Most embarrassing thing you've done on a plane?

Areyouwell

Larianne wrote: »

Wore flight socks with my flip-flops.

The worst thing I've read here. Shame on you.

Larry Wildman

Larry Wildman wrote: »

Are you for real?

It's pretty straightforward to "judge" a passenger on a plane who attacks an air hostess and has to be hauled off the plane by the guards.

Yes attack as in probably a verbally attack. His exact words were 'he went off on one'. There is nothing to suggest that a physical assault took place. In the context of someone showing any sort of anger on an airplane id imagine it would be a security policy to call transport police.

Galway K9

Areyouwell wrote: »

The worst thing I've read here. Shame on you.

Joined mile high club going to Italy thinking we were fun and sneaky. Walked out separately, saw people sniggeribg and then a guy give me a thumbs up and smiling. Longest 60 mins of the remainder of the flight.

Alot of flatulence anecdotes on here. If only that combusted energy could be harnessed to fuel the plane :pac:

Galway K9

Galway K9 wrote: »

Joined mile high club going to Italy thinking we were fun and sneaky. Walked out separately, saw people sniggeribg and then a guy give me a thumbs up and smiling. Longest 60 mins of the remainder of the flight.

But she got the best 5 minutes of her life i assume? :P;)

Grandeeod

Larry Wildman wrote: »

This thread is full of amusing anedotes about people accidently passing wind or not locking a toilet door.

Then there's you - Unfunny and completely despicable behaviour. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Well I wasn't proud of myself, but let me put you straight on a few things.

1. It was the police in Birmingham, not the Gardai. I wasn't hauled off. I was escorted as is protocal in these situations. I got a caution after explaining what happened.

2. I didn't "attack" her. It was a verbal spat. She gave as good as she got. Im sure as a customer/passenger I could have got her sacked/reprimanded, but I took full responsibility.

3. It was embarrassing and I regret it. But life goes on.

4. It happened on a Dublin - Birmingham flight in 1995 before people were up their own holes and before people flew planes into skyscrapers. Different times pal.

5. I thought it was an embarrassing story and added to the thread, until you came along with your preference for fart stories.

If every man was to be locked up for having a verbal row with their girlfriend there wouldnt be enough prisons in the world to keep them all.

leeroybrown

Not me personally (thankfully) but someone I know through work had a nightmare moment on a transatlantic flight about ten years ago. About an hour into the flight he went to use the toilet but didn't lock the the door properly. When he stood back up from the seat and reached to get some toilet paper he hit the door with his hip and swung it open. By the time he realised and closed it again two old ladies sitting nearby got to witness the glorious moment where he wiped his fat ass in front of them. Cue another nine hours on the plane trying to somehow hide from them despite being three seats away.

bear1

Grandeeod wrote: »

Well I wasn't proud of myself, but let me put you straight on a few things.

1. It was the police in Birmingham, not the Gardai. I wasn't hauled off. I was escorted as is protocal in these situations. I got a caution after explaining what happened.

2. I didn't "attack" her. It was a verbal spat. She gave as good as she got. Im sure as a customer/passenger I could have got her sacked/reprimanded, but I took full responsibility.

3. It was embarrassing and I regret it. But life goes on.

4. It happened on a Dublin - Birmingham flight in 1995 before people were up their own holes and before people flew planes into skyscrapers. Different times pal.

5. I thought it was an embarrassing story and added to the thread, until you came along with your preference for fart stories.

Wouldn't be so bad except he isn't even sharing a story himself. Reads through the thread, posts nothing nor likes anyones post. Sees one post which he doesn't agree with and decides to post. Typical.
To the others who did post, thanks had quite a few giggles

leeroybrown

Grandeeod wrote: »

5. I thought it was an embarrassing story and added to the thread, until you came along with your preference for fart stories.

It's After Hours. Unpleasantness is to be expected here. I wouldn't worry about Larry's opinions.

forgotten password

bear1 wrote: »

I've been flying a lot this month and had I believe my most embarrassing moment during my most recent flight.
Flight was already going badly, late, cold, feck all food and was surrounded by screaming kids.
After a while I decided to try and get some kip just to pass the time.
Stomach was acting up a bit but nothing major. Fell asleep any way but was woken up a few times due to my painful stomach.
Off to sleep again to be woken up by the air vents blowing in my direction and a slight stench in the air.
Turned to look at the woman sitting next to me to see why she turned it towards me only to be met with a look of pure disgust on her face.
I'd been farting in my sleep.
Fcuking mortified.
Couldn't wait to get off the plane

you stink

keith16

I sit in the wrong seat way too often.

