would you 'go again'

hiddenmongoose

following on from the 'whats the one thing' post about what you miss before you had a kid. has having a child turned any of ye off having a second ?
To be honest as much as I love my wee man I wouldnt go again as I just couldnt face into starting from scratch all over again ,think id have a breakdown !anyone else feel the same or had completely the opposite effect and mad to have another?

jasonb

My daughter is and year and four months now, and not once in that time have I ever felt like I'd like another child. Of course, that might change with time, but right now there's no way I'd do it. Don't get me wrong, she's amazing and we've been very lucky compared to some as she's very placid and generally sleeps well. But in some ways that just makes me feel like we've been lucky and what if another one was a lot harder? I also feel like I'm still only half beginning to learn what to do, and it's constantly changing, and adding another to the mix would only make it even more complicated and stressful! So it's a no for me, at the moment at least...

J.

Moonbeam

I have 4,the oldest is 5. Luckily none of them turned me off having another but 4 is my number . Pregnancy was awful on 3 of them and I love kids but never ever suffering pregnancy again,also 4 is a good number.

FullblownRose

Undecided!

lazygal

I've15 months between mine. I knew I wanted two and I'm delighted with the small gap now we're doing nicely. I'm completely undecided about more though.

Moonbeam

I have 15 months between my 2 youngest,it is a nice gap but if anyone is wondering 2 years is the perfect gap:)

pwurple

And I was about to say 3 years is the perfect gap.

I think I've had enough pregnancies now, and I've gotten to the stage where I know too many people where it's gone horribly horribly wrong. We're so lucky with ours being perfectly healthy.

Rose35

I'm battling with this one at the moment, it is mainly the guilt of him being an only child that is worrying me.
I found him very hard work he still doesn't sleep a full night but don't get me wrong I love him to bits and
wouldn't change a thing about it all, oh but what to do is killing me and I'm 38 so feel time is ticking away.
He is two since august.

hiddenmongoose

jasonb wrote: »

My daughter is and year and four months now, and not once in that time have I ever felt like I'd like another child. Of course, that might change with time, but right now there's no way I'd do it. Don't get me wrong, she's amazing and we've been very lucky compared to some as she's very placid and generally sleeps well. But in some ways that just makes me feel like we've been lucky and what if another one was a lot harder? I also feel like I'm still only half beginning to learn what to do, and it's constantly changing, and adding another to the mix would only make it even more complicated and stressful! So it's a no for me, at the moment at least...

J.

This is exactly the way I feel,except i cant see my opinion changing.In fact the older he is getting and the easier it is in ways with him only makes me more convinced I dont want to start over again

Moonbeam

That is why mine are close in age,I could not imagine big gaps,I would never have a life again.

monflat

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!
I'm content have 3.
4yr old 2 yr old and 9 weeks old


Ive had 3 horrific sections 2 emergency one planned all with complications so no I'm happy with my lot.

I feel I can only divide myself by 3 max!!!

Ms2011

I'm pregnant with no.2 right now, there will be 3 years between this one & my son.
If I'm honest I am dreading starting at the begining again, I'm not a big fan of pregnancy & the first 6 months when everything is so up in the air but I felt it was important for my son to have a sibling ( personal choice ) so we went again.
Those young years go by so quickly though, I still can't believe my son is turning 3 soon, I'm sure it won't be long before I'm wondering where the years have gone with this baby too:)
Two is my limit though!!

Sweet Rose

If you had asked me that question 5 years ago, I'd have said 5 or 6!!

I have a 15 month old daughter now who I love to bits but the reality of parenting is hard, especially on your own.

I'd only have another child if I met the right person. I would love to have 2 more, the thought of her growing up without siblings kills me. You'll never have that special relationship and bond with your friends, in my opinion. Blood is thicker than water.

