Sexy street harassment

Pocoyo

Shenshen wrote: »

It does.

I think what makes it so annoying and at times outright creepy is not the one guy saying "Hi sweetie, have a nice day". It's the fact that there are so many of them doing it.

And, truth be told, as a woman you tend not to think "Great, he noticed how lovely my hair looks today", you tend to think "He's talking at me, what's he going to do next? Is he watching? Will he start following me? Should I step into that shop to throw him off my trail?"

It's not nice, it's scary.
Yes, some of them probably really don't have any ulterior motives and are just trying to be nice, but how do you know which one of them is the one who will turn out to be the nutcase you need to be aware of?

Some ones a bit paranoid.

Zen65

mohawk wrote: »

Spent a summer in San Francisco a few years back and I couldn't leave the house without men passing comment on how I looked. I used to find it really intimidating when guys would get angry if you ignored them.

What I found most threatening about the video was exactly that. Quite a few of the men responded harshly when their lame attempts to engage the girl were not responded to, and there were clear examples of anger in the voices when they reacted to that. Hell that's intimidating for anyone. On rare occasions when I've ignored somebody who tried to stop me on the street (to sell or beg) I hear something angry being called out after me, and it unsettles me a bit I must say (and I'm handy enough when it comes to physical violence). I am aware of the need for me to check that the person is not following me to turn those angry words into an angry deed. Of course that's harassment of the woman - and for women in general. Some people on here claiming the whole thing is an over-reaction are either fools or simply blind to how this sort of behaviour affects people.

SVJKarate wrote: »

The comments in the video were for the most part not compliments. "Hey, D-A-M-N!!" is not a compliment; it is a public declaration of arousal. Any woman should be quite concerned to hear such a thing unless she is actually looking for it, which on the street is almost never.

+1 to this. For anyone to portray these behaviours as 'chat up lines' is just insulting to people who genuinely like to chat up women (or men) on their nights out. Chatting people up is fun, whereas this is just loutish.

P. Breathnach

UCDVet wrote: »

Whoa - you have to slow it down for me. How did you two 'simply start chatting?'...

I can't answer for Lollipops, but I can give you a pointer: don't open conversation with anything that might be construed as personal, and avoid vocal and physical mannerisms that convey a message that you would like to shag her.

I'm married, and have no interest in straying. But I notice attractive women, and I sometimes speak with women who I have not met before - but with no motive other than to occupy a few seconds of my day. The last brief conversation I initiated with a woman I didn't know was about pineapples. I don't imagine she thought I was coming on to her.

Zen65

P. Breathnach wrote: »

I can't answer for Lollipops, but I can give you a pointer: don't open conversation with anything that might be construed as personal, and avoid vocal and physical mannerisms that convey a message that you would like to shag her.

Sound advice! Needs a charity to promote it!!

UCDVet

Zen65 wrote: »

You're quoting very selectively there. In the interactions which are shown from 0:15 to 0:19 you only mention the opening line, but neglect to include the things that are called out to the girl as she walks by!

"How you doing today?"
(She walks by)
"I guess not good!" (sarcastic)
(She still does not respond)
"Smile"
"Smile" (louder)

How is that not hassling the girl?

At 0:23 again you only give the opening line, but the man actually shouted out a bit more than that:

"Hey what's up girl? How you doing?" and when she does not respond he shouts after her "When somebody's acknowledging you for being beautiful . . you should say thank you more!"

Frankly your reporting of the video leaves a lot to be desired in terms of honesty.

I wasn't attempting to report on the video. Nor was I attempting to provide a written transcript. I was providing examples from the video that I didn't consider offensive.

In some places, ignoring someone who says, 'Hello' is considered rude. It's particularly tricky when you've got different races involved given the history of the United States.

Even if you remove the interactions with back-and-forth, that's only off of my list. If you remove the ones with 'baby' or 'beautiful' that still leaves plenty of examples left.

Are you agreeing that those phrases aren't harassment?

UCDVet

P. Breathnach wrote: »

I can't answer for Lollipops, but I can give you a pointer: don't open conversation with anything that might be construed as personal, and avoid vocal and physical mannerisms that convey a message that you would like to shag her.