There I am all happy sitting down with my little set-up all good to go, you know yourself - putting your bag in the overhead bin but taking out some entertainment essentials (earphones etc.).

Books and magazines all tucked away in the front seat pocket ready for my perusal.

Then some prick is standing over you shoving their boarding pass in your face saying "er, I think your in my seat".

bear1

forgotten password wrote: »

you stink

I apologised to you enough on the plane, now you're stalking me?! LEAVE ME ALONE!! runs away and cries in the corner

_Brian

I was sitting beside a fat yank on a flight from Dallas to Heathrow, it was a ten hour flight and one I did Quite often.

We were only ten minutes in the air he was into His life story and his wife's and his kids.

Anyway, I'd had a few drinks and wasn't up for his story. So I just opened the little bag they give you, took out the blanket and put it over my head, just so I could see the screen on the seat in front of me, like a little tent.

He Didn't speak to me for the rest if the flight.


Looking back it was fair ignorant but I just couldn't face it.

BelleOfTheBall

On A flight from Mauritius to Dubai and lady sits beside me.said hello etc started reading magazine.next thing she's taking her hair off ie wig -grooming it styling it.haha funniest thing I couldn't keep a straight face for the entire flight.

Cedrus

I was on a long overnight flight and after everyone was settled down to sleep, I managed to pop one of the lenses out of my glasses and drop it down the side of my seat. Quietly searching for it I discovered that airline seats dismantle REALLY easily, in less than a minute I had the seat in bits and a stewardess standing over me wanting to know what I was up to. All I was worried about was not waking anyone up (and being able to see again.

I'm a sleep talker and a sleep walker, and on an overnight flight I was fast asleep having a great dream about rollercoasters or something, when the flight attendant woke me up. I'd been loudly laughing my head off in my sleep and waking up other people.

Mortified.

razorblunt

Coming back from my stag, Vegas to Newark leg, in the absolute horrors, we were all sat separately, I was next to an old English couple. Fell asleep about 30 seconds after sitting down and ended up resting my head on the old fellas shoulder and proceeded to sweat out 5 nights of drinking.

Woke up sheepishly and apologised profusely' "don't worry about it, I have three sons who've been in worse conditions, I didn't want to wake you".

I almost cried and asked him to be my honorary dad.

smurfjed

Flying a single engine aircraft towards Dublin, decided that it was a perfect opportunity to join the 1/4 mile high club, so G/F climbs on top and we started to have fun.... Looked out and saw a helicopter flying right beside us :)

Then there was the time that i was swinging a fire axe in the cockpit of a B747 whilst on final approach into Heathrow

Arcto

smurfjed wrote: »

Flying a single engine aircraft towards Dublin, decided that it was a perfect opportunity to join the 1/4 mile high club, so G/F climbs on top and we started to have fun.... Looked out and saw a helicopter flying right beside us :)

Then there was the time that i was swinging a fire axe in the cockpit of a B747 whilst on final approach into Heathrow

I demand to know more about the fire axe story!

monkeysnapper

A few years ago I was on a flight to Manchester with my 2.5 year old little girl and she grabbed a girls ponytail sitting in the seat in front and pulled it and girls head went back in seat. I just wanted to jump out the bloody plane . The horror !!

The One Doctor

That time I bent down to look for something only to look up and find we had rolled 90 degrees left and pitched steeply down... still accelerating.

Or the other time, when each of us thought the other was in control and the plane nearly landed itself.

Both embarrassing, both true.

Mars Bar

The One Doctor wrote: »

That time I bent down to look for something only to look up and find we had rolled 90 degrees left and pitched steeply down... still accelerating.

Or the other time, when each of us thought the other was in control and the plane nearly landed itself.

Both embarrassing, both true.

:eek:
Personally, I'd feel much better if the pilots stayed out of this thread with their stories!

Kevin McCloud

Hit the call button instead of the light

Nomis21

Back in the 70's as a teenager I was on a flight from Amman in Jordan to Heathrow on Royal Jordanian airlines. The late King Hussein of Jordan was on the flight and was actually flying the aircraft as he was a qualified airline pilot.

