Daughter got into trouble.

Tanya30

My daughter got into trouble today at a friends house after she kicked a football at her friends face today whilst playing football plus she went in for a two footed tackle which hurt girls leg. The father of the girl slapped her on bottom and sent her inside to apologise to the girl, which she did as it was unintentional.

I was annoyed when a very upset Lily came back home crying that she had been "smacked on bottom".

This is 2nd time that he has smacked her bottom, 1st time was when she went into their house trailing mud on their carpet after being at swingpark, she was supposed to put shoes and jacket off at frontdoor but just forgot to do it.

What should I do regarding the father of her friend smacking her bottom? It is one of Lily's best friends so I don't want to piss off the parents.

KKkitty

Never mind pissing off the girls' parents, her friends father has no right to do that. A verbal telling off and then speaking to you should be the only way this man should deal with any altercation between his child and yours. I'd be livid if I were you. What age is your daughter?

maccydoodies

You mean this isn't the first time? For starters she wouldn't be going around there again. Ever. No way would I stand for anybody slapping my child, not even me!

Rosy Posy

You don't want to piss the parents off? If this was my child I would cut them completely. It is completely inappropriate and afaik illegal to physically punish another person's child. I don't want to get into the ins and outs of the smacking debate but physical punishment is far from universal and this parent must have a screw loose if they think they can go around doing this, whatever the situation (which in any case seems totally unwarranted- it seemed like an accident rather than maliciously hurting her friend). This is not the sort of person I would ever allow to be in charge of my child, and I really wouldn't care what the social implications were for me or the kids. It's too important IMO.

downonthefarm

The very least would be a very strong verbal warning.
How old is your girl ?
Nobody has the right to put hands on your child.i

mikom

A mans hand has touched your 8yr old daughter's bum on two separate occasions.
Think about that for a minute.

Tanya30

She is 8 and I hope you didn't mean that in a dirty way :O?

Will maybe say the mans wife at School tomorrow and have a word with her but supposedly, he even smacks his own child on bottom.

KKkitty

Tanya30 wrote: »

She is 8 and I hope you didn't mean that in a dirty way :O?

Will maybe say the mans wife at School tomorrow and have a word with her but supposedly, he even smacks his own child on bottom.

I'm sure mikom doesn't but it's not this man's place to slap your child. I would discontinue any play dates your child has in that house immediately if I were you. You're her mother and it's your choice how your child is punished for bad behaviour not his.

Caprica6

Tanya30 wrote: »

My daughter got into trouble today at a friends house after she kicked a football at her friends face today whilst playing football plus she went in for a two footed tackle which hurt girls leg. The father of the girl slapped her on bottom and sent her inside to apologise to the girl, which she did as it was unintentional.

I was annoyed when a very upset Lily came back home crying that she had been "smacked on bottom".

This is 2nd time that he has smacked her bottom, 1st time was when she went into their house trailing mud on their carpet after being at swingpark, she was supposed to put shoes and jacket off at frontdoor but just forgot to do it.

What should I do regarding the father of her friend smacking her bottom? It is one of Lily's best friends so I don't want to piss off the parents.

I would never let a child back to someone who slapped them once.....screw that ....thats your child and that's not an area for anyone to go near....better off with out that

bajer101

If he had touched my daughter once like that, not only would he never get an opportunity to do it again, he would never get an opportunity to do it to any other child. I would have informed the parents of any other children who would be in contact with him about it and I also would have left him in no doubt that if he ever even looked at my daughter again I'd break his arms.

Tanya30

Decision made and yep, she ISN'T going back there, her friend can come round to ours.

Anyway, the wife rang me and apologised and has split from him on the advice of their EIGHT year old daughter! The lady said that he has indeed smacked his own daughter, once on the ear just because she was "full" and didn't eat her dinner.

He has had loads of wives, all of them eventually split from him due to "abuse".

marco_polo

Tanya30 wrote: »

She is 8 and I hope you didn't mean that in a dirty way :O?