I'm married, and have no interest in straying. But I notice attractive women, and I sometimes speak with women who I have not met before - but with no motive other than to occupy a few seconds of my day. The last brief conversation I initiated with a woman I didn't know was about pineapples. I don't imagine she thought I was coming on to her.

So - 'Hey - how's it going?' would be an example of something safe to open with?

upandcumming

I think this is a complete crock. I doubt she'd have any problem if men of the calibre of Ryan Gosling or Matthew Bomer were saying anything. But no, you have blue collar workers arsing around and street vendors "harassing" her. If this is such a problem how come she only had two minutes of footage after ten hours? Throw enough **** at a wall, some of it will stick.

UCDVet

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Ha, I honestly don't remember what he said!

I do think the difference was that we were both stationary, both waiting for taxis. It's a world of difference from shouting at a woman as she walks past, which seems far more aggressive. Initiating conversation with a woman before you hit on her is generally accepted as a more surefire way of striking up flirtation.

Wouldn't some women find it the opposite? If a guy says 'Hey what's up' as you walk past while he isn't moving....well, he's not a threat. If you two are alone, waiting in the same place, and he says something and you don't like it, isn't that a lot more awkward and potentially dangerous?

J Mysterio

P. Breathnach wrote: »

.I'm married, and have no interest in straying. But I notice attractive women, and I sometimes speak with women who I have not met before - but with no motive other than to occupy a few seconds of my day. The last brief conversation I initiated with a woman I didn't know was about pineapples. I don't imagine she thought I was coming on to her.

Sounds filthy that.

P. Breathnach

UCDVet wrote: »

So - 'Hey - how's it going?' would be an example of something safe to open with?

No.

susanlinda823

I dont know, as a female most of those comments wernt rude at all. Saying hello to someone is not sexual harassment. Some of those guys were out of line. That one guy going "damnn damnnnn" kinda made me laugh.

UCDVet

mhge wrote: »

It's disingenous to say it's about the phrase only. It's still bulk chatting up strangers who are simply walking by, sitting near etc. BTW phrases like "hey baby" or "hey beautiful" thrown at strangers are plain disrespectful and creepy. I'm no street creep's baby.

A positive example:
- look at a woman in a club/pub/cafe
- if she smiles/returns your gaze say hi
- if she replies ask if she likes this place
- take it from there
- if she's not interested at any stage, drop it there and then

Seriously it's not rocket science... But note how you're checking for her interest before you proceed.

No point in expecting that hitting strangers with your advances is the way to go - they don't owe you any interest or interaction and they may have had multiple experiences where verbal harassment turned into abuse, groping etc. Someone's unwanted advances only add to the pile.

How do we know it is in bulk? And you don't think people who chat up women in clubs/pubs/cafe don't do it bulk either? I don't see how that should have any relevance here.

Even if you object to terms of endearment like 'baby' and 'beautiful' that still leaves a LARGE number of interactions from the video. Do you agree that those are not inappropriate to say to women?

I've also heard of women being offended by 'creeps staring at them' when they are out. So your advice is to stare at a girl, until you happen to catch her eye. And if she looks at you, you assume that is a welcome invitation? How do you know that she is looking at you and not the sign behind you? Maybe she is smiling because she is nervous or thinks I look funny, but doesn't want to be bothered? What if she doesn't appreciate you starring at her - is that not potentially harassment?

All we're doing is removing verbal communication with (more complex) non-verbal communication. It has all of the same issues. Instead of verbally saying 'Hey, what's up' you're going to look at this girl until she happens to look at you. But, let's not be sexist here, men aren't meant to always initiate action - the man needs to show he's interested - so now I'm not a creep saying 'Hey, what's up' - I'm creep starring at girls until they look at me, the smiling to indicate my interest and hoping they smile back. Instead of saying 'Hey, what's up' and hoping they engage in a conversation.

UCDVet

P. Breathnach wrote: »

No.

How does, 'Hey, how's it going' violate your advice?

'don't open conversation with anything that might be construed as personal, and avoid vocal and physical mannerisms that convey a message that you would like to shag her.'

Is that too personal? Or am I just meant to go around asking women about pineapples?