About mid way the King took a break from the flight deck and walked around the cabin to meet some of his passengers. I mistook him for one of the cabin stewards and asked him if he could get me a coca cola. He just just smiled at me but his bodyguard looked very upset.

J Mysterio

diomed wrote: »

Hit the cabin staff lady a mighty whack on the leg with my elbow. I had just put my headphones on and was taking down my arms, she was rushing up the aisle at top speed.

They always hit any body part even marginally near the aisle though. It's almost like a sport for them. Think of your elbow strike as retaliation for the flying public.

Harry Angstrom

I fell fast asleep on a jumbo jet after necking a bottle of whiskey. The air hostesses couldn't wake me up.





I was the pilot.

challengemaster

Many many years ago, Air france trans-atlantic to US... I ended up sat right in front of a seating area partition with a big screen in the middle like this:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/be/Onboard_JAL_in-flight_nose_camera.jpg

Anyway, on the second of touchdown, I projectile vomited all over the wall right beside the screen. The people that were sat beside me scurried quickly away! :pac:

J Mysterio

Worst hangover of my life was on a flight home from a boozefest in Germany. Sister had ordered an in flight breakfast for me.which I couldnt look at and asked for it to be removed.

Managed to keep it together until I got off the AirCoach and proceeded to vomit multiple times all over the sidewalk right in front of this lovey dovey couple walking along. The face on them was priceless (in retrospect)... but I wasn't in a happy place.

Worst flight was sitting on a trans atlantic flight next to a massive mustachioed yank who was chomping on chewing tobacco and regularly spitting out brown slime into his ever filling spitoon. So ****ing disgusting.

Frynge

On a long haul flight with my mate and we had a fair sup of drink during the first stopover. After the first meal was cleared we ordered a few more beers. My tray was down to hold the beers and glasses of ice (ha remember when planes had ice) I had fallen asleep and when I woke up my mate was holding his beer in his hand on his lap. I called his name and he mumbled something while shifting position and the can emptied it contents onto his crotch. For no aperant or logical reason I then picked up my beer and poured it onto his crotch aswell.

He woke me up an hour later embarrassed that he had pissed himself and asking me to let him out to go to the toilet.

He still thinks he pissed himself.

J Mysterio

Frynge wrote: »

For no aperant or logical reason I then picked up my beer and poured it onto his crotch aswell.

Eh....

Frynge

J Mysterio wrote: »

Eh....

I'm quite embarrassed by that bit.

mossy50

coming back from portugal last year i farted and had a FOLLOW TRU
went to the toilet with the inflight mag covering my arse
spent about an hour trying to clean myself up there was ****e everywhere
came out of loo and headed back to my seat only to discover there was ****e on that also
thank god for inflight magazines as it came to the rescue again

J Mysterio

Oh lord.

Imagine the poor soul occupying the seat next to yours. Looking at the little **** stain on the seat. How terribly sad. Terrible, terrible.

Buona Fortuna

The One Doctor wrote: »

That time I bent down to look for something only to look up and find we had rolled 90 degrees left and pitched steeply down... still accelerating.

Or the other time, when each of us thought the other was in control and the plane nearly landed itself.

Both embarrassing, both true.

Ryanair?

smurfjed

I demand to know more about the fire axe story!

The B747 Classic aircraft has 5 seats in the cockpit, one of these is a folding seat attached by 4 pins to the ground, but it folds away if not in use. I was going to sit in that seat for landing in LHR. As i pulled the release level to unfold the seat, it basically over extended and locked itself in a lump on the floor. I was pulling and pushing trying to get it back to the desired position but failed. The Captain told me that it was now blocking his exit so i had to remove it, the 1st pin was easy, the 2nd not too bad, but the other two were jammed solid.. agh.. The flight engineer, resourceful chap that he was, just handed me the fire axe, at this stage the Cabin Supervisor came in to report (no cockpit door locks in those days ) He saw me on my knees in between the 3 crew sweating like crazy and swinging the fire axe. To his credit, he just accepted this as normal Finally managed to get the bloody thing out, and strapped in for the landing.
In this day and age, I would have probably ended up on the front page of the DM as some passenger would have reported a mad man in the cockpit with an axe

Buona Fortuna

J Mysterio wrote: »

Oh lord.