Vel

I have a 5, 4 and 2 year old and it's perfect for us. In an 'ideal' world I might have gone again but I absolutely hate being pregnant as I suffer with severe sickness and financially it would be a huge burden. Once they are all out of creche by 2017 we will be in a much more comfortable financial position. Our youngest also has some health issues which will require future surgery and I would dread having to go through similar with another child. The thought of going back to the baby phase absolutely terrifies me if I'm honest!!!! So so glad we are out of it!

Sligo1

I think 4 is our magic number. My little guy is turning 2 at the end if November and we have a 7.5 month old. I would have 6 if I could but I really REALLY hate hate being pregnant. When I was pregnant with my daughter I found it extremely difficult to take care of a baby/wobbler. He was 6 months when I got pregnant, extremely heavy, and very very hard to carry around with a big bump. He didn't walk till around 14months. We are hoping to go again next year. But will wait till little miss turns 1 (March) before we try. Going to make the next gap nearer the 2 year mark all going well .

eishaa

I have one who is 22 months. I always wanted 3 or 4 children and still would love to have more. But, like sweet rose said parenting is hard especially when you're on your own and I would have to meet someone very special before I would think of having any more. So at the moment it looks like she will be an only child.

Xdancer

My daughter will be 3 in December and I would love her to have a sibling, but I don't particularly relish the idea of being pregnant or having a newborn again. Financially it would be tough for us too, so I don't know really. I'm 36 and need to lose weight before I would even contemplate going again.....time is ticking so I need to do it very soon if I am going to do it again.

jasonb

This isn't in any way an attack on anyone's personal feelings on the issue, but I've never understood the 'guilt' you're supposed to feel if you only have one child. I've already had friends and colleagues joke that my Daughter is looking 'lonely', it's like the next step after getting engaged ('When's the big day?'), and after getting married ('What about kids then?').

I know people with no siblings who have never expressed a wish that they'd had one, and I know people with siblings who don't get on with them at all. When it comes down to it, your life as you grow up is what's 'normal' for you, and I believe it's hard to miss something you've never experienced.

Of course, if a parent wants to have a second (or more) child, that's completely their choice! But I've never heard of parents being told they should feel guilty for having more than one, so why feel guilty for only having one?

Rant over, sorry!

J.

Sligo1

jasonb wrote: »

This isn't in any way an attack on anyone's personal feelings on the issue, but I've never understood the 'guilt' you're supposed to feel if you only have one child. I've already had friends and colleagues joke that my Daughter is looking 'lonely', it's like the next step after getting engaged ('When's the big day?'), and after getting married ('What about kids then?').

I know people with no siblings who have never expressed a wish that they'd had one, and I know people with siblings who don't get on with them at all. When it comes down to it, your life as you grow up is what's 'normal' for you, and I believe it's hard to miss something you've never experienced.

Of course, if a parent wants to have a second (or more) child, that's completely their choice! But I've never heard of parents being told they should feel guilty for having more than one, so why feel guilty for only having one?

Rant over, sorry!

J.

I wouldn't listen to those eegits tbh. Not enough to think about comes to mind. I mean... Who would say this to another person that's its time they had another!!?? I know some only children that wished they'd had siblings. But I also know a couple of only children who are extremely happy individuals and never wished for their lives to be any different at all. No need to be feeling guilty for any decisions at all. You as the parent knows what is best for you.

Moonbeam

I am an only child and it wasn't by choice on the part of my parents and I feel I really missed out and still do..but I know other only children who would have had it no other way.
Everyones circumstances are unique so some people can only ever have one,for financial reasons,for health reasons and for some people it is choice choice.
Oh yes people with multiple children are made feel guilty too,especially when they are close in age.

lukesmom

No more for me, I have 3 and that is me done. I've two boys one 12 and one 2 and a girl who is 4.

Ocean Blue

Sligo1 wrote: »

I wouldn't listen to those eegits tbh. Not enough to think about comes to mind. I mean... Who would say this to another person that's its time they had another!!??