And your forgetting a key aspect here - while you mention you are married - you weren't always married. At some point, you or your spouse indicated an interest in one another. The goal isn't to avoid any conversation that would show sexual interest, the goal is to show it in a way that doesn't offend and isn't harassment.

Piliger

Zen65 wrote: »

You're quoting very selectively there. In the interactions which are shown from 0:15 to 0:19 you only mention the opening line, but neglect to include the things that are called out to the girl as she walks by!

"How you doing today?"
(She walks by)
"I guess not good!" (sarcastic)
(She still does not respond)
"Smile"
"Smile" (louder)

How is that not hassling the girl?

At 0:23 again you only give the opening line, but the man actually shouted out a bit more than that:

"Hey what's up girl? How you doing?" and when she does not respond he shouts after her "When somebody's acknowledging you for being beautiful . . you should say thank you more!"

Frankly your reporting of the video leaves a lot to be desired in terms of honesty.

Well I think this is evidence that there is a small percentage of women with serious personality disorders and nothing to do with men or harassment or anything of the sort.

Society does not have a responsibility to shape everyone's behaviour to suit a small section of people who have this kind of issue with human interaction. It's something that they got from their parents and should learn to deal with themselves, perhaps with therapy.

This video stunt and the attempt to turn it into an issue that men across the world can be bashed and attacked with is disgusting and men everywhere should have the confidence to stand up and say NO ! Get a life !

IsMiseMyself

I bet if you did the same experiment in the same place and got a man to walk wherever for ten hours, no other (or maybe a *tiny* number of) men would approach him with these friendly greetings.

If you wouldn't say it to other men I dunno why you'd feel the need to say it to a woman.

P. Breathnach

UCDVet wrote: »

How does, 'Hey, how's it going' violate your advice?

'don't open conversation with anything that might be construed as personal, and avoid vocal and physical mannerisms that convey a message that you would like to shag her.'

It's a question that you might ask of somebody that you already know.

Is that too personal? Or am I just meant to go around asking women about pineapples?

It's an example of a safe topic of conversation. I have also discussed cooking with women I don't know (you might figure out that these are supermarket conversations). There is always the weather - we Irish love to talk about the weather.

And your forgetting a key aspect here - while you mention you are married - you weren't always married. At some point, you or your spouse indicated an interest in one another. The goal isn't to avoid any conversation that would show sexual interest, the goal is to show it in a way that doesn't offend and isn't harassment.

No good story has its denouement on page 1.

Mint Aero

In London anyways, they're mad for blowin' the horn and screaming out the window at chicks. Pure retards.

P. Breathnach

Piliger wrote: »

Well I think this is evidence that there is a small percentage of women with serious personality disorders and nothing to do with men or harassment or anything of the sort...!

So the women who have told us in this thread that they dislike being accosted by strangers suffer from serious personality disorders?

Zen65

UCDVet wrote: »

I wasn't attempting to report on the video. Nor was I attempting to provide a written transcript. I was providing examples from the video that I didn't consider offensive.

But you're not providing honest examples from the video - you're picking little bits of the interactions and saying they are not offensive. It is not the case that a single phrase or interaction was offensive, but every exchange certainly was harassing in all but three cases in the video. To shorten the quotes the way you did is disingenuous. If somebody walked up to me and said "Hey man, what are you doing walking around here, with a face as ugly as that?" it would be offensive. To omit the second part of the sentence when reporting it would be dishonest.

The video is an edited version of what happened over the 10 hours. It probably omitted many occasions where somebody simply said "hello", "Good evening" etc. in a polite, non-threatening way. There may well have been people on the way who simply smiled silently at her in a friendly way. It is not the point of the video that men cannot talk to women they do not know. What is evident is that the men have an expectation that she should respond as if she was flattered, when in reality she has simply been interrupted while going about her business. Those men exploited a power imbalance* to try to belittle her for not responding to their interruptions.

*They certainly would not have responded as they did if she was accompanied by a large male.

Zen65

Piliger wrote: »

Well I think this is evidence that there is a small percentage of women with serious personality disorders and nothing to do with men or harassment or anything of the sort.