Imagine the poor soul occupying the seat next to yours. Looking at the little **** stain on the seat. How terribly sad. Terrible, terrible.

Or the one to get that seat on the return flight - after the plane had its thorough clean of course :eek:

fryup

Oink wrote: »

I had just finished telling herself that my stomach wasnt great when someone near me either farted, or opened the gates of hell (one or the other), unleashing the most vile stench of death I ever smelt.

No point trying to explain to people it wasnt me...

I dont know who the baxtard was, but well played a$$hole.

sounds like this .......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex8eilkWxgM

smurfjed

Personally, I'd feel much better if the pilots stayed out of this thread with their stories!

Are you sure?

Yeah_Right

Returning from a trip away with a few mates. We were all very hungover. One of the lads went to use the toilet and while taking a dump he had to throw up. So he tried to squat over the toilet seat while puking between his legs. Massive fail. He ended up with vomit and ****e all over the cubicle and himself. tried to clean it up but couldn't. He stank for the rest of the flight ( another 4 + hours) and they closed that toilet cubicle.

ever since then he has had the nickname Smelly.

brummytom

I was on a flight when I was about 16, I think it might've been going to America, it was a long flight anyway.

I was sat near the front of the plane and was absolutely bursting for the toilet, but the toilets at the front were engaged. So I went to use the other toilet at the back of the plane.

As I was coming out of the toilet, I realised the air hostess had started selling food and drinks from the trolley. Unfortunately, there was no way for me to get round her, so I spent the next 30-odd minutes of the flight stood behind the air hostess until she reached the front, with everyone on the plane looking at me like I was special.

Stench Blossoms

Was flying back from Orlando to Dublin via JFK.

On the flight from Orlando to JFK I got violently sick. Was sitting beside a couple on their honeymoon and he was rubbing my back while I kept puking.

When the plan was landing I realised I had run out of sick bags so jumped up to get another. Que the air hostesses going mental at me. It was either that or get sick on my hands

The One Doctor

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

Ryanair?

Nope.

fleet_admiral

Flew Dublin to Blackpool a couple of years ago on an atr turboprop that was ancient. (ei-cbk for those who kmow aviation). I have a terrible fear of flying and was glued to the propellers as we were taxiing. The worst part was when the fear took over as we took off and I burst into tears, much to the amusement of my wife and the other 7 or so people on the plane. The flight wasnt even half an hour but it felt like days to me:o

Mister Vain

I remember my first ever flight. I wasn't sure how it all worked. I thought it was like a bus and you could just sit wherever you wanted. So I just started sitting in random seats and I had people coming up to me saying I was in their seat. I eventually found the right one. I was very worried about my ears popping so I began nervously chewing sweets. I got through 2 packets of fruit pastilles before the fecking plane even got up in the air.

DazMarz

Coming home from a Community Shield game in London with a friend. We're both Chelsea fans and Chelsea have just gotten clattered 3-1 by Man United. We're in our Chelsea jerseys, looking suitably dismayed, and are sitting right at the very front of the plane.

Who gets on the plane, in their Man United tracksuits? John O'Shea and Darron Gibson. In fairness, they shook our hands (albeit with shít-eating grins on their faces), but it was awful...

BrokenHero

When I was 17 and traveling alone to London, I experienced a massive claustrophobic induced panic attack. Was horrible and I would have jumped from the plane if I could have. In that state I embarrassingly said to a female crew member: "Can we go back?".

The One Doctor

Nomis21 wrote: »

I mistook him for one of the cabin stewards and asked him if he could get me a coca cola.

Did he get you the Coke though?

NotASheeple

I had a serious does of Guinness farts once. The smell got so bad, it silenced 4-5 rows either side of me. The embrassing part was the person I was sitting beside, we were hitting it off real nice before the eruption started.

Gandalph

Not really my story to tell but my mom used to work in an airport and she told me about her air hostess friends and how they replaced the usual whistle, on a colleagues demonstration life jacket, with that of a whistle in the form of a penis. She didn't notice until she had it already pressed to her lips during her usual life jacket demo routine in front of the whole plane. I'd say she was red with embarrassment. This being absolute decades ago when things were probably a bit more lax.