stopped. I think I just need to leave, I used to be an upbeat confident person, but not anymore.

The irish slagging is at the stage that whenever a client won't pay their bills/ is being "stupid" they are mimicked by the Directors as having Irish accents, even if they aren't Irish.

It's all taking it's tole and making turning me into an extremely bitter person!

I work in the UK and experienced this stuff first hand in a company I worked for a couple of years ago. You either have to confront it head on and be ready to walk out or leave quietly. I can guarantee these guys wouldn't be mimicking accents if you were Asian so it's not acceptable if it's getting to a point where it's constant.
I've learned a few lessons and how to deal with it, and made a few people squirm by asking them to stop acting like a racist in front of their peers. At the end of the day, unless I'm friends with someone the banter is ok, but in a professional environment where I don't know a person I expect respect and courtesy. Don't put up with it and don't be let them make you be ashamed of where you are from.
Having said that - idiots are the minority and people in general are nice.

SpaceTime

I actually got this in a female dominated office.
My boss used to say things like "oh typical men, you can't multitask".

"I won't ask you (question about site design) because you're a man and what would you know about aesthetics anyway?"

They also used to ask me to do things that were completely outside my job description because I was the only male in the office like sweep out the basement, move heavy boxes (I was a multimedia developer / media content producer etc). I told them I couldn't lift heavy boxes and filling cabinets between offices and they actually mocked me about my masculinity!

I suggested they hire professional movers and not expect me to load trucks for them and risk back injury. I don't mind helping out and moving the odd archive box here and there but when you're asking someone in a marketing job to do stuff like that every other day it's a bit ridiculous.

I was particularly annoyed when I was told to go sweep out a basement and then mocked when I complained that I wasn't going to do it while wearing my good clothes. That turned into a load of weird comments about me being "prissy".

They also used to exclude me from casual meetings like they wouldn't bother inviting me for lunch and I used to go out for lunch on my own or eat at my desk. When I brought it up
"Oh we were having a girlie chat ... You wouldn't be interested".

This included not being told about or invited to Xmas party because " it was a big girlie night out for the girls"....

I ended up just getting really fed up being treated like a combination of "outsider" and general dog's body and got fed up with all the sexist snipes.

I quit the job after a while because I just got sick of being treated as "the bloke".

Personally, I blame single gender schools. They had no idea how to interact with a guy other than to blast me with stereotypes.

The experience gave me a much better idea of how women feel in similar circumstances. Plenty of private all-male school trained types at the top ends of traditional industries like banking, finance etc etc who can't understand anyone who isn't one of them.

Basically treat people like people and not as gender stereotypes. Sexism really is pretty horrible when you're on the receiving end of it.

I have pulled up older male colleagues for referring to the administration people as "the girls" in a couple of places too.

I doubt that sexism towards guys is as prevalent (yet) but we all need to watch our for sexism general. Nobody should be getting discriminated against in work or excluded like that be they male or female.

SpaceTime

If you're getting xenophobic abuse in the UK definitely bring it to a head very quickly. The one thing they will not want is someone to take legal action under employment law and you'd be very much entitled to do so.

Mocking someone's nationality would absolutely fall into the category of racism and I think sometimes we accept too much and are "good sports about it".

Bullying is bullying and you're not dealing with 12 year olds in the school yard. They can be potentially fired over stuff like this.

I'd a colleague in London from the North of England and she got openly mocked all day about her accent. She would be greeted with " Ay up! " and lambasted with endless Northern stereotypes.

After a few weeks she went to management who initially did nothing. She then took it further and said she was being made a subject of ridicule and entertainment at work and that she wasn't able to do her job as a result and if it wasn't dealt with she was going to consult a solicitor.

Two lads were given formal warnings one over stepped the mark again and got handed his P45.

No manager worth his or her salt will tolerate that kind of nonsense. It's undermining productivity, creating a bad atmosphere and potentially exposing the organisation to legal issues.

Phantasos

You can escalate matters and get threaten legal action and all sorts... but how will that help? Do you think that, in such a small organisation, that that sort of action is going to improve relations with your co-workers? Do you think it'll help you feel more comfortable in that workplace? I don't think so, honestly. And I'm not disagreeing with your anger/annoyance with your co-workers by the way, but we have to assess this as a real-world situation, not a theoretical problem where you all live happily ever after.

Your best bet is to look for alternative work. Administrative jobs should be available everywhere, especially with your experience. Keep your job and keep sending out the CVs to other companies. I feel you'd be much happier in a different workplace.

messy tessy

God what a horrible situation to be in.

I would say quite loudly "Excuse me, but did you mean to be so racist/rude/sexist just then?" and calmly wait for an answer. Even if this behaviour stops I'd stay looking for another job anyway and try to get out... Bunch of pr!cks