That's a fascinating perspective. Can you elaborate on it? What is the 'serious personality disorder' that you see in these women?

Tail Docker

I can't leave the house lately without women wolf-whistling, passing lewd remarks, trying to take my picture and generally ogling me. The sooner I get some money for clothes the better, this being flat broke sucks.

strandroad

UCDVet wrote: »

How do we know it is in bulk? And you don't think people who chat up women in clubs/pubs/cafe don't do it bulk either? I don't see how that should have any relevance here.

Even if you object to terms of endearment like 'baby' and 'beautiful' that still leaves a LARGE number of interactions from the video. Do you agree that those are not inappropriate to say to women?

I've also heard of women being offended by 'creeps staring at them' when they are out. So your advice is to stare at a girl, until you happen to catch her eye. And if she looks at you, you assume that is a welcome invitation? How do you know that she is looking at you and not the sign behind you? Maybe she is smiling because she is nervous or thinks I look funny, but doesn't want to be bothered? What if she doesn't appreciate you starring at her - is that not potentially harassment?

All we're doing is removing verbal communication with (more complex) non-verbal communication. It has all of the same issues. Instead of verbally saying 'Hey, what's up' you're going to look at this girl until she happens to look at you. But, let's not be sexist here, men aren't meant to always initiate action - the man needs to show he's interested - so now I'm not a creep saying 'Hey, what's up' - I'm creep starring at girls until they look at me, the smiling to indicate my interest and hoping they smile back. Instead of saying 'Hey, what's up' and hoping they engage in a conversation.

I already said that it's disingenuous to say it's about the phrase alone. And I never said "stare" either. Would you "stare" at a guy you strike up a normal conversation with? Then no need to stare at women either. Would you press if he shows no interest? Then don't press women either.

You don't seem to be willing to accept any replies that do not allow throwing "terms of endearment" at random women as a socialising strategy so let's leave it at that.

Chunners

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Glad u said it because u have more chance of getting away with it then i do ! :pac:

I understand what you are saying but don't see why that should be the case (if it is) tbh, they are the more aggressive and intimidating and I would take 20 Irish builders with their ass cracks showing and wolf whistling at me from their scaffolds any day over 1 Nigerian following me down the street and relentlessly trying everything to intimidate me to get me to come with him so it shouldn't matter who says it really. I mean it is a truth that it does happen. I'm old enough to be able to handle it but I dread to think how 16 year old girls who it happens to feel because even at my age (40) it is not nice being backed into a corner by them

RDM_83 again

Interesting thread.

I can sort of see both sides. I have the feeling most of the male posters that are confused or reducing the issue are thinking about some of the milder incidents people are talking about and going, "but I've done something similar and I wasn't meaning to harass or intimidate and I've pulled doing it so it can't be harassment"

Where as the woman posters are saying how about its all about intent, and the frequency of these events that makes it harassment.

We perceive ourselves as individuals not commonalities so the individual guy that says "cheer up"* probably isn't doing it to harass even though the cumulative impact might be construed as harassment.
I'm not talking about the clear cut cases of harassment like wolf whistling or yelled comments but in the thread we have "Hello" considered harassment if its done in a creepy manner

Yet at the same time to this question in the TLL

"Has a guy ever approached you on the street?
I see guys doing this sometimes, it's so cringeworthy!!" the replies

"Approached how? Asking you out?
I don't see how that's cringeworthy."

"Why would that be " cringeworthy" Considering the potential abuse and rejection that could come your way, I think it takes quite a bit of courage to do that!"

And similar style posts including ones about it being better than the Irish drinking thing all get an a absolute ton of thanks.

Like can you see why someone might be confused by this, like in non abuse and non-sexual comments used where the intent of approaching of a pretty obviously the same of striking up an interaction. But on one thread its good, but on another its bad

Having been in latin countries and Morocco :eek: seeing some pretty extreme behavior I get why people wouldn't like this ,And I'm not a moron, I understand how to interact with people, met my OH by a chance encounter, was asked to go for a drink a while back by a woman I asked directions from (great ego boost but never happened to me when I was single :mad: ), yet some of this thread is just confusing as hell about what is and isn't acceptable especially after reading the responses in the other thread.

