Elderly mother going downhill in hospital

flahers

My elderly mother was admitted to our local hospital ten weeks ago with severe confusion. Since then she improved quite a lot but developed a chest infection last week and I feel she is steadily going downhill. I am an only child and would never have managed her alone hence we are awaiting the fairdeal to go through. Today she is sleeping non stop and unable to say anything and at this stage I'm wondering is it possible to get her transferred to a Dublin hospital and hope that they might be able to give her a different treatment. I'm clutching at straws here I know because at 93 she is frail but I feel the hospital is not doing her any favours. It's very distressing because she was a very agile and independent woman up to this. It's impossible to get to talk with a doctor in this hospital and just want to give her every chance to get better.

freida

I'm so sorry you are going through this. What a difficult time for you. Have you anyone you can lean on for support??
I hope your mum is comfortable at the moment and pain free. They are two massive things. There is no way I would try and transfer her anywhere at the moment except to a hospice where her position would be even more comfortable. If she has spent ten weeks in hospital and the staff all know her I am sure they are looking out for her and will make the time she has left as comfortable as possible. Take care of yourself at this awful time

looksee

Flahers, I am sorry to hear your mother is not well. I agree with freida, you should not move your mother at the moment, but you need to talk to someone supportive. Talk to the staff in the hospital, see if you can talk to the doctor who is supervising her treatment. If no-one else talk to your GP. Your mum is not in any distress and that is so important. Take care and try and find someone to give you a bit of support.

Frito

Sorry your mam is sick.
I think you do need to at least speak to the medical team for their opinion on this lethargy - ask for a family meeting where you can air your concerns. You could ask the ward sister to book this. If they're not forthcoming then contact the hospital patient liaison service to get this arranged.

AnnaStezia

flahers, I am so sorry to see that both your mother and you are going through this. It is a really difficult and distressing situation.

Moving your mother to a Dublin hospital probably will not fix anything. In fact, it could make things a lot worse. Dublin hospitals are not all as great as people might think. Unless you are thinking about a private hospital (which are not all great shakes either) you may well find that a Dublin hospital will not accept her unless she is being transferred for some specific clinical reason like specialist treatment.

Also, if there was to be little difference in her medical management would moving her to Dublin not also create more difficulties for you in supporting her and being her advocate.

I agree with Frito's approach and think that that is the way to go.

I see understandable anxiety in your post but please do not give up as your mother needs you now more than ever.

Good luck with it all.