Anyone have anything clever (but polite-ish) to say to these eejits to basically tell them to mind their own business?? I'm going to encounter one of these people in a few days and I'd to make it clear their line of questioning is totally inappropriate and obtrusive.

Sligo1

Ocean Blue wrote: »

Anyone have anything clever (but polite-ish) to say to these eejits to basically tell them to mind their own business?? I'm going to encounter one of these people in a few days and I'd to make it clear their line of questioning is totally inappropriate and obtrusive.

"Feck off!!!" I would think that is quite polite in contrast to their extremely impolite questions!

jasonb

Ocean Blue wrote: »

Anyone have anything clever (but polite-ish) to say to these eejits to basically tell them to mind their own business?? I'm going to encounter one of these people in a few days and I'd to make it clear their line of questioning is totally inappropriate and obtrusive.

I don't have any clever answers I'm afraid. The problem with these kind of comments is that if you don't laugh along with them, you're the one who is viewed as uptight and who needs to relax, sure it's only a joke etc. etc....

J.

Sligo1

Ocean Blue wrote: »

Anyone have anything clever (but polite-ish) to say to these eejits to basically tell them to mind their own business?? I'm going to encounter one of these people in a few days and I'd to make it clear their line of questioning is totally inappropriate and obtrusive.

Could you possibly ask them when they are having their next one??? If they are over child baring age (man or woman) you might get your point across

Ms2011

I think people just like to have something to say.
From the time my son was 6 months old I was getting the 'when are you going to have another', at that stage I had no intention of having another & told them so, much to their horror. Now I am pregnant again those same people love pointing out the negatives of having 2 'oh you won't be able to do this or that when you have 2':mad:
I know if this baby is another boy I'll then be getting 'oh you'll have to go again to have your girl' eemmm no, this is my last & final baby regardless of gender :P

Bagheera

I have two, age 3.5 and almost 10 months. I always thought two would be enough for me, but since my second was born I can't shake the feeling that I'd like another! There are plenty of days when I say 'never again' and I have two happy healthy children so it's not the end of the world if this is it. My partner thinks we would be insane to go again but he might be persuaded

indigo twist

I have a ten month old, I'd quite like to have at least one more, maybe two more. I think 2-3 years in between is the ideal gap, however I'm not sure we could afford a second within the next couple of years. We'll see! I actually had quite a comfortable pregnancy last time, so the thought of that wouldn't put me off ... Although I know I mightnt be so lucky when/if we go again!

galah

Bagheera, I think you are my twin

Having the same feelings here, the last 9 months with number 2 were really, really tough, but things are getting easier slowly, and i too keep thinking that i wouldnt mind one more baby to round it all off sometimes. And then there are the days where you'd put both kids on ebay and go back to a lovely quiet life with lots of disposable income

hubby is very much adamant that he doesnt want any more though (well, at the moment). He says that he doesnt want to witness another pregnancy and delivery, as it was so tough on me - and to be honest I would be a little freaked out about a third section after my gynae back home really advised against it due to all the potential complications of three sections in a row (plus i am still suffering from the aftermath of SPD in all it's glory :mad:)

Meh. Whatever will be, will be. We are very lucky and happy with two healthy kids, and that's the main thing.

How Strange

2 was always my number. I was 37 having my son so I knew I didn't have the luxury of dilly dallying on the second. However I couldn't even contemplate another pregnancy and baby until he was 15 months. There's 2 years and 3 months between him and his sister and for us that's ideal. Since having my daughter I've had a niggle about maybe one more but I don't think it'll happen. I'm 40 and we live in a 2 bed apartment. Oh and I think I might go insane if I had to go through the first year again. My son was a nightmare during the day but slept well at night, my daughter was a pleasure during the day but was and still is an awfully bad sleeper. To top it all off I don't enjoy being pregnant at all; apart from the fabulous, glossy hair.

So I guess we're finished!

yellow hen

Since my son turned one, I've really wanted to go again but it hasn't happened for us yet. The minute something threatens that chance of having more children, it's unbelievable how broody you get.