How Soon Is Now

Chunners wrote: »

I understand what you are saying but don't see why that should be the case (if it is) tbh, they are the more aggressive and intimidating and I would take 20 Irish builders with their ass cracks showing and wolf whistling at me from their scaffolds any day over 1 Nigerian following me down the street and relentlessly trying everything to intimidate me to get me to come with him so it shouldn't matter who says it really. I mean it is a truth that it does happen. I'm old enough to be able to handle it but I dread to think how 16 year old girls who it happens to feel because even at my age (40) it is not nice being backed into a corner by them

Ah i dont doubt what your saying for one minute ive seen one or two examples out at night. It just doesnt take much to be called racist around these parts.

Chunners

UCDVet wrote: »

Sorry - no worries. I must admit I didn't read all the posts, I watched the video and then read the last few pages. I think at least some of the disagreement is just people talking at each other, with different things in mind. I took your post in the context of the video and so, we really weren't on the same page.

No worries, I haven't been arguing that what people were saying in that video was harassment (to be honest half the guys outside the shops saying Hello looked on their last legs anyway so were hardly a threat), I was just saying that IRL for women sometimes men can say things that they think is just a bit of harmless fun but in reality they are not in the woman's shoes (they wouldn't fit anyway) and a group of guys all of a sudden drawing attention to you can be very intimidating and a bit degrading even if what they are saying is meant as a compliment

Chunners

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Ah i dont doubt what your saying for one minute ive seen one or two examples out at night. It just doesnt take much to be called racist around these parts.

They can call me racist all they want tbh but it won't change that truth

How Soon Is Now

Chunners wrote: »

They can call me racist all they want tbh but it won't change that truth

ive used that line doesn't seem to work for me :P

Chunners

smurgen wrote: »

That's a stupid scenario and far removed from any of the incidents in the video.

You are totally right it is far removed from that video but the thread isn't about the video, the thread asked "So what's peoples thoughts on this? Have any men or women here ever experienced similar" and a lot of women have posted stories very similar to the scenario I put forward so it isn't stupid at all, for some women it has been a reality

Zulu

Zen65 wrote: »

If somebody could explain what that charity would do with the money they collect I'd love to hear. ...

My guess? Funding "gender studies" courses. :rolleyes:

I can't help but notice that the vast majority of the comments/harassment were from black guys? (That is to say, disproportionate to their % of the population even in NYC).

Not sure if that makes me racist, but just an observation none the less. It might be a "cultural" phenomenon.

osarusan

Have to laugh at the 'but if this isn't ok, then I'm confused at how to interact' posts.

Such drivel.

How Soon Is Now

Deleted User wrote: »

I can't help but notice that the vast majority of the comments/harassment were from black guys? (That is to say, disproportionate to their % of the population even in NYC).

Not sure if that makes me racist, but just an observation none the less. It might be a "cultural" phenomenon.

No comment........... :pac:

Chunners

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

ive used that line doesn't seem to work for me :P

I'm too busy trying to live a normal life to care what race people are, pricks are pricks no matter what colour or creed they are as far as I can see so to paraphrase Napoleon the pig "All pricks are equal but some are more equal than others"

J Mysterio

osarusan wrote: »

Have to laugh at the 'but if this isn't ok, then I'm confused at how to interact' posts.

Such drivel.

:pac:

Naos

Interesting that Snickers ad with the builders surprising women with empowering statements. Many people liked it and the women themselves in the video seemed to be positive about it.

One of them shouts, "Hey, have a wonderful day" and this is considered empowering, yet the same statement in that video was considered sexual harassment.

How Soon Is Now

Naos wrote: »

Interesting that Snickers ad with the builders surprising women with empowering statements. Many people liked it and the women themselves in the video seemed to be positive about it.

One of them shouts, "Hey, have a wonderful day" and this is considered empowering, yet the same statement in that video was considered sexual harassment.

I dont think the video was ever meant to be anything more then just ''propaganda'' so to speak. Ive seen enough of those kinds of videos to know i didnt need to watch this and see another one.