Will maybe say the mans wife at School tomorrow and have a word with her but supposedly, he even smacks his own child on bottom.

Do 100% it is not his place to say how your child should be punished (And it does sound like she was a bit naughty but if or how you chose to repremand her is a completely seperate issue). No matter how he disciplines his own kids (let not go down the is smacking ever acceptable road) performing corporal punishment on somebody elses child is way beyond the pale of normal socially acceptable behaviour.

DukeOfTheSharp

My advice, given your most recent post would be this: go to the gardai and have them warn him not to touch your daughter ever again, it's making a point and it needs to be done. He had no right to do what he did and I'm glad that his soon-to-be ex-wife's daughter managed to get them both out of there. The guy has a history of physically abuse, a scare from the gardai might work wonders on him. But again, it proves a point. I'd honestly be livid if I had a child and this happened to them. He'd be fishing my boot out of his hole.

Tanya30

For what its worth, I wouldn't and am *not* going to punish her. But, I will speak to her regarding her rough nature of play because she has a tendency to play rough, its same at School when playing football.

She gets as good as she gives out but is a real "hardy" because she shrugs it off and gets on with it.

m'lady

If this post is genuine and your not a troll, I'm in serious shock that you've remained so calm over this. If anyone touched my daughter, including her father, I'd completely freak out.

Tanya30

I can confirm that I am NOT a troll ;-).

the_syco

Tanya30 wrote: »

Anyway, the wife rang me and apologised and has split from him on the advice of their EIGHT year old daughter! The lady said that he has indeed smacked his own daughter, once on the ear just because she was "full" and didn't eat her dinner.

He has had loads of wives, all of them eventually split from him due to "abuse".

Report him to the Gardai over this. The Gardai cannot act on what they don't know.

Tanya30

Gardai? I am lost, I take it you mean, what is known in UK as Police?

SparkySpitfire

Tanya30 wrote: »

Gardai? I am lost, I take it you mean, what is known in UK as Police?

You do know you're on an Irish website right? :P You never explained you were in the UK so yes, Gardai is the default for law enforcement on this site.

Tanya30

No, I didn't know that :-O.

Will still post here though :-).

nuckeythompson

i take it your a single mother and a bad mother too, Your childs father would have went around to him and punched his lights out because thats what I would do. The reason I say your a bad mother is your so calm over this and you by the sounds of it will put your child in the position of potential abuse


*mod note*
Please attack the post not the poster.
We do not condone illegal behaviour here.

Tanya30

Believe me, I am NOT calm and do not believe in violence and yes, I am a single parent.

nuckeythompson

well then report the person who did this. Imagine what he does to his own child? What he did is illegal and abusive

anncoates

Troll


*mod note*

Please just report the post rather then stating "Troll"

Tanya30

I have already said that I am not a troll so why say that!!!?

anncoates

Tanya30 wrote: »

I have already said that I am not a troll so why say that!!!?

Did your 8 year old learn how to fasten her jacket yet in between getting slapped on the arse?

Tanya30

She is still practising and its only school jacket she struggles with remember

CrazyRabbit

A stranger has physically assaulted your child twice and left her in tears. A report to the local police is warranted (excuse the pun).

Ed Winchester

After reading a few other posts from the OP in other threads she's started. I'd be doubtful about the integrity of her claims.
As a father, I can think of a hundred different reactions i'd have to an incident like this happening ONCE never mind twice, to posting about it looking for advice on Boards.

Chocolate fiend

Ed Winchester wrote: »

After reading a few other posts from the OP in other threads she's started. I'd be doubtful about the integrity of her claims.
As a father, I can think of a hundred different reactions i'd have to an incident like this happening ONCE never mind twice, to posting about it looking for advice on Boards.

I agree, as a mother there is no way I could stay calm if anyone (including their own father) slapped them on the bum, and if it was the father of a friend I would have been more than a little furious and not at all worried about "pissing them off"

Ralf and Florian

Jaysus folks talk about an overreaction.We got much worse in our day.Its no wonder kids nowadays are such spoilt little divas.