Dyr

Saw this posted from a self defence author, the bit in bold makes sense to me tbh:

Straight up if you walk past loiterers you're going to get noise. That's a fact of life in the streets. What walks past them is entertainment and also a revenue source.
It's not uncommon for strangers who approach you to want something. So harassment is too strong of a word for most of those interactions. This especially given that the supreme court has upheld panhandling as free speech.

Chunners

Naos wrote: »

Interesting that Snickers ad with the builders surprising women with empowering statements. Many people liked it and the women themselves in the video seemed to be positive about it.

One of them shouts, "Hey, have a wonderful day" and this is considered empowering, yet the same statement in that video was considered sexual harassment.

Chances are the script for that ad was probably wrote by a guy, you do realize that all the women were acting because it is part of their job?

RDM_83 again

Bambi wrote: »

Saw this posted from a self defence author, the bit in bold makes sense to me tbh:

Straight up if you walk past loiterers you're going to get noise. That's a fact of life in the streets. What walks past them is entertainment and also a revenue source.
It's not uncommon for strangers who approach you to want something. So harassment is too strong of a word for most of those interactions. This especially given that the supreme court has upheld panhandling as free speech.

While I agree I don't think it makes it any easier for the people effected, I used to be a long haired hippyish guy wandering around town few years on I'm often wandering around town in a puffy high vis jacket covered in mud with a shaved head, a huge difference in the amount of noise you get.

smurgen

Chunners wrote: »

You are totally right it is far removed from that video but the thread isn't about the video, the thread asked "So what's peoples thoughts on this? Have any men or women here ever experienced similar" and a lot of women have posted stories very similar to the scenario I put forward so it isn't stupid at all, for some women it has been a reality

Oh right.didn't know that.just negative experiences with the opposite sex.well here goes.have been grouped numerous occasions in nightclubs by women.ass pinched nearly everytime I've been in one.also had a woman in a wheelchair in a club put her hand down the front of my pants ,violently scrawling me with her nails when I stopped her.Had my ass pinched by two female colleagues in the gym.Had a married women force herself on me,my boss actually when I worked in a bar-her husband was my other boss.
Had a girl split my lip after she punched me in the face and chest as I was coming up the stairs in a club once. That was just general violence tho,not sexual to my knowledge.

Chunners

smurgen wrote: »

Oh right.didn't know that.just negative experiences with the opposite sex.well here goes.have been grouped numerous occasions in nightclubs by women.ass pinched nearly everytime I've been in one.also had a woman in a wheelchair in a club put her hand down the front of my pants ,violently scrawling me with her nails when I stopped her.Had my ass pinched by two female colleagues in the gym.Had a married women force herself on me,my boss actually when I worked in a bar-her husband was my other boss.
Had a girl split my lip after she punched me in the face and chest as I was coming up the stairs in a club once. That was just general violence tho,not sexual to my knowledge.

I'd consider the girl who put her hands down your pants sexual harassment wheelchair or not and I'd consider it assault if in the process she scrawled your genitals. Ass pinches in the gym from colleagues are sexual harassment, as is your bosses wife hitting on you. The girl in the club that sounds like assault. Did you ever do anything about all this?

Dyr

RDM_83 again wrote: »

While I agree I don't think it makes it any easier for the people effected, I used to be a long haired hippyish guy wandering around town few years on I'm often wandering around town in a puffy high vis jacket covered in mud with a shaved head, a huge difference in the amount of noise you get.

I used to have a long hair in a neighborhood where it could be grounds to get your head danced on. I learned that if I wanted to keep the locks and my IQ I was going to have to avoid walking past gangs of shams.

C'est la vie.

smurgen

Chunners wrote: »

I'd consider the girl who put her hands down your pants sexual harassment wheelchair or not and I'd consider it assault if in the process she scrawled your genitals. Ass pinches in the gym from colleagues are sexual harassment, as is your bosses wife hitting on you. The girl in the club that sounds like assault. Did you ever do anything about all this?

I took a swing at her before I was accosted by her two male friends . They all retreated pretty quickly when they seen how worked up I got.the rest just made me feel awkward but I got over them.
Those are just the incidents that were unwanted that I listed. There's been other incidents that were completely unexpected that I just went with because the female was hot or whatever but the point I'm trying to make is that women are no shrinking violets themselves and can be quiet predatory and sexually aggressive also.

ash23

I'm not an overly attractive woman. Nothing special. Fairly average. I'm 32 and have been socialising since I was about 17so 15 years total.

I've been followed home twice, approached by a guy telling me to get into his car once (he'd waited for me outside work).I've woken up on a friends couch to find a guy I'd talked to earlier that night had his hand down my pants.I've been flashed more times than I care to count and been made feel frightened and intimidated on public transport a few times. Most of this happened when I was young. Late teens and early twenties.

More recently as ive gotten older and more frequently than the instances above I've had the guys who sit down at my table uninvited.the ones who insist on walking me home even though I've refused. Ones who buy drinks I've said no thanks to. Ones who follow myself and my friends from one pub to another so we end up sneaking out the back to escape. Funny this all happens when I'm alone or with my girlfriends. When I'm with a mixed group or my boyfriend I get none of this.

More recently and more worryingly I've seen men approach my daughter and her friends.they're early teens. Tends to be older men. Telling them how pretty they are.

Like I said.I'm nothing special. Nothing unusual about me. I dress like a normal person. I socialise in a normal way. And yet I've had numerous experiences of harassment and being made to feel uncomfortable or downright terrified.

Its not rare to be harassed. It really isn't. And it varies from something that seems harmless to something that is just obviously disturbing and everything in between.

It's normal for a woman to have experiences like this. I'd say pretty much every woman can list a bunch of times she was harassed. I find it laughable that people are playing down the video.in ten hours that woman was followed twice!!! Even leaving out the remarks and the comments......that alone is too much.

We shouldn't be debating this. Nobody ever has the right to make someone feel afraid or uncomfortable and it really isn't difficult to see when someone doesn't want to interact or that comments like some of those in the video are out of line.

DeadHand

smurgen wrote: »

I took a swing at her before I was accosted by her two male friends

You punched a girl in a wheelchair?

smurgen

DeadHand wrote: »

You punched a girl in a wheelchair?

no the one who split my lip.I missed actually but the intention was there.I just took that girls hands off me and move away.she was extremely drunk.seen her in just her bra at one stage.

Chunners

smurgen wrote: »

I took a swing at her before I was accosted by her two male friends . They all retreated pretty quickly when they seen how worked up I got.the rest just made me feel awkward but I got over them.
Those are just the incidents that were unwanted that I listed. There's been other incidents that were completely unexpected that I just went with because the female was hot or whatever but the point I'm trying to make is that women are no shrinking violets themselves and can be quiet predatory and sexually aggressive also.

Hey I never said women were totally innocent of harassment either, if you look back I even mentioned hen nights where their (females) drunken behavior towards males can, at times, border on the exact same behavior as drunk males behave towards females at times

Piliger

ash23 wrote: »

We shouldn't be debating this. Nobody ever has the right to make someone feel afraid or uncomfortable and it really isn't difficult to see when someone doesn't want to interact or that comments like some of those in the video are out of line.

What utter nonsense, and I don't find any of your experiences of any merit whatsoever. It's about dealing with life and interacting with people. What kind of a world view have you created in your mind where someone who buys you a drink is causing you so much grief ? where someone who sits down at your table 'uninvited' causes you so much offence and problems ?

I suggest it is you who have the problems and not the men who are simply trying to get to meet and talk with you, what may be a slightly clumsy and imperfect way. Your attitude is appalling it seems to me.

"Nobody ever has the right to make someone feel afraid or uncomfortable"
What on earth is that supposed to mean anyway ? Where do we draw the line ? Saying hello in the street to a woman should be criminalised ? shunned ? is harassment ?

What an appalling piece of insanity your vista creates.

smurgen

Chunners wrote: »

Hey I never said women were totally innocent of harassment either, if you look back I even mentioned hen nights where their (females) drunken behavior towards males can, at times, border on the exact same behavior as drunk males behave towards females at times

so what point are you making so? it's a bit rich when you get these women on a crusade against male advances and up on their high horses and when i myself have been subjected to unwanted female attention,sexual assault in some instances.the difference is we don't make videos with suspect agendas behind them.